Epic Friends
by ActionBitch
Summary: Modern times. Sesshomaru and Lisa buy a condo and live together for a while. During their time together, Lisa holds random gatherings with friends while Sesshomaru does what he does best, studies. Not a romance just random. Rated T for language
1. Chapter 1

That's The Way Life Rolls

An alarm clock goes off at five in the morning. A lazy, slender arm smacked the clock a few times, attempting to shut the alarm off.

"God…damn…button!" a girl groaned in her pillow as she smacked her alarm clock repeatedly. Finally she got so tired of trying to shut it off temporarily, so she decided to shut it off for eternity. Her hand grabbed the clock as she hurled it across the room, smiling in her pillow as the sound of smashing plastic silenced the horrible beeping.

"What the hell is going on in there?" a voice shouted.

"Fuck." The girl growled in her pillow as her mom kicked the door open.

"What…oh! Come on, Lisa! Another alarm clock?" her mom shouted.

"Mom, it's five in the morning, talk to me about it in about six more hours!" Lisa mumbled.

"Oh no, young lady! You're going to school today!" her mom scolded.

"Mom! I had only one trimester this year! I finished it Friday! Didn't I tell you that, or were you, once again, not listening?" Lisa shouted, finally sitting up from under the covers. Her mom crossed her arms and sighed.

"No, I forgot. Sorry. But I am not getting you another clock!"

"That's fine, I'll use my cell phone." Lisa mumbled, falling back under her covers. Her mom closed the door and Lisa exhaled with relief. No more school. Out of three trimesters in her senior year, she only had to go one, and she was done. In about two months, she was going to college. So for two months, she could do whatever she wanted. A violent vibration on her bedside table snapped Lisa out of her thoughts. She picked up her enV 2 cell phone and sighed, clicking the button.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Hey, sleepy head. Excited about having no more school?" the person asked.

"Who's this?" Lisa grumbled, rubbing her forehead gently.

"I swear, you are the only person who answers their phone without looking at the caller ID. It's me, Sesshomaru."

"Dude, do you have any clue what time it is?"

"Why yes, it's 5:08 A.M."

"Right, smart ass. And what are you doing calling me before noon?"

"Well, since you work for my father, he told me to call you and tell you that Sarah called in sick, therefore, you need to come in at nine this morning."

"Aw, son of a bitch!" Lisa whined.

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

"So, do you have a message for me to give to him?"

"Yeah, tell him thanks for inconveniencing my day."

"He's says you're welcome."

"That was fast."

"You're on speaker."

"Shit. Ok, leave me alone." Lisa said, clicking the phone off and setting her alarm for seven.

A few hours later, Lisa turned her cell phone alarm off peacefully and grabbed her towel, walking into the bathroom. She started up a hot shower and jumped in, almost drowning herself by holding her head up with her mouth wide open. Lisa got out and dried her layered, dyed black hair. Lisa groaned with annoyance.

"Now I have to dress nice while at the same time looking like I'm going to a Slayer concert." She grumbled, pulling out nice black slacks and pulling them on. Next she opened her closet and found her white button up short sleeve shirt. As she was buttoning it up, she realized that her boobs had gotten bigger.

"What? Oh, come oooooon!" She whined as she looked in the mirror, her deep-sea blue eyes glaring fiercely at her reflection. She definitely looked like the office skank that purposely shows off cleavage to her boss to get a raise.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it." Lisa cursed as she rummaged through her closet to find a shirt that made her look professional, not like a professional slut. She found the long sleeve black jacket that went with the pants and sighed, deciding it was better than nothing. She pulled out her hair gel and spiced her hair up a bit and smiled. It looked like she had just gotten out of bed and put nice clothes on.

"Oh well, at least I smell nice." She said, grabbing her keys and her phone as she walked down the hallway and into the kitchen.

"I thought you were going to sleep in?" her mom asked as Lisa put the already cooked pancakes in the microwave to heat them up.

"I have to go in. Some stupid skank called in sick." Lisa replied bitterly, taking the pancakes out of the microwave and pouring syrup on them.

"Hah, well, that's life." Her mom said.

"Tell me…about it." Lisa said in between bites.

"Hi Lizzy!" a young boy shouted, hugging his sister around the waist.

"Stop calling me that! It's Lisa." Lisa said, peeling the boy off of her waist.

"He is just being lovable." Her mom scolded.

"Until the sun disappears behind the horizon." Lisa said back with a faked serious voice.

"Oh, Anthony, don't color right now. Eat your breakfast and get ready for school." Her mom ordered her little brother. Lisa yawned. It was almost eight. Lisa grabbed her keys and walked into the front room and unlocked the door.

"Have a good day!" her mom called.

"Definitely." Lisa said back, walking out to her black Hummer 3. She didn't by it, her dad did. Now she just drives it. She got in and just as she stuck her keys in the ignition, her cell phone rang. She clicked the button.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Are you still coming in?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Are you watching me and/or spying on me?" Lisa asked, refusing to turn her vehicle on.

"No…why?" he asked.

"This is twice within three hours that you've called me at the wrong damn time."

"Where are you?"

"I was just about to turn my car on."

"Oh, I didn't mean to do that. I know how much you hate talking on the phone and driving. Sorry."

"It's all good. Yes, I'm on my way." Lisa said, turning her phone off and turning her H3 on, backing out of her ridiculously long driveway. Was her family rich? Not super rich, but enough. She turned onto the road and her cell phone rang again. Lisa placed her phone on the passenger seat and refused to pick it up. Lisa came to a stop light behind forty cars. Damn traffic. She guessed it was ok to out her phone on speaker at least. She called them back and pressed the speaker button.

"Heeeeey! Lisa!" a voice called.

"What did you want, G?" she asked.

"I was wondering if you could pick me up since you and I are going to the same place?" he asked.

"Sure, Max, I'm on my way."

"Ok, sweetie, bye." He sang, hanging up. Lisa shut her phone and shook her head. She hated being called "sweetie." Lisa turned on the next road and headed towards her friend's house. She pulled up in front of the nice, cozy white house and honked her horn obnoxiously. The door opened and Max came running up to the passenger side in nice black pants and a button up white shirt. He was carrying his black jacket with him.

"Thanks sooooo much! My sis took my car without asking, stupid cunt. So how has…OH…MY…GOD!" Max yelled, staring at Lisa.

"What?" Lisa asked.

"Awww, girl, your boobs got bigger!" Max yelled. Lisa felt her cheeks grow hot.

"Shut up, Max! I thought you were gay!"

"I am, but I could just tell! The jacket covers it up pretty well, though! Don't worry, I'm just too observant!" Max reassured his friend.

"Well, keep your observations to yourself! I have enough stalkers as it is." Lisa whined, pulling back onto the road.

"Like Sesshomaru? Oh God, I would love to melt in his mouth."

"Please Max, keep your fantasies to yourself."

"You know I'm doing it just to annoy you, right?"

"You're doing an A+ job of it."

"Wow, I'm usually just an A or B student, too." Max replied with a smile. Lisa smiled too. She could never stay mad at him. Lisa's phone began ringing.

"Max, get that for me." Lisa said.

"Uh oh, spaghetti-o's!" Max said.

"Who is it?"

"Your stalker."

"Which one? I have like…ten!"

"Sesshomaru."

"Ugh, asswipe. Answer it." Lisa said. Max put it on speaker and smiled.

"Hey sexy." Max said with a deep voice.

"Where's Lisa, Max?" Sesshomaru asked with no hinting amusement.

"She's right next to me, driving like a maniac. She's pissed at you too."

"I know she hates it when I call when she's driving, but it's important."

"What is it?" Lisa asked loudly, flipping off a driver as they tried to cut her off.

"Well, my dad, or your boss, just hired someone new." Sesshomaru said.

"So?" Lisa and Max said at the same time.

"He hired Katie…Katie Myers?" Sesshomaru said.

"HE DID WHAT?" Lisa hollered, honking heatedly at another driver.

"Ugh, I hate that bitch!" Max whined.

"And to add insult to injury, Lisa, you're in charge of training her." Sesshomaru added.

"You tell your dad to suck my balls! I am NOT training her!" Lisa snapped.

"And tell him he can suck my dick anytime." Max added in. Lisa punched him in the arm hard.

"Ow! What? He's pretty hot too." Max whispered.

"I can still hear you." Sesshomaru stated.

"So?" Max retorted.

"Damn it! I can't believe he did that!" Lisa yelled, pulling into a parking lot in front of a tall building.

"We're here. You'll probably hear Lisa bitching the whole way up." Max said into the phone.

"Haha, I'll be waiting." Sesshomaru said with a laugh. Lisa snatched the phone from Max and walked into the building. She walked up to the front desk and flashed her ID card, as well as Max. The lady nodded as they walked into the elevator.

"So, what are you going to do?" Max asked, putting on his black jacket.

"Bitch until I get my way." Lisa said bitterly with her arms crossed.

"Yeah, that should work. It usually does." Max replied, running his hand through his short, spiked brown hair. His green eyes were watching his reflection on the elevator wall, as he made sure he looked good.

"So, what are you going to do about Game Night this Saturday?" Lisa asked Max. Max shoved his hands in his pocket and shrugged.

"Same old shit. Hook everything up in the basement with the ridiculously large TV and surround sound system. Cook up some of my cookies."

"Ah, dude, your cookies are the best!" Lisa said with a smile.

"I know. My mom was good for something." Max replied as the elevator doors opened. Lisa and Max walked out of the elevator and down to the door that said, "Corporate President."

"Ok, here we go." Lisa said as she opened the door. Sesshomaru was standing next to the desk where his father sat. And Katie Myers stood in front of the desk in a somewhat short black skirt, a white button up shirt that was too tight and showed cleavage, and heels. She brushed her long, blonde hair behind her shoulders as her blue eyes watched Max and Lisa.

"I think I saw her ass when the wind from the door blew on her." Max whispered quietly to Lisa as they walked in.

"Hahahaha! I think the only reason Inutaisho hired her is because he wanted to see if they were real." Lisa laughed as she closed the door. Sesshomaru bowed his head and shook it, knowing that Lisa and Max had already started their, "Verbal Office Clean-Up" of the day.

"Oh, good morning you two." Inutaisho said as he leaned back in his chair.

"Morning." Max and Lisa grumbled.

"Is there ever a time when you two aren't together?" Inutaisho asked, leaning forward and crossing his arms. Max put his arm around Lisa's waist.

"We are BFF's!" Max said in his too-much-man Army voice. Inutaisho frowned.

"Lisa, I thought you and Sesshomaru were BFF's?" he asked.

"Well, that's what you get for thinking." Lisa replied quickly. She heard Sesshomaru let out an irritated exhale. Max let go of Lisa as Sesshomaru walked over and leaned down in her ear.

"It'd be best not to test him today. He's not very happy with your maturity level." He whispered.

"I don't care." Lisa said loudly. Max glared heatedly at Katie, who glared back.

"Ok, so, Lisa, you are to train this sweet, young lady until," Inutaisho began.

"Did you just call her "juicy?"" Max interrupted purposely. A tense silence followed by Inutaisho's reply.

"No…I said sweet, young lady." He said slowly. Max shrugged indifferently.

"Oh, sorry. I could've sworn you said, "juicy."" Max said again, his face showing that he meant something else. Lisa closed her eyes and tried to restrain her laughter as Sesshomaru propped one elbow in the other hand, the remaining hand on his forehead as he shook his head slightly. He was smiling, too.

"As I was saying, Lisa, you are in charge of her. Any mistakes she makes will be your mistakes instead." Inutaisho finished, eyes still staring at Max.

"I decline." Lisa said. Inutaisho's old, golden eyes landed on her.

"What?" he asked.

"I won't do it. She and I have had a bad history, and we have an even worse present, I won't be responsible for her actions." Lisa said professionally.

"Sesshomaru, take Lisa outside and talk to her." Inutaisho said. Sesshomaru opened the door as Lisa stepped out. He walked out too and closed the door.

"What do you think you're doing?" he hissed angrily.

"I'm not training that bitch!" Lisa hissed back.

"Look, this isn't the time for your high school drama! You're going to college in two months, grow up!" he stated angrily.

"She will fuck up on purpose and I'm not taking the fall for it! That cunt is evil and you know it! Don't act like you don't know her!" Lisa said back. Sesshomaru crossed his arms and sighed.

"Sarah was supposed to be the one and she called in, therefore you're supposed to step up." Sesshomaru said calmly. Lisa frowned.

"Look, if she wasn't that awful, I would train her, but after what happened a few weeks ago, I can't guarantee that I won't beat the shit out of her. You, at least, know me well enough."

"Ugh, dear God, fine. I will try to talk him out of it." Sesshomaru said, opening the door and walking back in with Lisa.

"She can't do it." Sesshomaru said.

"Why not?" Inutaisho asked Lisa.

"History of beating the living hell out of people I don't like." Lisa retorted happily.

"It's true, that's why the schools never let them get within twenty feet of one another." Sesshomaru said. Max leaned over to Lisa.

"Did you win?" he asked.

"I think so." Lisa whispered back. Inutaisho exhaled and stood up, looking at Lisa.

"It's only for a few weeks." He pleaded.

"I will quit if you force this on me." Lisa said seriously.

"Oh, she's not playing around." Max said.

"Fine. I will get someone else to do it, but, since you're on my shit list, Lisa, guess what you get to do?" Inutaisho said in a fake happy voice as he picked up his desk phone.

"I get to retype boring ass speeches for you?" Lisa asked with boredom.

"Yes Ma'am! Get to it." Inutaisho said, pointing to the other desk in his room. Lisa started laughing when he turned around as she and Max bumped fists.

"See you in eight hours!" Max whispered.

"More like two! I'm not a slow person like you!" Lisa giggled as Max and Katie walked out of the room with Inutaisho. Lisa trotted over to the desk and turned on the computer.

"You are out of your mind." Sesshomaru said plainly as he sat on the couch, reading the newspaper.

"Well, if I wasn't that probably never would've worked." Lisa retorted.

"Truer words never spoken." Sesshomaru replied.

"What's with your dad? He's being a prick today." Lisa asked as she began typing.

"His wife wouldn't talk to him last night." Sesshomaru said.

"Haha, I guess Daddy couldn't make a little racket in the sack, huh?" Lisa asked with a smile.

"Tch…disgusting." Sesshomaru said with a smile.

"Hey, at least it rhymed this time _and_ you're smiling." Lisa pointed out as she turned the page.

"I'm smiling because you never know when to shut your mouth." Sesshomaru said, eyes darting towards the door. Lisa leaned to the side and there was Inutaisho, leaning in the doorway with a smile on his face.

"Aw…shit." Lisa mumbled.

"Yes, at least it did rhyme this time." Inutaisho said, walking in and sitting down at his desk, eyes bearing down on her. Lisa looked at Sesshomaru, who was hiding his joy behind the morning paper, but anyone could tell he was laughing.

"You could've warned me, asswipe." Lisa grumbled.

"Hey, you said it, not me." Sesshomaru replied, regaining his calm disposition.

"Lisa, did you gain weight or something?" Inutaisho asked from across the room. Lisa's heated glare went straight to him.

"Dad!" Sesshomaru hissed.

"No, it's ok. I didn't gain weight, but something happened to my body that you wish would happen to your wife's." Lisa shot back.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Inutaisho asked.

"My boobs got bigger." Lisa said, opening her jacket to show him how her shirt was tight. Inutaisho's smile disappeared as he mumbled to himself. He pulled out his cell phone and began texting. Lisa looked over at Sesshomaru, who was staring at the floor with the same look on his face as a deer does in headlights.

"You ok?" Lisa asked him. He turned his head to her and shook his head.

"I can't believe he said that to you." Sesshomaru whispered quietly so that his dad couldn't hear. Lisa shrugged.

"Oh well." She said, returning to her typing.

"Do you want to go out to lunch with me or something? I'm tired of going by myself and having random girls sit near me and act like we know each other." He said. Lisa thought for a minute and shrugged.

"I guess. I've nothing else to do on my lunch break except keep the women at bay." Lisa said sarcastically.

"Then you should be a full blown professional at it." He replied.

"Yep." Lisa said with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Lunch Break and Condos

Lisa got inside Sesshomaru's white Escalade and put on her seatbelt. She shook her head while laughing.

"What's so funny?" Sesshomaru asked, revving up the engine.

"God, is there ever a day where you aren't rolling around in a brand new car?" she asked as he backed out of the parking space.

"Yes." He replied.

"When?" she asked.

"Last year, I was driving an '07." He replied.

"Oh my God, one year late." Lisa said sarcastically, flipping open her phone as she got a text from Max.

'omg thiz beotch iz awful!' it read. Lisa texted back,

'One, I'm sorry. Two, learn how to spell. Damn, it's like trying to read another language with you.' Lisa flipped her phone shut and looked up, watching as they passed other drivers who were on their cell phones while smoking, or eating, or both.

"Ugh, that just grinds my gears!" Lisa exclaimed as someone was smoking, talking and brushing their hair.

"I know. So, what do you think you got in sociology?" he asked, turning onto another road. Lisa frowned. She had completely forgotten that he was the same age and in the same boat as she was. At times, she swore that he was much older than he really was.

"I'm pretty sure it was an A. I only bombed one test in there and I got A's on everything else." Lisa said back.

"Yes, I do remember you bombing it. Haha, that was the most clueless I've ever seen you." He joked.

"Shut up, I didn't study because I had better things to do. What do you think you got?" she asked him.

"An A, I'm pretty sure. Where do you want to eat?"

"Any place that has food." Lisa said, ignoring her vibrating phone.

"Specifics please."

"I don't care. You're paying, you choose." Lisa said. She silently inhaled at herself. "You're paying." How could she say that to a long time friend?

"Actually, I'll pay for myself." She said quickly as he pulled up in front of Friday's.

"No, I'll pay." Sesshomaru argued.

"Yeah, pay for yourself. I'm going all out at Friday's, I would feel awful if paid for me." Lisa said back. She pulled the handle, but Sesshomaru locked the door.

"You're not getting out until you agree that I pay for everything." He said, golden eyes locking with her deep-sea blue ones. Instantly, she clicked the unlock button and pulled the handle, but he beat her to it, relocking the door.

"Oh, is that how we're going to play, alright." Lisa said, quickly unlocking, but it clicked again.

"You may be fast, but I'm faster." He said.

"Tch! Warm ups are nothing!" Lisa said, unlocking it, but it relocked.

"Still warming up?"

"Suck it!" Lisa said, unlocking it, but he relocked it, which caused her to unlock once more and jerk the handle, causing the door to fly open and her fall out. She hit the pavement on her back and began laughing.

"Are you ok?" Sesshomaru asked, laughing. Lisa jumped up, both hands in the air.

"I win, jackass!" Lisa shouted. She saw an old couple walking past her, staring like she was some deranged teenager. Haha…irony. Sesshomaru got out and locked the doors, closing his own. Lisa shut the passenger door and ran up to Sesshomaru, dancing her way inside.

"I win, I win, I win, I win, I win!" she chanted, doing the pelvic thrust. Sesshomaru elbowed her sharply as a waiter walked up.

"Table for two in non-smoking, please." Sesshomaru said to him, watching Lisa do a small dance with her arms. She stopped and smiled as she followed the waiter to their table. They sat down as they opened their menus.

"Can I start you off with something to drink?" the waiter asked.

"Water." Sesshomaru said.

"Mountain Dew." Lisa said. The waiter nodded and walked away.

"Actually, Lisa, I brought you here to ask you something." Sesshomaru said, setting his menu down. Lisa sat hers down and frowned slightly.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I'm really tiring of my dad's attitude. He's been awful lately. Not to mention my brother isn't much fun to be around, either." He started as the waiter walked up and set their glasses and straws down.

"Yeah, I've noticed. Thank for having my back earlier, by the way." Lisa shot irritably.

"Hahaha! I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!" Sesshomaru laughed, sticking his straw in his water.

"Whatever. Bring up a point to this." Lisa demanded, sipping some Dew.

"I was wondering if you would like to move in with me…somewhere." He asked, voice fading. Lisa frowned and sighed.

"You're not trying to get in my pants are you?" she asked teasingly. He looked at her frantically.

"No! I'm not! I just want to move away from my family, but I want a companion, too. You've been my best friend since I've been in America and…I don't trust anyone else as much as you." He explained. Lisa nodded and coughed.

"Yeah, sure. Sounds fun." She said.

"Really?"

"Yeah! I've always wanted to move in with a friend and have something to tell my kids about." Lisa said.

"You're having kids?"

"Someday I might." Lisa retorted, looking at her menu again.

"I was looking in the paper this morning,"

"More like laughing in the paper this morning."

"Look, that was a lesson for you to learn to keep your mouth shut. Anyway, before that happened, I found a nice condo on the beach and was wondering if you're interested?"

"Hell yeah, the beach is my friend!" Lisa exclaimed. Sesshomaru exhaled.

"Alright. Want to check it out today after work?"

"Sounds great, but I'm driving."

"Fine."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000

After typing the most boring speech that Inutaisho could get his hands on, Lisa walked into the elevator with Max and Sesshomaru.

"So, where are you two heading?" Max asked, putting his cell phone back in his pocket. Lisa and Sesshomaru stared at one another; silently deciding which one of them was going to break the news. Lisa shrugged.

"He and I are moving in together so we're going to check out this condo on the beach." Lisa said. She and Sesshomaru stared at Max for a moment of silence, wondering what he was thinking.

"Oh cool! That's awesome!" Max said with a smile.

"You approve?" Sesshomaru asked.

"What? No sexual comments?" Lisa asked with her arms crossed. Max shrugged.

"I know you guys too well. I know better than to assume that you guys are going to do anything down that alley." Max said maturely.

"Max, I'm so proud of you." Lisa said.

"I'm just surprised." Sesshomaru replied as the doors opened.

"Oh, Max, don't you need a ride?" Lisa asked.

"No. I forgot to tell you that my sister is coming to get me in my car." Max replied.

"Ok, peace out." Lisa said, walking out the front door.

"Sure you want to drive?" Sesshomaru asked Lisa.

"Yes. You're not violent enough for me." Lisa replied, unlocking her H3 and hopping in the driver's seat. Sesshomaru got in the passenger side and buckled his seatbelt, looking around.

"What?" Lisa asked.

"Oh nothing, just trying to find another seatbelt to prevent my neck from snapping." He replied jokingly.

"Shut up, I'm not that bad." Lisa said, purposely pulling out of her parking spot way to fast. Sesshomaru was already white-knuckling it.

"Hahaha, priceless."

"Shut up and drive, Lisa!" Sesshomaru snapped.

"Whatever you say." Lisa replied, hitting the gas and speeding down the road. It took about twenty minutes to get to the condo building, but that was mainly traffic. Lisa got out, laughing at Sesshomaru who commented on how he about pissed his pants when Lisa flipped off some big, ugly guy because the guy followed them for a while.

"You're such a pussy." Lisa said.

"I can take him, it's you I'm worried about." Sesshomaru said as they walked up to the front desk.

"Sesshomaru, that guy was like ten times your size." Lisa said.

"Hi, can I help you?" the clerk asked.

"Yes, we're here to see about buying one of your condo rooms." Sesshomaru said.

"Haha, you said condoms." Lisa whispered when the clerk went to grab the keys.

"No I didn't." Sesshomaru argued.

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"I heard you."

"Clean your ears out, now, shh!" Sesshomaru hissed as the clerk walked back.

"Here, I'll walk up with you to answer any of your questions." The guy said.

"Awesome." Lisa said as they walked to the elevator.

"Guess what floor?" Sesshomaru asked Lisa.

"Please be the very top floor. I want my nose to bleed so I can clear my head everyday."

"How about the middle floor?"

"Ugh, fine, I can forgive you." Lisa said teasingly. Sesshomaru smirked as he pushed her. The doors opened as they followed the clerk to their ocean view condo.

"No one has bought this? Ok, what's wrong with it?" Lisa asked as they walked inside. It was perfect. The walls were painted with ocean scenery and awesome ocean-based pictures on the walls. There was a living room; a big one and a small bar with stools separated the kitchen from it. There was a hallway leading from the front room down to two bedrooms and two bathrooms.

"Nothing is wrong, it's just that no one has heard about this being open." The clerk reassured her.

"Tch! You sure it isn't haunted or something?" Lisa asked skeptically.

"Lisa, there's nothing wrong." Sesshomaru reassured her.

"I've been watching those ghost shows on Discovery, where two people walk into a place, thinking it's perfect, so they buy it and move in and weird shit starts happening." Lisa argued.

"Well, we haven't heard any stories such as that." The clerk said.

"So, if I came running down to you at three in the morning, also known as the "Witching Hour," and I tell you that my TV just levitated off the floor, would you believe me?" she asked. Sesshomaru grabbed her shoulders and aimed her towards the hallway.

"Just go look at the bedrooms, please?" Sesshomaru said.

"Haha, she's quite the funny one." The clerk commented.

"No, she's just paranoid." Sesshomaru corrected.

"Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind. People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time." Lisa sang as she opened the door on the left. A bedroom painted a nice blue with a sandy colored carpet with a door that led out to the balcony for a great view of the ocean.

"Mmmm…this is my room." Lisa said as Sesshomaru looked inside.

"Fine. I get the other room." He said, opening the other door. It was basically the same as the other, just different pictures on the walls. He saw the door that led to the bathroom and nodded. Definitely perfect. He and Lisa met back out in the living room and sat down on the stools at the bar.

"What do you think?" he asked her.

"I'm in. I love it." Lisa said.

"Alright. I pay half, you pay half, or I pay all one month and you pay next month?" he asked.

"Half and half sounds a little more fair."

"Ok."

"What about pets? Can we have those?" Lisa asked the clerk.

"Well, dogs and cats will cost extra, but caged animals are fine. No extra cost." The clerk said. Lisa smiled and looked at Sesshomaru.

"We're getting a guinea pig!" she insisted, grabbing both of his shoulders and shaking him. Sesshomaru let her shake him and exhaled.

"What if I want a bunny?" he whined.

"I'm sorry, was that the part where I'm supposed to care? We're getting a guinea pig." She argued.

"Fine, but we're getting a boy."

"Fine, but I'm naming him Dee Donk, D-E-E D-O-N-K."

"Doesn't that mean "hey" in French if you spell it, D-I-S D-O-N-C?"

"Yes, but we are spelling it Dee Donk."

"Fine!" Sesshomaru exhaled.

"So, will you take it?" the clerk asked.

"Yes." Sesshomaru said.

"Alright, I'll go get the papers." The clerk said, walking out of the room.

"How do you want to decorate?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Two couches, one big one over against that wall and a smaller one against the shorter wall. Get a La-Z Boy chair right here." Lisa said, pointing at the spots.

"I have no arguments." Sesshomaru said.

"Yeah, because you know I'll win." Lisa teased as the clerk walked in with papers and a pen. He handed them to Sesshomaru who started filling out his information.

"Do you think you should tell your parents?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Fuck no! They can suck it! I'm 18, I can move wherever I want with whoever…did you tell yours?" Lisa asked, alarmed.

"I told them I was moving in with a friend but"

"You didn't tell your dad it was me, did you?" Lisa asked with a moan.

"No, I didn't."

"Ugh! Sesshomaru! Your dad is going to kick my ass!" Lisa whined.

"I offered. This was my idea." Sesshomaru reassured her, handing her the papers and pen.

"That doesn't mean he won't cook up some explanation like, "Oh, Lisa must've seduced him," or "That damn Lisa must've promised him hot animal sex," or,"

"I get it. Look, he can't do anything about it. Let him bitch and moan about it." Sesshomaru said.

"Well, he used to love me, until I turned thirteen and started reminding him of your mom." Lisa grumbled. Sesshomaru flinched.

"Did he say that to you?" he asked with disbelief.

"Yes. You'd be surprised at half of the things he says to me." Lisa said with hurt in her voice.

"That miserable bastard. I'm sorry." Sesshomaru said, stroking his long white hair with annoyance.

"It's cool. Once he started talking to me like that, game on, two can play." Lisa said with a smile as she handed the clerk the papers and pen.

"It's still wrong." Sesshomaru said.

"But by doing so, he opened the doors for my mouth. We're even all the time." Lisa said, getting up and walking out with Sesshomaru following.

"Well, after he hears about this, you'll be in the lead."

"Hahaha, good! Oh, my mom says "Hi" by the way. She thinks you and I should get married and have like, ten kids." Lisa said.

"Tell your mom I said hello and not in a million years." Sesshomaru replied.


	3. Chapter 3

Game Night

Lisa and Sesshomaru moved in as soon as possible and decorated the condo as they pleased. Lisa put her big screen TV in the living room with surround sound, insisting it was very necessary.

"Necessary for what, might I ask?" Sesshomaru asked as he sat down on the couch.

"Game Night!" Lisa replied with a smile as she pulled out the Xbox 360, PS3 and N64.

"You still have the Nintendo 64? Come on now, Lisa. Get with the times." Sesshomaru laughed.

"Hey, N64 kicks ass! Especially Super Smash Bros!" Lisa argued as she began hooking the systems up.

"If you and I are going to live together, we need rules." Sesshomaru insisted.

"Damn, you're such a party crasher, Sesshomaru." Lisa grumbled as she sat on the couch next to him.

"It's just some basic, common courtesy rules, such as no partying after nine at night." Sesshomaru said. Lisa frowned.

"Game Night is called Game Night for a reason. Not Game Morning, or Game Noon, Game _Night_! We play games all night on Saturday." Lisa insisted.

"Fine, Saturday will be my only exception." Sesshomaru said.

"Ok, and if you're going to have lady friends over, at least let me turn on some music so I don't hear the thumping." Lisa added.

"Haha, ok, same with you. Anything else?"

"Yeah, warn me when your dad is coming over so I can get the hell out." Lisa said.

"Well…he's coming tonight."

"Son of a bitch. Oh well, Game Night will live on!" Lisa hollered, returning to hooking up her games.

"Lisa, can I ask you something?" Sesshomaru asked as he flipped open a book.

"Yeah…what is it?" she asked, reaching behind the TV to hook up some cords.

"Do you have anything against my mother?" he asked without looking up from his book.

"No…your mom…is pretty bad ass." Lisa replied as she pulled her arm out and sat the games under the stand on which the large TV sat. She grabbed the remote and changed the channel, switching on the game systems and making sure they worked.

"I'm proud to say that I've only witnessed one of these horrid Game Nights of yours and all four of you and your friends are utterly terrible to one another. Have any of you matured since then or is my father's first impression already shot to Hell?" Sesshomaru asked, turning the page in his book, still not looking up.

"We're actually pretty entertaining if you give us a chance." Lisa corrected, turning the TV back on to a random show and setting the remote on the floor. She yawned and got up, walking into the kitchen. She pulled open the fridge and yanked out a Mountain Dew can along with some chips from the top of the fridge. Lisa walked in and sat next to Sesshomaru, opening her drink and chips.

"What is this?" Sesshomaru asked, pointing to the TV. Lisa frowned and realized it was a soap opera.

"Ugh! My mom watches this bullshit! It's annoying!" Lisa grumbled, looking for the remote.

"You left it on the floor, genius." Sesshomaru said.

"I know where I left it, smart ass." Lisa growled, standing up and grabbing the remote before sitting back down and channel surfing. Finally, she found the movie "The Strangers."

"Oh wow…I really suck at choosing a channel, don't I?" Lisa asked. Sesshomaru snatched the remote from her hand and pressed three random numbers. He ended up landing on the porn channels.

"Hahahahaha! You suck worse than I do!" Lisa laughed.

"It's not even playing anything so I don't know what you're talking about." Sesshomaru pointed out coolly.

"No, but the title, 'Flirt and Squirt' doesn't really help you there, pervert. Hahaha, try another one." Lisa giggled. Sesshomaru exhaled and decided not to try anything beginning with a '4' and pressed another random three numbers. It landed on the Colbert Report, Lisa's favorite show. She stared at him coldly.

"I hate you." She grumbled, digging into her chips.

"I know." Sesshomaru replied.

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At seven, Sesshomaru was in his bedroom, getting dressed when he heard obnoxious pounding on the door.

"LIIIIIISSSSSAAAAAA!" a guy sang loudly and quite creepy-like.

"Lisa! Open up, hoe!" a girl screamed.

"Yooohoooo!" another guy called. Sesshomaru recognized that one as Max. He hurriedly buttoned up his white shirt and walked to the door, opening it.

"Lisa…oh…you're not Lisa." A guy with semi-long brown hair said. His brown eyes narrowed at Sesshomaru suspiciously.

"No, I'm not." Sesshomaru replied.

"Haha…I think we'll walk away now." The girl with straight, black hair said sheepishly.

"Oh, you guys are pussies! Hey, Sessh, is Lisa here?" Max asked with his hands stuffed in his light blue jeans. Sesshomaru exhaled and turned around.

"Lisa! The Peanut Gallery has arrived!" Sesshomaru called.

"I'm coming, bitch!" Lisa yelled, coming out from the hallway and letting her friends in. They all immediately ran to the big couch, awaiting their hostess. Sesshomaru grabbed Lisa by the arm and led her back into his bedroom.

"Uh oh!" Max called out teasingly.

"Still not done?" the girl added with a laugh, giving Max a high-five. Sesshomaru shut his door and turned around.

"Please, get them to tone it down a bit. My dad already hates you, let's not make it worse." Sesshomaru pleaded.

"Hey, we will be playing games and not paying attention to you and Daddy." Lisa reassured him.

"Well, my brother and his friends are coming too." Sesshomaru said irritably.

"You did tell your dad that I had friends over too, right?"

"Maybe…not."

"Well, that's your problem, home slice."

"As long as you guys keep to the games, everything should turn out fine."

"We will keep to the games, I promise. That's why it's called Game Night."

"Ok."

"Alright."

"LEDGE NAZI! STOP BANGING HIM AND GET OUT HERE!" the other guy hollered.

"Ledge Nazi?" Sesshomaru asked.

"That's my nickname." Lisa said, walking out and into the living room. She turned the TV on and turned to her friends.

"What first?" she asked them.

"N64 for sure!" Max said.

"Hell yeah!" the girl chirped

"I'm down." The other guy replied.

"Smash Bros?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah!" they all replied. Lisa turned it on and hooked up the controllers, handing them off to each of her friends. She sat in the middle of Max and the boy.

"Max, move over man, I'm smashed." Lisa said.

"Ok, if Ashley would move." Max whined.

"Alright, James, you move over a bit." Lisa said.

"Yeah, I'll move right off the couch." James replied with a grin. Lisa pushed him as he moved.

When they all got adjusted, they chose their characters. Lisa always chose Pikachu with the red party hat, but they didn't call her "Ledge Nazi" for the hell of it. Max chose the green Kirby, therefore inheriting the great nickname, "The Hulk's Left Nut." Ashley chose Captain Falcon, and she always talked about America being the greatest country, so, she became "Captain America." Last, but certainly not least, was James. He always chose Donkey Kong, but he was the most entertaining of all of them, earning his nickname of "El Dopa."

"Alright, we have our people, let's kick some asssssss!" James shouted. Lisa was the first person to knock someone out of the arena completely.

"Hahaha, ooohhhh! Lisa just beat your ass, Maxie!" James laughed, but he soon stopped as Lisa knocked him out too.

"Whaaaaat? That's some bullshit! How does a Pikachu with a stupid party hat knock DK out like that?" James yelled.

"Because an idiot controls DK, Jamie!" Max teased.

"Don't call me Jamie!" James yelled.

"I call you whatever I want, ass!" Max yelled as his Kirby started smashing DK. James got pissed and his DK started smashing Kirby, while Captain Falcon and Party Pikachu were out battling each other. Pikachu ran to a wooden crate, smashing it open, revealing the Homerun Bat.

"Baseball bat!" Lisa shouted, grabbing it. Her Pikachu swung it around, instantly knocking her other three opponents out of the arena.

"Ahhhh! Damn!" Ashley hissed.

"It's over! It's over!" James sighed.

"Yep, once Lisa gets that bat, I don't care who you are, you're one hundred percent fucked." Max explained. He looked up and frowned.

"Lisa, I think someone is knocking at the door." Max said.

"Let Sesshomaru get it." She said back. Just as that sentence left her mouth, Sesshomaru came forcefully striding out of his room.

"What? Am I the door greeter all of a sudden?" he asked Lisa heatedly.

"No, but that is one bad ass nickname for you! Haha!" James laughed as the rest of the crew added in their laughs. Sesshomaru ignored him as he opened the door. Lisa huffed as Inutaisho walked in, along with his youngest son, Inuyasha, Inuyasha's girlfriend, Kikyo, his other friend Miroku, and _his_ girlfriend, Sango.

"Damn…who _didn't_ come over?" Lisa mumbled.

"Fucking A! I'm surprised their dog didn't come over either!" Max commented. Inutaisho walked in, looking around and looking impressed…until he saw Lisa and her crew.

"Oh, I didn't know you were here, Lisa." Inutaisho said.

"Well, yeah, I kind of live here too." Lisa said back.

"Come on, un-pause it!" James urged. Lisa huffed and pressed start, resuming their match. Inuyasha and his crew walked in front of the TV, causing Lisa to fall off the edge and lose her first life.

"Awwww shiiiiit!" Lisa yelled.

"Goddamn it!" Max yelled as he fell.

After a while, the loser of the match by one, James, had to get up and switch the game from Smash Bros to Mario Kart.

"Oh dude, it's been forever since I've played this!" Ashley said.

"Haha, then you should be an easy target!" James laughed.

"Shut up James, before I castrate you!" Ashley shouted.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey! There is no reason to be talking like that!" Inutaisho called from the kitchen. Ashley turned to him in a heartbeat.

"I'm 18 and I couldn't give a damn!" she snapped back.

"Hey! Don't you talk to my dad like that!" Inuyasha shouted at Ashley.

"Shut up before I beat your ass, dickface!" Ashley hollered back. Kikyo stood up.

"Do you want to repeat that?" she asked dangerously. Ashley stood up.

"Do you want some of this, cunt? I've got plenty!" Ashley called. Lisa stood between.

"Look, Kinky Hoe, sit back down and play with your boyfriend and we'll play our games." Lisa said sternly.

"You can't tell me what to do!" Kikyo said with a cocky motion to her head. Lisa grabbed her by the shirt, causing everyone to stand up, glaring at each other.

"This is my place, bitch and I will tell you what I please. Now, sit the fuck down before I get really pissed." Lisa said angrily, letting go of Kikyo, who ran to Inuyasha, crying falsely. Everyone sat down slowly, still glaring.

"You got lucky bitch." Max said, holding his cross necklace.

"That's only the second time I've seen someone cross Ashley _and_ Lisa without getting hurt." James added in. Sesshomaru walked up and exhaled.

"Lisa, get in control!" he hissed.

"I don't know where you were, but Lisa just controlled everything perfectly fine! Go yell at your deranged family instead, or put them on a leash or something…they're wild animals." Max commented as he picked up his controller.

Sesshomaru and his father talked about business most of the time, while Lisa and her crew played Mario Kart.

"Damn Lisa…Yoshi is annoying!" James shouted.

"Coming from somebody who picked Peach in the pink car! Shut up, drag queen!" Lisa snapped back.

"I know but Yoshi on turbo? Fuck, kill him!" Ashley added.

"Hahaha! He's all like…reerooreerooreerooreerooreeroo!" Max imitated loudly, causing Lisa to laugh as her character fell into the frozen waters.

"Hahaha…damn!" Lisa said.

"How do you drive into water like that?" James asked, only for his driver, Toad, to run into a penguin on the course and get pushed into the water.

"What?" James shouted.

"At least I didn't run into a fucking penguin!" Lisa laughed as she got behind Ashely.

"Why'd you choose Bowser?" Max asked Ashely.

"He's invincible." Ashley replied. Lisa got the star that made her person invincible.

"Out of my way, bitch!" Lisa called, blowing Bowser sky high.

"Ugh! Skank!" Ashley hollered.

"She is." Kikyo said.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I tell you to breathe my way?" Lisa asked sharply.

"Oh, she's pissed again!" James said, his voice squeaking Toad almost hit another penguin.

"I'll breathe wherever I want, bitch!" Kikyo snapped.

"Oh hell no!" Max commented. Lisa paused the game and looked at Kiyo, smiling.

"Ha ha ha…you know, when I woke up this morning…I didn't want to be a jack ass. You just pressed my jackass button." Lisa said, standing up. Sesshomaru pushed her back down and walked over to Inuyasha.

"Get out." He said simply. Inuyasha stood up, his black hair waving in motion.

"You can't kick me out!" he argued.

"I pay, she pays, we both pay, we both own, therefore I own, therefore I said get out…now." Sesshomaru explained sharply.

"Whatever, I didn't even want to come." Inuyasha growled.

"You totally did or you wouldn't have come!" Lisa called.

"Shut the fuck up, Lisa! I never liked you!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Which is why I found a picture of me in your room last month, you dirty hobo! Get the fuck out!" Lisa said as her friends began laughing. Kikyo began yelling at Inuyasha as she and he left. Sango and Miroku stood up, but Sesshomaru held his hand up.

"I told _him_ to get out, you can stay." Sesshomaru said, walking back over to his father.

"Yeah, who wants a drink?" Lisa asked. Everyone's hands shot up.

"Damn, don't be shy." She said, leading everyone into the kitchen.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000

After everyone left, Sesshomaru went to bed. He stared at his ceiling, halfway covered up with his blankets. He yawned countless times, but he couldn't sleep. He heard a thump and the TV in the front room. It was probably a violent show, knowing Lisa.

"Ugh, damn, I can't sleep." Sesshomaru said, getting up and walking out into the front room. There was Lisa, sprawled out on the couch with a thin blanket barely covering her. The remote was on the floor, next to her hand. Sesshomaru picked the remote up and began poking Lisa's face with it.

"Lisa…wake up." He said. Lisa twitched as she awoke, sitting up quickly and rubbing her eyes.

"Mmmm…I wasn't asleep, I promise." She said with a loud yawn.

"Uh huh." Sesshomaru replied, sitting down and propping his legs up on the coffee table. Lisa yawned before propping her feet up as well.

"So…what's your dad think of me now?" she asked.

"He's impressed with the decoration, but he thinks you're throwing your life down the drain."

"Because I'm going to college. College really means, "Place to throw your life." I looked it up in Webster's Dictionary."

"I'm surprised he hasn't fired you."

"I haven't given him a reason to…yet."

"Lisa, don't do,"

"I won't…intentionally."

"Ha, you worry me, sometimes. I honestly thought you were going to hit Kikyo."

"I was, until you stepped in."

"Sorry?"

"It's a good thing. I'm 18, she's 15, I could be thrown in jail."

"You actually thought that through?"

"I knew it when I stood up to kick her ass."

"You're weird."

"You're hairy." Lisa shot back while pulling on a few long white strands of his hair.

"At least it's nicely kept."

"Yes, unlike your close cousin, the Neanderthal, your hairiness is clean."

"You really need to lay off the Discovery Channel."

"You really need a haircut."

"Good night." Sesshomaru said, suddenly feeling tired of arguing.

"You're welcome." Lisa called out.


	4. Chapter 4

Enter: Dee Donk

Sesshomaru yawned as he stretched, walking out of his room and into the living room, where once again, Lisa was passed out on the couch with empty Mountain Dew cans on the table, PS3 controller on her chest, cell phone in her hand, and blanket kicked off of her.

"Quite the slob, aren't we?" Sesshomaru exhaled to himself as he filled the coffee pot up with water. He heard a loud yawn as Lisa sat up, her black, shoulder length, layered hair flying every which way. She rubbed her neck and stood up, groaning as her joints snapped.

"Getting old?" Sesshomaru asked. Lisa's deep blue eyes searched him out. She smiled while stifling another yawn.

"At least I look my age. You look at least thirty." She accused, picking up her trash. She walked into the kitchen and threw her stuff away, opening the fridge. She pulled out the milk and grabbed he box of Lucky Charms.

"Hahaha, you're such a child." Sesshomaru said, shaking his head. Lisa poured the cereal into a bowl, then adding the milk.

"I can only hope it brings me some luck." Lisa replied, taking a bite.

"I don't believe in luck." Sesshomaru replied.

"Nor do you believe that your mom and dad had sex to create you, but it happened."

"How do you know that my parents had sex? My dad's sperm could've been placed in an egg, then placed that in her."

"As if your dad would go through all that trouble."

"You're right." Sesshomaru replied. A short silence followed.

"If I'm going to do anything, I'm going to do it the easy way." Sesshomaru and Lisa chanted simultaneously. They both laughed for a minute.

"God, and your dad says I'm ruined? At least I do things efficiently." Lisa argued.

"I know, but I can't really control him, though."

"No, but you can at least give me better hours! It's Sunday, damn it!" Lisa growled, setting her empty bowl in the sink and walking to her bedroom. Sesshomaru sighed and realized she was right. He was her boss more than half of the time.

After he drank his coffee, Lisa came out of her bedroom, dressed up nicely for work.

"Have a good day." Sesshomaru called.

"Yeah, you too." She said back, opening the door and leaving. Sesshomaru sighed as he turned on the TV, wondering what he should do on his day off and while Lisa was gone. Then, an idea popped in his head.

"She said she wanted a guinea pig, I guess I'll get one." He mumbled to himself. Hell, he had nothing else to do. Sesshomaru showered and got dressed, grabbing his keys and phone before leaving. He took the elevator down and walked out to his car. He noticed his Escalade was gone, but Lisa's Hummer 3 was there. His phone vibrated as he answered it.

"Lisa, where's my Escalade?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Hahaha, I grabbed the wrong keys and I didn't feel like correcting my mistake. Sorry, but hey, my H3 drives pretty smooth."

"I'm not mad, I was just wondering. Now, why were you calling?"

"To tell you I grabbed the wrong keys."

"Oh…thanks."

"Your welcome? Well, I have to go, it's Dickhead Daddy Day." Lisa grumbled, clicking the phone off. Sesshomaru unlocked the H3 and got in, starting up the engine.

'Buy cars (Get crunk) Take shots (Get crunk) Have sex (Get crunk) Spend money (Get crunk)!' Sesshomaru turned the volume off, frowning.

"What does that girl listen to?" Sesshomaru asked, backing out quickly and speeding off to the pet store. He pulled into the pet store parking lot and got out, locking the doors.

"Hm…this thing does drive pretty smoothly." Sesshomaru commented as he walked inside. The scent of pet store entered his nose as he walked back to the small creatures section.

"Can I help you?" a young woman asked him.

"No thanks, I'm just looking." He replied. The lady nodded and walked away. Sesshomaru found the guinea pigs and exhaled slowly. He knew he should get a baby guinea pig. Lisa would flip if he got an old, ready to die one. He saw plenty of small ones, rustling about in the cage, but when he took a step forward, they all scrambled and hid underneath tunnels.

"Why would Lisa want a guinea pig? Such skittish creatures." Sesshomaru mumbled. He saw a spiked, black baby guinea pig sitting in the corner, uncaring about Sesshomaru's presence. He smirked.

"That one, definitely." He said. Sesshomaru looked for a cage next. He sighed when he realized that there was a huge turquoise one. He could hear Lisa complaining now. Why not black? Or red? Or some other manly color?

"She can suck it, I'm being too nice as it is." Sesshomaru mumbled, walking off to find someone to fetch the cage and guinea pig for him. He found the woman from earlier and walked up to her.

"Excuse me? I'm buying a guinea pig and a cage, can you help?" he asked politely.

"Oh, yes, sure." She said, walking over to the guinea pigs. Once again, they all scattered like criminals run when the cops show up.

"Which one?" she asked nervously. Sesshomaru saw the black one still in the corner. Sesshomaru noticed that it had dark brown tipped on its spikes.

"That one. It seems pretty aloof." Sesshomaru pointed out.

"Yeah, he's my favorite."

"Did you name him?"

"Yes, why?"

"I'm buying him for a friend who is going to name him something…awkward."

"Hahaha, I named him Rick. I don't know why, but it sounded good."

"Anything would sound better than Dee Donk."

"Oh! Hahahaha! That's…imaginative!"

"Don't lie, it makes your spine cringe, doesn't it?" Sesshomaru asked as the lady got someone else to pick up the cage and bring it to the front. She got a towel and a box, placing the little critter inside of it. She priced everything up and Sesshomaru sighed, almost one hundred dollars.

"Damn, she had better worship the ground on which I walk after this." Sesshomaru said. Money wasn't the problem, it was all for a cage and a guinea pig.

"I'm sure your friend will be very happy. You seem like a sweet enough guy."

"Only on Sundays." Sesshomaru retorted, noticing the little critter had to have something to play with.

"Actually, I want to buy Rick a few more things." Sesshomaru said.

"Name them and Joe can go get them." The lady said, pointing at the guy who carried the cage.

"I suppose I can get him a bell to ring when he's hungry, a food bowl, a water bottle and…one of those igloo things to hide in." Sesshomaru listed. Joe nodded and jogged off quickly. Sesshomaru looked down in the box where Rick, soon to be Dee Donk, was shaking nervously. Sesshomaru pet him lightly.

"Don't worry, you have nothing to be afraid of…yet." Sesshomaru said, making the lady laugh once more.

"You're so funny!" she giggled.

"No, I'm just telling the truth. Now, my friend, she's funny." Sesshomaru corrected. Joe came back and scanned the things.

"One hundred-five even." Joe said as Sesshomaru filled in the rest of the check. He handed it to Joe, who handed it to the lady.

"Here, I'll help you sir." Joe said.

"Will you need bedding?" the lady asked quickly. Sesshomaru looked up as if praying.

"Damn…yes." He moaned. The lady ran off quickly and came back with a heavy bag.

"Here!" she said, handing it to Joe.

"How much?" Sesshomaru asked, reaching for his wallet.

"On the house." She said.

"No, I have money. Let me pay." Sesshomaru insisted, but the woman wouldn't give.

"Nope. I won't let you. I have plenty of money too."

"I know but…ok." Sesshomaru cut off, grabbing the guinea pig and the other things while Joe and the woman carried the bedding and cage. He unlocked the H3, telling them to put the stuff in back and he would keep Rick, Dee Donk, whatever the hell his name was, in front.

"Have a nice day, sir!" the woman called.

"You too. Thanks." Sesshomaru said, starting the car and backing out. As he was driving, he would eventually look down at the guinea pig, making sure it wasn't going to make its grand escape into his lap or anything, but the small animal stayed.

"I hope she likes you." He said, pulling into the parking lot and realizing he needed help carrying things. He picked up the guinea pig and ran up to the clerk.

"I need help." He said to the same clerk who witnessed Lisa's wanting of a guinea pig. The clerk smiled as he walked out from behind the counter.

"Coming." He said with a chuckle. Sesshomaru almost punched the guy out, but he couldn't, he was holding the guinea pig. The clerk put the bag of bedding inside the cage and pulled it out with some ease. Sesshomaru grabbed the other things, closing the doors and locking it. He and the clerk caught the elevator up with an older woman, who kept staring at Sesshomaru.

"Gift?" she asked, pointing at the guinea pig that hugged Sesshomaru's shoulder with its head.

"Yes." He replied.

"Tch…newlyweds." She mumbled. Sesshomaru exhaled.

"We're not married." He replied, showing her his ring-less left hand. He heard the small critter's quiet chirping in his ear. The little guy was pretty fluffy.

"So, you moved in together but you're not married?" she asked.

"Yes, we're only roommates, best friends, nothing more." He said.

"For now." She giggled, walking off on her floor.

"Don't worry, she won't bother you." The clerk said to Sesshomaru.

"Did you think she and I were married?" he asked the clerk who shrugged.

"At first, until I heard how you guys talk, then I realized that you're just good friends."

"Are you telling the truth or just working for a tip?"

"Which do you want it to be?" the clerk replied with a smile as the doors opened to their floor. Sesshomaru walked to his door and unlocked it, walking inside and telling the clerk to set it wherever. Sesshomaru set the guinea pig back in the box, reaching for his wallet. He pulled out a hundred dollar bill and handed it to the guy whose eyes opened wide.

"H…how often do you buy pets, sir?" he asked, walking out.

"Not again until this one dies." Sesshomaru retorted, closing the door.

"Now, where should I put you, little one?" Sesshomaru asked as the critter sat still in the box.

"I would put you in her room, but as of right now, she spends more time in the living room than her own room, so you may be quite lonely in there…living room it is." Sesshomaru said, picking up the cage and moving over to the space in between the two couches. He sat it on the table in there and stood on the couch to pull out the bag of bedding. Sesshomaru grabbed the box with the guinea pig and placed it on the floor so it wouldn't get hurt. Next, he poured some bedding into the cage and placed the igloo inside, along with the bell and water bottle on the side of the cage and the food bowl on the floor of the cage.

"Here you go." Sesshomaru said, placing him inside where the guinea pig slowly walked to the water bottle and began drinking from it. Sesshomaru then stretched out on the couch and smiled. No wonder Lisa always fell asleep on here, it was comfortable. Sesshomaru yawned and clicked on the TV, mindlessly flipping through the channels. He soon fell asleep from boredom.

Lisa walked in the door and stumbled into the kitchen to grab her daily Mountain Dew. She frowned when she realized they were all out.

"Damn, hey Sesshomaru, I…huh?" Lisa asked, seeing Sesshomaru out cold on the couch. She looked up and saw a turquoise cage.

"Noooo…way" She said with disbelief, slowly walking out of the kitchen and into the living room. She crept up to the cage and peered in, seeing the silhouette of a critter inside the igloo.

"Hello, little fella." Lisa whispered, opening the side door of the cage and reaching inside, pulling the guinea pig out. The animal squeaked with fear, but Lisa held him on her chest and pet it gently.

"Awww, you're cute." She whispered, walking over to the recliner chair and settling down in it quietly. The guinea pig squeaked quietly without stopping, almost like he was talking about something sad. She stroked the guinea pig that was barely bigger than her hand as she grabbed the remote from the sleeping Sesshomaru's chest and began switching the channels, still nuzzling the pig on her shoulder.

"Mmm…do you like him?" Sesshomaru asked with a yawn.

"Uh huh, he's cute." Lisa chirped, setting him in her lap and petting him.

"Please, don't name him Dee Donk." Sesshomaru groaned, trying to sit up.

"Why not? It's epic and imaginative." Lisa argued.

"It's intensely weird and it makes my spine cringe."

"Then why wouldn't I name him Dee Donk?"

"Because you love me like a brother and would never do that."

"Way wrong answer. If you were my bro, I'd go out of my way to torture you."

"Like you are now?"

"Sort of." Lisa said, walking over to the cage and placing him inside. She turned around and walked into the kitchen with Sesshomaru, hugging him tightly around the waist.

"Uh…" Sesshomaru said, patting Lisa's head lightly. He wasn't much for hugs, even Lisa. She looked up and smiled.

"Thank you."

"Couldn't you have said that without the hug?"

"Ugh, you're such a cunt flap! I'm trying to be nice!" Lisa growled.

"I understand that, but you know I don't like hugs."

"But I do, jerk!"

"I can't ever please you, can I?"

"You do, but it's just a hug! One! And no one is around!" Lisa said with hurt audible in her voice as she stepped back. Sesshomaru felt bad…for once.

_'Oops. I suppose my mom is right…I have no charm with women, or any gender.' _Sesshomaru thought as Lisa walked to her room and shut the door. Sesshomaru exhaled. He blew that one sky high. Just as that thought left his mind, his phone vibrated. He pulled it out of his pocket and sighed.

"Yes, Dad?" he asked with slight annoyance.

"You don't sound very happy. Did Lisa say something to you? I told you she was trouble and,"

"Shut up! What do you want?" Sesshomaru snapped irritably. There was a short silence on the other end.

"I wanted you to tell Lisa that she has an early shift tomorrow and,"

"No she doesn't, I scheduled her next work day for Tuesday."

"Well, I moved it back to early Monday."

"Dad, honestly, do you want her to get so pissed off that she won't even talk to me? She's already irritable."

"No, I just changed her schedule a bit. I saw what she does with her Saturdays and I think she could use them a little more efficiently."

"Too bad she's had Game Night since she was 13, every Saturday. It's part of her life."

"Well, I think she could use some tough love, don't you?"

"No."

"Of course not, you're her friend. Look I'm just trying," but Sesshomaru couldn't hear the rest because Lisa had walked out and snatched the phone from Sesshomaru's hand and placed it up to her ear.

"to be an adult about it. Tell her she is coming in at five, no excuses." Inutaisho finished.

"Suck…my…cock! I am NOT coming in at five! I always have Mondays off! Always! For the two years I have worked for you, shithead, it's always been Monday!"

"Put my son back on the phone, you crazy bitch." Inutaisho growled, but Lisa clicked him off and took the back of Sesshomaru's phone off, turning it off completely.

"I'm not going in at five." She said slowly.

"Understandable. Ugh, doesn't he have anything better to do?" Sesshomaru groaned.

"Apparently not. I can only wait until classes start in a couple of months." Lisa said. Sesshomaru shook his head and gave her half of a hug.

"Sorry." He grumbled quietly.

"It's all cool. I heard you defending me, so I'm not mad." Lisa said.

"Great. So, are you hungry?"

"Hell yeah! I'm cooking!" Lisa insisted, pulling out random ingredients and deciding on what to cook.

"Hm, how about breakfast?" Sesshomaru said, throwing out a random idea.

"Pancakes!" Lisa decided, pulling out what she needed while Sesshomaru put back what wasn't needed.

"What about Dee Donk? Has he been fed?" Lisa asked, pulling out the bag of carrots.

"No."

"Then, give him a carrot." Lisa said, handing Sesshomaru the vegetable. He walked out and fed it to Dee Donk, who seemed a little hesitant, but he soon bit into it and started eating.

Sesshomaru and Lisa plopped on the couch with their pancakes. Lisa almost lost her chocolate milk through her nose.

"What?" Sesshomaru asked.

"I have a feeling that if we plop down like this again, the couch will break." Lisa said.

"Leave it to you to even think of that."

"It's happened to me before, that's why I thought I would throw it out there."

"Of course it's happened to you before, you're Lisa."

"Shut up." Lisa mumbled, grabbing the remote. She turned it to Spike TV and almost had a seizure.

"Ahhhhhh! MXC! Dude I haven't watched this in foreverrrrrr!" Lisa hollered, causing Dee Donk to scatter in his cage.

"Isn't this a rip-off of a famous Japanese game show?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Trust me, Vic and Kenny are not rip-offs! MXC is kick ass! Haha, there is nothing more entertaining than watching a bunch of Japanese people getting whacked in the face with balls, or falling off poles, or tripping in the mud, or slipping off logs! This is pure American entertainment." Lisa explained, as one Japanese lady got smashed in the face by a ball.

"I am Japanese, you remember this, right?" Sesshomaru asked. Even he wasn't able to hide a smile as a man took a hard face dive into the mud.

"Yeah, but I don't see you dressed up in crazy costumes and running across giant, spinning logs only to fall into dirty water." Lisa said, inhaling the rest of her pancakes.

"True. So, are you going to go in early?"

"Nope. I've never taken a day off or called in sick, so I've accumulated plenty of free days in the two years I've worked my ass off for him. I'll just call in sick or something."

"There is a first for everything I suppose." Sesshomaru replied, setting his plate on the table and leaning back on the couch. Lisa yawned and set her plate down too.

"I guess." She said, grabbing a pillow.

After a few hours, Sesshomaru turned the TV off and woke Lisa up.

"What?" she grumbled.

"Sleep in your bed tonight. You'll feel less cranky in the morning."

"Mmm…yes, Mother." Lisa shot grumpily, stalking down the hallway and walking into her room, quietly closing the door. Sesshomaru closed his own door and collapsed on his bed, soon falling asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

How Big A Boy Are Ya?

Sesshomaru was dressed and was reading the newspaper on the couch with a cup of coffee. Lisa walked out in a bathing suit with a beach towel and sunscreen.

"Haha, I'm going to the beach. I'm whiter than milk." She said, grabbing her cell phone and beach bag. Sesshomaru checked her out and frowned.

"You're not that pale. You look borderline Mexican to me." He said.

"You're out of your mind, I'm more…white." She argued, turning around and leaving the condo. Sesshomaru shook his head with disbelief. Lisa clicked her phone on and sighed.

"Hello?" she asked, pressing a button on the elevator.

"Heeeeeeey Lisa!" Max sang loudly. Lisa cowered slightly as a few people on the elevator looked at her. She smiled and shrugged.

"What do you want?" she asked Max quickly.

"Well, I have today off and I was wondering if I could hang with you, I mean, unless you're hanging with Sesshomaru?" Max asked.

"He has to work in an hour, so you can come over. I'll be on the beach, so come prepared."

"Oh, ok. I'll be there shortly. Bye." Max said quickly, hanging up. Lisa walked through the pool area and nodded in approval. One huge pool with two islands with waterfalls on them inside glimmered in the bright sunlight.

"Huh, that's pretty neat." Lisa said, opening the gate and walking out onto the beach. She found a chair with an umbrella next to it and laid her towel on it, putting sunscreen on. She sat in the chair and exhaled, letting the warm rays of the sun strike her.

Sesshomaru pulled his cell phone out of his pocket when it began ringing. He frowned when it was an unknown number, but he answered it anyway.

"Hello?" he asked, standing up slowly.

"Hey Sesshomaru, it's Katie…from work?" she asked. Sesshomaru frowned while frantically trying to remember when he gave his number to Katie, AKA Lisa's Number One on Lisa's Hit List of Doom.

"Not to be rude or anything, but when did I give you my number?" he asked suspiciously, already knowing the answer.

"Oh, well, never. Your dad gave it to me. He said he thinks you need more friends." She said happily. Sesshomaru felt his mouth drop open with disbelief and anger.

"I do not. I have the exact number of friends that I want." Sesshomaru said.

"Well, I don't mean to be rude, but I think _one_ more won't kill you." Katie said back.

"No, but talking to _you_ will get me killed eventually. Nothing against you, but don't call me again." Sesshomaru said sternly.

"Ooooohhhhh, you're so worried about Lisa, aren't you? Look, she would never hurt you. I may hate her, but I know that she loves her friends no matter what." Katied cooed softly.

"I'm being serious, don't call me." Sesshomaru growled, clicking her off.

"I hate people who can't take "no" as an answer." He mumbled, grabbing his keys and leaving for work. He called up Lisa and decided to alert her of his dad's new plan.

"Holla at ya girl." Lisa said lazily.

"Guess who just called me?" Sesshomaru asked, pressing the button for the elevator.

"I despise guessing games." Lisa moaned.

"Katie Myers just called, saying that I need another friend." Sesshomaru explained, walking in the elevator. No one was in there. Good. He liked privacy.

"She did what? Haha, how'd she get your number, fool?" Lisa asked, no longer sounding tired.

"My dad gave it to her."

"I think Daddy wants some grandchildren to snack on." Lisa retorted with a laugh. Sesshomaru exhaled.

"It's…it's not funny." Sesshomaru said with a frown, but that made Lisa laugh harder. Go figure.

"I'm so sorry. I meant to tell you this a few weeks ago, but when she and I got into that fight, it wasn't _just_ about the shit I _allegedly_ said about her." Lisa said. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes as he left the elevator.

"What else was it about?" he asked, waving to the clerk, who smiled back.

"She uh, haha, she thought that when you offered to be her lab partner in Anatomy class that you were asking her out. I guess the question; "Want to be my lab partner?" translates to "Wanna fuck?" in her small, dumb brain. Anyway, she thought you two were dating for a while. So, when she saw you and I laughing and cutting up and having a good time with one another in Sociology, she got pissed and accused me of "stealing" you from her." Lisa explained. Sesshomaru could tell she was smiling from her tone. He didn't start his engine yet.

"Are you serious? I only asked her because Max was gone that day. If Max had been there instead of skipping, I would've been his lab partner, as always. Damn, I hate people who make ridiculous assumptions." Sesshomaru ranted heatedly, turning his car on. Lisa giggled and sighed.

"Oh, it gets better. Max, who has been training your wonderful Lab Partner For Life, has had to listen to her drool over you for the past week. Hahaha!"

"Drool? How so?"

"He said that she will stare at you when you aren't looking, make comments about how hot you are when naked, you know, simple things like that."

_"When has that bitch seen me naked?"_ Sesshomaru asked angrily through gritted teeth.

"I was going to ask you the same thing, but I forgot to. Anyway, she's just fantasizing, get over it."

"Easy for you to say."

"I know, but still. I can make her life a living Hell at work if you need me to."

"The last thing you need is to be in the top five of Inutaisho's Shit List."

"Hahaha, I think I'm number zero on that list. I come before all the others in his mind. I'm so elite that he doesn't even write my name on that list, he just remembers that I'm there."

"And I won't allow you to make matters worse, alright? I can take care of myself."

"I'm not taking care of you, I just have your back."

"I know. I appreciate it, but please, for my sanity, don't do anything."

"Ok, but only because you begged." Lisa retorted. Sesshomaru clicked her off and drove to work, dreading having to work with Katie.

"Hey sexy!" Max chimed as he found Lisa on the beach. He saw Lisa laughing as hard as her bathing suit would allow before she calmed down and motioned for him to sit next to her.

"Oh, Max, dude, Katie Myers called Sesshomaru and wanted to be friends! Hahahaha!" Lisa laughed. Max shed his shirt and sat down on his towel, laughing along with her.

"No way! Hahaha, looks like someone else is mowing your lawn, Lisa." Max said with a smile.

"I'm not dating him!" Lisa shot back with a smile.

"I'm just playing, calm down." Max said, relaxing on his towel.

A few hours later, Lisa declared that she was cooked enough and she and Max went back to her condo, trying to think of something to do. They both took showers, Lisa in her bathroom and Max in Sesshomaru's. After they were finished, they walked back out, still wondering what to do.

"Let's watch a movie." Max suggested as he dried his hair with a towel. Lisa sat down and checked her cell phone, one text message from Sesshomaru. She opened it and read it, smiling from ear to ear.

"What?"

"He said, "Help me!" Hahaha, ok, I have an idea." Lisa said.

"I'm up for anything." Max replied.

"Crank calls…to the corporation." Lisa said.

"Ahhh hahahahaha! Yesssssss! I've always wanted to do this!" Max cheered.

"Good, because you're doing it." Lisa said.

"Alright. I'm up!" Max said as Lisa picked up the phone and dialed a random number. She handed the phone and Max frowned.

"Should I do Ignorant Southerner or Clueless Asian?" Max asked quietly.

"Ignorant Southerner, hands down." Lisa voted. Max nodded as someone answered the phone.

"Hello, this is Emily, how may I help you?" a woman asked nicely. Max smiled widely.

"Yes, uh, my name is Bubba Smith and I was callin' y'all about these bills y'all sent me!" he said loudly with a perfect southern accent. Lisa laughed silently in front of him.

"Yes sir? Smith, was it?" Emily asked.

"Yessir."

"No, I'm a ma'am."

"…I know that." Max retorted sharply. He heard a loud exhale on the phone.

"Ok, sir, what were the bills for?" she asked, her kindness slipping.

"Well, one of them dang things was about some…teat reduction on a basset hound named Dolly and we ain't got no basset hound named Dolly!"

"Well, sir, I can't seem to find your name nor does it ring a bell with me, are you sure we sent you it?" Emily asked with another annoyed exhale.

"Yes I goddamn know so it was you who sent me them there bills! Is you callin' me stupid or somethin'?"

"No, sir I was,"

"Well you asked me if I was sure, and if I wasn't sure if it was you who sent me this, then I wouldn't be callin' now would I?"

"Sir, please calm down. I've checked everything and we,"

"Don't interrupt me while I'm talkin' ok? That's just rude."

"Oh my…do you want to know rude, sir? Look it up in the dictionary and your picture will be right next to it!"

"I wanna speak to your manager!" Max shouted.

"Ugh, FINE!" Emily shouted back. Max and Lisa snickered as they heard her talking to someone in the background. Max heard someone pick it up and exhale.

"Is there a problem, sir?" Sesshomaru asked sharply, sounding slightly ticked. Max smiled as he inhaled.

"Yes ma'am! Y'all sent me these bills saying that I gotta pay for a teat reduction on some basset hound named Dolly, and I ain't about to pay for them!"

"That's fine, sir, don't pay for them." Sesshomaru replied sternly as he slammed the phone down, cutting the phone call off.

"Hahahahaha! Damn! He's pissed!" Max laughed as Lisa wiped tears from her eyes.

"A teat reduction?" she asked, trying to catch her breath.

"Hey, I'm just improvising, give me some slack!" Max laughed as he dialed another number. The phone rang as Sesshomaru picked it up.

"Hello?" he asked tiredly.

"Uh, yeah, my name is Joe Carney and I was wonderin' if I could speak to your boss." Max asked slowly. There was a pause at the other end of the line.

"…May I ask with what company you are selling?" Sesshomaru asked.

"No, sir, I'm not sellin' nothin'." Max retorted.

"One minute please." Sesshomaru replied.

"Except maybe an ass whooping." Max commented as the call was being transferred.

"Hahahaha! Give him Hell!" Lisa laughed.

"You know it." Max said, sipping on some water.

"Hello, I'm Inutaisho, president of this company, how may I help you?" Inutaisho asked quickly and nicely.

"Yeah, I'm Joe Carney and I've got a bone to pick with you!" Max said loudly.

"…" Dead silence.

"My daughter, Latisha, was down there the other day, applyin' to work at your damn company, and she said that you said she couldn't work there because her butt wasn't big enough!" Max yelled with a heavy accent.

"N…no I would not do that, sir." Inutaisho replied clearly.

"Well, she said it was you and I don't know about you, but I'm ready to come down there and whoop your ass!" Max hollered.

"Well, sir, let's not go there. I would never say anything like that to a woman."

"Never to a woman? Does that mean you say that to men? You gay? I'll tell you what, I don't like no gay men tellin' my daughter that her butt ain't big enough! She came home and was cryin' and I asked her what's wrong and she told me that you said her butt wasn't big enough!" Max droned. Lisa had collapsed on the floor and was laughing silently.

"Look, I don't even know how she got my name, but I am NOT gay and I didn't say that to anyone!" Inutaisho growled. Max gave Lisa a thumbs up.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm comin' down there to whoop your ass! How long you goin' to be there?"

"I'm going to be here all day, sir."

"Yeah? How big a boy are ya?"

"Big enough to take care of this, that's for sure."

"Oh really? 'Cause I'm cartin' over a big barrel of ass whoop over there and pourin' it all over ya!" Max warned.

"Really now? Haha, well, like I said, I'll be waiting here all day for you." Inutaisho said.

"Uh huh, I'm comin'. It's goin' to be chitty, chitty, bang, bang all the way down there and I will be all over ya like a Texas dust storm!"

"Sure…whatever." Inutaisho growled, cutting the phone call off.

"Hahahahahahahahaha! I love you!" Lisa laughed as she got up from the floor.

"Hahaha, ok, I'm done! That was intense!" Max laughed as he cruised over to the couch.

"Hell yeah! I was hoping he wouldn't find out it was us!"

"Oh, man, if he did, we'd be as good as dead!" Max replied, smiling. Lisa held a finger up as she answered her phone.

"Hello?" she asked.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Sesshomaru roared angrily. Lisa held the phone a foot away from her ear, looking at Max worriedly. Max shrugged back silently.

"Wha…what're you talking about?" Lisa asked innocently.

"Don't play jackass with me, Lisa! I know that was you and Max!" Sesshomaru hollered.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on just a minute! Calm down, and tell me what happened!" Lisa shouted. She heard Sesshomaru exhale with annoyance.

"That phone call to my dad, that was you and Max and don't tell me otherwise, because I am one hundred and ten percent positive that it was you two!" Sesshomaru growled. Lisa smiled and shrugged.

"Alright, why did you transfer us over if you knew it was us?" Lisa asked sharply.

"Because I didn't figure it out until I had transferred it, Lisa." Sesshomaru said calmly. Lisa rolled her eyes and exhaled.

"Ok…what gave us away?" Lisa asked.

"You called the boss's number, asking for the boss. I didn't think about it until I had transferred it to my dad's phone…ten feet away." Sesshomaru said as a matter-of-factly.

"Shit. Max, you dumbass!" Lisa shouted.

"So…what are you going to do to prevent me from sharing with my dad that it was you two who called?" Sesshomaru asked slyly.

"Uh…what do you want?"

"A number of things." Sesshomaru replied.

"BJ BJ BJ!" Max called from the background.

"Shut up, Max! Well, I don't know what you want, Sesshomaru. I'll do anything for you not to snitch on me like a little PUSSY!" Lisa shouted.

"Haha, we'll talk about it when I get home. Good bye."

"SUCK MY COCK!" Max screamed in the phone loudly. Lisa clicked it off and sighed with annoyance.

"We have the brains of a four year old child." Lisa moaned.

"Yeah, we're idiots." Max agreed openly.


	6. Chapter 6

Bow Down

"No…fucking…way!" Lisa hissed as she quickly stood up from the couch. Sesshomaru remained seated, one leg crossed over the other and his arms were crossed as well. His usual, "Yes, I'm a prick," smile was carved into his face as he stared back at her.

"If you won't, then I have no choice but to tell my father." Sesshomaru teased. Max exhaled as he stood up from the chair.

"You're such a little bitch! Who runs to Daddy when their friends decide to play a little prank?" Max whined. Sesshomaru looked at Max angrily.

"You should see it from my view. Both of you overpower me at work and outside of work constantly, this is my little window of power, so I'm going to take full advantage of it. You call it snitching, I call it payback." Sesshomaru explained calmly, his irritating smile returning.

"Look, just punish me! It was my idea!" Lisa moaned with annoyance.

"But Max did all the talking." Sesshomaru replied.

"Is that the part where I'm supposed to give a damn?" Lisa asked sharply.

"That's up to you to care or not. Lisa, since we live together, you should be expecting a great amount of punishment whereas Max only has to worry about it at work." Sesshomaru explained. He heard her mumble something along the lines of "Miserable bastard," but he let that one slide.

"Fine! I'm out! Sorry, Lisa!" Max yelled as he headed for the door.

"It's all good, peace out." Lisa replied passively as she glared at Sesshomaru. When the door shut, Sesshomaru's smile widened.

"Oh, we're going to have so much fun that I can barely contain my excitement." Sesshomaru said.

"Ugh, good God, get on with it!" Lisa snarled with her arms crossed so tightly it looked like she was suffocating herself.

"Eager?" he asked.

"Eager to kick your ass." She replied back.

"First off, you can do the dishes." Sesshomaru ordered.

"Already did. There are none in the sink." Lisa replied with a small smile.

"Oh, good, well then, you can cook supper. Your fried chicken sounds really delicious right now." Sesshomaru suggested.

"Yeah, only because it's a mess and a half to clean up after cooking it!" Lisa shouted, walking into the kitchen and pulling out the ingredients. Sesshomaru stood up and leaned over the bar to watch her cook. She stopped collecting ingredients and sighed heavily.

"We're out of flour." She stated to Sesshomaru. He shrugged slightly with a smile on his face.

"Oh no. What are we to do?" he asked sarcastically. There was a silence between them as Lisa and Sesshomaru stared at one another.

"…You dickface! Where's the flour!" Lisa hollered.

"You won't get anywhere with me talking like that." Sesshomaru stated as he sat on the bar, leaning forward and propping his arms on his legs. Lisa felt her ears grow hot as she tried to remember where the butcher knife was.

"Please tell me where the flour is?" Lisa asked calmly. Sesshomaru clapped a few times.

"Good job. The answer to your question is…at the store." He answered slyly. Lisa felt her face drip to the floor.

"You've…you've got to be kidding me. We had a whole bag of flour, what happened to it?" she asked slowly. Sesshomaru shrugged.

"Maybe the ghost took it." He replied seriously. Lisa mumbled as she grabbed her keys, but Sesshomaru took them from her.

"I'll drive." He said.

"Why?"

"To prevent you from crashing into another car, instantly killing us both." He replied, walking out of the door. Lisa closed it behind her, walking down the walkway and stepping into the elevator. It was a quiet ride down, not tense, just quiet. Lisa repeatedly tapped her fingers on the railing of the elevator, staring at the door intensely.

"Calm down." Sesshomaru ordered. Lisa inhaled slowly. The doors of the elevator opened, revealing the last person needed to see at that particular moment. Katie Myers. Dressed up like she was going on a date. Lisa felt the breath she took disappear, almost like she was frozen.

"Oh, Katie, what a coincidence." Sesshomaru chirped with hinted sarcasm.

"Uh…you told me to come here." Katie said, obviously missing the joke. Lisa felt her grip on the elevator railing strengthen ten fold.

"Sure I did." Sesshomaru said quickly, breaking the tense silence. He walked off the elevator and turned back to Lisa, who was still giving the elevator railing intense Hell.

"Lisa, what are you doing?" Sesshomaru asked. Katie crossed her arms and sighed, almost like they had to go somewhere before the sunset or something. Lisa felt her eye twitch slightly.

"I…I think I'm going to go back up to the condo and lie down. I'm not feeling too well." Lisa said slowly. Sesshomaru put his hand on the elevator door to prevent them from closing.

"Come along, Lisa. I'm craving your chicken, whether you want to cook or not." Sesshomaru insisted, pulling Lisa out swiftly but gently. He felt how tense she was at holding back her fists, but said nothing.

"Fine." Lisa said sharply as she followed behind Sesshomaru and Katie. They all walked to Lisa's H3 and Lisa grabbed the passenger seat door.

"What do you think you're doing, bitch?" Katie asked. Lisa turned her head viciously, hair flying.

"The last time I checked, twat, this is my H3, therefore, I get passenger if Mr. Dickbag wants to drive!" Lisa shot back. Katie huffed.

"Lisa, get in back." Sesshomaru called from inside of the Hummer.

"What?" Lisa shouted.

"You heard him," Katie said with a sly smile, jumping in the seat and slamming the door. Lisa felt her heart pounding as she resisted opening the door and pulling Katie out by her hair and proceeding to furiously beat the living daylights out of her. Lisa got in back and put her seatbelt on, resisting the urge to rip Sesshomaru's long, pretty white hair out by the roots.

"Do you like Britney Spears?" Katie asked, whipping out a CD. Lisa would've gone through the roof if not for the seatbelt.

"I don't mind her." Sesshomaru replied, putting the CD in. Sesshomaru checked the rearview mirror and almost laughed when he saw Lisa's face. She was beyond pissed and she was white knuckling it with the seatbelt, holding on like they just flew off a bridge.

"You don't like Britney?" Sesshomaru asked Lisa with a grin.

"I…_hate_…Britney…fucking…Spears!" Lisa growled darkly through gritted teeth, pulling her cell phone out as it vibrated. She exhaled a little. It was James.

'Hey, Max told me what happened. You ok?' he texted.

'Hell to the fucking no! He's torturing the sanity out of me!' Lisa texted back.

'How bad? On a scale 1 through 10.'

'197'

'Oh damn. Max feels bad now.'

'It's my fault, but still, what he's doing is going way too far.'

'Wanna call me and talk about it?'

'I can't. I'm under supervision by Sesshomaru and Katie.'

'Katie Myers?!'

'Yep.'

'AHHHHHH! HOLY SHIT! AND THEY'RE STILL ALIVE?'

'Unfortunately.'

'Is there anything I can do?'

'Do you have any vicodin that I can mooch off of you?'

'Of course. When should I bring it?'

'Around 8. We should be back by then.'

'Lisa…it's only 5.'

'I guarantee that he will make us be there for 3 hours.'

'Ouch. Sorry buddy. Well, I'll bring you two whole bottles.'

'That'd be nice. Gotta go.' Lisa put her cell phone in her pocket and exhaled as 'Womanizer' ended. That was only number one out of fourteen.

"Damn, someone upstairs does not like me." Lisa moaned as the next song came on, louder than the last. They finally arrived at Walmart. Lisa felt her back cringe. It was so busy.

"Oh, can I go buy a CD?" Katie asked.

"Sure…Lisa's paying." Sesshomaru stated. Lisa's eyes closed as she prayed for the strength to not punch him out on the spot. Lisa grabbed a cart and walked off to go grab some flour, since that was the reason for going.

"No, torturing me is the reason. Not the stupid ass flour." Lisa mumbled as she put two bags of flour in the cart. Lisa walked into the soda isle, looking for Vault, Mountain Dew, anything to get her moving again in the morning.

"Lisa!" Ashley shouted as she ran up and gave her a hug.

"Hey." Lisa replied gloomily.

"What's wrong?" Ashley asked Lisa.

"Hey bitch, Sesshomaru said you're paying so here you go!" Katie shouted, hurling different items into the cart. Ashley watched as Lisa's grip on the cart tightened with anger.

"What is she doing here?" Ashley asked.

"Lisa, I'm not really craving chicken anymore. We can go out to eat…your treat." Sesshomaru called. Ashley crossed her arms and watched as Lisa bit her bottom lip so hard it started to bleed.

"Oh no, what happened?" Ashley asked soothingly.

"Me and Max decided to prank call our boss and now I'm getting the forefront of Sesshomaru's wrath." Lisa said angrily.

"Why are you letting him do this?" Ashley asked.

"Because, he'll tell Inutaisho that it was me and Max who threatened to whoop his ass and that's an option I'm willing to take right about now." Lisa moaned. Ashley sighed.

"Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place. Damn, why can't he just take a joke? I can totally tell how stressed out you are, this is ridiculous. You're going to have a heart attack if he doesn't stop."

"I'd sooner rather have a heart attack than deal with him and Katie! Ugh!" Lisa whined.

"Lisa!" Katie shouted. Ashley grabbed a liter of Pepsi and turned around.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch!" Ashley hollered, hurling the liter of soda at Katie and nailing her in her bleach blonde head. Katie fell to the floor instantly, crying out in pain. Lisa covered her mouth as she suppressed a gasp and a laugh. Ashley went ahead and began laughing as Katie began crying loudly. A crowd of people gathered around her, asking if she was ok and glaring at Ashley and Lisa.

"Oh shit…dude…are you going to be in more trouble because of that?" Ashley asked Lisa.

"You have no idea." Sesshomaru said as he pet Lisa on the head lightly.

"Don't punish her! It was all me!" Ashley insisted.

"Fine, I let this one go." Sesshomaru said, walking over to Katie. Ashley turned to Lisa and shrugged.

"Well, I definitely didn't help." She moaned.

"It's ok. At least you tried." Lisa said back, strolling up to the checkout line. Ashley waved goodbye and left with her mother as Lisa wrote up the ridiculous check for the useless items in her cart. Lisa walked out to the H3 and realized that her sweet, wonderful roommate had her keys. So she waited until they came out, Katie holding her head with one hand as Sesshomaru helped her out.

"I was looking for you." He said to Lisa.

"Well, I wasn't looking for you." Lisa retorted as she put the groceries in back. She got in the back seat and sighed as they pulled up to Friday's. Lisa felt her spine cringe again, another damn meal to pay for. She got out of the car and walked in behind the other two. They got a booth and sat down, tense silence between them all. Sesshomaru looked at Katie and Lisa, both glaring at one another. Sesshomaru cleared his throat.

"I'm going to the restroom." He stated.

"Whoop-dee-doo." Lisa said soullessly. She looked down and almost smiled. Her keys had fallen out of his pocket. She picked them up, making sure they wouldn't jingle as she placed them in her pocket. She waited for Sesshomaru to come back and tried to think of an excuse to go outside. Right then, her phone rang.

"Hello?" Lisa asked, an idea forming in her head.

"Hey, Ashley just told me," Max began.

"Oh, hi Mom!" Lisa chirped happily.

"What? No, it's Max!" Max whined.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You?" Lisa asked.

"Are you ok? Or are you using me?"

"What? Nuh uh…he said what to you? Oh Mom, I'm so sorry!" Lisa placed her hand over the phone.

"Can I take this outside? It's a bit private." Lisa asked Sesshomaru. He nodded as he took a sip out of his water.

"Thanks." Lisa said, walking outside.

"Sorry Max, I will call you back." Lisa laughed as she ran to her H3, climbing in and starting the engine. She drove by the window where Sesshomaru and Katie sat and honked the horn. Sesshomaru looked out the window and Lisa laughed as his face went white. She flipped them both a nice, perfect middle finger before speeding off, laughing as hard as she could.

"Damn it." Sesshomaru groaned as his covered his face with his hands.

"Wow…I guess she doesn't feel love for her friends when they get the better of her." Katie said.

"You've no idea." Sesshomaru replied, lifting his head and feeling really stupid.


	7. Chapter 7

Office Patrol

Sesshomaru opened the door to the condo and sighed as he walked in. Lisa was not in the front room, for once. He saw her H3 parked in the parking garage, but no Lisa.

"Maybe she's at the beach…at nine at night." He mumbled, feeling even more stupid. He walked to his room and grabbed his towel, shedding his clothes and jumping in the shower. It was an exceptionally hot day in Florida, so it was a bit muggy outside. He had to walk Katie home, then walk again, too proud to call someone to pick him up and explain what happened. He finished his shower and got out, blow-drying his long, silky white hair. Next he put on shorts and a t-shirt, placing his towel on the towel rack. He heard a thump in Lisa's room and sighed loudly.

"Lisa?" he asked, knocking on her door. No response. He knocked again and there was still no response. Sesshomaru opened the door and stuck his head in. Lisa was passed out on her bed, still in her clothes. Her light was on and a book was placed over her face. Sesshomaru closed the door and got in his own bed, setting his clock to wake up early.

"Damn, are you serious?" Sesshomaru moaned as he heard Lisa leave the condo…at four in the morning. She was so quiet that he hadn't heard her until she grabbed her keys. He really wanted to talk to her and _maybe_ apologize for him being too much of an asshole, but she went into work earlier than he did, which was odd. Sesshomaru sat up and began getting ready to go to work.

"I'm going to _kill_ him!" Max hissed as Lisa finished the story about yesterday. Lisa smiled.

"Aren't you wondering why I haven't yet?" she asked slyly, taking a sip of coffee. Max nodded.

"Uh…yeah! This isn't like you, what's got you so…relaxed?" Max asked suspiciously as he poured sugar into his own coffee.

"I had a little visit from El Dopa last night and he brought me my savior." Lisa replied, gently shaking the vicodin bottle and placing it back in her pocket. Max cursed as he sat on the counter.

"I don't support that, not one bit." Max said seriously. Lisa rolled her eyes and leaned back on the wall of the lounge room.

"You don't support it, but it helps calm me. It's not like I'm overdosing, I split them in half and take each half every seven hours, if needed." Lisa defended, silencing herself as Inutaisho walked into the room, Katie following closely behind.

"Good morning, you two!" Inutaisho sang with a smile, pouring himself some coffee. Lisa and Max placed their cups on their lips, glancing at one another with confusion before replying.

"Good morning, Boss." Max replied, setting his cup down and watching Lisa wave from East to West with a big smile.

"Helloooooo…Captain." She said jokingly. Inutaisho took a sip of coffee and stared at her silently.

"What in the hell is the matter with you?" he asked Lisa with a frown.

"Haha, oh nothing, I'm on drugs." Lisa replied with a laugh. Inutaisho shook his head and walked out. Katie poured the last of the coffee into her cup and placed the coffee pot in the sink. About that time, Sesshomaru walked in, but Lisa didn't see him.

"Hey! Didn't anyone ever tell you about the Coffee Rule?" Lisa asked Katie with a smirk. Katie turned to Lisa with her hand on her hip, the other hand holding the coffee cup.

"Uh, no, and I really don't care to know!" Katie replied sharply.

"Well…if you empty the Joe, you make some mo'! Got it, hoe?" Lisa asked, pressing the coffee pot into Katie's chest with a fake smile. Max started laughing.

"Hahahaha! It rhymed!" he chuckled, finishing off his cup of coffee.

"Ugh! Fine!" Katie shouted, pouring water into the pot. Sesshomaru walked up and took it from her.

"Here, I'll make it." He said, making sure not to glance over at Lisa and Max.

"Ruh roh!" Max said in his Scooby Doo voice as Lisa giggled.

"Hey, Lisa, you're on intercom duty today!" Inutaisho called from his office.

"WOOOOO! YEAH! MY FAVORITE JOB!" Lisa hollered loudly as she dropped her cup, watching it smash on the floor. Sesshomaru looked over at her, glaring. Lisa looked back at him, smiling.

"Haha, oops. Oh well, I'll get the janitor." Lisa said, walking out. Max picked up the glass and threw it away, then returning to his desk.

Lisa sat at the front desk, spinning around in her chair and making obnoxious noises to let everyone know that she was there to annoy them. A beautiful woman walked up to the desk and smiled at Lisa warmly.

"Hi, is my husband available?" she asked, her long, black hair pulled back into a ponytail. Lisa was too buzzed on coffee and vicodin to try and remember whom this lady was.

"That depends…who's your husband?" Lisa asked, her leg bouncing involuntarily.

"Uh, Lisa, it's me, Izayoi, Inutaisho's wife?" the lady quizzed worriedly. Lisa blinked a few times with a clueless look about her and pushed the intercom button.

"Yo, Captain Kirk!" Lisa chirped.

"What is it, Lisa?" Inutaisho growled.

"Your wife's coming up, you'd better zip up your pants and tell Katie to get dressed before she gets there." Lisa said seriously. She looked at Izayoi and smiled as she heard thunderous laughing coming from the room above her.

"He's all yours." Lisa said with a big smile.

"I really wish you wouldn't do that." Izayoi said sadly as she walked over to the elevator.

"Get in line." Lisa mumbled, turning the computer on. She found the 'Kill Barney The Dinosaur' game she downloaded a while ago and began playing it. Her favorite way to kill him was the lightning bolt, along with the knives and machine guns. She yawned and pressed a button.

"Yes?" Sesshomaru's irritated voice rang.

"Bring me some coffee before I die." Lisa ordered. She pressed another button and smiled.

"Bored already?" Max asked.

"How'd you know?" Lisa asked.

"Well, you pressed the PA button instead of Inutaisho's room button, so everyone in the building heard your little joke about him zipping up his pants and telling Katie to get dressed before his wife gets there." Max said. Lisa heard his mouse clicking too fast for any normal researching.

"Are you playing Kill Barney, too?" she asked, taking out another Barney with a knife.

"You know it." Max replied. Lisa looked up as Sesshomaru set her cup of coffee down in front of her. He didn't walk away.

"Hold on." She told Max, letting go of the button.

"What?" she asked crossly. Sesshomaru crossed his arms.

"It's all fine and dandy if you're going to make inappropriate jokes, but next time, don't make them over the PA system. Everyone heard you." He replied with equal anger.

"So I've been told. Plus, I pressed the wrong button on accident and I don't care if you don't believe me." Lisa said quickly. Sesshomaru exhaled loudly as he massaged his temples.

"Come to lunch with me. We need to talk." He stated.

"Uhhhhh…no." Lisa replied shortly, placing her fake smile upon her face.

"Why not?" he asked impatiently. Lisa stood up so fast that he almost flinched.

"Because! There's nothing to talk about, you douche bag!" Lisa hollered, grabbing hold of the desk and pretending it was his neck. She saw some people and clients walk in at that moment, but they said nothing.

"There is plenty to talk about, apparently." Sesshomaru replied calmly. Lisa sat back down, interlacing her fingers in her lap.

"Fuck off." She replied quietly. Sesshomaru turned around and walked down the hallway, his shoulder knocking into another employee's forcefully. Lisa looked at the people who walked in and saw that they were obviously nervous.

"Can I help someone?" she asked peacefully. A man walked up and Lisa sighed.

At her lunch break, Lisa pressed the button to Inutaisho's room and cleared her throat.

"What is it, Lisa?" Inutaisho asked loudly.

"I'm…uh, not taking a lunch break." Lisa said.

"Why not?" Inutaisho asked.

"Because I'm not. I'll work through lunch and get off early."

"Ok, that's fine." Inutaisho said with a strange tone to his voice. Lisa checked her phone and saw she had a message from Sesshomaru.

'Upstairs…now!' it read. Lisa smirked.

"Make me.' She replied.

'I will. Come up or I will tell my father what you did.'

'I got a surprise for you, hold on.' Lisa replied, sending him a picture of her middle finger. Then she pressed the PA button a few seconds later. About that time, Sesshomaru had flipped open his phone, seeing the middle finger. Then he froze when he heard the PA come on.

"Time for the afternoon announcements before everyone goes to lunch! Yaaaay! Here we go, Danny Fore needs to come pick up his lunch that Mama made for him, Julia Heckler, _your_ mother is in the hospital, get there ASAP, Tina Lure, you have a mailbox full of _shit_ that needs to be emptied before Inutaisho fires you and replaces you with a hot, younger, juicy version of Pamela Anderson. Oh, speaking of Inutaisho, hey old man, do you remember that hick that called you up the other day and said that he was going to whoop your ass?" Lisa asked, her voice ringing throughout the building.

"Uh oh." Max whispered to his office mate, Pete, as he snuck into the bathroom to hide.

"Yeah, that was me and Max, playing a little prank, but Sesshomaru knew it was us and he decided NOT to tell you so he could blackmail us! Isn't that exciting? Haha, I have to say, you must be mighty proud of him! I am!" Lisa's sarcasm filled the building with uneasiness and tense nervousness. Sesshomaru hid his face in his hands as he heard his father's uproar of disbelief and anger. The PA system came on again immediately.

"Sesshomaru, Max, Lisa, get your _asses_ in here, right now!" Inutaisho's angered voice was heard all over the building.

"Damn." Sesshomaru growled.

"Oohh shit!" Max shouted with fear from the bathroom.

"Hahahahahohohohohohehehehe!" Lisa laughed mockingly as another lady took her place. Lisa walked onto the elevator with Danny, who had just picked up his lunch.

"You're dead." Danny said with a smile.

"Nah…not yet." Lisa replied with a laugh. Finally she reached the office and opened the door, sitting next to Max, who was in between her and Sesshomaru. Lisa saw Katie at the desk next to Inutaisho's, smiling with great pleasure at Lisa.

"And just what the hell are you smiling about, Barbie?" Max asked crossly.

"You guys are in sooooo much trouble." Katie said. Her gaze went over to Sesshomaru.

"I'm sorry that you got caught in all of this." Katie said to him.

"Tch, I'm not." Lisa chirped, crossing one leg over the other as she sat back in the chair.

"And here I thought we were friends." Sesshomaru replied.

"You should've thought about that before yesterday." Lisa growled.

"I had my reasons."

"You had no right."

"Both of you stop." Max pleaded. Lisa crossed her arms and let out an irritated exhale. Inutaisho walked in and sat on his desk with a few papers in his hand. His legs dangled off the side as he looked at the three younger adults.

"I guess I will start with Max," Inutaisho said, looking at the first paper in his hand. Max let out a nervous breath.

"You've had no disciplinary problems for the two years you've worked for me, you've done what I asked and have done a great job. I checked with some of your teachers and they say that you are a wonderful person…until Lisa shows up." He began, his golden eyes resting upon Lisa, who looked like she was about to fall asleep and/or die.

"Max," Inutaisho continued, ignoring Lisa's button on her shirt that read, "I really wish I weren't here right now."

"Yes sir?" Max asked.

"I'm just going to assume that you were having fun and nothing else, so, you're free. Go back to work." Inutaisho said.

"Thank you, sir." Max replied, shooting Lisa a worried look before leaving.

"Now, I'm disappointed with both of you." Inutaisho said to Lisa and Sesshomaru.

"Oh no." Lisa mumbled sarcastically, looking out the window.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Inutaisho asked sharply.

"Probably." Lisa replied back quickly. Inutaisho growled and looked at Sesshomaru.

"I'm not even remotely mad at you, Son, go back to work." Inutaisho said as Sesshomaru left.

"Of course." Lisa moaned with a smile of skepticism, sitting up in the chair.

"If you were in control of your mouth, you wouldn't be here." Inutaisho pointed out.

"Everything happens for a reason." Lisa retorted.

"God, you're such a bitch." Katie said.

"Skank." Lisa replied with a smile.

"Lisa, watch your mouth." Inutaisho warned.

"Are you shitting me? You let her call me a bitch, but I can't call her a skank?" Lisa asked with disbelief.

"Well, she can, she's higher up than you." Inutaisho said, pointing at her desk. Lisa almost screamed out every profane word she knew and then repeat them in Japanese and French. Assistant Manager. Katie Myers had been working there for a month, and she was promoted to Assistant Manager while Lisa and Max worked there for two years, still stuck at the bottom of the Totem Pole. Hell, the janitors had more power than both of Max and Lisa put together.

"Oh…I see. Well, Inutaisho, if you look up your records on me, you will see that not only am I your hardest worker, but I'm your best. You've made countless successful business deals with other corporations because I typed your speeches _and_ prepared your deals, and everything else that I do not get rewarded for." Lisa said slowly with her tone sounding like she was about to burst like candy from a piñata.

"A point, please, Lisa." Inutaisho said. Lisa stood up and took off her nametag.

"I quit. I get it, but I quit. You win." She said, handing her nametag to Inutaisho soullessly and walking out. Max met her at the elevator.

"Hey, Lisa, what happened?" Max asked. Lisa smiled weakly at him.

"I quit." She said.

"You WHAT?" Max shouted.

"Shhh!" Lisa hissed as she walked onto the elevator.

"Why?" Max asked as the elevator doors closed.

"I'll explain later, right now, I have to get out of here before I blow the fucking building up."

"You're insane!" Max whined as Lisa walked to her H3, climbing in and driving off.

When Lisa got back to the condo, she let out a breath of relief, truly smiling without force for the first time that day. She walked over to Dee Donk's cage and pulled him out, nuzzling him on her chest. The small critter squeaked in realization of his owner, continuing to chirp lively, as if he were telling an epic tale.

"God, you're cute." Lisa cooed as she stroked Dee Donk on his naturally black, naturally spiked coat.

Later on that night, Sesshomaru walked inside, sighing with release. He had the next day off and he remembered that Lisa did too, but he didn't know that she had quit. He saw her passed out on the couch; Dee Donk was curled up next to her neck, sleeping soundly along with her.

"What is she doing here? She's not supposed to get off until later on tonight." Sesshomaru said, petting Dee Donk before removing him from Lisa's chest. The guinea pig let out a squeal of terror as Sesshomaru cradled him before putting him back in his cage.

"I was holding him." Lisa grumbled as her eyes opened. Sesshomaru locked gazes with her ocean blue orbs.

"You were sleeping." Sesshomaru corrected, sitting down on the couch.

"…I'm going to bed." Lisa stated, standing up, but Sesshomaru caught her arm and pulled her back down on the couch with him.

"Talk to me." Sesshomaru said in what sounded like a begging tone. It was slight, but Lisa sensed it.

"About?" Lisa asked, forgetting that she was angry with him

"Why are you home early?" he asked immediately.

"Oh, well, haha…you see, I, uh, quit." Lisa said sheepishly. For the first time in a long ass time, she saw Sesshomaru's expression go from calm to shocked.

"Y…you did what?" he asked hesitantly, turning his body to hers.

"Your dad was being unfair, so I quit." She repeated with more confidence. Sesshomaru exhaled as he pulled Lisa to him, giving her a tight hug.

"Oh wow, holy shit. You must feel really bad about yesterday if _you're_ giving _me_ a hug." Lisa chirped.

"Will you just shut the hell up? For once in your life, shut up!" Sesshomaru growled. Lisa laughed and pulled away, holding her hands up like a criminal does when the police catch them.

"Ok, my bad." Lisa admitted as Sesshomaru answered his phone.

"Hello?" he asked. He paused for a minute and looked at Lisa.

"No, I think she is, without a doubt, serious about it." Sesshomaru stated, mouthing the word, "Dad," silently. Lisa nodded. Sesshomaru paused again and then sighed.

"He wants to hear you say it." Sesshomaru said, holding his phone up to Lisa.

"…It!" she said quickly with a smile. She could hear Inutaisho's angry rants, saying, "That's not what I meant!" and "That smart ass whore needs to be smacked in the mouth!" and other comments that made Lisa laugh harder.

"Lisa," Sesshomaru warned, giving her the phone back.

"I am dead, fucking serious. I quit." Lisa said, still trying to hold back laughter.

"Look, Lisa, I need you to be here! I have this really important meeting and,"

"Ohhhhhhh! A meeting? How the hell are you going to pull that off without me? Hm, good question, I don't even think I can answer that one and I'm the one who asked it." Lisa replied angrily. She heard Inutaisho exhale with worry as he moaned.

"Don't get mad, get sadistic." Sesshomaru said to Lisa with a wink. She smiled and nodded.

"Lisa, please? Don't quit! I'll even pay you for the hours you took off today! I really do need you!" Inutaisho begged. Lisa placed her hand over the phone.

"Do you think he's begged me hard enough?" Lisa asked Sesshomaru. He shook his head "no."

"I think he can beg a little harder than that." Sesshomaru replied.

"Me too." Lisa whispered, placing the phone over her ears.

"Ok, I'll come back." She said.

"Oh thank you so much!"

"Under a few conditions, of course." Lisa added on slyly.

"…Oh…of course." Inutaisho replied quietly. His tone resembled the "Oh shit" tone.

"I would like a promotion, for me and Max, since he does some of your dirty work too. Also, I want us both to be paid more." Lisa said. Inutaisho let out a long breath.

"Fine. I'll pay you both more and promote you both." Inutaisho agreed.

"Alright, when should I come in tomorrow?"

"You can have tomorrow off, come in the next day." Inutaisho said.

"Sounds great. See ya." Lisa replied, clicking the phone off and laughing.

"You really are a pain in his ass, even when you don't mean to be." Sesshomaru pointed out.

"That's the other part of my job, I suppose. Well, there's nothing I can do about that. So…want to watch a movie?" Lisa offered. Sesshomaru nodded.

"That'd be nice. What movie do you have in mind?" he asked, standing up with her.

"I don't know, but I'm making the popcorn!" Lisa called, running into the kitchen. Sesshomaru walked over to the shelf with the countless DVDs. He scanned down the line, frowning as nothing in particular popped out at him.

"What are you in the mood for? Action, comedy, romance?" Sesshomaru called out as the microwave was turned on.

"Well, you can scratch romance off the list because I do not believe that either one of us believes in romance, nor do we own movies based on romance." Lisa said back.

"Action it is, then." Sesshomaru replied, pulling out 'The Dark Night.'

"Oooooh, great choice!" Lisa laughed, pulling the popcorn out and sighing. She always felt better when she and Sesshomaru got along instead of pulling out the samurai swords and fighting to the death about who was more right or who had more right to do what.


	8. Chapter 8

The Day Off

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You bitch!" a voice shouted loudly. Sesshomaru's eyes shot open as he sat up, rubbing his head.

"Shhhhhh! Max!" Lisa hissed. Sesshomaru frowned and rolled his eyes. It was too late now. He was already awake. Sesshomaru grabbed his doorknob and froze. Max was out in the living room and he would be damned if he walked out there shirtless. Sesshomaru grabbed his robe and tied it shut before opening his door and striding out into the living room.

"Shit. Sorry." Max said, not looking up from the TV screen. Sesshomaru sighed.

"It's quite alright, Max." Sesshomaru yawned, walking into the kitchen.

"Oh, I wasn't talking to you. I shot Lisa in the head." Max corrected, pointing at the now dead Lisa on the TV screen. The real Lisa was shaking her head while covering he face. Sesshomaru couldn't tell if she was laughing or mumbling.

"I'm sure she forgives you too, Max." Sesshomaru retorted dryly as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He sipped it and then frowned.

"Lisa, the coffee is cold." Sesshomaru stated. He saw Max roll his eyes and mouth, "Duh" to the TV. Lisa looked up and nodded with a smile.

"That's because I made it…two hours ago." Lisa replied with a mocking laugh. Sesshomaru frowned and looked at the clock. It was a little past noon.

"I've never slept that late before." Sesshomaru said, putting the cup in the microwave and heating it.

"I was seriously about to come in there and make sure that you were still breathing." Max said with a smile. Sesshomaru felt his stomach lurch. Max? Make sure he was breathing? Oh…dear God.

"Well, don't…ever." Sesshomaru remarked sharply. Max began laughing as he paused the game.

"You really don't like me, do you?" Max asked with a fake hurt tone.

"Only as a mediocre friend." Sesshomaru said back, taking another sip of coffee and flinching.

"Now it's too hot." Sesshomaru grumbled to himself.

"Well, yeah, that happens when you put stuff in the microwave." Lisa chirped with a giggle. Sesshomaru glared at her.

"I guess what happened last night doesn't matter now?" Sesshomaru asked with slight anger.

"Ooooooh, what happened?" Max asked suspiciously, staring at Lisa.

"You know, Sesshomaru, you ask the worst questions at the wrong time." Lisa said with a whine.

"I only do it to annoy you." Sesshomaru retorted.

"Well, good job." Lisa replied, taking the controller and continuing the game.

"Thank you. I feel as though I've accomplished some great feat." Sesshomaru said with heavy mockery, drinking some of his coffee. Lisa opened her mouth but Max put his hand over her mouth, dragging her onto the floor.

"Nooooo! You mustn't say anything!" Max yelled playfully as Lisa tried to hit him.

"Lisa! You're the woman! You must submit yourself to him! Submit!" Max yelled teasingly as Lisa tried once more to pull his hand off her mouth. Finally, she decided to knee him in the crotch really hard. Sesshomaru almost snorted the coffee through his nose as he tried to hold back his laughter. Max was writhing on the floor, laughing, but writhing.

"Owww! Lisaaaaa!" Max whined as he rolled back in forth, both hands on the family jewels. Sesshomaru walked by Max.

"You deserved it. Lisa, how about the three of us go to the pool?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Yeah, God knows you need it. You are whiiiiiite!" Lisa sang as she ran to her bedroom to change. Sesshomaru looked at Max and noticed that he had his swim trunks on already.

"Daaaaaamn!" Max cried as Sesshomaru closed his door.

Sesshomaru crossed his arms on the elevator ride down. He had his blue beach towel draped over his bare right shoulder. Lisa stood across from him, her hand over her mouth as her body tensed from concealing her laughter. Max was totally checking him out and he didn't like it, nor could he figure out if Max did it to annoy him or did it because he liked his body. Sesshomaru sighed as he decided it was both.

"Been working out?" Max asked him as Lisa snorted, her tanned body convulsing as she held back her joy. Sesshomaru turned his head to Max and glared.

"No." he replied plainly.

"Well, you look great." Max replied with his big smile. Sesshomaru inhaled deeply while rolling his eyes, his gaze landing at the side of the elevator and staying there. Lisa had given up on holding back her laughter and was using the railing as support to hold herself up. The doors opened as three girls walked in. They were all tan, all blonde, and all in skimpy bathing suits.

"First floor." One girl in the red bathing suit said. Lisa nodded.

"That's where we're heading." Lisa replied.

"Ok." The one in the green bathing suit said. Sesshomaru let out a low, irritated groan as he saw Max, and the three girls staring at him in the elevator wall's reflection. He also heard Lisa going into another silent fit of laughter. It wasn't that Sesshomaru was insecure about his body, he was damn proud of it, he rarely worked out but somehow he had defined abs and a great chest, but he just hated it when people stared at him for more than five seconds without blinking. Drooling was even more of a turn off for him.

"Going to the beach?" the blonde in the blue bathing suit asked him. Max and Lisa looked at one another and stayed silent.

"That depends, where are you going?" Sesshomaru asked, making eye contact for the first time. She smiled and thought he wanted to go where she was.

"The beach." She replied seductively, placing her sunglasses in her cleavage.

"Then I'm turning on my heel and going to the pool." Sesshomaru replied calmly but brutally. The three girls' mouths hung open in shock.

"Ouch." Max mumbled as he stared at the floor for the first time.

"Burned." Lisa muttered, still smiling. The door opened and the three blondes walked out, acting like they were pissed off at someone they've never met.

"Wow, you killed them." Max said, raising his hand to high-five Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru raised his.

"It was fun…scoot, scoot, scoot!" Sesshomaru said, pulling his hand away from Max's, making Max's face go red as he stamped the ground.

"You're a dick!" Max shouted. Lisa laughed and ran up to Sesshomaru.

"Burn me next!" she chirped.

"I'm not going to burn you if you're asking for it. It takes the fun for me out of it." Sesshomaru replied a smirk, opening the gate to the pool area. A few people were sunbathing, but it wasn't infested with people…yet. Sesshomaru chose a chair in the sun and laid his towel on it, sitting down and grabbing the sunscreen from Max, who protested loudly.

"What is it? "Be An Ass to Max" Day?" Max whined as Sesshomaru began rubbing the sunscreen on himself.

"No, but I can make it that." Sesshomaru replied.

"Oh, damn, he's on a roll today." Lisa laughed as she rubbed sunscreen on herself and layback in the chair. Sesshomaru handed the sunscreen back to Max, who moved to the chair on the other side of Lisa, making her the middle of the odd ménage-a-trois of friendship. Sesshomaru put on his sunglasses and closed his eyes, letting the heat of the sun relax his body. He heard Max and Lisa snort as they told each other some jokes.

"Hey Max, how can you spot a lesbian bar" Lisa asked.

"Uh…it's full of chicks?" Max guessed.

"No. The pool tables don't have balls." Lisa answered.

"Hahahaha! Here's one for you. Ok, a businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring him another double martini." Max began, a yawn interrupting him. He looked over at Sesshomaru and smirked before looking back at Lisa.

"Continue." Sesshomaru said slyly.

"Anyway, the bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martinis all night long, but you got to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home!" Haha" Max laughed. Lisa began giggling as well.

"Sounds like someone else I know." Lisa commented.

"Haha, doesn't it? I thought you'd like that." Max said back. Sesshomaru remained silent. Max and Lisa smiled as they bumped each other's fists in victory.

Sesshomaru had fallen asleep, something he didn't do intentionally. Especially since Max and Lisa were on the prowl. He remembered the last time he feel asleep at the beach with those two still awake. They took the sunscreen and wrote "Jackass" on his nice, chiseled chest. It wouldn't disappear for a while. He heard Lisa and Max having a verbal quarrel, nothing unusual, then Sesshomaru Lisa curse as she landed on the half-asleep Sesshomaru. Her knee went straight into the last place it needed to be, his crotch.

"Max!" Lisa shouted.

"Ahh! Lisa!" Sesshomaru snarled as he sat up in the tanning chair.

"Max pushed me! It was his fault!" Lisa insisted as she stood up.

"Oh yeah, blame your retarded self on me!" Max argued. Lisa huffed and tackled Max into the huge pool. They both rose out of the water, screaming at how cold it was. Max splashed Lisa in the face.

"You're dumb! Now we're both wet!" Max shouted. Lisa splashed him back.

"You were wet before I even pushed you in!" Lisa yelled.

"No I wasn't!"

"You kept staring at Sesshomaru, how couldn't you be?" Lisa asked smugly. Max splashed her, she splashed him and back and forth. Sesshomaru stood up and sighed, thinking it was about time for some revenge. Sesshomaru got a running start and jumped, landing on both Max and Lisa forcefully, creating a huge splash that woke anyone who was sleeping up. Lisa rose to the surface, her hair matted to her head. She pushed her hair out of her face and smiled as Sesshomaru came up next. His long white hair stuck to him as well, but it wasn't in his face.

"Are you ok?" Sesshomaru asked as Lisa wiped her mouth off.

"Yeah, you only punched me in the face…douche bag." Lisa replied with a smile. Max came up, coughing and fuming.

"What the hell man?" Max asked Sesshomaru who smirked.

"I refuse to explain myself to you." Sesshomaru replied, turning his back to Max, who muttered a few colorful words and climbed out, lying back down on his chair. Lisa laughed.

"Sorry." Sesshomaru said, examining her mouth.

"No harm done. I will admit, I do need to be smacked in the mouth from time to time." Lisa said, pushing Sesshomaru's hand away. Sesshomaru sighed. He forgot that she hated it when a guy got too physically close. Which brought a question to his mind.

"Why is it that Max can get close to you but I cant?" Sesshomaru asked, lowering himself in the water to be at eye level with Lisa.

"He's gay, you're not. He's not into me; there is always a possibility that you are. I don't like being touched by guys, period…or girls." Lisa added on quickly.

"I'm not into you." Sesshomaru defended.

"There is always going to be a possibility, regardless of what you say." Lisa argued with an arrogant smile.

"Lisa, it's been a few weeks since we've been out of school, please, lay off the psychology class bullshit." Sesshomaru said with a moan.

"You rarely cuss, which means, either I'm right or I'm right." Lisa retorted.

"Whatever."

"Hah! Bet you never learned that in psychology! Suck it, Sesshomaru, suck it!" Lisa taunted as she pointed at her crotch underwater so that no one could figure out what she was saying. Sesshomaru pushed her back and she splashed him, but he dodged by going underwater.

"You're dumb." Lisa said as Sesshomaru resurfaced.

"Really now? Explain." Sesshomaru demanded.

"You dodged my splash by going underwater, what was the point?" she pointed out.

"There wasn't a point, just principle. You didn't get my face wet, I did, and therefore it made perfect since to go underwater." Sesshomaru retorted. Lisa crossed her arms and sighed. Sesshomaru swam up closer to her.

"Bet you never learned that in psychology. Suck it, Lisa, suck it." Sesshomaru taunted in a low voice as he imitated her same movements.

"You'd better get away from me before I kick it, Sesshomaru, kick it hard." Lisa responded as she threw up a random gang sign and floated away backwards. Sesshomaru frowned and shook his head. Damn, she was random at times. Sesshomaru heard quick footsteps behind him and he kicked off the bottom of the pool, speeding away just in time as Max landed in the water. Max resurfaced and shouted.

"Fuck! Whyyyy?" Max asked as he slammed his fist in the water.

"Loser." Sesshomaru said, grabbing onto one of the islands in the middle of the pool.

"Loooosssssseeerrrrrr!" Lisa sang as she crawled up on top of the island, leaning against a palm tree.

"Shut up Lisa, before I shove my foot up your ass!" Max yelled with a smile.

"What? What? What's up? That's right, nothing!" Lisa responded as Sesshomaru snuck onto the island behind her. Lisa saw Max's eyes avert to behind her and she turned around, stepping to the side and letting Sesshomaru stumble on the edge.

"Oh, you're about to fall…here, let me help you." Lisa laughed, pushing Sesshomaru back in. She laughed as he came back up, hair all in his face. He pushed it back and grimaced at her for a moment.

"Who's the loser now?" Max asked, climbing onto the palm tree and hanging off of it like a monkey.

"You!" Lisa sang, jumping in and grabbing Max's trunks, ripping them off and swimming away as fast as possible.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Max screeched as he landed in the pool butt naked. Sesshomaru climbed out with his eyes shut.

"I didn't need to _see_ that." Sesshomaru moaned when he found Lisa.

"Hahahahahaha!" was her only response as she laid in her chair, flashing Max's trunks to him.

"I hate you!" Max shouted, his hands over his crotch underwater. Lisa continued laughing at him. Sesshomaru turned his head when he heard the gate open. His eyes widened when in came…his family.

"Oh…shit." Lisa muttered as Inutaisho walked in with Inuyasha and Kikyo.

"LISA!" Max hollered in his Army man voice as Inuyasha and Kikyo jumped in. Lisa nodded and stood up, wading his trunks into a ball and hurling it towards him. The trunks caught onto the palm tree and dangled too high for him to reach…without showing his junk.

"Lisa! What the _fuck_ was that?" Max asked, his voice going from deep Army man to high-pitched girl as he pointed at his dangling trunks. Lisa began laughing.

"Hahahaha…ssssss…sorry, Max! Hahahaha!" Lisa laughed.

"What's going on here?" Inutaisho asked Lisa, standing too close behind her. Lisa turned around and grabbed his arm, hurling him inside the pool without a second thought.

"Good job." Sesshomaru commented sarcastically as he clapped slowly. Lisa turned to him.

"He stood too close to me!" she argued, pointing at the resurfacing man.

"I know, I'm sorry!" Inutaisho insisted as he pulled himself out.

"No harm, I was in my trunks." He finished with a smile.

"Well I'm not! Lisa, you cunt!" Max hollered.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!" Lisa shouted, diving into the pool and swimming over to the tree. Lisa jumped up and grabbed the trunks, handing them to Max who quickly pulled them on.

"What are they doing here?" Max hissed quietly. Lisa shrugged.

"Honestly, I thought they had all died out because of a sexually transmitted disease, but that's too much to ask." Lisa said back. Max tried to glare but he just laughed. He could never stay mad at her.

"Oh wow, I'd die without you." Max said, swimming back to his chair.

"You'd still be butt ass naked, too!" Lisa called, climbing out with him.

"That was your fault to begin with!" Max argued. Lisa lay back down in her chair and frowned. Inutaisho was "talking" to Inuyasha, but both of their eyes were fixed on her. Sesshomaru saw her face redden with anger and stood up. He walked next to his father and "pretended" to push Inutaisho right on top of Inuyasha in the water.

"Whoa!" Inutaisho shouted as he landed on his youngest son in the water. Inutaisho resurfaced and glared at Sesshomaru who had his arms crossed.

"Oops." Sesshomaru said sarcastically. Inuyasha grabbed Sesshomaru's leg and pulled him into the pool.

"Hahahaha!" Lisa laughed.

"It's gonna be a girl fight!" Max sang, clapping his hands childishly. Sesshomaru towered over his brother and shoved Inuyasha underwater. Inuyasha resurfaced just in time to get a nice punch to the face.

"Calm down, boys!" Inutaisho ordered, but Sesshomaru was done. He climbed out of the pool and grabbed his towel. Lisa saw that Sesshomaru's back was cut open and bleeding.

"Sesshomaru, you're,"

"I'm going back to the room." Sesshomaru cut Lisa off coldly. Lisa turned to Max and frowned.

"_You_ go talk to him, he likes you better." Max insisted. Lisa sighed. Max never liked being involved in drama. Lisa grabbed her towel and ran after Sesshomaru. He had his hand on the elevator door to let Lisa in.

"Here, let me see your back." Lisa said. Sesshomaru let out a breath of annoyance, but turned around anyway. It was a long, somewhat deep gash going down his back.

"Ahhhh." Lisa said, shivering.

"Is it bad?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Um…it could be worse, but still, it looks like it hurts."

"It stings." Sesshomaru corrected aloofly. Lisa could still hear a slight tone of pain in his voice, though.

"Did Inuyasha use his girl powers on you or what?" Lisa asked, placing her fingers on Sesshomaru's back to try and get his attention off the pain.

"No, when he pulled me in, there was a sharp edge sticking up from the concrete and it sliced me." Sesshomaru said, walking out as the doors opened. They walked a few doors down and opened their own door. Sesshomaru and Lisa walked in and stopped dead in their tracks. Katie was lying on the floor in red lingerie, acting like she was waiting…for _someone_.

"Dear God," Sesshomaru muttered with disbelief and anger.

"Hey baby, I've been…what are _you_ doing here?" Katie asked Lisa with annoyance, who stared back angrily.

"Oh, I don't know, I…LIVE HERE!" Lisa hollered heatedly. Katie got up and walked up to Lisa.

"I don't know who you ahhhhhhhhh!" but she was cut off by a sharp jab to the nose, courtesy of Lisa, who dragged Katie by her blonde hair out of the condo, down the concrete walkway, threw her stupid ass in the elevator, pressed all of the buttons randomly, kicked Katie a few more times, then let her have a wonderful ride on the elevator. Lisa walked back to the room, where Sesshomaru waited patiently with a smile on his face.

"Feel better?" Sesshomaru asked with a laugh.

"God, I hate that bitch. I hope she dies of Gonno-syphilitis Type Q or whatever the hell they call that STD these days." Lisa snarled, sitting Sesshomaru down at the table.

"I think a simple, "all of the STDs," would've worked, Lisa." Sesshomaru corrected.

"Whatever. I'll be back." She said, walking to her bathroom and grabbing a few items. She walked back and pulled a chair up behind him. She wiped some of the blood of roughly, causing him to wince.

"Ahh, hey, hey, hey! Be a little gentler, I'm not Katie." Sesshomaru hissed with pain.

"Well if you didn't feel the need to fuck with me the other day, she wouldn't have gotten confused like the stupid cunt she is…again!" Lisa said back, being softer with his cut. Sesshomaru didn't reply as Lisa began putting something wet over his cut.

"It's liquid Band-Aid, if you're curious." Lisa said, breaking the silence.

"Sounds wonderful." Sesshomaru replied sarcastically.

"Ok, finished." Lisa said, grabbing her things and turning around.

"Thank you, Lisa." Sesshomaru said.

"Uh huh, no problem." She replied.


	9. Chapter 9

Christmas Edition

(For all of you non-Christians, the Holiday Edition)

Whatever, it's my story, so suck it.

THE CHRISTMAS EDITION!!!

(Part One)

A few more weeks of odd moments had passed and before Lisa and Sesshomaru could yell and call each other colorful names, it was almost Christmas. Max and Lisa were sitting in their brand new office that they decided to share in celebration of their promotion because of their "hard work." Max leaned back in his chair as he sat his keyboard in his lap, pressing a button furiously. Lisa, too, was playing the game against him, rapidly pressing her keyboard as well.

"I'm going to kill you, so give up!" Max teased.

"Psh! You'll never win!" Lisa laughed back. The office PA came on.

"Rooster is reporting to Ledge Nazi and the Hulk's Left Nut." A woman's voice came out. Max and Lisa laughed. They actually got someone to talk to them in code.

"Yes, Rooster?" Lisa asked as Max continued laughing.

"The sun is rising." The woman said with a chuckle.

"Shit! Max! Code red!" Lisa hissed, clicking the game off and pulling up the website she was supposed to be researching. Max did the same and put his keyboard back on his desk. Just as they relaxed, Sesshomaru walked into the room with a folder full of papers.

"Good morning. I assume you are enjoying your promotions?" Sesshomaru asked slyly as they stared back with big smiles.

"Duh!" Max replied.

"Fo' shizzy nizzy!" Lisa chirped. Sesshomaru stared curiously at them a while longer before walking up to them and handing Lisa the folder.

"I just need you to read over this quickly and tell me what you think." Sesshomaru said with a mocking smile, sitting on the edge of Lisa's desk. Lisa opened the folder and scowled.

'Stop playing video games and get to work!' a note read. Sesshomaru signed it in fancy letters, too. Lisa snorted as she held the folder away from her face, pretending to examine it.

"Hm, it sounds pretty good to me. What do you think Max?" Lisa asked, handing Max the folder. He read it and chuckled, handing it back to Sesshomaru.

"Well?" Sesshomaru asked Max.

"Haha…it's beautiful!" Max replied while laughing. Sesshomaru threw the note in the trash and handed the folder back to Lisa.

"Now, seriously, read over that." Sesshomaru insisted. Lisa exhaled as she leaned back in her chair, scanning lightly over the contract. Sesshomaru watched her eyes move and smirked.

"If you find any loopholes, let me know." Sesshomaru added quickly. Max rolled his eyes and pulled his cell phone out, responding to a text he received. Lisa handed the folder back to Sesshomaru with a pale face, but said nothing. Sesshomaru cleared his throat.

"So…did you find anything?" he asked. Lisa frowned and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Did…uh, did you write that?" she asked him back quietly. Max looked up curiously as Sesshomaru shook his head.

"No, I haven't even read it myself. Why?" he asked, looking down on the contract. His eyes widened when he read the first line.

'Lisa attacked me the other day!' it read. Sesshomaru realized that the two-paged contract wasn't a contract; it was a very angry letter. Sesshomaru looked at Lisa, who had her hands clasped together as her leg shook involuntarily. Her face showed slight annoyance.

"It seems as if have I grabbed the wrong folder. Oh, silly me." Sesshomaru said smugly. Lisa glared at him.

"You wanted me to see that?" she asked.

"See what?" Sesshomaru replied innocently.

"Just play along, Lisa." Max whispered.

"Got it. Thanks for that, uh, riveting contract." Lisa replied uncertainly as Sesshomaru nodded, leaving the room swiftly.

"He's not supposed to do that. If his dad finds out that he showed you confidential papers, both of you could be fired and sued." Max whispered. Lisa nodded.

"Alright." Lisa said, pulling the game back up and continuing her slaughter against Max.

Later on, during lunch break, Max and Lisa marched to the lounge room to grab the lunches they brought themselves. They sat at the table in the lounge and opened their sacks, pulling out sandwiches, cans of soda, and little treats on the side. Max yawned as he waved the note that Sesshomaru brought to them that day.

"Dude, I can totally write up weird notes and forge his signature!" Max stated as he opened his can of Pepsi. Lisa opened her can of Vault and smiled.

"We should! Hahaha, Katie, please go shove a broom up your ass before getting some from my dad. It will help you get used to it, trust me. With love, Sesshomaru. P.S. Is Gonno-syphilitis Type Q contagious?" Lisa said while mocking Sesshomaru's voice.

"More like shove a Twinkie up your ass. Inutaisho is like…ninety years old!" Max replied as he folded the note and placed it back in his pocket.

"And yet you want to bang him too." Lisa added on with a smile. Max laughed.

"He's a hot ninety year old."

"Well, do you know what I suggest?"

"What?"

"I suggest you start shoving Twinkies up your ass to get used to it! Hahahaha!" Lisa shot quickly. Max groaned in loss but he began laughing too.

"Well, I don't care how hot he is, he had better give me a bonus check for Christmas. God knows I need it." Max said, biting into his sandwich.

"Why?" Lisa asked with her mouth full of her own sandwich. Max took a drink and cleared his throat.

"My sister wrecked my fucking car, so the insurance went up and I need to get a new vehicle!" Max whined angrily.

"Your sister's a dumbass." Lisa said.

"You think I don't know this? Ugh! She should pay for it!" Max growled.

"Well, I need the bonus check too." Lisa replied, finishing up her lunch.

"You do?" Max asked.

"Yeah, since it's the holidays, people from up north come down here to Florida for vacation, so the rent on the condo goes up for this month, I need a little extra to get by." Lisa explained, walking over to the vending machine and buying a Mountain Dew.

"Haha, is Vault not enough?" Max asked, grabbing a bottle of water that had 'Inutaisho' written on it.

"No…what are you…eeeewwwww!" Lisa whispered loudly as Max took a drink and then spit it back in.

"Max!" Lisa hissed.

"What? That's the only way I can swap spit with him." Max replied with a smile as Lisa punched him in the arm.

"You're disgusting! Hahaha!" she laughed as they made their way down the hallway to their office.

After work, Lisa drove home quietly, smiling at the day's events. That was the most fun she had going to work, except for last year's Christmas Party where she and Max played countless pranks on people they didn't like. She parked in the garage and walked to the elevator, pressing the button to go up. She walked in and sighed, wishing the elevator would move faster. She had also wished that people who came to Florida to have a good time didn't have TOO much of a good time.

"Noisy bastards." Lisa mumbled as group of guys went running past her, screaming wildly. She walked into her condo and sighed. She finally got to relax a little. Sesshomaru came walking out of the hallway, talking on his cell phone.

"Yes, I do plan on coming. Hi Lisa." Sesshomaru said, switching conversations. Lisa waved.

"Hi." She replied.

"How was your day?" he asked, ignoring the angry yelling on the other end of the phone.

"It was decent…for once." Lisa commented.

"That's good."

"Yep. You?" she asked.

"Same old shit, different day." He remarked.

"No, Mom, I didn't cuss." He quickly added, flashing a smile to Lisa who laughed.

"Lisa, can you hand me the scissors?" Sesshomaru asked quickly.

"Here you go, homes." Lisa replied, handing him the scissors. Lisa heard a scream of joy on the phone as Sesshomaru held the phone as far away as possible.

"Yes! Here's Lisa! Lisa, talk to her!" Sesshomaru ordered, handing her his phone.

"Hello?" Lisa asked.

"Ahhh! Oh my God, Lisa! How are you?" the lady shouted. Lisa squinted as her ear rang.

"I…I'm good, Kimi! Haha, you?" Lisa asked loudly.

"Oh I'm fine! So, are you coming to our family Christmas this year?" Kimi asked.

"I can't. My family is having their own party at my house. I would definitely come to yours if I could though." Lisa said.

"Liar." Sesshomaru commented as he offered Lisa a cookie.

"You baked cookies? Since when?" Lisa asked.

"Sesshomaru baked cookies? Since when is my son a fag? Put him on the phone!" Kimi shouted as Lisa started cracking up, handing the phone to Sesshomaru.

"Thanks a lot, Lisa!" Sesshomaru snarled, holding the phone up to his ear.

"No…n…no Mom! I was being nice! I'm not gay! What do you mean why I baked them? Lisa loves cookies, right Lisa?" Sesshomaru asked, giving Lisa the, "You'd better say yes" look.

"Y…yes I love cookies! I am absolutely bonkers for cookies! Especially Sesshomaru's cookies!" Lisa shouted loudly while holding back a snort.

"Mom, that definitely wasn't a sexual innuendo! Shut up…I'm not gay!" Sesshomaru hollered as he walked back to his room. Lisa poured herself some milk as she giggled. She loved Sesshomaru's mom, but the lady did get pretty crazy sometimes. Lisa sat her milk on the coffee table and gave Dee Donk a carrot. The guinea pig yanked the carrot from her fingers and ran inside his igloo, munching on the snack.

"Damn, I can't stand her!" Sesshomaru complained as he sat down next to Lisa. He leaned his head back while covering his face, letting out a groan of frustration. Lisa pat his stomach lightly.

"Thanks for the cookies." She chirped. Sesshomaru looked at her and scoffed.

"You're welcome. Thanks for finally convincing her that I'm gay." He argued, stealing one of Lisa's cookies and biting into it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! Anyway, who's going to take care of Dee Donk if we are both gone?" Lisa asked.

"Don't look at me, I wanted a rabbit." Sesshomaru commented as he turned the TV.

"Fine, I'll take him, jerk!" Lisa snapped.

"Oh, I'm a jerk? Who bought the little bastard and his things? Who gives you the exact hours at work that you want? Who made cookies?" Sesshomaru asked, listing off his good deeds. Lisa began laughing at him.

"What?" Sesshomaru snapped.

"Hahaha…who made cookies?" Lisa asked, imitating his voice while waving her arms up and down and then laughing. Sesshomaru pushed her as he smirked.

"I hate you." Sesshomaru said.

"Yeah, I know." Lisa sighed.

Early in the morning, on Christmas Eve, Sesshomaru walked into Lisa's room all dressed up for the day's events. He walked over to the side of her bed and sat down with a cup of coffee, gently waking her up.

"Hey, Lisa, wake up." Sesshomaru whispered.

"Mmmm…what'd I do?" she moaned, blinking a few times before sitting up.

"Nothing. I just came to tell you bye, since we won't see one another for a few days." Sesshomaru explained, handing Lisa the coffee. She took a few sips and set the cup on her nightstand.

"Oh, yeah, bye! If you can, call me later on tonight, ok?" she asked, holding her fist up. Sesshomaru bumped her fist with his.

"Don't worry, I'll have to if I want to stay sane. Is there a curfew time I need to call by?" he asked.

"Yeah, don't call past midnight! Santa won't bring me anything if you keep me awake!" Lisa said sarcastically. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes.

"Alright, but don't get angry with me if I end up calling you at three in the morning, you know, the 'Witching Hour?'" he shot back with a smirk.

"You know I will, so there's no reason to tell me not to." Lisa laughed.

"I have to go. Bye." Sesshomaru said, glancing at his watch.

"Talk to you later." Lisa said, getting up to get ready.

Lisa showered and pulled out some clothes and other random items to keep her busy at her parents' house. She packed them in a bag and walked out in the front room, picking up Dee Donk's cage, with him and everything inside it. Lisa locked the door and carried the cage to the elevator, pressing button. She stood inside with a married couple, who glanced at her with nervous smiles.

"My roommate won't be here, so I have to carry this wonderful little guy around with me." Lisa explained.

"Oh, how cute!" a woman cooed.

"That's how my wife and I met. I bought her a rabbit though." The man said, holding the woman's hand. Lisa frowned.

"Wow, really?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think I named him Dee." The woman said. Lisa froze.

"No way! I named my guinea pig _Dee_ Donk!" Lisa exclaimed.

"Well, that's…imaginative." The man laughed.

"I know it makes your spine cringe, doesn't it? Well, according to my roommate it does. " Lisa stated as the couple laughed.

"No, it's just funny, but I named my rabbit Dee after Dee Snider." The woman explained.

"Ah, haha, Twisted Sister, great band."

"Uh huh." The couple agreed. Lisa walked out as the doors opened, speeding to her car and putting Dee Donk in the back seat. She got in and quickly drove off towards her parents' house.

When Lisa arrived, she was attacked by all of the little kids in her family, asking what was in the cage.

"Oooh! Oooh! Did you get that for me?" Anthony, Lisa's little brother, asked.

"No! Sesshomaru got him for _me_! Now, please move!" Lisa whined. She heard a couple of people go "Awww" when she said _who_ got Dee Donk for _her_.

"It's not like that!" Lisa barked irritably as she walked back to her old room, setting Dee Donk's cage on her old desk. She grabbed a blanket from the closet and covered his cage with it.

"Sorry little guy, crazy ass family members." Lisa said, slipping in a carrot she grabbed from the food tray on her way in. Dee Donk didn't mind as he started eating. Lisa walked back out into the living room and was attacked by her uncle. He grabbed her left hand and examined it.

"What? He gets you a gerbil, but no engagement ring?" he asked with a drunken laugh. Lisa pulled her hand away.

"It's a guinea pig and we aren't dating!" Lisa shouted angrily.

"Whatever! Here, give Uncle Ed a hug!" he laughed, hugging Lisa tightly. Lisa rolled her eyes, but hugged him back. Lisa walked into the kitchen and grabbed a Mountain Dew.

"God, Lisa, grabbing a Mountain Dew is like second nature to you, isn't it?" her mother asked, walking to the stove frantically.

"It's what gets me moving in the morning to make some money." Lisa replied, chugging the soda.

"Well, at least you're not doing drugs. How are you sweetie, you look tired." Her mom said, giving Lisa a hug. Lisa hugged her back and exhaled.

"Just a little tired, but I will be ok." Lisa responded.

"HEY LISA! SHOW EVERYONE THE ENGAGEMENT RING SESSHOMARU GOT YOOOOOOUUUU!" Uncle Ed shouted obnoxiously. Lisa turned around furiously and flipped him her left, middle finger.

"Fuck you!" Lisa shouted.

"There's your Goddamned engagement ring, you prick!" another one of her uncles laughed as everyone else gasped and laughed and carried on. Lisa turned around to her mom and exhaled as she grabbed another can of Dew.

"I hate him!" Lisa hissed.

"I know, I know, but remember, he's on your dad's side." Her mom sighed as she removed a pie from the oven. Lisa licked her lips. She LOVED her mom's chocolate pie. That one pie could start a war if it wanted to.

For the rest of the night, her uncle, Ed, continuously bashed and made fun of Sesshomaru's and her _relationship. _He even tried to make fun of Sesshomaru, but Lisa was on him like fake hair on Donald Trump, so for the rest of the night, Ed didn't say anything cruel, but that didn't help Lisa's mood. She checked the mail this morning before she left and no bonus check. Lisa sent a message to Max who replied with "No, I didn't get it either. Damn it, I need it!" Lisa nodded, so did she, a lot worse than what she had thought.

After dinner, everyone gathered in the front room to sing, tell stories and laugh about the good times. Lisa's mom walked over to her, handing her an envelope that was from her work. She let out a scream of joy. The bonus check. She got a text from Max but ignored it as she jumped up.

"Ahhh! Finally! Some extra money!" she yelled as some people laughed along with her.

"Open it!" a few of her aunts shouted.

"Yep." Lisa said, ripping it open. Her phone vibrated fiercely, but again, she ignored it. Then the house phone rang. Lisa paused and looked at it.

"I'll get it!" her mom said, answering it.

"Tell Lisa not to open the envelope!" Sesshomaru shouted frantically, but, Lisa had pulled out the contents and everyone saw the furious look on her face.

"Too late." Her mom said. Lisa's grandpa had the video camera rolling, knowing he was about to get some really good footage.

"Two free tickets to a strip club…how nice." Lisa said shakily. She grabbed her can of Dew and drank the rest of it.

"That's some good Dew. Great." Lisa said with an insane smile.

"Is she ok?" Sesshomaru asked Lisa's mom.

"Here, I'll put you on speaker, but don't say anything, just listen." Her mom replied, hitting the speaker button. Sesshomaru had locked himself in the bathroom for some peace and quiet and he was about to not get it.

"If anyone was going to get any last minute gifts, I have an idea for one for myself. I'd like Inutaisho, my boss, to be right here tonight. I want him to be brought from his holiday celebration over there with all of the other rich pricks and I want him brought right here!" Lisa said loudly, walking into the dinning room to get some space, everyone followed, but they still kept their space.

"I'm want him brought with a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, fore fleshing lowlife, snake licking, dirt eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, bloodsucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless hopeless, heartless, fat ass, bug-eyed, stiff legged, fatty lipped, worm headed sack of monkey shit he is! HALLELUJA! HOLY SHIT! Where's the Tylenol?" Lisa bellowed angrily as she kicked over a chair and threw a box into the wall. Everyone stood silently still, too scared to say anything as she stormed into the bathroom.

"…" Sesshomaru sat on the other end with his eyes wide open. He had seen her angry, but he had never heard her use that colorful of words with a minor use of cursing.

"I'll call her back, I guess." Sesshomaru said.

"That'd be smart. Merry Christmas." Lisa's mom said, clicking the speaker off and hanging the phone up.

"Aaaaaaannnnd…CUT!" Lisa's grandpa chirped, turning his camera off. A few minutes later, crazy laughter was heard from Lisa.

"Hahahahaha!" a laugh from the bathroom echoed. Lisa came out; she stumbled a few times but kept on laughing.

"Grandpa, I'm going to put that on Myspace, don't lose it!" she said, sitting down on the couch.

"Lisa, honey, are you ok?" her dad asked worriedly.

"I'm…fine." She replied, blinking a few times, pulling out her cell phone.

"Lisa, what are you planning on doing about this?" her grandpa asked.

"Nothing…that won't guarantee my first class plane ticket to _Hell_!" Lisa laughed as she began calling up people.

Sesshomaru sat next to his mother at the family gathering. Yes, his parents were divorced, but she was still part of the family, considering how close of friends she was with Sesshomaru's uncle. He glanced at his father angrily.

"Something on your mind?" Kimi asked her son worriedly.

"Dad did something awful to Lisa. Here, I recorded her reaction on my phone." Sesshomaru said, playing the recording and handing it to his mother. Everyone stopped talking when they heard Kimi losing her mind as she began laughing. She covered her mouth as tears fell from her face.

"Kimi! What the hell is the matter with you?" Inutaisho snapped.

"Oh nothing…you sack of monkey shit." Kimi replied, making a few people snort. Sesshomaru put his phone in his pocket.

"I loved it." Kimi whispered.

"Me too. Very colorful." Sesshomaru replied.


	10. Chapter 10

This Is Revenge

Twas the night before Christmas…haha, yeah right. Some creatures were stirring that night. Lisa sat up in her old bedroom, sharing with her two cousins who were the same age as her. Lisa told the two girls, who were identical twins to go ahead and have the bed because she sure wasn't going to need it tonight. She sat in the chair in a black hooded jacket and black pants. Her cell phone vibrated as she heard a vehicle pull up. Lisa made sure the headlights weren't on to wake anyone.

'We're here.' Max texted.

'I see you.' Lisa replied. She walked into the living room where a few people slept and opened the door quietly, sneaking outside and running for the SUV. Lisa hopped in and smiled as James and Ashley waved at her, also dressed in all black. Max sat in the back, next to Danny from work, who also didn't get his bonus check but two pieces of blank paper. Lisa sat next to him and giggled as two people shot up from the back with two trash bags full of items.

"Ok, so here's the plan, there are seven of us so we split into teams. Me and Ashley will take the front and watch for any witnesses, Josh and Nate, you two will be on either side of the mansion, waiting to be called upon in a diversion emergency, Danny, you will be hiding in back, keeping an eye out for anything, and Max and Lisa, you two get the dirty job…sabotage from the inside." James explained as he turned onto a dark road, flipping his headlights on to see better.

"Alright, I have some night vision sunglasses for everyone, some spray cans, and some spy cameras that you hook onto your clothes to give us a view at where you are." Josh explained, distributing the items to everyone.

"And this trash bag has two more, smaller hand bags full of stuff that you two might need for sabotaging whatever it is you plan on sabotaging." Nate said, handing the two small bags to Max and Lisa.

"How do you plan on getting in?" Ashley asked as James turned onto another road slowly.

"I've been to that mansion countless times. They always leave the back door unlocked and the burglar alarm shut off." Lisa explained, pulling her hood up and pulling a bandana across her mouth. Max did the same as he tucked his pants inside his boots. Lisa pulled on black gloves and put on the night vision sunglasses, bumping Max's fist.

"Ok, I'm going to park a block away next to the trees. Everyone, remember the plan and follow it no matter what." James said, turning his SUV off and getting out. Everyone began putting on gloves, pulling up their hoods, covering their mouths and tucking their pants legs into their shoes or boots. The group swiftly and quietly ran up to the giant, white mansion that Lisa and Max headed to. They hid behind the bushes until James and Ashley were in place.

"Ok, signal Josh and Nate." James whispered to Ashley, who let out a low, but still audible whistle. Josh ran off to the right side of the mansion as Nate ran to the left. They both let out whistles as well. Danny took off towards Nate, heading to the back. He saw the huge pool and hot tub and stopped when some people were in it. Danny ran back to Nate.

"There are people in the hot tub!" Danny whispered worriedly. Nate pulled out his cell phone and sent a message to Lisa.

'Five people in hot tub: Inuyasha, Kikyo, Sango, Miroku, and some other chick with long black hair.' Lisa read it and sighed, looking at Max.

"What should we do?" Max asked Lisa who looked around.

"Scare them." Lisa said, whistling an eerie sound, like a bird dying.

"She said scare them shitless. Let's go." Nate said as he climbed the tree he stood next to. Danny nodded and climbed it with him. Once they found a good view of the hot tub, Nate took out firecrackers and smiled.

"Watch this." Nate whispered, waiting for Inuyasha and Kikyo to go in for a nice kiss. Nate lit the firecracker and threw it, watching it land right on Inuyasha's lap, exploding in the water and making a loud pop.

"Ahhh! What was that?" the unknown girl with black hair screamed.

"I don't know, Kagome." Miroku replied.

"Hold on a minute, is that a firecracker?" Sango asked, picking the remains of the firecracker out of the water.

"Yeah, it is! What the fuck? Who's out there?" Inuyasha barked loudly, pulling Kikyo into a protective hug.

"Your worst nightmare." Nate whispered, hurling a whole handful of firecrackers into the hot tub, laughing quietly as they all screamed and yelled, hopping out of the tub.

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP? GET TO BED!" Inutaisho bellowed, hanging out from his window without his shirt on.

"Dad! Someone is throwing firecrackers at us!" Inuyasha yelled back.

"Maybe it's Santa telling your dumb ass to get to bed, now!" another voice shouted from another window. Inuyasha mumbled, but he picked his crew up and walked inside. Nate climbed down with Danny and waited for the lights to go off before signaling Lisa and Max. He gave a whistle and listened as Max and Lisa went jogging by, running to the back and leaning against the wall.

"Ok, I'll go first, you follow my every move." Lisa whispered, turning her night vision glasses on.

"Yep." Max whispered back, turning his on and tensing as she opened the door quietly, stealthily sliding inside and motioning Max to follow. Max slid in as well, closing the door smoothly. His saw that they were in the kitchen, moving towards the island in the middle of the room. He bent over slightly like Lisa, following her figure, moving his legs in sync with hers. Just as they were about to exit the kitchen, Lisa heard footsteps and pointed at a potential hiding place. She and Max moved quietly to an indention where the trashcan used to be, but now the opened cabinet door covered it completely.

"Get behind there and stay still." Lisa whispered, moving in after Max, making her the one up front. The kitchen light flicked on as Max and Lisa turned off their night vision, holding their breaths as someone opened the door and spoke.

"Do you think Santa would get mad at me if I'm up getting a drink?" a young little girl with long brown hair with a small pony tail on the side of her head, with a brown teddy bear in her hand asked a tall, man with long white hair. Lisa and Max rolled their eyes. Of course, Sesshomaru just _had_ to be the one to interrupt their revenge on his father.

"No Rin, he will not be mad. I don't think he has even arrived yet." Sesshomaru replied with a yawn as he walked over to the sink. He opened a cabinet and grabbed a glass, filling it with water.

"Thank you. So, when does he come to put presents under the tree?" Rin said as she took the glass and sat at the island. Sesshomaru sat with her and exhaled, rubbing underneath his eyes with his fingers.

"When you are asleep." Sesshomaru replied, looking up at the open cabinet door, right where Max and Lisa hid.

"Is that door supposed to be open?" Sesshomaru asked, standing up and making his way over. Lisa pulled her phone out and sent a message.

'Nate! Kitchen distraction!' it read. Nate nodded as Danny threw a small pebble, hitting the window over the sink. Sesshomaru turned around completely, eyeing the window.

"Rin, you stay right there." Sesshomaru said, walking over to the door and opening it, looking outside. His eyes carefully scanned the area, his ears listening for any noises. After a minute, he closed the door and sat back down next to Rin, who was finishing her water.

"Alright, off to bed young lady." Sesshomaru said, watching Rin leave the kitchen. As soon as she was upstairs, Sesshomaru turned around, his arms crossed and he was smirking.

"It's safe to come out now, Lisa." Sesshomaru said, staring at the door. He smiled wider as Lisa punched the door closed, walking out and ripping her bandana from her face.

"Damn it all!" Lisa hissed.

"God sent you to ruin us, didn't he?" Max asked with a sigh.

"No, but I will help you." Sesshomaru said. Lisa looked up and frowned.

"Really?" she asked.

"Mhm. As long as you leave me and Rin out of it, your secret is safe with me." Sesshomaru said as Lisa put the bandana back over her mouth. She nodded.

"We will." Max and Lisa chanted as Sesshomaru turned the lights off.

"What was it, Sesshomaru?" Lisa heard Inutaisho ask.

"It was the Spirit of Christmas Past, come back to haunt you, Mr. Scrooge!" Sesshomaru replied sarcastically, walking out of the kitchen and to the staircase, walking upstairs and disappearing. Lisa and Max giggled at his comment as they left the kitchen. They walked into the hallway, stepping lightly to not bother the floorboards.

"What's first?" Max asked.

"Christmas presents." Lisa replied, heading into the huge living room and over to the lit up tree.

"And what are we doing?" Max asked.

"Switching labels…except Sesshomaru's and Rin's." Lisa replied, taking off labels and switching them so that people would get the wrong gifts. Max joined her and worked hurriedly, trying not to tear anything beyond repair.

"Wouldn't that make them look suspicious?" Max asked quietly.

"Rin is a sweet girl and Sesshomaru is never the bad boy. If anyone should be suspected, it should be Inuyasha." Lisa replied. After they finished switching labels, Lisa led Max to the stairs, gulping as she looked up.

"Here we go, into the inferno." Lisa whispered, making her way upstairs. Max followed, taking each step quietly. They walked up on all fours, equally distributing their weight so the steps wouldn't make much of a noise. Lisa reached the top first, standing up and looking around to make sure it was clear. She gave Max the thumbs up. Max rose up and noticed that there were three different hallways. Lisa leaned in to his ear.

"I will go left, you go right, we will meet in back, since there is another hallway, then come straight out of the middle one, go downstairs and then we can get the hell out of here." She whispered quietly. Max nodded and walked down the far right, pulling out a spray can, tagging random stuff along the doors.

Lisa trudged down the left hallway, trying to find an air vent, but she couldn't. She found Sesshomaru's room and did the secret knock. She heard him curse as he fell out of bed. She held back a laugh as his door swung open, showing him shirtless with pants on and his messy hair.

"This had better be good." He whispered grumpily.

"Where's the nearest air vent?" Lisa asked.

"The bathroom." Sesshomaru replied with a yawn.

"Thanks." Lisa whispered.

"Lisa," Sesshomaru whispered back.

"What?"

"Two rooms away from mine, my dad's friends think that it's appropriate to get it on in another person's house. Teach them a lesson so I can sleep."

"Got it." Lisa said, slipping into the bathroom. She shut the door and turned the light on. Sesshomaru stood in his doorway, wanting to see how well she worked. He heard the toilet flush and the water running. He shook his head. Did she just use the bathroom?

"No, that was too fast." Sesshomaru whispered. He saw Lisa open the door and wave at him.

"I'm not that stupid." She whispered, holding up a bucket of water and a mop. Sesshomaru watched her go down to the busy couple's room and set the bucket on the fancy doorframe that stuck out about three inches. She used the mop and the stepping stool for a kid to stand at the sink she found in the bathroom to help steady it. Sesshomaru shook his head as Lisa pounded the door heavily, then taking off towards him.

"What are you," Sesshomaru began.

"Get inside!" Lisa hissed, pushing him into his room and closing the door behind her, she text Max to hide in a bathroom. She and Sesshomaru heard somebody open the door, knocking the broom off and causing the bucket to fall.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" a man's pained yell was heard.

"What is it honey?" a woman asked.

"A bucket just fell on my fucking dick!" the man screamed angrily.

"Full of ice cold water, too." Lisa giggled. Sesshomaru sighed as he let out a few chuckles.

"Stay in here and tell Max not to move." He said, walking outside along with everyone else. Lisa sent a message to Max who stayed put.

After a few minutes of arguing, Inutaisho told everyone to go back to sleep, and told his friend, "I'm sure you can get it back up, stop complaining."

"Whatever you are planning, hurry up and get it done. My dad is starting to suspect things." Sesshomaru said, getting in his bed and yawning. Lisa sighed. She wished she could be in bed, too.

"Good night. Thanks." Lisa whispered, walking out. She ran back to the bathroom and pulled out a screwdriver, undoing the air vent. Then she pulled out a huge wheel of the most disgusting smelling cheese that Nate could find. He did his job well. Lisa held her nose as she pushed the wheel of cheese as far back as she could, closing the vent and re-screwing it shut. She got out a paint can and a paintbrush.

"Damn, what _isn't_ in here?" Lisa asked with a smile. She walked down the hallway, painting red streaks along the nice white walls and doors. She and Max met at Inutaisho's room, smiling.

"Nice making the bucket fall on that guy's hard-on." Max whispered.

"Thanks." She whispered back, painting an evil smiley face. Then she wrote, "Why so serious?" next to it. She made sure not to make it look like her handwriting.

"Let's go." Lisa whispered, walking back to the stairs, still painting a red line on the wall as Max spray painted a green on the other wall. They walked downstairs and tore up the kitchen, the dinning room and even the basement before walking out the front door. They ran to the SUV along with James, Ashley, Nate, Josh, and Danny, laughing as the sun rose.

"Don't we feel intelligent?" James asked with a laugh.

"No, but I do feel better." Lisa said.

James dropped her off first as she walked back up to her house. Lisa walked to her bedroom and collapsed on the floor where a mattress, pillows and blankets awaited her. She opened the vicodin bottle and took a whole one, then passed out for a while, not wanting to be woken for anything.


	11. Chapter 11

Christmas

AN- I know, I'm a little late. XD

Lisa groaned as her annoying little brother and three cousins the same age as him jumped around her, screaming about Santa Claus visiting.

"Lisaaaaa! Santa came!" Anthony screamed, shaking his elder sister awake.

"As he does every year, go away." Lisa grumbled, letting her head fall back on the pillow.

"Mom said get up now!" Anthony ordered defiantly.

"NO!" Lisa shouted in her pillow that seemed to grow softer with each passing moment.

"I'm telling on you!" Anthony whined.

"Do it!" Lisa replied unworriedly. Anthony and their three cousins ran out of the room, slamming the door shut. Lisa looked at the alarm clock in the room and groaned. It was nine and she had just gotten home three hours ago. Lisa closed her eyes and heard a knock on the front door and heard it open. A few minutes later, Lisa heard a knock on the bedroom door.

"Lisa? Lisa wake up, someone is here to see you." She heard her mom call. Lisa stood up and figured she may want to change out of her paint-stained clothes first. She threw them off and put on her T-shirt and pajama pants with cute little penguins on them.

"Shit, looks like 'Happy Feet' is playing on my ass." Lisa grumbled tiredly as she walked down the hallway. She yawned with her eyes shut and almost stopped breathing when she heard his voice.

"Merry Christmas, Lisa." Inutaisho chimed happily. Lisa's eyes shot open angrily.

"And have a happy go to Hell!" Lisa snapped back, her eyes moving to Sesshomaru who moved his hand across his neck, telling her not to mention anything about sneaking in and destroying everything.

"I see you are still angry about the Christmas bonus." Inutaisho stated.

"Angry? No, you've seen me angry. This is way, way, beyond angry, this is like…super pissed!" Lisa spat at him, taking a step forward.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Lisa, calm down!" her dad said, holding his arm out in front of her. Inutaisho stared at Lisa, almost as if studying her.

"You look really tired Lisa. Been up all night?" Inutaisho asked with a smile that made Lisa shiver.

"Yeah, I was hoping I would see Santa Claus and ask him what he got me." Lisa said back sarcastically.

"There is no need to be sarcastic, I'm not _interrogating_ you or anything." Inutaisho replied back with equal sarcasm.

"Come to think of it, she did leave last night." One of Lisa's cousins chirped. It was one of the twins. Lisa felt her face drain as she looked at Sesshomaru who was trying to think of something.

"Oh really now? She did?" Lisa's mom asked, glaring down on Lisa.

"Ok, yeah, I did, so what?" Lisa snapped, trying to think of a lie.

"What were you doing?" her dad asked, stepping forward. Lisa opened her mouth, but stopped when Sesshomaru stepped up next.

"She was with me." He said, making everyone freeze up. Lisa smiled.

"Yeah, I was with him." She agreed. Inutaisho didn't look too happy right about now.

"Where were _you_ then?" Inutaisho asked his son who shrugged slightly.

"I took her to go see The Spirit, as part of a Christmas present for her." Sesshomaru said back calmly. Lisa sighed and looked at Inutaisho.

"So, you went to the midnight show?" Inutaisho asked with a whine.

"Yes, and if you still don't believe us, call the theater." Sesshomaru stated, glancing at Lisa.

"No, no, I believe you, it's just that…" Inutaisho trailed off.

"What?" Lisa's mom asked, handing him a cup of coffee. She asked Sesshomaru if he wanted any, but he declined.

"A bunch of hoodlums broke into my house and destroyed it. They didn't steal anything, just did an awful paint job." Inutaisho sighed, sipping some warm coffee.

"Oh no…that sucks." Lisa said, trying to sound sympathetic, but even her dad looked at her weird when she said it, so Lisa decided not speak until spoken to.

"Well, I can tell you that even though Lisa was spitting fire last night, she would never destroy another's home." Her mom said, giving Lisa an odd stare. Lisa sighed. Her mom knew damn well it was her who did it.

"So, was it a good movie?" Lisa's mom asked the two young adults.

"It was decent. Not that great, but not that bad." Lisa said.

"I agree. I didn't really care for it much, though." Sesshomaru added.

"That's because it had like, ten sexy women on there and only one hot guy." Lisa chirped with a smile. Sesshomaru pushed her playfully.

"You saw the movie with me, not Max." Sesshomaru retorted.

"Well, sorry to bother you." Inutaisho said, walking to the door and setting down the empty cup on a table.

"Oh, no problem! Have a Merry Christmas!" Lisa's mom chirped, closing the door. Just as it shut, she turned around angrily.

"Lisa! Vandalizing? Did you forget that you're eighteen now? You can go to prison just to get back at him for not giving you some extra money!" Lisa's mom hollered. Lisa sighed and laughed.

"I didn't get caught, that's all that matters." Lisa argued.

"I can only hope that you stop before you do! Grow up! Life isn't going to be easy and you won't always get what you want!"

"I don't _want_ the money, Mick Jagger, I _need_ it!" Lisa yelled, walking back to her room and slamming the door shut.

"Lisa! We're opening gifts! Get back out here!" Lisa's mom shouted.

"Open them without me!" Lisa barked, falling back asleep.

A few hours later, Lisa's cell phone vibrated violently. She found it in her covers and clicked it on.

"Hello?" she answered groggily.

"If you were having some money problems, you should've told me." Sesshomaru said sternly. Lisa let out an irritated moan.

"I don't like asking friends for money, no matter how rich they are." She replied, sitting up slowly.

"Your mom knew, didn't she?"

"Yes, unlike your dad, my mom actually still has a working brain."

"Ha, true. So, what did you get?"

"I don't know, I went back to sleep."

"Ah, well, I received some…_interesting_ things." Sesshomaru said with a slightly worried tone in his voice.

"Interesting how?"

"I got seven gifts total, four of them being boxes of condoms."

"Hahahahahaha!" Lisa cried out loudly. She heard Sesshomaru kind of chuckle but then stop.

"It's not funny." He said weakly, knowing she wouldn't let this die out anytime soon.

"They must think that you're super busy!" Lisa giggled.

"No…they think _we're_ busy." Sesshomaru replied with a groan. Lisa stopped laughing immediately.

"Yeah, my uncle, Ed, found out that you got Dee Donk for me, so he keeps starting rumors that you and I are engaged and what not."

"So, let me get this straight, I buy you a guinea pig, he thinks that the guinea pig is a symbol of my proposal to you?"

"Correct, hubby." Lisa said.

"Does he not think that if I wanted to propose to you that I have the money to get you a nice ring if not take you out to eat?"

"Apparently not."

"Ridiculous. Well, my mom agrees with your mom. She thinks that we should have at least ten kids."

"I only have enough names made up for the first seven. The last three will have to be Test Subjects X, Y and Z."

"…Anyway, I got one family sized box of Trojans from her."

"Hahahaha! Oh Jesus! Hahahaha!"

"Shut up, it's not funny!"

"Haha, yes it is!"

"Moving on. Inuyasha, being his usual, immature self, got me another box of Trojans. That dumb ass needs them more than I."

"Uh oh, you're mad. You only cuss when you're mad. I have an idea, stick them back under his pillow."

"Oops."

"What?"

"I already stuck them into the pie that my dad is eating right now."

"Haha, I love you. Oh, wait, which pie?" Lisa asked.

"The chocolate one."

"Max put laxatives in that one last night."

"Oh, that should work out famously then."

"Hahaha!"

"Then, my uncle said he didn't know what to get me, so what should you get someone when you have no clue what to get them…condoms of course. Screw candles, random items of clothing or fake mustaches." Sesshomaru continued with irritated sarcasm. Sesshomaru knew Lisa was laughing at his comments, not him, but still, he was laughed at earlier when opening the damned things.

"Ok, then another box, got it. What were the other things?" Lisa asked, trying to get him to calm down.

"I got Get Smart on DVD."

"I love that movie."

"I thought it was funny. Then I received a book."

"Of course, you bookworm. What book?"

"I Am America And So Can You, by Stephen Colbert."

"I hate you! I love Stephen twenty times more than you!"

"I'll let you read it…after me."

"Bitch. Ok, what was the last thing?"

"A few pairs of boxers."

"Oooh, sexy."

"Not really. Since when are cute little penguins sexy?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhhahahahahahahaha!" Sesshomaru heard Lisa's squeal of enjoyment loud and clear, even though she tried to muffle it in her pillow. Sesshomaru decided to let her laugh and have her fun.

"We match!" he heard her giggle.

"We match? What article of clothing do you own with cute little penguins on them? Please don't say underwear."

"My pajama pants!" she laughed in response. Sesshomaru sighed. He remembered that she was wearing them when he was over there earlier.

"Well, I guess that we can wear our penguins when we get in the mood, right sweetie?" Sesshomaru asked mockingly.

"Oh yeah, that'd be the day." Lisa replied, walking into the front room where everyone was gathered, drinking beer and having a good time. She realized that she had at least seven gifts under the tree. The small box shaped ones worried her. If Sesshomaru's more 'proper' family got him four boxes of condoms, she could only imagine what her less 'proper' family got her.

"Hey, I'll call you back." Lisa said to Sesshomaru.

"Alright. Bye." He replied. Lisa sat down as Uncle Ed handed her the small box. Lisa sighed and ripped off the wrapping, almost shitting a brick when she saw that he got her a family pack of Trojan condoms.

"Now don't go getting eager, I meant those to be for you and Sesshomaru only." Ed said, suppressing a burp.

"You're a fucking creep." Lisa growled as her dad walked in.

"Condoms? Who the fuck got you those?" he asked viciously. Lisa pointed at Ed without looking up.

"You sick bastard! They are friends! FRIENDS! Don't you dare give my daughter condoms again!" her dad hollered angrily.

"Haha, it's only a joke, calm down!" Ed yelled back.

"Yeah, well, the joke is wearing thin!" Lisa shouted. Someone else handed her a present and smiled.

"Thanks Grandma!" Lisa chirped when she opened it. Fortune telling cards along with the notebook her grandma wrote in to tell how to do it.

"Ahh, these are beautiful." Lisa said, sifting through the cards and looking at their artwork.

"You always told me you wanted some." Her grandma replied sweetly. Lisa put them down and smiled as an even bigger box was handed to her. She ripped it open and began laughing. Xbox 360. She was tired of borrowing Max's and now she had her own. The other gifts were games to go along with it.

"Thanks everyone…except you, dickwad!" Lisa said to Ed. Lisa walked to her room and called up Sesshomaru.

"Guess what?" Lisa asked him.

"Hm?" he grunted.

"I got a box of condoms."

"What? You did? Let me guess, courtesy of good, old Uncle Ed?"

"Yes sir. Hahaha, my dad just about knocked his lights out."

"Too bad he didn't, huh?"

"Yeah…too bad. Well, I have to go shower and what not, see you tomorrow?"

"Actually, I won't be home tomorrow, but I will be home Saturday."

"Oh…uh…ok. Bye."

"Bye." He said quickly, hanging up. Lisa frowned. Where was the fire? He seemed plenty eager to get off the phone with her.


	12. Chapter 12

We Didn't

A few weeks had passed after Christmas and Lisa hadn't showed up for work much and she hadn't called Max or James for a while.

"Heh, hey Maxi-Pad, what's wrong?" James taunted as he continuously hit the button on the controller.

"Oh, yeah, Maxi-Pad, like I haven't heard _that_ one before!" Max shouted, running for cover and shooting at James on the way out.

"You liked it." James said slyly as Max's character hit the ground, dead.

"Yeah, have you heard from Lisa?" Max asked, turning the PS3 off. James took a long drink from his Pepsi, shaking his head.

"No, it's been a few days." James finally said, eating some chips.

"I'm getting worried, she hasn't called me either." Max said, pulling out his cell phone and sending a text to her. James nodded.

"Yeah, I've noticed that she's been a little off lately." James commented.

"Maybe it's because you keep pumping her full of vicodin." Max grouched. James frowned at the comment.

"I've only given her two bottles for the past month and a half. She splits them in half and takes them, I'm sure you've watched her." James defended sternly. Max exhaled with annoyance.

"That's not the point! The point is that you're her friend! Tell her no! She's not going to kill you or stop being your friend just because you won't give her any! You know she's had a problem with pain killers in the past, why would you even fuel that?" Max hissed, standing up swiftly. James stood up and sighed.

"Look, I gave them to her when her douche bag roommate was torturing her by bringing Katie over and making her hang with them." James said.

"That was a long time ago."

"Uhhhh, yeah, I told you that I gave her two bottles and she manages them so they last for a long time. Lisa's a big girl, she can handle herself." James retorted, sitting back down with Max who exhaled.

"I hope so." Max said, frowning as his phone rang.

"Hello?" Max answered, putting it on speakerphone.

"Why are you calling Lisa so much?" Sesshomaru asked irritably.

"Oh, no reason, we just called to ask where you hid her body because I have a good place for it." James also said with a hint of irritation. There was a long pause on the other end as some rustling was heard in the background.

"What?" Lisa's voice rang. She sounded sick.

"Are you ok? You haven't been at work for a while." Max asked.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just ate something that my aunt cooked, but it wasn't cooked all the way, so I got salmonella. It sucks, but I can come back to work tomorrow." Lisa said.

"Almost three weeks?" James asked suspiciously.

"Well, you see, I'm a jackass and brought it home, because it tasted really good and when I got better, I didn't think that it caused me to be sick, so I ate it again…like a jackass." Lisa explained with a small laugh.

"What's the dickhead's problem? Is he the brand new Lisa Nazi or what?" Max asked as he ate a chip.

"Who? Sesshomaru? He's pissed because he ate some of it too, but he won't get sick, so he has to work." Lisa said.

"I am not!" Sesshomaru's angered reply was heard.

"No really, what crawled up his ass and died?" James asked with a laugh.

"I don't know. The thing you speak of has been malfunctioning for a few weeks." Lisa said with a sigh.

"Ah, well, is he treating you bad?" James asked as Max ate more chips.

"No, it works fine with me, but in general it's really, really…uh,"

"Grouchy?" Max asked.

"Yeah, that word." Lisa chirped.

"When isn't he grouchy?" Max and James asked simultaneously.

"Well it works fine a lot, it's just been the past few weeks." Lisa insisted.

"Uh huh." James replied sarcastically.

"Sure. Well, let us know when he starts getting bad. We'll come over there and beat his ass." Max said.

"Haha, ok. Bye!" Lisa laughed, turning her phone off. She set her phone on the table as she lay back down on the couch, covering up with the blanket. She watched as Sesshomaru strode over to the other couch, setting down and cursing as he realized that he forgot his drink.

"Here, I'll go get it." Lisa said, standing up.

"Sit back down, I've got it." Sesshomaru snapped, pointing at her. Lisa held her hands up in the air.

"Do you want me to get on my stomach and put my hands behind my back, too?" she asked irritably.

"Don't fuck with me, I'm not in the mood." Sesshomaru said back, sitting back down on the other couch.

"Have I done something? You've been really off with me lately." Lisa asked, still standing. Sesshomaru unfolded the newspaper and held it in front of his face to read it and ignore Lisa.

"I get it." Lisa mumbled, walking down the hallway and into her room, closing the door. She let out an angry groan, reaching for the vicodin bottle. She popped a whole one in her mouth and then lay down on her bed, awaiting the medicine to kick in.

The next day at work, Max and Inutaisho watched tensely and with much worry as Sesshomaru and Lisa scuffled around the office floor, ordering and yelling at one another as they went by each other. They even yelled at each other when the other one was clear across the room.

"Lisa! I needed that list ten minutes ago!" Sesshomaru shouted.

"I gave it to you _twenty_ minutes ago! It's in the blue folder in your other hand!" Lisa hollered back. Inutaisho looked at Max who shrugged.

"I don't know what's going on." Max said honestly.

"I'm almost scared that we are taking that business trip together now. They are awful to one another." Inutaisho said incredulously, taking a sip of coffee.

"Goddamn it! Lisa! Is this your jacket that I just tripped over?" Sesshomaru barked furiously.

"No, you stupid, clumsy dickwad! My jacket is in my office!" Lisa yelled back irritably as she hurriedly read through another contract while walking around and handing different workers some papers.

"Don't you dare call me a dickwad!" Sesshomaru growled.

"FINE! Have it your way, dickweed!" Lisa shouted as she tripped over a trashcan.

"Hey Sesshomaru! Is that your fucking brain, oh no, it's just trash!" Lisa called sarcastically.

"Oh, ha, ha, you are comical!" Sesshomaru replied with equal sarcasm.

"So, uh, yeah, when is that important business trip again?" Max asked Inutaisho worriedly.

"This upcoming Thursday." The white haired boss replied, staring at Sesshomaru and Lisa, who had found one another and were now yelling in each other's faces.

"I didn't write that! That's something some stupid retard by the name of Sesshomaru would write!" Lisa yelled, pointing out a certain use of words.

"I haven't even touched this! You're the only one who has!" Sesshomaru hollered back.

"Not true and you know it! I always hand it back to you to have another person look over it and check for any mistakes! So whoever checked it, didn't catch it or they checked it, rewrote it and made it sound worse!" Lisa replied angrily. Sesshomaru slapped his forehead with his hand, groaning with annoyance.

"I think you have some chronic lying disease or something! You never gave this to me!"

"Oh, I have a chronic lying disease? I have a fucking lying problem? You're the one who is walking around like the world owes him something! I may have a lying problem, Mr. Arishima, but _you're_ the one with the ten foot icy pole shoved up his ass!" Lisa barked back angrily.

"Cussing will get you nowhere." Sesshomaru stated.

"Aren't you the one who said, "Don't _fuck_ with me," yesterday? Hm, I believe so! Case dismissed! You lose and I'm done! Get someone else to help you!" Lisa hollered, throwing her papers on the floor as she stormed by Inutaisho.

"I'm taking a break!" she growled.

"Perfectly fine." Inutaisho said calmly. He wasn't even going to attempt piss her off more. He saw Max walk up to Sesshomaru and pick up the papers.

"Here, I'll help you." Max said to him kindly. Sesshomaru exhaled quietly.

"Thanks." Sesshomaru replied exasperatingly. Max reorganized the papers and exhaled.

"What do you need me to do?" Max asked, brushing his now curly brown hair out of his face.

"This needs to be handed to Julia so she can call them up. Also, that contract needs to be checked for any loopholes, I want these assholes by the balls." Sesshomaru said calmly, but Max could tell he was completely distraught. Inutaisho walked up and took the papers from his son.

"You need a break. Take one." Inutaisho said, opening the folder and reading over the paper that Sesshomaru and Lisa had been arguing about.

"Oh! I changed this part and I was going to ask Lisa if it still sounded ok. I guess not, since she said it was something a retard would write." Inutaisho chuckled with slight humor. Sesshomaru looked away from his father.

"Max, can you hand this to John on your way down to Julia?" Inutaisho asked kindly, handing Max the paper and watching him walk off. Inutaisho placed his hand on Sesshomaru's shoulder.

"I think you owe a certain sailor mouthed girl an apology. Besides, cussing is her way of showing her anger." Inutaisho said, walking away and leaving his son alone to think.

Sesshomaru walked down the stairs to the next floor where Lisa sat in the lounge. He saw her pop open a pill bottle cap and take a full sized pill. Sesshomaru frowned, wondering if she had been to the doctor about anything other than the salmonella episode. He sighed and walked in, observing her hand quickly hiding the bottle in her pocket. She didn't look at him, but she knew he was there.

"Ready to talk?" Sesshomaru asked her, placing his hands inside his pocket as he leaned against the wall.

"I was ready yesterday and you blew me off." Lisa replied calmly as she took a bite of her sandwich.

"But I wasn't ready."

"Then you should've told me instead of ignoring me."

"Alright, well, if you're ready and I'm ready, can we get this over with? You know I hate fighting with you."

"You first." Lisa mumbled, scooting over on the couch to let him sit down. Sesshomaru sat down lightly, trying to think of how to tell her his problem. Well, it was more of her problem than his, but the problem bothered him as much as it did her.

"I really don't know how to explain this."

"Try harder." Lisa said curtly. Sesshomaru sighed and decided to just tell her.

"Remember how you've had at least six stalkers?"

"Ten."

"Well, my cousin is certainly one of them, I'm sure you remember him, he's moving here…to our building." Sesshomaru said. Lisa's eyes widened as she turned her head to him.

"N…no, not him. Please say it's not _him_." Lisa asked, her eyes filling with tears. Sesshomaru nodded in response.

"Naraku is coming to town…next week." Sesshomaru sighed with annoyance.

"Fuck me." Lisa moaned as she held her head in her hands.

"And so is his twin, Kagura."

"Fuck me sideways." Lisa growled, stomping the floor. Kagura loved Lisa so much, that she wanted to be Lisa. Kagura imitated everything Lisa does or says because Kagura thinks that if she were more like Lisa, Sesshomaru would like her more, too. Then, to top off this wonderful sundae of doom, Naraku, the rotten cherry, loved Lisa so much, that he would do anything to be near her. Anything.

"I was being awful to you because I was thinking, maybe if I angered you enough, you would move out so he couldn't find you." Sesshomaru explained.

"Well, thanks for making me feel like hammered shit, Sesshomaru. I definitely feel the love. You should've just told me." Lisa said with a yawn.

"I knew telling you would make you _not_ want to move out. You're stubborn and hard-headed, telling you that he was coming would've made you stand your ground and not move." Sesshomaru replied.

"And that's a few of my good qualities." Lisa said with a laugh.

"You are not worried?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Psh! Unbeknownst to him, I remembered where I stashed the butcher knife."

"Plus, I will be around to help stash the body."

"Hahaha, fa' sho'!"

"So, are we good?"

"Yeah, I wasn't really mad at you, it's just that screaming at you is so much fun."

"Glad I can help." Sesshomaru replied sarcastically as he and Lisa walked back upstairs to finish what work they started.


	13. Chapter 13

Memory Lapse

"Lisa, wake up, now." Sesshomaru called as he knocked on her bedroom door. Lisa yawned in response as she sat up, scratching her messy hair.

"James and Ashley are waiting for you, too." He added as he walked back down the hallway. Lisa opened the door and walked out into the living room, waving at her two friends.

"Hey Lisa!" Ashley chirped.

"Hey." Lisa said back with a yawn.

"So, are you going to pack or are you going to go as you are?" Sesshomaru called from the kitchen. Lisa frowned as she rubbed her head. What in the hell was he talking about?

"What are you talking about?" Lisa asked, getting three concerned looks from each of her friends. Lisa looked at them all and frowned.

"What?" she asked. James pointed at himself and Lisa.

"You asked us to come over and stay at your condo for the next five days while you're gone." James said with a look of complete disbelief. Lisa frowned.

"When did I say that?" She asked.

"Last night." Ashley said. Lisa looked up as Sesshomaru walked up to her. He clicked on a little flashlight and shined it in her eyes, making her flinch and step back.

"What the hell?" she snapped.

"You're high." He said simply, crossing his arms.

"I am not!" Lisa shouted back angrily. She knew she was lying. A few too many vicodin last night, that's why she didn't wake up on time and it's probably why she didn't remember talking to Ashley and James last night either. Sesshomaru just stayed silent and cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm not high." Lisa insisted calmly.

"Your pupils are dilated." Sesshomaru said.

"They always are. I have blue eyes, the pupils are usually bigger on blue eyed beauties, now, leave me alone." Lisa said simply, walking back to her room. Lisa pulled her suitcase out from underneath her bed and began packing it with clothes and video games because Max sent her a text saying he was bringing his PS2. She jumped in the shower, quickly washing up and growling as she heard a knock on her door.

"Make sure you dress nice, we have to go to the meeting right as we get off the plane!" Sesshomaru called, buttoning up his shirt.

"Got it!" Lisa yelled back, rinsing the suds out of her hair. She jumped out and started blow-drying her hair while brushing her teeth. She got in her nice dress clothes and put gel in her hair, spicing it up. Lisa popped another vicodin in her mouth, a half of one this time, and threw the bottle in her suitcase, hoping that it would last her. She walked out into the living room and pointed to a piece of paper.

"That's a list of all the foods you can feed my little baby, Dee Donk." Lisa said, pointing to the small guinea pig that Ashley held.

"Awww, he's so cute." Ashley said. Lisa picked him up and cuddled him softly, handing him back to Ashley.

"Here, I will carry your things and I'm driving." Sesshomaru said, jingling his keys and picking up Lisa's suitcase.

"Ok, thanks." Lisa said, waving to James and Ashley who waved back. Lisa followed Sesshomaru to the elevator and sighed when the doors closed.

"What pain killers are you abusing this time?" Sesshomaru asked, looking over at his friend. Lisa smiled at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lisa said simply.

"Uh huh, sure. We'll see about that." Sesshomaru said, waiting for the doors to open.

"Whatever. Mind your own business Sesshomaru. I'm not abusing anything." Lisa growled irritably. They hopped in his white Escalade and drove away. Lisa opened her phone and sighed.

"Can you pick up Max? His sister wrecked his car." Lisa asked, putting on her sunglasses.

"Sure." Sesshomaru answered, turning onto a different street and speeding towards Max's house. Lisa sent Max a text and a few minutes later, he came jogging out, opening the door and placing his suitcase in first before sliding in himself.

"Sorry. I got another car and my sister wrecked it again! Damn, she's paying for it now!" Max whined, putting on his seatbelt as Sesshomaru frowned.

"Twice now? Where did she get her license?" Sesshomaru asked incredibly.

"I don't know. God, she steals my keys when I'm asleep and then she fucking drives home drunk! Last time she wrecked into a tree, this time she wrecked into the garage. It's pissing me off, I only have enough money to make payments, not go buy another car." Max shot as Lisa shook her head.

Sesshomaru drove to his father's mansion and Lisa felt a sickening pain in her stomach as he pulled up in the driveway. She got out and shifted around nervously with Max, wondering who should enter first.

"It's alright, he still has no clue that it was you two." Sesshomaru reassured with a smile as he grabbed his and Lisa's suitcases from the back, walking over to his father's black Escalade. Max grabbed his own and made a quiet comment about rich people and Escalades.

"Right." Lisa agreed as Inutaisho walked out with his suitcase. He and Max placed theirs next to the other two. Inutaisho climbed in the driver's seat, Sesshomaru in the passenger's, and Max and Lisa sat in back. They put on their seatbelts as Inutaisho pulled out of the driveway.

"How is everyone this morning?" he asked, putting on sunglasses and speeding onto the highway.

"Fine." Sesshomaru said, pulling out the newspaper.

"Been better." Max grumbled.

"Mmm." Lisa moaned. She didn't even feel like replying.

"What's wrong Max? Lisa?" Inutaisho asked, glancing in the rearview mirror at them.

"My sister wrecked my old car, so I let her fix it up and have it while I went and bought a new one, well, her car was towed and she stole my car, drove it drunk and crashed." Max explained, replying to a text sent by a friend.

"That's horrible. If you want, you can borrow one of my cars until you get it back up…financially speaking." Inutaisho added, seeing Max and Lisa's smirks. Sesshomaru let out a sigh, but he continued being quiet.

"Lisa, what's wrong with you?" Inutaisho asked as she looked up.

"I can't seem to remember things lately. It's getting on my nerves." Lisa explained.

"It all comes with old age. Haha, I'm kidding. Well, are you stressed?"

"A little bit."

"Hm, that's odd. I don't know what could be causing it."

"Oh well." Lisa replied, trying to cut off the conversation. Inutaisho was being way too nice and cooperative today.

The car ride to the airport was semi-quiet; some conversations peaked but nothing impressive. They all got out and carried their suitcases in, pulling out smaller bags for entertainment on the plane ride.

"Four for first class to L.A.?" the lady asked, making sure they were the right people.

"Mhm." Inutaisho nodded grabbing the tickets and handing them out to everyone. Lisa moaned as they walked up to the metal detector. She definitely had some sort of metal on. Inutaisho walked through first and it beeped. He emptied his pockets and showed them his belt buckle was metal and stepped through it once more. Nothing happened as he waited for Sesshomaru, who walked through and it didn't even go off.

"Of course." Max and Lisa mumbled with envy. The guy never wore anything that went off in airports. Never. He could walk up in there with a handgun, walk through the metal detector, and they would all find out that it was made of petrified wood that turned a metallic color.

"Next." The man said to Max who let them search his pockets as he walked through. It beeped and they searched him again. Max rolled his eyes at Lisa as he held his arms up, exhaling impatiently. He walked through again and it beeped once more.

"Son of a bitch. It's my belt!" Max snapped, unbuttoning his nice silky black jacket and flashing it to them. They nodded and let him pass. Lisa handed them her bag and let them search her pockets. She walked through and the metal detector beeped. Lisa exhaled and tapped her belt and they let her go.

"That was epic." Inutaisho chuckled as he elbowed Max playfully, who huffed in return. Lisa hugged him.

"You're having a bad day, nothing more." She said to him, patting his back.

"I hope so. I mean, God could be coming down on me with some heavy shit or something."

"Nah, he couldn't give a rat's ass about karma." Lisa replied as they handed the attendant their tickets. They all found first class and sat together. Max and Lisa sat next to each other as Sesshomaru and Inutaisho sat behind them, talking about family matters.

"So, he's coming to the city, huh?" Inutaisho asked with a tone of no hinting satisfaction.

"That's what he said at Christmas. He even told me when." Sesshomaru replied with a yawn.

"Hey Lisa, if that little bastard, Naraku, gives you any problems, you call me up and I will handle him." Inutaisho said to Lisa who smirked.

"Oh yes, you're right before the cops and my hit man." She replied sarcastically. Inutaisho chuckled as Max and Lisa bumped fists.

"I hate planes." Max grumbled angrily.

"Better than a wrecked car." Lisa responded with a laugh.

"Haha, true. Stupid bitch." Max said.


	14. Chapter 14

He's Got It

"I spy something blue." Lisa said as Max looked around hopelessly. He smiled.

"That dude's shirt?" he asked.

"Nope." Lisa chirped.

"Inutaisho's shirt?"

"No."

"I give up."

"The sky."

"Damn. Ok, ok, my turn. I spy with my little eye, something red."

"The flight attendant's lipstick?"

"I hate you."

"Haha, are you serious? I was just kidding." Lisa laughed quietly.

"Can't you two do something more productive?" Inutaisho asked as he went over the business papers. Max and Lisa turned around to where only their eyes were seen.

"Well, we can't. I'm gay and Lisa refuses to have sex with anyone." Max explained.

"Yep." Lisa agreed as Inutaisho and Sesshomaru groaned.

"I said _productive_, not _reproductive_!" Inutaisho hissed angrily.

"Daaaaaaamn, who peed in your Cheerios?" Lisa asked, only her deep-sea blue eyes staring at him over the seat. Max snickered as Inutaisho glared back.

"No one peed in my Cheerios! I didn't even have Cheerios!" Inutaisho argued.

"You know they're just doing this to annoy you, right?" Sesshomaru asked his father as he turned a page in his book. Inutaisho sighed as he leaned back in his seat.

"Don't you two have anything better to do than annoy me?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, no we don't!" Max laughed.

"Hahaha!" Lisa giggled as Inutaisho sighed heavily. The two young adults turned around in their seats, letting the boredom sit in once more.

"Mock." Lisa said.

"Yeah." Max echoed.

"Ing."

"Yeah."

"Bird."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"No singing!" Inutaisho snapped as Max and Lisa rolled their eyes.

"Fine." Max said back.

"Phrase about my gun, rhyme about my loot, phrase about these haters I sometimes have to shoot." Lisa rapped.

"Rhyme about my clothes, props to my hometown, lyrics that say nothing 'cause that's how we get down." Max continued.

"Phrase about my clique, don't step to me punk, gratuitous rhyme about keeping it crunk."

"Big ups to our genre, we do it our own way, it's just too bad our songs don't have anything to say." Max rapped.

"Generic crunk rap!" Lisa said loudly.

"WHAT?" Max screamed.

"Generic crunk rap!"

"YEAH!"

"We don't mess around!" Lisa finished.

"Uh!"

"Generic crunk rap!"

"WHAT?"

"Generic crunk rap!"

"YEAH!"

"Generic crunk rap!"

"WHAT?"

"You like our dirty sound!" Lisa laughed.

"Lisa! Max! Shut up!" Sesshomaru snapped this time. Lisa and Max bumped fists as they started laughing.

I few more hours, and random outbursts later, the plane landed in beautiful L.A. Inutaisho led his employees/young adults over to pick up their bags and get out of the airport.

"Alright, I have a limo waiting for us outside and the president and his associates of the business that we are trying to screw over insisted that we meet them at a restaurant. I hope you're hungry." Inutaisho explained as two guys took everyone's suitcases and put them in the trunk as a third man opened the limo door and let everyone in.

"Ah! Dude! It's an Escalade limo! Who would've guessed?" Max cheered sarcastically as he sat down next to Lisa.

"Hey, hate on me all you want, you have to admit, this is pretty bad ass!" Inutaisho chuckled as Sesshomaru rolled his eyes.

"Did you just try to talk to us like a teenager?" Lisa asked Inutaisho.

"What? Did I fail?" he asked.

"Miserably." Sesshomaru commented.

"Hey! It understands!" Max laughed as the limo started up.

"What do you mean?" Sesshomaru asked.

"You've been quiet almost the entire time. I just assumed that you forgot how to speak and understand English." Max explained.

"Why did you call me an "it"?"

"Just to add to the insult. Did it work?" Max asked seriously. Lisa and Inutaisho looked at one another nervously.

"Calm down, children!" Inutaisho said loudly as Lisa requested the driver to put in her "Old School Metallica" CD.

"DO UNTO OTHERS AS THEY DONE TO YOU!" the lead singer screamed as the guitar jammed away. Lisa and Max lipped the words perfectly as they looked out the windows, laughing as people looked at the limo excitedly.

A few minutes later, the limo came to a permanent stop in a private parking lot. They all stepped out and Inutaisho called for a small meeting before they walked into the restaurant.

"A few rules here. Do not make smart ass comments unless they make them first. Do not bicker with one another, we have to stay a team if we are going to grab these assholes by the balls, understand?" Inutaisho asked.

"Yes." They all said, nodding.

"Sorry." Max said to Sesshomaru who smiled.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just tired, I knew you were joking." Sesshomaru said back, holding the door open for Max and Lisa.

"Oh, are you from the ally cooperation?" the waitress asked kindly. She had a huge chest and Inutaisho stared like a mindless zombie.

"Yes, we are. Are they ready for us?" Sesshomaru asked, stepping up quickly and hiding his father's gaze behind him.

"Just a minute, I'll go ask." She replied, turning around and walking away.

"Damn, I'd like to have a go at that." Inutaisho said absentmindedly.

"I'm not Inuyasha, so don't talk to me like I am! New rule, no hitting on people!" Sesshomaru snapped irritably.

"Got it." Max gulped.

"Just a little bit?" Lisa asked teasingly. Sesshomaru glared at her angrily. Lisa let out a quiet squeal as she hid behind Max.

"They're ready, I'll lead you to them." The waitress said, leading the group to a table of four other people. Four men sat talking and laughing, looking up like hungry wolves as the group approached.

"Ah, Inutaisho, it's a pleasure meeting you!" a man said with a big smile, holding his hand out. Inutaisho smiled back and shook it.

"The pleasure's all mine, Richard." Inutaisho replied back.

"Please God, tell me he doesn't go by Dick." Lisa whispered as Sesshomaru skillfully elbowed her sharply.

"Please, sit down." Richard said, sitting back down himself. Inutaisho sat in the middle, Max sat on his left, Sesshomaru on his right and Lisa was forced to sit on Sesshomaru's other side since there were no more chairs.

"Oh, these are my associates. This is John," Richard said, pointing to the middle aged shorthaired blonde on his left. John shook everyone's hand.

"Nice to meet you." He said to Lisa.

"You too." Lisa said back.

"This is my son, Cory." Richard said, pointing to the younger man on his right. Cory looked like a young version of Richard. Short, sleek black hair and piercing green eyes. Cory started the handshake with Lisa and ended with Max.

"_Very_ nice to meet you." Cory said to Max with a wink that no one but Max and Lisa saw. Lisa blinked but decided not to think about it.

"This is Robert." Richard continued. Robert had the same hairstyle as Cory and Richard except his was a light brown. His eyes were a dark brown and he didn't look a day over forty.

"Very nice to meet you all. I will introduce my, uh, associates as well. This is Max." Inutaisho began as Max smiled at Cory. Sesshomaru frowned, hoping Lisa didn't see that.

"This is my son, Sesshomaru and last but not least is Lisa." Inutaisho finished. Lisa waved shyly.

"Not to be rude, but they all look…young." Richard said, taking a drink of water. Lisa realized she had some water too, but no vicodin and that half a pill that morning was wearing thin.

"They are. My son and Lisa just graduated early from high school back in November, and Max has a little more than six weeks to go. They are young but I assure you, they are smarter than most people their ages." Inutaisho insisted.

"Really? I hope so." Robert commented, staring at Lisa as he said it. Lisa went to say something degrading to him, but Sesshomaru slid his hand under the table and poked her. Lisa smiled.

"No worries, I am." She said back sweetly.

"So, would you rather eat first or get the business over with?" Richard asked, reaching for a folder.

"Let's get this over with so we can have a relaxed meal." Inutaisho insisted as he pulled out his folder.

"Ok, let's switch." Richard said, taking Inutaisho's contract and laying it on the table, letting his associates read it over with him. Inutaisho did the same with Richard's contract, everyone reading the words and frowning at the different rules.

"Hm…this is so incredibly thorough. Who wrote this?" Robert asked with obviously impressed.

"I did." Lisa said with a smile.

"Really?" he asked with disbelief.

"Yes she did. The whole thing in two days." Inutaisho chirped without looking up from his reading. Lisa smiled as Sesshomaru kept count at how many loopholes were in their contract on his fingers to her. He had to start tallying in his head by the second page of the four-page document.

"What do you guys think?" Richard asked quietly to his group. They all nodded and agreed with the documentation, waiting for Inutaisho and his group to finish.

"Questions or disagreements?" Inutaisho asked, trying to sound more professional.

"No sir." The three young adults replied simultaneously, smiling with evil intent.

"Alright, let's sign these suckers!" Richard laughed.

"I'll sucker punch you if you say that again." Lisa mumbled, not noticing how close she was to Sesshomaru's head as she watched Inutaisho sign the contract.

"Heh, watch yourself…not that it wasn't funny." Sesshomaru whispered back.

"Yeah." Lisa trailed off as she noticed that Max and Cory had been staring lustfully at one another for over five minutes. Sesshomaru looked at them and back at Lisa.

"You noticed it too, huh?" Sesshomaru asked as he picked up his menu to find something to eat.

"When he shook Max's hand, he winked at him." Lisa said.

"Who would've guessed?" Sesshomaru asked with a smirk.

"Me." Lisa retorted, noticing that her hand was shaking involuntarily. She needed another vicodin to calm her nerves. Lisa pretended that her cell phone was ringing and stood up, pretending to answer it.

"I have to take this! It's important!" she called back to the table, running outside. She pocketed her phone and ran out to the limo.

"I need something from my suitcase!" she said to the awaiting driver who opened the trunk. She opened her suitcase and pulled out the pill bottle like she was some starved child. Lisa looked at the driver sheepishly.

"I, uh, needed these." She explained, popping one in her mouth and shoving the bottle in her pocket, thinking of a story to cover her vicodin tracks.

"Did something happen?" Richard asked, a weird gleam in his eye. Lisa frowned.

"It's personal, I'm not allowed to talk about it." She replied.

"My apologies." Richard said back. Lisa nodded to him. John seemed to be the quietest one and he seemed to be the most laid back. Lisa saw Cory and Max making weird hand gestures. She saw Cory bob his fist over his crotch quickly.

"Did he just do the universal hand sign for hand job?" Sesshomaru whispered to Lisa who nodded with a suppressed laugh.

"Uh, where's the bathroom?" Max asked. Just as Richard went to say something, Cory stood up.

"I'll show you, I have to go too." Cory said smiling, walking away with Max hot on his trail.

"Nuh uh, he did not." Lisa mumbled, snorting as she took a drink.

"He did." Sesshomaru replied with a smile, watching as they disappeared in the bathroom.

"Go Max." Inutaisho mumbled, looking at his own menu. Lisa and Sesshomaru did a double take on him and began laughing.

"Did we miss something?" Robert asked with a laugh.

"No sir." The remaining three said simultaneously.


	15. Chapter 15

Woooooooo

Max and Cory finally returned from the bathroom, smiling when no one seemed to care about how long they were gone. Cough, twenty minutes, cough.

"Damn, did you have to make a career out of it?" Lisa asked Max with a sweet smile and eyes full of evil intent. Max shifted in his seat and smiled back weakly.

"Why do you care?" Max asked nervously.

"Because, I'm hungry and we had to wait on your slow ass to get back here before we ordered." Lisa retorted, leaning back and waiting for the waitress to come take her order.

"Sorry, we started talking." Cory said out of the silence.

"Mhm." Inutaisho hummed, trying to sound convinced. He covered his mouth with his hand, knowing he couldn't resist smiling.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Lisa murmured as she took a drink of water. Sesshomaru was silently hiding his amusement behind his menu. Cory shot Max a worried look before smiling weakly as the waitress took everyone's orders.

"So you are going to be here for five days? Why?" Richard asked, taking another drink of water.

"To congratulate everyone for their hard work. Plus, Max goes back to school two days after we get back and Sesshomaru and Lisa start going to college the same day, so I thought I should make their holidays end with a bang." Inutaisho explained.

"Don't worry, Max got the bang part covered already." Lisa whispered to Sesshomaru smugly, who snorted and nodded in agreement. She heard Max whisper "Shut up" quietly to her, but she ignored him.

"So, how long have you two been dating?" John asked, startling Lisa for two reasons. One, she wasn't dating Sesshomaru, two, John hadn't said anything the entire time.

"We aren't dating. We're just friends." Sesshomaru corrected kindly.

"Oh, sorry, it's just that Inutaisho said that you were living together and I thought that you were…" John trailed off as Lisa and Sesshomaru shot Inutaisho dirty looks.

"What? You are living together." Inutaisho said.

"Next time, mention that we aren't interested in one another except for the fact that we like arguing viciously." Lisa said, sniffing as she smelled lunch approaching. The waitress sat Lisa's steak and fries in front of her.

"That looks great." Sesshomaru commented.

"You should've got it." Lisa retorted, frowning as the waitress sat the exact same meal in front of Sesshomaru.

"Haha, you're out of it. Didn't you hear me say I wanted the same?" Sesshomaru asked, placing his napkin in his lap. Lisa didn't bother as she dipped a fry in the barbeque sauce and ate it.

"Nope." She replied, picking up her fork and knife.

"So, Lisa, Max told me that you love playing video games." Cory said out of the blue. Lisa ate a piece of steak and nodded.

"Yes I do. I would die without video games." Lisa said, taking a drink of water.

"I was wondering if you've played any of the Resident Evil games?" Cory continued, his voice strengthening.

"I whipped every one of those games." Lisa said. Cory nodded and sighed.

"Try playing them in order, it makes a lot more sense." Lisa finished, noticing his falling self-esteem.

The meal was lively, conversations went on for hours, and laughing and comments being flung around made it even more enjoyable. Inutaisho insisted that he and his group had to leave and they all left, climbing into the limo. Lisa noticed that Max seemed quite reluctant, fearing that he was going to be slaughtered with gay jokes.

"So, how was Cory?" Inutaisho began with a smile. Max's face reddened as he crossed his arms, not making contact.

"Leave him alone." Lisa whined, rubbing her stomach. Sesshomaru closed his phone, looking at Lisa, who felt her phone vibrating. She opened it and frowned.

'You know my dad will never let this die, right?' it read. Lisa pressed 'reply' and sighed.

'Well, as long as I'm around, I won't let him breathe life into the subject.' She replied, closing her phone.

"I got us into a penthouse in a five star hotel. This should be fun." Inutaisho said, stretching his arms.

"How many beds?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Three." Inutaisho said.

"Well, there are four of us."

"I'll crash on the couch." Lisa interrupted, tapping her fingers impatiently. She was tired and she needed another vicodin.

'_No I don't. No I don't. No I don't.'_ Lisa recited in her thoughts. She saw Sesshomaru observing her and she bit her bottom lip. He was onto her vicodin schedule, so she needed to throw him off. To him, this was a competition, to see who would win. If he found evidence, she was screwed, but if she kept herself well hidden and not detoxify herself, then she would win.

"Nervous?" Sesshomaru asked her with a smirk. Lisa forced her jittering to stop.

"Nah, it's kind of cold in here." Lisa replied.

"Yeah, tell them to turn down the air, I'm shivering." Max agreed. Sesshomaru growled and turned his head. Lisa smiled. One small battle won.

They arrived at the hotel where two men came out and carried in their suitcases as Inutaisho got the keys. They rode on the elevator to the top floor. Inutaisho walked down the hallway to a beautiful set of wooden doors. He unlocked it and opened it, revealing what looked like a huge house. There was the lounge room, where satin red couches faced a huge plasma screen TV. A stereo system was by the window that had a window seat. A long hallway led to three different bedrooms with red bedsheets.

"Hahaha, who got married?" Lisa laughed as Max jumped on his bed and slid off.

"Ouch! Goddamn silk sheets!" he shouted, rubbing his lower back. Lisa set her suitcase against the wall.

"Can I keep my stuff in your room?" she asked.

"Yeah, a bit of advice, avoid the silk…and hide your vicodin a little better now that Sesshomaru is on your trail." Max whispered, walking into his private bathroom. Lisa nodded and looked around.

"Where to hide it?" she whispered. She saw a vase of red roses and smiled as she hid the vicodin in the red roses, cursing as a few thorns caught her hand.

"Lisa! Come here for a minute!" Inutaisho called from the kitchen. She walked out and saw him juggling two large knives.

"I'm sure I could make it in Hollywood with these!" he laughed, catching one behind his back.

"Definitely." Lisa replied sarcastically. She turned around and saw Max trotting out with his PS2, controllers and Lisa's games.

"Hell to the yeah!" Lisa cheered, running over to help him hook it up.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me? Now?" Sesshomaru asked, sitting down on the other couch next to a small table, turning the lamp on to read his book.

"What? Did you honestly expect us to go five days without games?" Max asked as he switched the console and TV on.

"What game?" Lisa asked.

"Some zombie killing game." Max replied, sitting next to Lisa on the larger couch. Inutaisho sat on the end of the same couch, readying himself for angry outbursts. It's not that he didn't like listening to them, he just couldn't get a word in edge wise when Max and Lisa entered 'Game mode.'

Ten minutes later, Lisa was pressing the 'fire' button, shouting as one zombie refused to die.

"Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, DIE! Goddamn it, die!" Lisa shouted as the gun fired relentlessly. She backed off and reloaded the gun and continued shooting.

"Calm down! I'm on my way!" Max said, making his character run down the dark corridor. Lisa switched from her machine gun to her shotgun and began shooting and cocking the gun, shooting again. Finally, the zombie fell to the floor, motionless.

"Shit! It took more than twenty rounds to kill that fucker!" Lisa whined, looking at her few remaining bullets. Max character suddenly popped up in front of her.

"Shit!" Lisa cursed, firing the shotgun at Max, injuring his character.

"Lisa! That was me!" Max shouted as his health lost a huge chunk.

"Don't pop up in front of me, plus, you're lucky I decided to shoot you in the crotch instead of the head!" Lisa argued.

"So, how are you on ammo?"

"Thanks to you…I now have nothing, except two grenades." Lisa replied, following Max down the hallway.

"There's some ammo in here, I think." He said, opening a door and running into a room full of zombies.

"Ahhhh! Damn! Wrong room!" Max exclaimed as Lisa threw a grenade.

"Get the hell out of there!" Lisa said as Max backed out of the room and closed the door. A huge boom, followed by zombies' screams of despair told them that the room was clear. Lisa went through the door and saw a box of unharmed ammo for her machine gun. She switched to her dagger and decided to let Max handle any zombies until she had more than thirty bullets.

"Ok, there is a room down here that has plenty of ammo and health." Max said, running into said room. Lisa ran in and took the bullets and let Max have the health since she shot him.

"So what's the object of this game?" Inutaisho asked, taking a sip of his water.

"Win." Max and Lisa replied dryly.

"I know that, but how?" Inutaisho pressed.

"You kill the zombies, find out information about why they're coming to life, and get the hell out of the mall before they kill you." Lisa explained as Max shot a female zombie in the head. She fell lifeless to the floor.

"Nice shot." Inutaisho laughed.

"Much practice…Lisa!" Max shouted as Lisa blew a zombie off the third floor of the mall and to its fate.

"Ha! Bitch!" Lisa laughed as she continued on down the mall hallway.

"Lisa, what do you get out of these games?" Sesshomaru asked. She saw that he had his book closed in his lap so he could watch her and Max's antics.

"Uh…bloody satisfaction." Lisa replied, switching to her dagger so she could stab the zombie. It died and fell to the floor.

"Hahaha, you're a beast!" Max laughed, switching to his handgun.

"Inuyasha plays these games too, but he is nowhere near as entertaining as you two." Inutaisho laughed as Max and Lisa double-teamed a hooker zombie.

"Take it like a bitch." Max said, zooming up on her with his rifle. He got to her mouth and shot off her jaw.

"Ahh! No more BJs!" Lisa laughed, finishing off the zombie.

"Ok, you take that hallway and I will take this one, meet back here when you're done." Max ordered, running down the hallway. Lisa turned left and took off, running into the first door, more ammo and a crowbar.

"Oooh, this looks potentially harmful." Lisa chirped, running back into the hallway and finding another door. The door was locked. Lisa turned into another hallway and cursed.

"Fuck!" she shouted.

"What?" Max asked.

"It's a whole zombie orgy down here! Goddamn!" Lisa whined, running back to the meeting place.

"Alright, let's not split up anymore because you always seem to find an invincible zombie or twenty zombies." Max said, finding Lisa and throwing a grenade at the pursuing zombies, killing them all.

Later that night, Lisa pulled her vicodin from the roses, laughing as Max told her what went on with him and Cory.

"He was desperate." Max said, as Lisa laughed.

"So…did you,"

"Blow him? No. He gave me a hand job though."

"Sesshomaru totally called that one. I thought you were going to give Cory one." Lisa said, opening the pill bottle.

"Yeah…what?" Max asked, seeing Lisa's face turn white with shock.

"That mother fucking bastard." She said calmly, showing Max that it was empty.

"Oh shit…he cleaned you out." Max said with disbelief.

"This is going to be an awful five days. I have to detoxify and everything."

"Damn."

"Ugh! I'm going to kill him in his sleep!" Lisa hissed, pulling her pajamas on as Max turned around. Her light blue pants and white t-shirt that said, "I put the laughter in manslaughter."

"Look, just sleep tonight, worry about it tomorrow." Max said as Lisa walked out.

"Night Max." Lisa called.

"Night." Max said back.


	16. Chapter 16

The Good Old Days

Max, Lisa and Sesshomaru sat on the couch, enjoying the breakfast that room service brought up. Lisa had pancakes, Max had waffles and Sesshomaru had an omelet.

"So, Max, ready to go back to Mr. Eagle?" Lisa asked with a snicker at Max's reaction to the accursed man's name.

"Fuck no! I hate him!" Max spat, taking a drink of his milk.

"I really had no problem with him." Sesshomaru said.

"He surely hated my existence." Lisa remarked with a wink.

"Maybe because you were a complete smart ass to him." Sesshomaru said back, smirking as Lisa rolled her eyes.

"Maybe if he wasn't a complete retard I wouldn't have to show him up!" she said back, making Max snort out his milk.

"Oh, God he's so stupid! How is he a teacher?" Max asked, wiping his nose.

"I don't know." Sesshomaru and Lisa moaned.

"Haha, Lisa, do you remember when Megan finished her power point about Creation vs. Evolution? What did he say that made you go off?" Sesshomaru asked, setting his plate down on the table.

"What class did you have him for?" Max asked.

"Sociology. Anyway, Mr. Eagle was talking about God and what he thought about it and then he started talking about a cowboy show!" Lisa said, finishing her plate as well. Sesshomaru chuckled and sighed.

"I remember now! You said, "I like how we went from talking about religion to COWBOYS!" Hahahaha! Classic!" Sesshomaru laughed. Max cocked an eyebrow as he laughed.

"I've never seen you laugh so much!" Max teased.

"Oh wow, you should've seen him the day it happened! Haha, I thought he fucking died!" Lisa laughed, tears coming from her eyes.

"It was so random and you screamed 'cowboys' really loud, how was I supposed to react? How was anyone supposed to react? It was funny." Sesshomaru defended.

"Yeah, Mr. Eagle hated it though." Lisa sighed.

"That's because he hates you." Sesshomaru retorted. Lisa laughed.

"Whatever. Either you hate me or love me, there is no in between." Lisa replied.

"I see why he hates me now! Because I'm affiliated with you!" Max shouted.

"Bullshit! He loved Sesshomaru and Sesshomaru _was_ and _still_ is affiliated with me! You must've said or done something!" Lisa argued with a smile.

"I don't recall anything." Max said.

"Bingo. You don't, he does, case solved." Lisa said back.

"Lisa, what did you get on your power point? The one about how music affects teens?" Sesshomaru asked.

"An A! Because I'm the bomb!" Lisa laughed.

"What'd you get?" she asked quickly.

"Perfect."

"Of course." Lisa moaned.

"Ah, shit, I had to do mine over obesity! I got an A- but my partner was hell bent on doing obesity, I wanted something more interesting." Max whined.

"What's more interesting than obesity?" Lisa asked sarcastically.

"I know right. I mean, yes it's a problem in the U.S., but I believe that there are more important things out there than McDonalds' customers." Max said.

"Good morning everyone." Inutaisho chirped, walking into the kitchen without a shirt on.

"Morning." Sesshomaru grumbled, turning away.

"Yeah…morning." Max said, getting a good look before turning around.

"Ew! Put that thing away! There are children here!" Lisa screamed, hiding under the blanket. Inutaisho growled.

"Hey, I've got perfectly sculpted and evenly tanned abs! Not bad for a forty-nine year old man!" he defended, grabbing his breakfast from the room service cart and heating it up.

"Hey, put it away before I sue for sexual harassment!" Lisa yelled from under the blanket.

"I'm going, I'm going!" Inutaisho barked, walking back to his room. Max began poking Lisa under the blanket, making her squeal and laugh.

"Stop! Stop! Max, you poked my ass!" Lisa laughed.

"That was definitely Sesshomaru!" Max laughed back.

"Was not! I would never poke her in the butt. Ever." Sesshomaru bit back.

"Lies!" Max yelled teasingly. Lisa began laughing and Max pushed her, causing her to topple over in Sesshomaru's lap with the blanket still twisted around her.

"Ok, I just landed in someone's crotch and uh…" Lisa laughed.

"Hahahaha! Sesshomaru! Watch yourself!" Max laughed as Sesshomaru punched him in the arm. Max punched him back. Sesshomaru shoved him and Max jumped on him…and Lisa.

"Oh jeez! Let me go free first!" Lisa laughed as Max tried to punch Sesshomaru playfully, but the white haired male got the better opportunity and threw Max onto the floor.

"Ah, damn, I'll get you one day!" Max laughed while not getting up.

"And when he does, he'll eat you!" Lisa yelled, pretending to be s ghost with the blanket.

"Wooooooooo! Oooooooh! I will piss on your soul!" she called hauntingly. Sesshomaru was still sitting and snorted at her before pushing her onto Max, who was sitting up on the floor.

"Hey! You guys need to turn down that damn heavy metal shit! I'm on the phone!" Inutaisho yelled angrily, making Lisa go into one of her silent fits of laughter.

"Hahahaha! Did he just say Lisa pretending to be a ghost was heavy metal shit? Hahahaha!" Max laughed, pulling the blanket off of Lisa.

"There, I vanquished the Heavy Metal Shit Ghost of Easter Yet to Come!" Max laughed, falling back on the couch. Sesshomaru pulled Lisa off the floor and onto the couch next to him, making sure she was breathing. Lisa wiped the tears from her wet face and giggled.

"Oh wow, and here I thought Mr. Eagle was a dumb ass, but your dad takes the cake by a long shot! Hahaha!" Lisa said to Sesshomaru as he smirked and nodded. This was true.

"We must be bored out of our minds." Sesshomaru said with a small chuckle. Lisa was leaned against him while she finished off her laughing fit that completely immobilized her body. Max nodded.

"Yeah." He said, looking for the remote.

"Oh Jesus! Hahahaha! Ok, I'm good!" Lisa said, scooting away from Sesshomaru so they weren't touching.

"I like how we're stuck here until your dad is finished with whatever." Max said, flipping through the channels.

"You know what we should do?" Lisa asked excitedly.

"What?" Sesshomaru and Max replied.

"We should ditch your dad and go out in the city, the three of us." Lisa said. Sesshomaru and Max looked at one another and nodded.

"No disagreements with me." Sesshomaru said, standing up.

"I'm up for it." Max said, following Lisa and Sesshomaru to the door. Sesshomaru carefully opened it and motioned for the other two to go first. He closed the door behind him quietly as they walked down to the elevator.

"Haha, he's going to kick our asses." Max said with a smile.

"No, we can just blame Lisa." Sesshomaru said, pressing the main floor button.

"Asshole." Max and Lisa said while glaring at him. He smiled at them.

"Ever heard of a joke?" he asked as the doors opened.

"Nope." Max said.

"No, I don't believe so." Lisa added as they walked outside. Lisa wrapped one of her arms around Sesshomaru and Max's necks, pulling them closer.

"Just like old times, huh?" She asked as they glanced at one another spitefully.

"Sure it is!" Max laughed, grabbing Lisa's leg as Sesshomaru grabbed the other, both men hoisting her into the air.

"Ahhhhhh! Don't drop me! Don't drop me!" She laughed as people stared oddly at them.

"We won't, the cement isn't hard enough." Sesshomaru retorted as he and Max let her down gently. She laughed as a guy looked disappointed that she wasn't alone.

"Shut up. So, where to?" Lisa asked.

"I don't know, just as long as we don't get lost." Max chirped.

"I'm pretty sure if we do, you can call your boyfriend and he'll pick us up." Sesshomaru retorted, dodging a fist to the face.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Max said.

"Oh God, boyfriend, afternoon delight, same difference!" Lisa argued.

"Haha, ok, so maybe I have his cell phone number." Max laughed.

"That fast?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Yeah, Max has this ability to get any guy's number, straight or not." Lisa said.

"I never gave him mine…Lisa." Sesshomaru growled.

"I said he had the ability to obtain, I never said he asks the guy directly." Lisa said.

"Hahaha! I have my little ways." Max said. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and looked down the sidewalk. He froze when he saw long, wavy black hair. Lisa and Max looked at him and frowned.

"What?" Lisa asked Sesshomaru, poking his arm.

"Look who decided to show up." Sesshomaru growled, pointing to the man with black hair. Lisa looked at him and gasped.

"Naraku? Here? Now? What the…hide me!" Lisa hissed as he turned her way. He saw Sesshomaru and Max and walked up to them gracefully.

"Now I know you two fags never go anywhere without my sweet Lisa." Naraku said, going to push Sesshomaru out of the way, but Sesshomaru grabbed his arm and twisted it behind him, glaring.

"You will _not_ touch her…understand?" Sesshomaru asked dangerously.

"Heh, whatever you say." Naraku gasped as the pain grew more intense.

"Break it off." Lisa snapped, but Sesshomaru let him go.

"So, what are you doing here, you bastard?" Sesshomaru asked as Naraku flipped his long black hair behind him, smiling at Lisa.

"I'm here for my girl." He said simply.

"I'm here to whip your ass." Max retorted sharply.

"As if a queer could touch me." Naraku bit back irritably.

"Someone's about to get smacked in the mouth." Lisa stated angrily.

"Haha, you tell him, honey." Naraku replied sweetly.

"You know what, fuck this!" Max shouted, punching Naraku in the face, knocking him to the ground.

"Let's go Lisa." Sesshomaru said, grabbing her arm and walking back to the hotel with Max following to make sure Naraku wouldn't try any sneak attacks.


	17. Chapter 17

Never Mind Me

The four misfits returned to their homes with two gifts, Naraku, the annoying, stalker bastard, and Kagura, the cooler, but still a little annoying…person? Kagura really likes Sesshomaru, and yes they are cousins, but only by marriage, not blood. Naraku was obsessed beyond all sanity and laws with Lisa, and she hated it.

"Alright, look, I don't care if the dick comes up here to ask for a cup of sugar, do not open the door for him!" Lisa shouted at Sesshomaru, who remained seated in the recliner chair with his Stephen Colbert book.

"What if it's Kagura?" Sesshomaru asked. Lisa shrugged.

"As long as she's over trying to be like me, she can come in." Lisa sighed, rubbing her temples. Her body was hurting all over, she had chills, and she was throwing up, all the fun symptoms of vicodin withdrawal.

"You need to sit down before you pass out." Sesshomaru said, motioning towards the couch. Lisa collapsed on the couch and let out an irritated and pitiful moan as a knock on the door was heard. Sesshomaru sat his book on the arm of the chair, standing up and walking over to the door. He opened it sharply.

"Hey, where's Lisa?" Naraku asked, but his only answer was the door being slammed viciously in his face.

"Bend over and I'll show you!" Sesshomaru hollered, walking back over to his chair and sitting down.

"I'm definitely not up his ass." Lisa said.

"Well…you are now." Sesshomaru retorted, opening his book and beginning to read it. A few minutes later, he heard Lisa's small whines and whimpers of pain as she tried to get comfortable.

"What's wrong?" he asked, knowing what exactly was wrong with her. He cleaned her out, his way of being a good friend.

"My shoulders all the way down my back are fucking murdering me!" she spat.

"Here, sit up." Sesshomaru ordered, helping her sit up. He sat behind her and began massaging her shoulders.

"Mmmmm…that would feel great if it didn't hurt so much." She murmured, but Sesshomaru wasn't an idiot. He knew she liked it. He pressed harder with his palms and fingers, making her moan with pleasure and embarrassment of the pleasure.

"It isn't like I'm trying to get in your pants or anything, calm down." Sesshomaru growled, moving from her shoulders to her upper back, making her whimper with dissatisfaction.

"What?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Why'd you move from the shoulders so quick? Didn't your dad ever teach you to stay on the shoulders and neck as long as possible?" Lisa replied calmly.

"Yes, but that was only for the times I need to get a girl to have sex with me, not trying to help you out with something that was your own fault." Sesshomaru explained, moving back to her shoulders anyway.

"If you wouldn't have cleaned me out, I wouldn't be hurting right now."

"I would never do such a thing."

"Don't play innocent with me, I know it was you."

"Fine, but I was doing it for your own good. You've had problems with pain killers in the past, I'm just trying to look out for you."

"I appreciate it, but only because your massages are so _extremely_ thorough." Lisa said with a relaxed smile, making Sesshomaru smirk with pride. He now knew that if he wanted any girl to have sex with him, he definitely had the power to make them want to. Lisa was one of the hardest girls to befriend because of how blunt she comes off, let alone seduce her.

"So, ready for college?" Sesshomaru asked.

"No…but I might as well get it over with." Lisa replied, leaning into his hands.

"Well, I know that you and I have Psychology together, French too, anything else?" Sesshomaru asked, responding to her with a hard squeeze on the shoulders.

"Ahhh! Douche! That really…feels better now." Lisa ended peacefully.

"I'm pretty sure we have P.E. together, too." Lisa finally said.

"That's it, I believe. You're welcome." Sesshomaru said, standing up from her as she groaned, lying back down on the couch, pulling the small blanket over her. He sat down and opened his book, cursing as another knock was heard on the door. He stood up and opened the door.

"Is," Naraku asked, only for the door to be slammed back in his face.

"I know she's in there!" he shouted, Sesshomaru stood at the door and looked out the window, waving teasingly at Naraku, who responded with the middle finger. Sesshomaru heard the kitchen sink running and turned his head, watching Lisa mix something together. She pulled a few items from the fridge, squeezing them in the water and mixing it.

"What are you doing?" Sesshomaru whispered.

"I'm mixing together hot water, ketchup, mustard, pickle juice, sugar, and," Lisa said, pausing as she snorted and spit into the cup.

"A fluid of my own." She finished, stopping the stirring. She walked over to the door and opened the door.

"Hey baby!" Naraku chirped, going to hug her.

"Uh, yeah, about that," Lisa said, slamming the door and catching his hand in the doorway. Lisa snorted as Naraku screamed with agony. She opened the door and kicked him against the railing of the walkway and threw the smelly cup of condiments and other fluids on him, once more slamming the door and double locking it.

"Necessary?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Yep." Lisa replied, washing out the cup and placing it in the strainer. Sesshomaru sighed as he remembered classes start tomorrow. He didn't feel like cooking and he was definitely sure that Lisa wasn't going to either.

"Want to go out and eat tonight? I'll pay." Sesshomaru offered, yawning loudly. Lisa glared at him.

"I pay for myself." Lisa stated.

"No, I pay." Sesshomaru argued, grabbing his keys. Lisa shoved him slightly.

"I pay!" she retorted, opening the door and smirking when there was no Naraku to beat up. Sesshomaru locked the door and closed it, following Lisa to the elevator. She pressed the main floor button and leaned her head against Sesshomaru's arm.

"I pay." She stated strongly. Sesshomaru pat her on the head.

"Fine." He lied, knowing he could snatch the bill faster than she can.

Sesshomaru started up the engine, waiting for the sound of Lisa's seatbelt clicking securely before taking off. He drove down the road and noticed a black Ferrari was following their every move.

"Shit…it's him." Lisa moaned, noticing it too. Sesshomaru let out an irritated growl, speeding up slightly.

"I cannot stand him whatsoever! If it wasn't for my uncle loving their mother, I would kill that bastard without hesitation!" Sesshomaru said loudly with obvious anger. Lisa pat his arm gently.

"Maybe he will get into a wreck." Lisa chirped.

"I can only hope." Sesshomaru replied, turning onto the next road. Lisa laughed and nodded, praying that some big sweaty trucker or a sweet little old lady would broadside Naraku. Whichever one would be more laughable.

"I think I'm just going to drive back home and make us something, ok?" Sesshomaru said, turning back onto the road to the condo. Lisa sighed. Naraku had better not be the reason why she and her best friend since second grade can't simply go out to eat together.

"It's up to you, I have no problem with it." Lisa finally said as he pulled back into the parking lot.

"Hey, I was just out too!" Naraku called to them as they got out.

"Yeah, we saw you following us." Lisa spat angrily, quickly taking to Sesshomaru's side and rolling her eyes as Naraku walked next to her. Sesshomaru stepped in between them and walked into the elevator, pressing Naraku's floor first.

"Coming with me, Lisa?" Naraku asked seductively.

"What the hell do you not understand about the word NO!" Lisa hollered, fuming even more when Naraku's evil smile appeared.

"I don't like taking 'no' for an answer. Either you say 'yes,' or,"

"Or what?" Sesshomaru cut in coldly as the elevator doors opened. Naraku frowned.

"Your floor." Sesshomaru stated as Naraku frowned. The long black haired male cursed under his breath and walked away. Lisa let out a groan as she punched the elevator wall. Sesshomaru grabbed her shoulders and sighed.

"He won't do anything as long as I am around. Stay with me or Max at all times, understand?" Sesshomaru asked her, loosening his grip on her. Lisa nodded.

"What am I supposed to do when you and Max aren't around?" she asked.

"Go visit your family or stay here and lock the doors. Just please promise me that you won't let him in to stab him or something, please?" Sesshomaru pleaded her.

"Ugh…fine. I won't invite him in so I can stab him." Lisa replied with a small smile. Sesshomaru ruffled her hair and turned around when the doors opened, walking up to their door.

"What's for dinner?" Lisa asked as they walked in. Sesshomaru shrugged.

"I really didn't feel like cooking." He admitted, opening the fridge.

"Oh! Order Chinese food!" she said with a smile, slamming her hands down on the bar as she sat on the stool. He exhaled and looked at her.

"Really? I can make food better than the Chinese."

"But you don't feel like it."

"True. Fine, what do you want?"

"Egg rolls! And everything else!" she laughed as Sesshomaru sighed heavily.

"Same as last time?" he asked.

"Hahaha, if you can remember last time, sure." Lisa said.

Sesshomaru watched with full on amusement when Lisa tried eating the greasy noodles with chopsticks. Every time she went to bite, the noodles slipped off the sticks, making Sesshomaru chuckle at every failed time.

"Damn it! How do you guys do it?" she asked, grabbing her fork instead. Sesshomaru decided to keep to the chopsticks just to make her jealous. He swallowed the pork and smirked.

"Japanese are more skilled with their hands than Americans. Don't you remember that massage I gave you?" Sesshomaru stated proudly, digging into the noodles that Lisa failed to eat with chopsticks.

"That's a stereotype and a damn lie. Why do you think Americans are more sexually pleased than the Japanese? It's not only because we're smooth talkers, but our hand skills are great." Lisa said back, twirling noodles around her fork and eating them.

"More sexually pleased than us? Hah, don't make me laugh. We invented more than a hundred different sex positions way before the Americas were even a twinkle in Europe's eye. I believe it was at the time of the Romans we broke the one hundred line."

"So? We use more than three hundred and we use them a lot more than you Japs."

"Oh really? Prove it."

"Teen pregnancy rates are climbing. Rock and rap music usually have lyrics referring to sex. Motels and hotels are not _just_ for out of town people. America has more pimps than the Japanese have haikus. We have more sluts, whores, prostitutes and skanks than the Japanese have chopsticks. And, we bang anything and everything…even Japanese people." Lisa explained arrogantly.

"You're right."

"Haha, told you."

"Americans are pigs." Sesshomaru said while stealing one of Lisa's pieces of pork with his chopsticks.

"Haha, yes we are." She replied, stealing five of his by stabbing and stuffing them all onto her fork and smirking.


	18. Chapter 18

Take It

"Oh my God, Sesshomaru, I'm going to cut you." Lisa groaned as she massaged her temples. She and Sesshomaru had started college a few weeks ago, and they already had a test in Psychology to study for, and Sesshomaru wasn't anywhere near merciful when it came to studying. He was the Jason Voorhees of studying.

"Look, Mrs. Wheeler made it quite clear that this was going to be on the test. Now, answer the question." Sesshomaru said back, taking a drink of water while fanning himself with the note card.

"Psh, do I even listen in that class?" Lisa asked.

"You should. I need an answer."

"What was the question again?"

"What does a phrenologist feel and interpret?" Sesshomaru asked while pronouncing every syllable correctly and, somehow, still not sounding like a geek.

"The size of your asshole." Lisa growled sarcastically, making Sesshomaru snort. He regained his composure and sighed.

"Wrong." He stated.

"No, a phrenologist feels and interprets the bumps on your head, uh, skull features and tries to gain a sense of your personality." Lisa explained.

"Very good. Your turn to ask." Sesshomaru yawned as Lisa picked up a card from the pile. She read it and nodded.

"Who said that the mind progresses in four stages, starting with sensorimotor?" Lisa asked.

"Piaget?" Sesshomaru said unsurely.

"No, it was Oprah Winfrey. Duh." Lisa said sarcastically as she set the card down.

"Of course, how could I forget?" Sesshomaru laughed, picking up another card.

"What is a psycho physiological illness?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Name one or define it?"

"Define it."

"It's when Chuck Norris,"

"Just answer it Lisa."

"Fine, it's when people get so stressed out that their bodies succumb to illnesses more easily than someone who isn't stressed."

"Good. See? You do listen."

"No, I took psychology back in high school, son!" Lisa said, throwing up a gang sign. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and pointed to the deck of note cards.

"Come on, test tomorrow, and get serious." He scolded only to have her stick her tongue out at him.

"I'll get serious when you decide to lighten up." She scolded back, picking up another card. She read it and shook her head.

"What?" Sesshomaru asked curiously.

"You really need to find yourself a pretty lady, dude. This is ridiculous." Lisa whined.

"Would you rather study off our quizzes?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Yes, actually, I would." Lisa replied with a smile while whipping out her 45-question quiz. Sesshomaru took his quizzes out and sighed. He usually got perfects on everything.

"What the fuck is this? I don't think Mrs. Wheeler enjoys giving out perfect, or even reasonable scores! How do I get a 90.4568 percent? Why couldn't she just round it up to 91 percent, you know, like a normal human being?" Lisa bit out. Sesshomaru smirked, realizing that she had a point. Instead of 100 percent, Mrs. Wheeler gave him a 99.9459 percent. How dare he miss less than a point?

"Well, let's get started." Sesshomaru finally breathed out.

"You ask me first." Lisa quickly said.

"Fine. Who is the least likely to show any negative emotions at work? A, John, a miner in North America, B, Julio, a farmer in South America, C, Ajani, a tribesman in Africa, or D, Yoko, a dentist in Japan?" Sesshomaru asked, rolling his eyes at the Japanese dentist part.

"Hahahahaha! Um, I'm going to go with D, Yoko, the amazing Japanese dentist." Lisa giggled.

"Correct. Ok, ask."

"Jake and Irene are walking down the street. Jake gets nice, kind smiles and looks while Irene gets lustful stares and randy jokes made about her. Jake is an asshole and does nothing about protecting his date's ego and lets her suffer the indecent jokes. This is most described as what? A, stereotyping, B, profiling, C, sexist stereotyping, D, All of the above, or E, none of the above." Lisa asked, eyeing Sesshomaru crossly.

"It's not E," she said. Sesshomaru crossed his arms and snorted.

"I know it isn't. It's D." he said.

"Good job. Alright, I'm done studying." Lisa claimed, standing up from the table and walking over to the couch. She sighed when she realized it was dinnertime, and once again, she didn't feel like cooking.

"Hello?" Sesshomaru answered his phone, standing up and reorganizing his papers and books. Lisa yawned and pulled out her cell phone, realizing Max had called and texted her over ten times. She hit send and held the phone up to her ear.

"Dude, Lisa, why didn't you answer?" Max asked irritably.

"I was studying with Sesshomaru and you know how he gets with cell phones while studying." Lisa explained while yawning.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Well, you do remember that it's James's birthday right?"

"Yeah, I already gave him his gift earlier."

"Well, he wants you, and Sesshomaru if he wants to, to come see a movie with us."

"Cool. What movie?"

"My Bloody Valentine."

"Ew! No way in hell am I paying to see that garbage!"

"You haven't even seen it!"

"But I already know what happens! The black guy gets killed first, the sluttish girl is blonde and gets killed during sex or is naked when killed, the ditzy girl trips over air, the cocky guy gets strangled with a cordless phone, and the killer never gets caught or killed. Boom, there, I already know." Lisa snapped quickly, staring at Sesshomaru, who loomed over her with his arms crossed.

"Hey, I will give you my answer in about ten minutes, ok?" Lisa quickly asked.

"Yeah, we're going to a late showing anyway. Bye." Max said, hanging up. Lisa sighed and sat up, allowing Sesshomaru to sit down beside her.

"We've got problems." He said simply, turning his gaze to the sliding glass doors that led to their perfect, ocean view patio, with a table, chairs and tanning chairs.

"Ok…tell me." Lisa prodded.

"My aunt is going on her honeymoon with her newlywed husband, and she needs someone to watch Rin for two weeks." Sesshomaru began.

"Oh, come on! Why not your dad?" Lisa whined.

"Because he's too busy, or whatever excuse he gave. She would ask Naraku and Kagura, if she didn't know that Naraku was,"

"A creeper."

"Correct."

"So how are we supposed to go to our classes, take care of our shit, take care of Rin, and hang out with friends?"

"Look, it isn't like Rin is a bad kid. She's very disciplined."

"Let me give her a cookie. She still has to eat and be entertained! Where is she going to sleep? I am NOT spending two weeks on the couch!"

"I will, alright? Just please, don't get mad."

"I don't know shit about kids, sorry, I get worried when I have to watch one."

"Your little brother is about Rin's age. You can't claim to have no experience."

"Yeah well, I just beat him until he followed my every command. I can't really do that to Rin."

"Haha, so, yes?"

"Fine. When is she coming?"

"Saturday."

"On Game Night! Of course!" Lisa yelled exasperatingly as she flopped down on the couch again.

"Sorry, that's when she's leaving for her honeymoon."

"Ugh! I am not canceling Game Night!"

"You don't have to, I'll pick her up." Sesshomaru said kindly. Lisa realized that the whole time she was ranting and raving, he was being nice and calm.

"I'll help out as much as I can, I promise." Lisa said, holding her fist out.

"I expect nothing more." He replied, bumping her fist.

The next day, Lisa and Sesshomaru sat in Psychology, reading the questions and answering them. Sesshomaru was calm and confident about taking tests. He made it look simple and relaxing. Lisa, on the other hand, made it look frustrating and painful. Every time she came to a question that was a paragraph long, she cursed Mrs. Wheeler to the deepest circle of Hell.

"Class, while you're taking the test, I'm going to call out your names for attendance, so just say "here," alright?" Mrs. Wheeler called from her messy desk. Lisa grumbled a few colorful words as she guessed on one question. Sesshomaru sighed, wishing Lisa would try harder for once in her life.

"Sesshomaru?" Mrs. Wheeler called out.

"Here." Sesshomaru said back. A few more names and it came to Lisa.

"Lisa?" the woman called out.

"Present." Lisa said.

"If you would've listened to me, young lady, you would've heard me tell you to say, "here" not "present."" Mrs. Wheeler said crossly. Lisa looked up from her test and stared at the professor with a face that would've made Satan run scared.

"Are you serious? I say present, which means here, and you get on me about it? Tch, how boring is your day?" Lisa grumbled, continuing her test. Mrs. Wheeler turned back to her computer silently. Sesshomaru chuckled silently as he finished up his test, walking up to the desk and handing it to Mrs. Wheeler and walking back to his seat. He took out another class's notes and began reading over them.

"Goddamn, finally." Lisa mumbled as she stood up to turn in her test. She sat the papers down on the desk and walked back to her seat, pulling out her other notes and reading over them as well.

After class, Lisa and Sesshomaru walked across campus, discussing the test and other things.

"I can't believe she called you out." Sesshomaru said, straightening out a wrinkle on his shirt. Lisa blinked, realizing that Sesshomaru dressed pretty casually today. He had on dark blue jeans, a black Johnny Cash T-shirt, black chucks, and a silver necklace with a black shark tooth hooked on it.

"See what I mean? Every teacher I come across hates my guts, even when I don't say anything to them." Lisa stated, cracking her neck. She looked down at her blue jeans and black AC/DC shirt, brushing them off gingerly.

"Well, you do have this aura about you that makes people hate you." Sesshomaru said teasingly.

"Kiss my ass." Lisa said back.

"So, I noticed that you left last night. I assume you went to go see My Bloody Valentine?"

"Ugh! Yes! It was complete garbage! The only up side to that movie was that the black guy didn't get killed! This one chick was naked for a good ten minutes, having sex, running away from the killer, her boobs bouncing and her hairy vagina flashing everywhere! And the plot sucked furry balls! I almost cut myself it was so bad!" Lisa snapped, making Sesshomaru smirk pat her shoulder.

"Oh well, it was only seven dollars." Sesshomaru reassured her.

"Seven dollars that I could've bought cookies or tampons with!" Lisa grumbled sarcastically.

"Think of it this way, you saved me from going and seeing it."

"Ohhh, God forbid you spend seven dollars out of the millions that you already have." Lisa said with a frown. Sesshomaru exhaled.

"How about I spend some money on us eating lunch? I didn't eat breakfast, so I'm pretty hungry. You?"

"I could eat a tree right about now."

"It's decided then…I'll pay."

"No, I'll pay! You _always_ pay!"

"You wasted seven dollars last night, I wouldn't dare let you spend more."

"You're not my boyfriend, so stop fantasizing! I'm paying for myself!"

"Fine." Sesshomaru lied, walking into the student eating area. He followed Lisa over to Subway and let her order first, he then moved her over, told them what he wanted, added up the price in his head and paid for it, while the whole time ignoring Lisa's name calling and whining. Sesshomaru grabbed the tray with their food and walked over to an empty table, sitting down and snorting as Lisa flipped him off.

"I don't see why you get so mad, Lisa. I'm just trying to be a gentleman."

"You're being a pain in my ass. I can pay for myself."

"I was raised by parents who told me to never let the woman pay, whether on a date or just friends eating." Sesshomaru explained, biting into his toasted chicken sandwich and taking a drink. Lisa didn't respond as she began eating her sandwich as well, nibbling on some chips before taking a drink.

"So, ready to go back to work tomorrow?" Sesshomaru asked, finishing up his sandwich.

"Not really, no, but I need the money, so I guess I can be happy with that in mind."

"Money doesn't buy happiness." Sesshomaru said, getting a stare of disbelief from Lisa, who stopped chewing to swallow.

"…Really? Do you live in America?" she finally asked.

"I hope so. I'd hate to be stuck in some alternate dimension."

"Wouldn't we all?"

"Well, I actually enjoy babysitting Rin, so I can't wait to see her. It's nice to have someone to look up to me, instead of a younger brother who thinks he's smarter than I."

"Inuyasha is a fucktard, I don't know why he thinks he's smooth."

"No one will tell him."

"I have like…one…two…twenty thousand times."

"I don't know. I just hope that if my dad doesn't pick me as his successor in the family business, that he doesn't pick Inuyasha either."

"Hahaha, that'd be one hell of a disaster!" Lisa laughed, imagining Inuyasha being _her_ boss? That'd be the day.


	19. Chapter 19

Bad Luck

"You did _what_?" Lisa asked with disbelief as she petted Dee Donk in her lap. She almost jumped up at what Sesshomaru just told her over the phone.

"I didn't do anything! Some jackass was texting and he rammed into me on a red light, pushing me out onto the intersection, and I almost got broad sided by a garbage truck!" Sesshomaru yelled back angrily.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you very well! But, are you hurt?" Lisa asked with worry, placing Dee Donk inside his cage. She started looking for her keys frantically. They were never where she last left them, making her suspect poltergeists.

"I'm at the hospital for a minor concussion and my back is killing me." Sesshomaru groaned with pain.

"Ouch. Hey, I'm coming to get you, ok?" Lisa said, walking out and closing the locked door.

"No, no, I can get a ride. I don't want you running into Naraku again, like last Friday." Sesshomaru insisted, making Lisa fume.

"I'm not going to let Naraku be the reason why I can't pick up an injured friend and drive him home! I'm coming to get you!" Lisa replied crossly.

"Fine, fine. I'll be waiting." Sesshomaru exhaled.

Lisa rode the elevator down and smiled when she reached her H3 without Naraku in sight. She pulled out and drove off to the hospital, spotting drivers on their cell phones and growling.

"Damn, I wish I could line them all up and crash them into a ditch!" Lisa yelled, almost getting smashed into by a texting woman. Lisa laid on her horn and the woman looked up at her, flipping her the finger.

"Fuck you!" the woman shouted. Lisa held up her hand and flipped her off while rolling down her window.

"Fuck you _sideways_! You're the one on your cell phone, bitch! Put it away and learn how to drive, you stupid cunt!" Lisa shouted back and speeding off towards the hospital. Lisa rolled into the parking lot and got out, walking inside. Lisa saw Sesshomaru signing a paper and checking himself out of the hospital.

"You take it easy now, ok? If there are any problems, you come back immediately." An older male doctor said with a kind smile. His light brown-gray hair was short and his brown eyes showed sincere kindness in them. He waved as he walked away.

"Knowing me, I would've gotten a bitchy doctor." Lisa said to Sesshomaru, whose left arm was in a sling.

"I thought you said a concussion and a hurting back." Lisa asked worriedly. Sesshomaru blinked a few times.

"They examined my shoulder and it's been slightly fractured, so I have to keep off this arm for a while. And, I got your favorite pills!" Sesshomaru said, waving the prescription in her face.

"Psh, have fun." Lisa said bitterly. She also noticed a bruise on his forehead.

"What the hell happened? Did your head slam into the steering wheel?" Lisa asked as they walked over to the prescription counter. Sesshomaru sighed.

"Yes it did. I suppose the air bags were having a lazy day." He remarked as he signed his name on a paper and took his bottle of vicodin. He looked at them curiously.

"Are these as good as you say they are?" he asked curiously as he followed her out to the parking lot.

"Dude, remember when I got those 3rd degree sunburns? When my skin was blacker than hell and it was chipping off?"

"Yes."

"I took a vicodin, next thing I knew, I was doing back flips off my cousin's roof and into their pool. I didn't feel a damn thing…until the vicodin wore off…then I couldn't move."

"So, it completely dulls any pain and intelligence?"

"Depends on who you are."

"I see. What do you think will happen to me?" he asked, climbing in on the passenger side and putting on his seatbelt. Lisa put hers on and laughed.

"I can see you strung out on the floor, staring at the ceiling because you think it's pretty." Lisa laughed.

"It's a pain killer, not acid."

"Psh, it may not be acid, but it will take you far, far away, into Vicodin Land, where everything is…yeah, you get the point."

"Is that why you took it?"

"I took it to relieve my stress."

"Ever heard of anti-stress activities?"

"Nope, just vicodin. So, what's going to happen with Rin and what not tomorrow?"

"My Escalade is totaled. I guess if you give me your keys I could,"

"Hell to the no. I'll pick her up." Lisa insisted.

"What about Game Night?"

"They can wait a little while. Game Night is all night, picking up Rin is a good half hour."

"Thank you, Lisa…I really appreciate that."

"Don't get all mushy on me now, wait until you take the vicodin."

"I'm actually curious to see what it's like." Sesshomaru admitted as she pulled into the condo parking lot. They got out and walked to the elevator, where Naraku waited for them like the ass he was.

"Oh my, that looks painful." Naraku said maliciously as he spotted Sesshomaru, who glared at him.

"Don't get cocky, my right arm has always been my better arm." Sesshomaru retorted, walking on the elevator, pressing Naraku's floor first, then their floor, and pushing Lisa behind him as Naraku stepped on.

"So Lisa, I was wondering when you're going to go out on a date with me?" Naraku asked spitefully.

"Hell, I wouldn't date you even if my life depended on it. I'd choose Earth's destruction over you."

"Give me a call when you change your mind."

"Yeah, I'll get right on it."

"Your floor, dickwad." Sesshomaru said kindly to Naraku, who glared at him.

"The next time that you aren't around," Naraku began, pointing at Sesshomaru.

"She's all mine." He finished, pointing at Lisa.

"You think I asked him to be my bodyguard? Bitch, he's protecting _you_ from _me_!" Lisa snapped, pushing Naraku out of the elevator so the doors would shut.

"I honestly think that if given the chance, he would rape you!" Sesshomaru spat out angrily.

"He would, but like you said, if given the chance, and I never give him one."

"You did when you came to get me."

"Uh, no. I can just as easily kick his ass as you can kick his."

"I know." Sesshomaru said, walking down to the condo. Lisa unlocked it and walked inside, closing it after Sesshomaru walked in.

"Do you need me to help you with anything?" she asked him as he headed towards his bedroom.

"No, but if I'm not out of the shower in twenty minutes, check on me!" he called back with a laugh. Lisa sat on the couch and sighed. That wasn't funny.

A little while later, Sesshomaru walked out into the front room with his blue pajama pants on and his white shirt flung over his shoulder. He saw Lisa was asleep on the couch with Dee Donk sleeping on her stomach. Sesshomaru walked in the kitchen and reached up to grab a glass with his left arm. It stung a little, but nothing he couldn't handle. He grabbed the glass and pulled it out, then a sharp pain rang through his entire left side of his body. He dropped the glass but quickly caught it with his right hand, falling to his knees on the floor.

"Alright, so maybe it's worse than I had thought." He gasped as he stood back up, filling the glass up with water, taking one pill and swallowing it with a few gulps of water. He set the glass down and walked over to Lisa, picking up the small guinea pig, who had gotten bigger. He used to fit in one of Sesshomaru's hands, but now he had to hold him with both.

Lisa woke up to giggling and talking. She didn't open her eyes because they were so heavy with sleep, but she strained her ears to listen to whoever was talking.

"Ow…you little bastard." Sesshomaru laughed playfully. Lisa's eyes shot open. Now…she wasn't so tired anymore. She rubbed her head and frowned when she saw Sesshomaru lying on his back on the floor with Dee Donk crawling around his chest and stomach frantically, like he was trying to escape some sort of torture.

"Sesshomaru?" Lisa asked groggily with a yawn.

"Hm?" he hummed, looking at Lisa with golden eyes filled with life, like a child's eyes. His face was pulled into a relaxed smile and it didn't take Lisa long to figure out what was wrong with him.

"You took one, didn't you?" she asked with a grin.

"Yesssssss and it's wonderful!" he exclaimed as Dee Donk made his grand escape by sliding off Sesshomaru's chest and onto the floor, running over to Lisa under the table, squeaking loudly and constantly like some pissed off teenager. Lisa picked the guinea pig up and walked over to Sesshomaru, lying own on the floor with him and placing Dee Donk between them. The critter pressed its body against Lisa's, trying to avoid Sesshomaru at all costs.

"I think he likes me." Sesshomaru laughed as Lisa nodded sarcastically.

"Definitely." She said.

"I was thinking about something and I came to a question, may I ask it?"

"Go."

"If con is the opposite of pro, does that mean that congress is the opposite of progress?" he asked with a completely clueless tone of voice.

"Hahaha! Yeah, pretty much! What else have you been thinking about?"

"Remember that hotel we stayed at a few years ago? What was it called? I know it had 'tree' in it."

"I don't know, it had two trees, so it was like Double Tree or something."

"Haha! Double Tree? I can see the meeting they had to name that place. Ok, I'm going to name off names and you raise your hand when I come across one you like. All right, Tree? No. Double Tree? Hell yeah!" Sesshomaru chatted. Lisa shook her head and laughed. When she took vicodin, she had a short burst of energy, and then she was relaxed. Sesshomaru might as well have been on speed. He kept talking about random, crazy shit, but it made Lisa laugh, so she didn't mind. Dee Donk, on the other hand, bit Sesshomaru's chin when he tried to "kiss him goodnight." Lisa laughed herself to sleep that night…right after she helped Sesshomaru to bed because he "lost all muscle control," so she had to drag/carry him. Douche.


	20. Chapter 20

The Pick Up

Lisa yawned as her cell phone alarm went off. She hit the button and sat up in bed, scratching her messy hair. She frowned, as she smelled eggs being cooked.

"Sesshomaru, did you take another vicodin?" Lisa called as she walked down the hallway and into the living room. Sesshomaru turned around and blinked.

"No. Why?" he asked curiously. Lisa smiled as she sat down at the bar.

"Do you remember last night…you know…when you lost all muscle control?" Lisa asked smugly as Sesshomaru's cheeks blushed a light shade of red.

"If you tell anyone about that I will make sure that your body will never be found and laid to rest!" he said threateningly as Lisa laughed harder.

"Hahaha! I had no clue that you were a vicodin jackass! Don't worry, I was too, for the first two days, you'll get used to it." Lisa laughed as Sesshomaru sat her plate of eggs in front of her. She took a bite as Sesshomaru sat next to her, eating his own.

"I don't know what happened, I just couldn't stop talking…it was weird." He said as Lisa snorted milk through her nose.

"No you couldn't! Hahahaha!" she burst, wiping the milk off with her napkin.

"Shut up." Sesshomaru groaned as he finished off his breakfast. Lisa took his plate and hers and began washing them. She dried off her hands and cracked her neck.

"Ok, so here's the plan, I have a hair appointment this afternoon so yeah, do whatever. And I guess after that, I can go pick up Rin." Lisa said while crossing her arms.

"Do you mind if I go with you? I have nothing to do today."

"Yeah, you can come. Just wear your sling, I don't want you breaking your fucking shoulder even more."

"It's fractured _slightly_, not broken." Sesshomaru corrected. Lisa patted his shoulder lightly, making him wince _slightly_ with pain.

"Wear it or stay here." She scolded, walking to her room to shower.

When Lisa got ready to get her hair cut, she grabbed her cell and her keys, walking out with Sesshomaru, who whined about his sling making him feel…vulnerable.

"You're not vulnerable, you're with me." Lisa chirped, hitting the main floor button.

"Yes, yes, I'm with the Naraku Magnet, oh boy." Sesshomaru replied sharply.

"If your arm wasn't broken already, I would've broken it just now." Lisa said with a smirk.

"It's fractured."

"Whatever. I'll fucking break it."

"Psh, try it."

"I will."

"Ok, great."

"I know it's great."

Lisa and Sesshomaru talked all the way to the hair salon, and by talked, they bickered senselessly. Lisa walked into the salon and up to the receptionist, who smiled sweetly at her.

"Hey girl!" the girl said, a curled, red strand of hair falling out of place.

"Hey Sam, is she ready for me?" Lisa asked, bumping Sam's fist. Sam nodded.

"Yeah, she's right back there…oh my…who's your friend?" Sam asked, winking excitedly at Sesshomaru, who gave her the infamous "I'll bet you have syphilis" stare before sitting down and pulling out his cell phone.

"He's my roommate, and don't feel bad, he looks at everyone like that." Lisa said, patting Sam's red head.

"Daaaamn, he's fine, but I don't screw assholes." Sam stated while waving her finger around.

"Well, you can't, you don't have a penis." Lisa laughed.

"Fooled me." Sesshomaru chirped while staring at his phone.

"What did you,"

"Sesshomaru, hush!" Lisa snapped.

"Fine." Sesshomaru growled.

"Just don't acknowledge him. Well, see you in a few." Lisa said, walking to the back of the salon.

"Hey Lisa, what do you want today?" a woman with long, curly brown hair asked as Lisa sat in the chair.

"Actually, I don't know. Help me shoot off some ideas." Lisa said.

"Well, I was thinking you could go shorter. Your hair is so thick that this haircut I'm thinking about can work perfectly."

"Short? How short?"

"Well, your hair will come down on the sides and I can part it on the side, cut it to just below your chin and shorten as I go further back, then, all the hair back here can be chopped off and you can spike them."

"So, longer to short, hair in back can spike?"

"Uh huh. Then we can add in some colors."

"Yeah, how about chocolate brown hair with ocean blue streaks and tips?" Lisa asked.

"Sexy, I think you should go for it."

"Alright, do it!" Lisa laughed.

Sesshomaru sat in the chair, texting a friend who moved away a few years ago. The guy was older than him, mid-twenties, and was married with two kids, but he and Sesshomaru were like brothers.

'A car wreck? You ok?' Sesshomaru read.

'Yes, I'm fine. A fractured shoulder that should heal in less than two weeks.'

'That's good. Haha, guess what?'

'What Jake?'

'My one year old daughter, Grace, learned her first word.'

'What word?'

'She got it from me, it was 'damn''

'Ha, damn? Well, it could be worse.'

'My wife was pissed off because I just laughed. I had a long day a work, and I was tired, and that made me laugh.'

'Understandable. Damn, Lisa's hair appointments are always way too long.'

'Hahaha! That's the only girly thing about her, the rest of Lisa is manly…except her body, her body is that of a goddess.'

'You have a wife.'

'Who is the queen of all goddesses. So, how is Lisa? Last time I saw her she was kicking a stalker in the nuts.'

'She's still Lisa…still kicking stalkers in the nuts.'

'I'm glad I decided not to stalk her. Well, bro, I gotta go. Ew, that rhymed.'

'Bye…and yes, it made my stomach churn with disgust.' Sesshomaru slipped his phone in his pocked and sighed, feeling a painful tingling sensation in his left shoulder. He wanted to take a vicodin badly because it seriously relieved him of any pains. His shoulder, his head, his back, his mind, everything was healed with that little white pill, but then again, it numbed any of his restraints on talking and imagination, so even though he felt good, he was a straight up idiot.

"Hey, you, why do you judge me?" Sam asked Sesshomaru from the desk.

"I can't stand it when people wink at me. It's a pet peeve of mine." Sesshomaru said back.

"And I don't have a penis."

"I believe you." Sesshomaru said back, digging in his blue jean pockets for the vicodin bottle. The urge won over, even though he was an idiot on vicodin, he didn't care until it wore off. Seven plus hours of complete carelessness and painlessness, he was definitely going for it.

"Damn it, where did I…oh, found it." Sesshomaru mumbled, opening the bottle and popping one in his mouth and swallowing it.

"Ok, all done!" the lady chirped as she spun Lisa to the mirror. Lisa smiled as she examined her hair. Chocolate brown with ocean blue streaks, it looked really good with her blue eyes.

"I love it! Thanks!" Lisa chirped, handing the lady some money and walking up to Sam, who looked at Lisa worriedly.

"I think there's something wrong with your friend." Sam said, pointing over at the bench, where Sesshomaru was strung out on, laughing his ass off.

"Aw…damn." Lisa groaned, walking over to him and pulling him up.

"Hahahahaha! Lisa! Guess what?" Sesshomaru asked while laughing.

"You're an ass!" Lisa shouted, pulling him out the door. She opened her doors and he got in, still laughing for no apparent reason. Lisa sighed as she revved the engine, putting on her seatbelt.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I keep doing that." Sesshomaru said.

"You'll get used to it." Lisa said, driving away.

"I hope so. Do you know how to get to my aunt's house?"

"No."

"Alright, take a left and keep going straight." Sesshomaru said while yawning and leaning back and relaxing in his seat.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me! Stay awake until we get there!" Lisa ordered, shaking him violently.

"I will, I will." He promised.

A few minutes later, Lisa pulled up into a driveway of a very nice house. She looked over at Sesshomaru, who looked so relaxed and so out of his mind that he might as well had been on PCP. His eyes were closed and he had an eerie, peaceful smile on his face.

"We're here and I need you awake." Lisa said, shaking him lightly.

"I can't, I'm about to pass out." He moaned. Lisa grabbed her unopened Mountain Dew and opened it, handing it to him.

"You know I don't drink that junk." He said with disgust.

"It will cancel out the sleepiness long enough to get Rin and get home, then you can sleep! Drink it!" Lisa ordered. Sesshomaru took it and chugged it quickly, suppressing a burp as he got out of the H3. They walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.

"Coooooomiiiiiiiing!" a woman's voice sang loudly. Lisa watched Sesshomaru's head nod off, but he teetered so suddenly that the surprise woke him up.

"Seriously, try harder. If I can take over 1000 milligrams in one day without being sleepy, then you can take on a measly 500 a day." Lisa growled.

"Is that a challenge?" Sesshomaru asked smugly.

"Sure, if that will get you to straighten up." Lisa laughed as the door opened.

"Sesshomaru! Oh, I missed yoooooou!" a woman screeched, attacking Sesshomaru, who braced himself for pain when she squeezed his injured shoulder, but nothing happened.

"Missed you too, please stop." Sesshomaru grunted as she let go.

"Oh, what happened to you, honey?" she asked worriedly, her brown hair in a messy bun.

"Some guy wrecked into me yesterday. I'm fine." Sesshomaru insisted. The woman looked over at Lisa, who stood in place and was completely silent.

"Is this that girl you were talking about…uh, Lisa, right?" the lady asked, holding out her hand.

"Yes, I'm Lisa." Lisa replied, shaking the woman's hand.

"Oh, well, you two come on in! You aren't strangers to meeeeeee!" she sang as she ran into the kitchen.

"Do you want something to drink?" the woman called.

"Got anything that's drowned in caffeine?" Lisa asked, getting a sharp elbow in her side.

"Ow, bastard!" Lisa hissed at Sesshomaru.

"We have Pepsi!"

"I'll take it!" Lisa said, dodging another elbow.

"Ah! Sesshomaru!" a little girl screamed with excitement as she ran hurriedly to the white haired man. Lisa remembered seeing her from when she and Max broke into Inutaisho's mansion. The little girl had long, wavy brown hair that had a small ponytail on the right side of her head. She also had light brown eyes to match. She had on an orange shirt with a yellow flower print and light blue jeans.

"Hi Rin!" Sesshomaru said, sweeping the girl into his uninjured arm and cradling her to his chest.

"Guess what?" the girl whispered in his ear.

"What?" he asked with a tone of curiosity.

"I'm staying with _you_ for two weeks!" Rin laughed.

"Sounds like fun, right Lisa?" Sesshomaru asked with eyes filled with amusement as Lisa shot him a dirty look.

"Oh yeah, major fun." Lisa replied wryly, taking the Pepsi from the woman as she walked in.

"I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Asa, and my husband isn't here right now, but his name is Rick." Asa said sweetly to Lisa, who snorted with delight.

"Sesshomaru wanted me to name our guinea pig Rick." Lisa laughed, shooting Sesshomaru a look of pure mock.

"Oh, hahaha! What did you end up agreeing on?" Asa asked, sitting down with Lisa on the couch.

"We didn't _agree_ on anything! Lisa named him Dee Donk and that was the end of the conversation!" Sesshomaru stated.

"Looks like Lisa already knows what to do when it comes to dealing with men. Good job!" Asa laughed spitefully. Sesshomaru sat down with Rin sitting on his lap. Lisa concluded that these two were BFFs at the least.

"You have a guinea pig?" Rin asked.

"Uh huh." Lisa said, taking a drink.

"They scare me!" Rin said timidly.

"Oh no, I guess you can't come live with us!" Lisa said teasingly, but Sesshomaru knew better. He heard the blunt sarcasm and he saw it written all on her face.

"Is he cute?" Rin asked.

"Cutest one you will ever see." Sesshomaru insisted.

"Ok! I won't be scared!" Rin chirped.

"Yaaaaaaay." Lisa cheered falsely while clapping slowly, convincing everyone but Sesshomaru.

"I am so appreciative of you guys doing this for me! I swear, I'll make it up to you!" Asa said kindly.

"No problem." Sesshomaru and Lisa chirped.

"Ok, Rin, go get your things and set them by the door." Asa said.

"Alright, Mommy!" Rin called, running upstairs. Lisa finished her Pepsi and sighed.

"Here, I'll take that for you." Asa said, taking the can.

"Thanks." Lisa chirped. When Asa left, Sesshomaru attacked.

"How stupid do you think I am? I heard every hint of sarcasm that you threw at them!" he hissed angrily.

"Oh God, get over it! It's not like I had a choice to say 'no' about this!" Lisa whispered back.

"You had better not even think of talking to Rin like that."

"If my little brother can take it, so can she. Plus, it's not like I'm going to hunt her down and attack her. I'll be busy with work, studying and other things, so, calm down."

"I am calm, I'm just warning you."

"Oh no, if I start being sarcastic the crippled man is going to get me! Nooooo!" Lisa said dryly while waving her arms in the air lazily. Sesshomaru growled but said nothing when Rin ran back into the room. Lisa smirked. He wouldn't dare be disrespectful in front of Rin. Funny.

"Ok, Rick just called and he's coming back for me, so you guys have to go. Sorry, I really do hate kicking guests out." Asa said sadly.

"Don't worry, we understand." Lisa said, walking to the door. Sesshomaru opened it and walked out as Rin grabbed his hand.

"Lisa, get her bags for me, my hands are full." Sesshomaru called arrogantly. Lisa murmured some nicknames as she picked up Rin's bags, staring daggers at Sesshomaru's head.

"Thank you! Bye Rin, Mommy loves you!" Asa called.

"Love you too, Mommy!" Rin called from the back seat of the H3. Lisa got in and revved the engine. This was going to be one hell of a two weeks.


	21. Chapter 21

Game Night…Again

"Lisa, do you and your friends _have_ to gather here tonight?" Sesshomaru asked as he watched her hook up the systems to the TV. Rin sat next to him on the couch with a coloring book, silently entertaining herself.

"Uh, yeah, it's been our ritual for years. We rotate all the time." Lisa replied, grabbing the Xbox controller and placing it on the shelf.

"Can't you make an exception?" he pressed, making Lisa roll her eyes.

"Look, I know you don't like James, and he doesn't like you either, but you have a room, use it." Lisa retorted.

"It's not me, it's Rin. Why should she have to listen to your shouting?"

"Take her in your room with you and crank up some Johnny Cash or something."

"Why should I?"

"Why should I call off Game Night? You know what, I think vicodin turns you into a PMS enraged man, do you need a Midol?"

"You're the one who needs it, why don't you take one?"

"Why don't you suck my balls?" Lisa snapped. Sesshomaru glanced at Rin, who continued coloring, and glared at Lisa.

"She's eight! Watch your mouth!" he hissed.

"Maybe if you wouldn't make such a big deal, she won't hear me saying balls, or nuts, or cock." Lisa growled as she checked that all the systems were working.

"Maybe I will give Naraku a key to our condo when I leave."

"Oh yeah, how mature. The next time that he makes randy jokes to me, don't bother protecting me."

"I won't."

"Fine! I'll call off Game Night!" Lisa snapped, walking to her room and slamming the door.

"Is she ok?" Rin asked worriedly.

"She's fine, she's just tired." Sesshomaru reassured her.

"And fucking pissed off!" he heard Lisa holler. She got on her cell and called Max.

"Yo!" Max answered.

"Game Night is off." Lisa growled.

"What? Why?"

"Call Sesshomaru and ask him."

"I will! Talk to you in ten minutes!" Max yelled, hanging up. Lisa listened and snorted when she heard Sesshomaru answer his phone.

"Hello?" he asked.

"What the hell is wrong with us coming over for Game Night? You're such a dick! Why don't you give Lisa a break for once, you stupid idiot!" Max shouted.

Lisa grabbed a tennis ball and began bouncing it off her wall and catching it, throwing it and catching it. Her cell phone rang and she answered.

"Hello." She said.

"Game Night is on, in three…two…one," Max counted down. Sesshomaru came in and sighed as he crossed his arms.

"Fine, they can come over." He said while rubbing his head.

"Haha…ok?" she laughed as he walked away.

"What did you do?" Lisa asked.

"Called his ass out, what else?"

"You are Jesus!" Lisa laughed quietly.

"Haha, yep, see you in a few minutes!" Max shouted, hanging up. Lisa sat her phone down on her bed, lying down on her back. She decided not to come out until her friends were over, but Sesshomaru had other plans. He knocked on her door, even though it was half way open, and stuck his head in.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"I don't know, find out." Lisa bit back without leaning up. She heard him exhale with annoyance, but he didn't remark to it.

"I'm sorry for what I said about giving Naraku a key, and refusing to protect you from him. Look, I hate fighting with you, I have to live here too, though."

"It's once a month, Sesshomaru. Once! That's all I ask for is one Saturday a month for them to come over here and hang without their parents on their ass about stupid shit. We aren't even that loud."

"I know, I know, it's just,"

"Rin, yeah, I got it. I promise to tone it down if you promise to stop suffocating me with restrictions."

"Promise." Sesshomaru said, holding his hand out. Lisa grabbed it and shook her head as she stood up, grabbing her phone and walking out into the front room.

"Lisa! I colored this for you!" Rin said, handing Lisa a colored picture of a dog.

"Wow, that's really good. My little brother can't color within the lines for his life." Lisa said, grabbing some tape, running back to her room to tape it on her wall. She came out a few seconds later and sat on the couch, only to moan when there was a knock on the door.

"I got it." Sesshomaru said.

"No, wait! Hold on," Lisa whispered, grabbing the wooden baseball bat she sat next to the door. She opened it quickly and got ready to swing.

"Oh! Shit! Hey, hey, hey! I'm not him!" Max yelled loudly.

"Hahahaha! She just about knocked your ass out!" James laughed as he walked in when Lisa stepped to the side.

"Oh my God, I love your hair Lisa!" Ashley chirped, bumping Lisa's fist.

"Yeah, got it done today. Hey, Max, you like it?" Lisa asked, opening the fridge and grabbing four Mountain Dews.

"Uh huh! Sexy!" Max called from the couch.

"What? Does my opinion not count?" James asked with a fake tone of hurt.

"Nope!" Lisa laughed, handing everyone a can.

"Hopefully that isn't your guys' child." James said as he took a sip. Lisa looked over on the smaller couch where Sesshomaru and Rin sat, then back at James.

"Are you naturally this stupid or do you do it to annoy me?" Lisa asked, taking her place next to Max, who was next to Ashley, James sat on the other end.

"Haha, depends on the subject!" James replied, dodging a fist.

"Alright James, since you feel the need to be a retard, you go turn the Xbox on." Lisa said, grabbing her Rockband guitar.

"Hell yeah! I call drums!" Max cheered, reaching over on the side of the couch, grabbing the drums and hooking them up. Ashley moved the coffee table over to the side for him while grabbing the other guitar.

"I call bass!" Ashley giggled as James cursed.

"James, I guess you're the vocals!" Lisa laughed, sitting on the arm of the couch as James grabbed the microphone.

"I guess so, since I'm the only one with a decent voice!" James shot back.

"It's so decent, that only whales and dolphins have the intelligence to understand its beauty!" Max laughed as he held his drumsticks up as weapons against the charging James.

"Shut up, fag!" James growled.

"My preferences have nothing to do with how badly I just smashed you." Max replied smugly as Lisa and Ashley laughed.

"Try to choose one that I can sing!" James whined as they went down the list.

"Bad Reputation! Oh wait, James isn't a chick!" Ashley joked as Lisa snorted.

"We're doing it!" Lisa laughed.

"What? No! I can't sing that high!"

"Scream it, not sing it! It's punk, not opera!" Ashley said as she hit the green button.

"Haha, you guys are awful." Sesshomaru said as he petted Dee Donk, who sat on his chest nervously.

"I know, right? They always pick on me because I'm mentally challenged." James laughed.

"Does that mean you're retarded?" Rin asked innocently, causing Lisa, Ashley and Max to fall into fits of laughter as James' face went red.

"Hahahaha! She did not!" Ashely laughed.

"She did! Ahhhahaha!" Max replied.

"Even an eight year old senses it! What in the world?" Lisa said with a smile.

"Rin, don't say that word, it's awful." Sesshomaru said calmly.

"Ok!" Rin agreed as she sat back, petting the nervous Dee Donk gently as he rested on Sesshomaru's chest.

"I hate you all so much!" James whined as the song started playing.

"Oh shit! Did I choose expert again?" Max asked as he frantically banged away on the drums.

"Probably! I just stuck with hard!" Ashley chirped.

"Expeeeerrrrt!" Lisa chimed teasingly as she took on the solo.

"E…easy." James said timidly on his break.

When the song ended, they all gave each other what they liked to call "well-rounded criticism."

"What the fuck were you doing, Max? Playing on pots and pans? Shit, my grandma could do better!" James laughed as Max ended up getting the lowest streak, 85 percent.

"Man, shut the hell up Mr. Easy-Peesy Lemon-Squeezy! I was on expert and I _still_ paddled your ass!" Lisa said defensively.

"Psh, he's not worth our comments, but that one made me giggle! Haha!" Ashley laughed as she took a drink of Mountain Dew.

"Lisa, when Max needs a lawyer, he'll call you!" James barked. Lisa answered her vibrating phone.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Heeeeeeey! Lisaaaa! My lawyer, yo, I need you to start smarting off to James again for me, ok? Thanks!" Max said into his phone, making Lisa and Ashley point at James tauntingly.

"Loser!" they laughed as they all sat down, turning on the N64. They each took a controller and took some preparation drinks of Dew before beginning their game of Diddy Kong Racing.

"Ahaha! Haven't touched this game in years!" Max laughed.

"But you still find time to touch little boys, huh, that's odd." James shot teasingly as Max struck him in the arm forecefully with his fist.

"Ow!" James laughed as he pushed Max into Ashley.

"Hey! You want some of this?" Ashley asked James.

"Yeah I do." James replied with a wink.

"Oh you sick," Ashley began.

"Hey, baseball bat's over there!" Lisa said, pointing at the door.

"Hahahaha!" Max laughed as he saw Sesshomaru's expression of disbelief.

"What?" Lisa asked Max as he pointed at Sesshomaru.

"Ahhhahaha! His face…hahaha! He looked so…confused and lost!" Max said, trying to catch his breath.

"Because I can't believe you dare call each other 'friends.' I mean, Lisa and I get into it pretty bad, but this is ridiculous." Sesshomaru said.

"Your face is ridiculous." Ashley shot back playfully.

"Haha, I like her!" Rin laughed as she clapped.

"Ouch, someone just got burned." James said as he coughed from a dry throat. He took another drink of Dew and was ready.

A few hours later, Max, Ashley and James all left because they had work or plans with other people the next day. Lisa sighed as she cleaned up the living room. Rin had fallen asleep in Sesshomaru's lap, making no sounds as he lifted her up into his arms.

"She can sleep in my room and I will sleep out there, just as I promised." He whispered to Lisa, who blocked his bedroom door.

"Take her in my room, I can crash on the couch. I'm immune to aches and pains caused by a couch. Plus, you got into a car wreck, so it's only fair." Lisa insisted quietly. Sesshomaru nodded as he turned around and walked into Lisa's room, setting Rin down gently on the bed, pulling the covers over her. Lisa grabbed her pajamas and changed in her bathroom, quietly closing the door behind her as she went out in the front room. Sesshomaru was getting a drink of water as Lisa sat down on the couch.

"Thank you Lisa, and good night." Sesshomaru said.

"No problem, night." Lisa replied with a yawn. She was completely drained for once.

A few hours later, making it extremely early on Sunday morning, Lisa moaned in her sleep as she turned from her side to her back on the couch, kicking the small blanket from her body.

Rin quietly tiptoed out into the living room and up to Lisa, poking her lightly.

"Lisa," Rin whispered quietly.

"Mmm…seashells." Lisa groaned, still not waking up. Rin moved closer to Lisa, poking her softly.

"Lisa," Rin whispered a little more audibly.

"Mmm." Lisa moaned, still showing no consciousness. Rin hovered over Lisa's face, poking her in the cheek.

"Li,"

"WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?" Lisa hollered as she sat up quickly, her body shaking as she heard crying. Lisa looked down and saw Rin on the floor, sobbing like she just got slapped across the face.

"What is going on?" Sesshomaru barked irritably, striding out into the living room. He saw Rin crying on the floor and picked her up, rocking her softly and glaring at Lisa.

"You scared her!" he snapped.

"Well hell, she scared _me_!" Lisa defended angrily. Sesshomaru sighed with annoyance as he calmed Rin down.

"Rin, what did you need?" he asked the small girl.

"Lisa's poster scares me!" Rin said shakily. Sesshomaru looked at Lisa curiously as Lisa frowned, trying to think of which one of the ten posters the girl was asking about.

"Oh, I think she means my glow in the dark poster of a skeleton messing around with poisons." Lisa said.

"Then go take it down." Sesshomaru ordered impatiently as Lisa flipped him off and walked to her room. She went over to the wall next to her closet and gently pulled it off, placing it inside the closet and pulling the doors shut.

"There, can I go back to sleep now, master?" she asked snidely as she knocked into his injured shoulder, not pausing or apologizing as the pain shot through his body, almost making him drop Rin.

"Ah, Lisa!" he hissed angrily.

"I'm asleep! This is just my subconscious talking!" Lisa barked. Sesshomaru placed Rin on the bed and pulled the covers over her.

"Can you stay here until I fall asleep?" Rin asked with a shiver. Sesshomaru closed his eyes as he lay down beside her gently, brushing the hair out of her face.

"I will." He yawned, falling asleep before her.


	22. Chapter 22

Bad Week

Lisa yawned as she stood up from the couch, her bed for the past three days. One night was nothing, two was tiring, and three was when the aches and pains began to overrun her body.

"I picked a hell of a time to quit taking vicodin." Lisa mumbled as she filled the coffee pot with water. She had the early shift at work today. Lisa looked at the clock and almost freaked. Not even six in the morning yet.

"Morning Lisa." Sesshomaru said, opening the fridge and grabbing the eggs. Lisa nodded while muffling a yawn.

"Yeah…morning." She replied tiredly. She walked back to her bedroom quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping Rin, and snuck into her bathroom to take a shower. Lisa locked the door and undressed, turning on the water and pulling the knob tight to run the shower.

"Hm?" Sesshomaru moaned when he heard Lisa's phone ringing. He decided it was none of his business and continued cooking the eggs. Then, his cell phone began ringing. He yawned as he answered the phone.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Sesshomaru, it's Lisa's mom, uh, why is Lisa not answering her phone?" Lisa's mom asked with slight worry.

"She's in the shower. Is there something wrong?" Sesshomaru asked, pushing the eggs around with the spatula.

"Well, something came up and I need her to baby-sit Anthony for a week." She woman said. Sesshomaru's jaw clenched.

"There's a problem,"

"What? If she says she doesn't have time, then you tell her I said bullshit!"

"No, it's not that. My little cousin, Rin, is staying here for a little less than two weeks."

"Oh…isn't she around Anthony's age?"

"Yes. It's not really my say so. Rin is my family, but Anthony is Lisa's. If you call back in about ten minutes,"

"Talk her into it. I'm sure you can."

"It's not my place…look, you're putting me in an awkward position. Please, call her in ten minutes."

"You're right, I'm sorry. Thank you." She said, hanging up. Sesshomaru sighed heavily as he scooped the eggs onto two separate plates. He began frying some sausage when Lisa came out, dressed up, her hair spiked.

"Hey, have you seen my keys?" she asked, looking through the couch cushions.

"No, I haven't. Your mom just called me and,"

"Ugh! What the hell does she want?" Lisa interrupted. Sesshomaru grimaced. Like mother, like daughter.

"She wants you to baby-sit Anthony for a week." Sesshomaru said, stirring the sausage.

"She wants me to do what?" Lisa said with disbelief.

"She tried to get me to talk you into it, but,"

"And where the hell are my fucking keys?" Lisa yelled, once again, interrupting Sesshomaru. He made sure she got the worse sausage, if he even knew how to cook badly.

"Here," Sesshomaru called, putting a fork on the plate for her and setting a Mountain Dew out for her.

"Thanks, you're the bomb." Lisa said calmly as she dug in. Sesshomaru sighed; at least she remembered to thank him. Lisa was halfway through her plate when there was a knock at the door.

"If it's Naraku, I swear, nobody will find his body." Lisa growled, flinging open the door.

"Hi Lisa!" Anthony cheered, latching onto his sister's waist. His brown hair matched his glacier blue eyes perfectly. Lisa didn't care; she peeled him off of her and glared heatedly at her mother.

"Mom! We already have one kid, we don't need another!" Lisa barked irritably.

"Look here young lady, your father and I asked other relatives waaaaay before we thought of you, and all of them can't! It's just for a week! You can manage! Now, here are his things, and I have to go!" Lisa's mother scolded, walking away heatedly. Lisa closed the door and set Anthony's bags by the door and went to finish her breakfast, but Anthony beat her to it, inhaling the remaining food.

"I'm still hungry." Anthony chirped, his glacier blue eyes wide.

"Damn you to Hell, you heathen." Lisa grumbled, drinking the rest of her Mountain Dew. Sesshomaru stood up and began looking around for something as Lisa pocketed her phone.

"What are you looking for?" Lisa asked as Anthony began chanting, "Feed me."

"Your keys. I have today off, so I can watch them. Oh, found them." Sesshomaru said, pulling them from under the TV stand.

"I like how they went from the key hanger to under the TV. I swear this place is haunted." Lisa said, taking the keys from his hand.

"Thank you, I don't know what I'd do without you." Lisa said with a relieved smile. Sesshomaru patted her shoulder.

"Let's not find out, shall we?" he said back.

"Ew, are you guys going to kiss?" Anthony asked with a horrid look on his face. Lisa threw a couch pillow at him and nailed him in the face.

"Go to Hell!" Lisa spat as Anthony giggled, throwing the pillow back but missing. She heard Sesshomaru chuckling and turned to him. He stopped immediately.

"Sorry." He said quietly. Lisa walked to the door with Sesshomaru following. She turned around and sighed.

"Put him to sleep by any means necessary, and I mean, _by any means necessary_. When he wakes up, put in the dreaded Barney The Dinosaur DVD. If he's hungry, feed him. If he's annoying, hit him with a baseball bat." Lisa ordered as Sesshomaru smirked.

"I think I can handle it from here, Sheriff. Have a good day." He responded without a beat.

A few hours later, Lisa was finishing up a report for Psychology class on her break. Her stomach growled, and like an angel sent from heaven, Max popped in with pizza and Pepsi. He set down the glass on her desk and poured some Pepsi in it, then put three slices of pepperoni and cheese pizza on her plate.

"Oh God, thank you!" Lisa said exasperatingly. Max laughed as he bit into a slice.

"No…prob…lem." He said in between chews. Lisa took a few drinks and continued typing, cursing as her phone rang.

"What?" she asked, taking a drink.

"Uh, the Barney DVD isn't working." Sesshomaru said calmly as Anthony's screaming was heard in the background.

"Anarchy, anarchy, anarchy, anarchy!" he screamed as he ran around crazily. Sesshomaru just chilled on the couch, watching him like it was a boring TV show.

"Have you tried the baseball bat?" Lisa asked, typing faster when her buzz kicked in.

"Lisa, no jokes. How do I shut him up?"

"You don't, you just ignore him until he passes out."

"Really?"

"Or you can try being manly with him."

"Manly?"

"You know, chase him, wrestle him, play violent video games with him, something that includes tiring him out."

"I don't do…any of that."

"Because you're too feminine! I'm gay and I'm manlier than you! Ahahaha!" Max laughed when he snatched Lisa's phone away.

"Put Lisa back on." Sesshomaru demanded calmly.

"Look, seriously, do something with him, I promise it will work." Lisa insisted.

"Alright. Bye." Sesshomaru said.

A few hours later, Lisa drove home and exhaled when she reached her door. One of the reasons why she moved out of her parents' house was to get away from constantly watching the son of Satan. Now she has to deal with him while dealing with classes, work, Sesshomaru, and any other thing, such as Naraku, that decides to pop up.

"I'm home." Lisa called, walking into the front room. She almost collapsed to the floor when she saw Anthony and Sesshomaru, leaned forward, elbows on knees, with intense stares at the TV as they rapidly hit the controller buttons.

"Shoot him, Anthony! I can't take them all!" Sesshomaru said, his eyes not leaving the screen.

"I'm trying! I'm trying!" Anthony whined, his tongue sticking back out.

"Oh, hi Lisa! How was your day?" Sesshomaru said, a smile of complete amusement spreading across his face. It wasn't the game; it was Lisa's expression.

"It was…boring. Yours?" she asked, sitting on the other couch next to Rin, who was also mesmerized by the video game.

"Ahhhh! Get him!" Rin screamed. Sesshomaru's gun blew the zombie's head off, making Anthony laugh.

"Nice shooting, dude!" Anthony laughed. Lisa frowned, since when the hell was he a gaming master? Since when the hell did he even think about playing?

"Nice shot, wasn't it Lisa?" Sesshomaru asked smugly.

"It was pretty good, but you can't compare to me." Lisa said back.

"Is that a challenge?" Sesshomaru asked, eyes not leaving the screen.

"It's a fact." Lisa shot back, giggling as Rin flinched when a zombie attacked Anthony. Anthony shot it to death and kept running.

"Show that lady up, Sesshomaru!" Anthony called, blowing up a group of zombies.

"Haha, she looks tired. I want to take her on when she's rested up." Sesshomaru said, knowing Lisa wasn't in the mood.

"Lisa, go take a nap so I can watch him spank you!" Anthony ordered. Lisa and Sesshomaru glanced at one another weirdly.

"Anthony, the next time you want to talk, don't! You have no idea how wrong on so many levels that sounded!" Lisa scolded.

"Make me, hoe!" Anthony shouted, instantly regretting it when Lisa hurled a pillow at him, striking him in the face and causing his character to jump of a ledge and fall to his death.

"Awww, man!" Anthony whined.

"Who's the little hoe now?" Lisa asked demandingly.

"Me." Anthony said depressingly.

"Heh, well, it's almost dinnertime. Lets go out." Sesshomaru offered.

"I pay for me and Anthony." Lisa said, standing up, but Sesshomaru reached into her pocket and grabbed her wallet.

"I will pay for everyone." He stated, grabbing her keys and walking out the door with Rin and Anthony by his side. Lisa frowned.

"I hate him…him and his fucking child hypnotizing machine or whatever they call it nowadays." She mumbled, closing and locking the door.


	23. Chapter 23

So You Had A Bad Day

Lisa and Max sat in the living room of the condo, playing Mario Kart while Rin and Anthony watched mindlessly on the other couch. Sesshomaru was in his room, getting ready for his night out with his friend Jake, who came to town earlier that day. Sesshomaru felt bad for having to leave Lisa with both kids, but Max showed up like an angel from heaven and said he would help her out.

"Damn it, Lisa! You and the stupid lightning bolt!" Max whined as his character shrunk, watching Lisa's character speed by quickly.

"Hey Lisa, are we going to be playing games all night?" Anthony asked with a whine in his own voice.

"No, but she and I are." Max retorted as Lisa did her victory dance for first place. Max finished third. Lisa sat back down and took a drink of Mountain Dew, looking up as Sesshomaru walked out, looking very well groomed.

"So, you and Jake are going out right? Haha, no strippers?" Lisa asked, remembering the hound dog by the name of Jake. Sesshomaru smirked as he shook his head.

"No, he's settled down with a wife and two kids…surprisingly enough." Sesshomaru said as he grabbed the keys to his brand new silvery-white Escalade '09.

"Have a good time and tell him I said hi." Lisa called.

"I will." Sesshomaru said, heading out. Max yawned as he set down his controller, stretching his arms.

"I'm hungry." Max chirped, standing up and walking into the kitchen. He grabbed a bag of potato chips and walked back into the living room.

"Lisa, when are we having dinner?" Rin asked as she looked up from her coloring.

"Uh, in about a half hour. It shouldn't take me very long to cook it." Lisa said back, grabbing a potato chip.

"I'm bored!" Anthony whined as he lay on his back on the floor.

"I'm Lisa." Lisa said.

"I'm Max." Max laughed.

Lisa and Max played games until it was time for Lisa to start dinner. She walked into the kitchen and pulled out a pan and a butcher knife. She pulled out two huge carrots and looked around for the chopping board.

"Hello?" Max answered his phone. Lisa watched his eyes widen as they watered up.

"Oh my God, is he ok? Mom, listen, do you need something? Oh…ok, I'm on my way!" Max said frantically, closing his phone and grabbing his keys.

"Lisa, my grandpa just had a massive heart attack and my mom can't get a hold of my sister and,"

"It's ok Max, go, I'll be fine. Call me and give me an update, ok?" Lisa said soothingly. Max nodded.

"Thanks and I will!" he said, running out the door frantically. Lisa sighed as she began looking for a pot to start boiling the water with.

"Stop it Anthony! Leave me alone!" Rin pleaded as she ran into the kitchen and behind Lisa, who saw her little brother covered in some of her fake blood he found in her room.

"Ugh, Anthony, you retard! If you don't stop, then I'm not feeding you!" Lisa shouted.

"So? Sesshomaru will feed me!" Anthony insisted heatedly.

"Yeah, when he gets home…at one in the morning!" Lisa laughed evilly as her brother frowned with defeat. He walked away and Lisa sighed.

"Rin, go watch TV, dinner should be ready in a little while." Lisa said, grabbing the carrots and decided to chop them up on the counter. She picked up the butcher knife and began skillfully and quickly chopping the carrots into diced pieces. A chicken salad for dinner sounded so awesome.

"AHHHH! LISAAAA!" Rin cried frantically as Anthony chased after her with a fake dagger, also found in Lisa's room. Rin and Anthony knocked into Lisa, just as she came down with the knife, accidentally slicing her wrist.

"Ahhh! Shit! You guys…oh damn!" Lisa gasped, realizing just how deep the cut was as blood poured out onto the counter and carrots. She grabbed the hand towel off the handle of the oven and wrapped it around her wrist.

"Uh…you guys, go get your shoes on, ok?" Lisa asked as she squeezed her wrist harder with the towel, which was starting to turn from light blue to red.

"Whyyyy? You said you were cooking!" Anthony whined obnoxiously. Lisa glared at him, if her wrist wasn't sliced, she would've strangled him to death.

"Just do it, you little bastard!" Lisa snapped, realizing Rin had her shoes on and was ready to go. Anthony huffed and ran to Sesshomaru's room to grab his own shoes. Lisa opened a drawer and grabbed a few more towels, dropping the bloody one and tying two small ones around her wound. She grabbed her keys and walked to the elevator as quickly as possible.

"Rin, press the main floor, please?" Lisa asked, already starting to feel light headed. She squeezed her wrist tightly, eyes closed as she leaned against the elevator railing. She heard the doors open.

"Hey Lisa, what's going on?" a deep, familiar voice spoke. Lisa moaned with disbelief at her luck.

"Oh, please, not right now." Lisa whined with disgust.

"Lisa? Are you…oh, where's Sesshomaru?" Naraku asked, hurrying into the elevator and putting pressure on her wrist.

"He's…I don't know. Oh, he's out with a friend." Lisa replied, realizing that Naraku wasn't in Creeper Mode today. The black haired male mumbled something as he led her and the two kids to his Ferrari.

"I'll drive, you obviously have lost too much blood. Here," Naraku said, opening the door for her and Rin. Anthony got in on the other side.

"Is my sister going to be ok?" Anthony asked worriedly. Naraku turned the car on.

"She'll be fine, I promise." Naraku replied calmly, backing out smoothly and looking over at Lisa, who had her eyes closed.

"Lisa, don't go to sleep." Naraku called sternly.

"I'm not!" she bit back, still feeling horribly uncomfortable with him, but she knew he wouldn't try anything around Anthony and Rin.

He drove quickly and effortlessly to the hospital, half carrying her into the building. Nurses took her to a room to be checked out immediately. Naraku sat down calmly in a waiting room chair, along with Rin and Anthony.

"So, how has school been, Rin?" Naraku asked her.

"It's ok. My teacher is really nice." Rin said back, swinging her short legs. Anthony was watching the TV, which had a football game playing.

"Lisa's brother, right?" Naraku asked.

"Uh huh." Anthony said, looking at Naraku with his glacier blue eyes. Naraku studied them, they weren't like Lisa's deep ocean blue ones, but they both had tanned skin, high cheekbones and perfect, white teeth.

"Is she going to be ok?" Rin asked worriedly.

"She should be, I drove pretty fast." Naraku retorted, glancing at an older woman who smiled sweetly at him.

Lisa leaned back in the chair as the doctor injected her with the wonderful pain numbing liquid. It was like a vicodin high times twenty.

"Can you feel this?" the doctor asked, sticking in the stitching needle.

"Haha, no." Lisa laughed highly. She was going to enjoy every minute of this. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Her right arm responded lazily, clicking the button and holding it to her ear.

"H…hellooo?" her voice droned out.

"Lisa? Are you ok? I came back to the condo to introduce Jake to Rin and there is blood everywhere!" Sesshomaru's rarely panicked voice rang as another man's voice shot, "Holy shit!" Lisa smirked.

"Haha, yeah, I finally got tired of Anthony's shit, so I stabbed him." She said, noticing that she sounded stoned out of her mind.

"That's not funny, where are you?" Sesshomaru demanded worriedly.

"The funny farm!" she giggled as the doctor shook his head with a smile, finishing up the stitches on her left wrist.

"Stop it! Where are you?"

"The hospital."

"Why? What happened?"

"I cut my wrist."

"Why?" he shot angrily.

"Mmmmm because I'm fed up with life." Lisa said sarcastically.

"I'll be there in a few minutes." He said sharply, hanging up on her.

"All done and if you joke around like that, I will send you to the funny farm." The doctor joked as he put a bandage over her wrist.

"Hahaha, that'd make my day." Lisa said, feeling the numbness and the high disappear. Her wrist still stung like one angry bitch, though.

"You need to baby the wrist and when you shower, don't use that arm, ok?" the doctor said as he walked her out.

"Got it. When should I come back?" she asked.

"It was pretty deep, but come back in two weeks. Actually, sign your name and put your number and I'll call you to come back and take them out."

"Ok." Lisa said, taking the pen and signing in her information. She walked into the waiting room where Naraku stood up.

"You should go. Sesshomaru is on his merry way." Lisa warned as he nodded.

"Ok." He said, walking away.

"Hey, thank you Naraku. I'm still not going to date you, but I really appreciated this." Lisa said kindly. He smiled slightly and shrugged.

"As if I was going to let you go alone. Plus, I have a date with someone, so, see you around." He said, leaving Lisa completely shocked.

"He…got over me? Hell yeah!" Lisa laughed as Anthony hugged her waist.

"I thought you were going to die!" he cried.

"Lisa! What was Naraku doing here?" Sesshomaru asked, a man with short black hair and green eyes following him.

"Um, he drove me here?" Lisa said as if it were obvious.

"Did you ask him?"

"No. He caught me bleeding to death on the elevator."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I didn't think about bothering you."

"Whatever." He growled, looking away. Lisa exhaled. Oh yeah, don't ask about how she was doing or anything.

"Hey Lisa, you going to be ok?" Jake asked, giving her a hug. She hugged him back, catching a glimpse of Sesshomaru over Jake's shoulder. He couldn't even look at her.

_'Is he jealous?' _Lisa thought, a sickened feeling rising in her stomach.


	24. Chapter 24

Typical Roommate Shit

Jake's leaf green eyes watched with amusement as he sat on the couch of Sesshomaru and Lisa's condo. He didn't need to have the TV on, those two arguing was more entertaining than contact sports for two reasons. One, smack talk wasn't allowed in sports, but it was here, two, there were no referees there to throw in a flag when one player grabs the other player's helmet.

"Goddamn it! You think I cut myself to get out of babysitting for a few hours?" Lisa shouted heatedly. Sesshomaru took a step towards her.

"Yes I do! I also think that you and Naraku have a little plot against me too!" he yelled. Jake found the potato chip bag that was left on the table. He started mindlessly munching on them, his eyes not leaving the fight.

"You are so fucking paranoid that even I can't laugh at it!"

"You're the one going around saying that the condo is haunted!"

"At least I have proof! You think that Naraku and I are plotting against you just because he just happened to be there!"

"It's true, he just showed up." Rin said sweetly. Jake snorted as the two adults went from ferocious fighting to calm parental figures.

"Rin, go back to Lisa's room and watch the TV, ok?" Sesshomaru suggested kindly.

"Yeah, and make sure you crank up the volume." Lisa added. When they heard the door shut and the TV turn on, they were right back at each other's throats.

"Why don't you go clean up the mess in the kitchen, woman?" Sesshomaru snarled.

"I may look Mexican, but I am not your slave! Plus, I was cleaning it up until you started this stupid argument!" Lisa shot back.

"Ooooh, she got you on that one, Sessh." Jake commented as he licked his fingertips. Sesshomaru looked over at his friend and exhaled, sitting down and relaxing. Lisa finished up cleaning her blood off the counter and threw away the bloody hand towel. She washed off her hands and walked into her room, where Rin was watching Spongebob with Anthony quietly.

"You guys can go chill out in the front room if you want." Lisa said, reaching in her drawer and pulling out her backup vicodin bottle. Sesshomaru only threw away one of two that she had bought off of James. Lisa walked back into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of Mountain Dew and walked through the living room.

"Lisa, you want to hang out with us? We're getting ready to watch porn, I mean, a movie." Jake said, trying to break the silence. Lisa smirked but shook her head as she pulled the sliding-glass door open and walking out on the balcony.

"No, I'm just going to hang out here." She insisted, sliding the door shut.

"I should lock her out." Sesshomaru said.

"Look, I am your friend, but I also never lie. You are being a complete douche bag, what's your deal?" Jake asked, turning his head to Sesshomaru, who looked at him with slight discomfort.

"I…I don't want to say." He said back. Jake shook his head with disbelief; he minored in psychology in college, so Sesshomaru definitely had some issues.

"Hello?" Ashley asked.

"It's Lisa, can you talk?" Lisa said, popping a vicodin in her mouth.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Sesshomaru and I really shouldn't be friends."

"What'd he do?"

"It's not him, it's both of us. I mean I can't believe we haven't murdered each other yet. He can't stand me, I can't stand him, and it's awful."

"Oh…you guys always argue though. Even back in elementary, you both argued about stupid shit, plus, constantly seeing each other day in and day out can be tiring. It's typical roommate stuff."

"It's hit an all new low, Ashley. I accidentally sliced my wrist earlier, so I had to take Itchy and Scratchy with me, but Naraku caught me and he drove me to the hospital, with the kids."

"So, what else?"

"Sesshomaru found out and he's been a complete dick since then. It's pretty bad when the worst stalker ever to prey on innocent girls was a better support system than the supposed sweetest man ever to walk the Earth."

"Wow, Naraku didn't try anything?"

"No, he's even dating other girls. He took a step forward while Sesshomaru took another ten backwards."

"Hm…you said that he's been acting weird? Sesshomaru, I mean?"

"Yeah, he got all pissed when I told him Naraku drove me and he couldn't even look at me for a good hour, then he started saying I purposely cut myself."

"Oh yeah, because you're all depressed and what not." Ashley bit sarcastically.

"I know, right? He can be so sweet, then he can be the coldest prick you will ever meet."

"Huh, that's weird. You know what I think? I think that for some odd reason, Sesshomaru is jealous. He just seems like it to me. Like when you're around James, he picks a little fight with James, or when James and Max called you when you were sick and he answered like he was your,"

"Boyfriend?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah! Exactly. Just my little thought."

"I thought the same thing earlier when I hugged Jake, he looked so mad and I just considered it jealousy, but what could he be jealous of? James has a girlfriend, Max is gay, Naraku is dating other girls, Jake is married with two kids, I mean, who or what makes him jealous?"

"Any guy makes him steam. There are some guys that can't stand it when a girl they like is hanging with other guys, whether those guys have girlfriends, or boyfriends in Max's case, already. It's weird."

"Uh huh, I agree."

"You seem to be taking this pretty well. Usually you go off the deep end, saying, "We aren't dating!" or "I don't like him like that!" You ok?"

"I took a vicodin a little bit ago."

"Oh, haha, that explains it. So, what are you going to do?"

"Actually, I'm thinking about moving out if he doesn't stop. I'm not an angel, but tonight wasn't my fault at all."

"Yeah, I agree. You have work and college to worry you; I think you should lie low and not talk to him for a few days. Trust me, not talking actually helps."

"Thank you Dr. Ashley. Well, I'm going to go, talk to you later."

"Ok, good night." She replied. Lisa sat her phone on the table, drinking the last of her Mountain Dew and opening the other bottle. She stared out at the sky, the moon was full and the ocean waves were crashing down as a breeze crept across her face.

"Pretty." Lisa mumbled, lying down in a beach chair that was on the balcony and falling asleep.

Lisa woke up and sat up, looking around slowly. She had fallen asleep for too long. Lisa looked at her phone and frowned. One in the morning and she had class at nine. Lisa walked over to the sliding-glass door and pulled. It didn't budge.

"What the hell?" she mumbled, pocketing her phone and pulling on the door harder. She peered into the window, through the blinds and saw Sesshomaru, watching TV in the dark. His eyes moved over to where Lisa was and he waved.

"Oh, is that the way you want to play? Ok, ok, sorry for the inconvenience, but you just challenged the wrong bitch." Lisa murmured, walking over to a window, a window that led to her room. A window that she always left open in case of emergencies such as getting locked out. Lisa pushed out the screen and skillfully and quietly slipped through the window, not waking Rin in the process. Lisa walked out of her room and out into the front room, where Sesshomaru frowned at her entrance.

"How did you get in?" he asked.

"Sea turtles, mate." Lisa replied sarcastically as she lay back down on the other couch, covering up with a blanket. Since Anthony came over, both Lisa and Sesshomaru slept on the couches, but now, they weren't too sleepy.

"Good night…buddy." Sesshomaru bit out.

"Sweet dreams…pal." Lisa bit back.

Lisa woke up just as the sun hit her eyelids. She looked over where Sesshomaru was still asleep. He didn't have class until ten, whereas Lisa had to go at nine. She walked into her room and into the bathroom, getting ready to shower.

Sesshomaru blinked awake, smirking as he spotted her keys. He stood up and walked over to the bar counter, grabbing them and lying back down on the couch. He snuggled back under the blanket and awaited the show.

Lisa spiked the back of her head, combing the remaining hair into a side part on her head. She got dressed and walked out into the living room, immediately noticing her keys were gone…again. But she knew who took them this time and it wasn't the alleged ghost. Lisa pocketed her phone and grabbed Sesshomaru's '09 Escalade keys and walking out the door with them.

"Damn. Oh well, I can live with her H3." Sesshomaru mumbled, quickly falling back asleep.

Lisa stopped as she stared at the keys in her hand. Last night she said he was awful, so why should she drop to his level? Lisa turned around and walked back into the condo, immediately waking Sesshomaru. She sighed as she walked over to him, without a word, she jingled his keys.

"Oh…sorry." He murmured, giving her the H3 keys and receiving his Escalade keys. Lisa turned on her heel and walked out again. Sesshomaru frowned, wondering what strategy she had planned this time.

"Hey Max, Sesshomaru and I have psychology at ten, can you watch Anthony and Rin or is your grandpa still down?" Lisa asked as she walked to her class quickly.

"Sure. My grandpa is going to be fine; he got to the hospital in time. How did last night go?" Max asked. Lisa frowned, she hadn't told him what happened, but she was tired of talking about it.

"It went fine, but thanks for today. Ok, I have to go, bye." Lisa said.

"No problem, bye." Max replied.

Lisa moaned as class got out. It was time for psychology with the crazy bitch, Mrs. Wheeler, and bitchy Sesshomaru. Lisa walked down the hallway and turned into another, quickly walking inside her class and sitting down, pulling out her typed report. Mrs. Wheeler was at her desk in a purple dress with red heels, her graying red hair and bright red lipstick with red-framed glasses.

"Ugh, what the fuck?" Lisa groaned as the slightly heavy woman smacked her lips. Lisa's expression disappeared as Sesshomaru strode in, a few girls following him and watching him from behind. Lisa pretended to read her psychology book, paying no attention as he sat down next to her.

"Did you ask Max to baby-sit? He came over saying you did." He asked as if nothing was going on. Lisa nodded slowly, realizing that what she was reading was really interesting.

"Oh, thank you." He said, getting a short nod but no words.

"Alright class, I'm going to hand you back your tests and you will hand me your reports. First off, Ryan," Mrs. Wheeler called as a tall guy with blonde hair walked up, taking his test and giving her his report. Sesshomaru pulled his out and shivered, getting an icy cold feeling on his left side, where Lisa sat.

Lisa waited patiently for her name to be called, as did Sesshomaru. They both began wondering why she hadn't called either of them.

"Ok, Lisa, Sesshomaru, come here please." The old woman called, making Lisa groan with impatience. They both walked up to her with their reports.

"You both got…perfects." She said almost disgustedly. Lisa felt like laughing, considering Mrs. Wheeler preferred to give out 99.6754 percents instead of perfects.

"Great." Sesshomaru commented, handing her his report and taking his test. Lisa did the same and walked back to her seat, placing the test in her folder.

"How is your wrist?" Sesshomaru whispered as Mrs. Wheeler told everyone to open his or her books. Lisa looked at him and shrugged.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she commented.

"Yes, I am a bit curious."

"Tonight, I'll slice your wrist open, and we'll see how yours feels, ok?"

"Jake and I talked last night and he called me out on something that I think I should tell you."

"That you become insanely jealous for no reason?"

"No, that I argue with you because it's fun."

"Oh, well, you're welcome. Let's do it again sometime, shall we?"

"Don't say that you don't enjoy it."

"No, Sesshomaru, I really don't. Unlike you, I have feelings."

"I have them too, I just don't,"

"Use them. Got it."

"I was worried about you."

"Uh huh."

"I walked into the condo and I saw blood everywhere, so yes, I did freak out. When I called, you sounded stoned out of your mind, I found out that Naraku drove you to the hospital and you wouldn't explain anything. It felt like reality was falling apart."

"…" Lisa frowned; she was actually feeling bad for him. She knew she would've done the same thing if it were her walking in the door, expecting a greeting but getting what looked like a scene from a slasher movie.

"If you would've just told me what happened, then I wouldn't have felt,"

"Out of control." Lisa said, having yet another epiphany. He wasn't jealous; he just wasn't in control of anything that went on yesterday. Lisa smirked. He was such a dominating prick that he had her feeling bad for no reason.

"Yes. I'm a control freak, I like knowing things and having power over them."

"Ah, well, you can't always be in control, a lesson well learned?" she asked him.

"Yes."

"Ok, we're good, let's not talk about it."

"I've noticed that you and I really don't get along."

"It's just typical roommate shit, we'll get used to it."


	25. Chapter 25

Blurble

"How's Anthony? Is he ok?" Lisa's mom's voice rang. Lisa was lying on the floor on her stomach with Dee Donk on her back. He seemed to enjoy riding on her.

"Yeah, I'm fine Mom, thanks for asking." Lisa said sarcastically.

"I was going to ask you, too."

"I'm the first born, I should get asked first."

"Fine. Well, I have to go, I'll pick up Anthony in a few days."

"Thank the lord." Lisa said, hanging up. She rose up slowly on her hands and knees, wincing as her left wrist stung.

"Ow, son of a bitch." She growled, holding her left hand to her stomach and crawling around on her only not injured hand and knees. She felt Dee Donk nuzzle down on her back as she started crawling around the living room.

"Lisa, have you seen my wallet?" Sesshomaru asked, coming out of his room and checking the living room. He stepped over Lisa and stuck his hand between the cushions on the couch.

"Did you check your dirty pants?" she asked, placing her forehead on the floor and letting Dee Donk slowly slide off her back and onto the floor with her. He squeaked defiantly, but when he landed safely, he continued his "happy chatter."

"Yes." He replied, checking the other couch.

"Did you look under your penguin boxers?"

"Shut your mouth!" He said, giving up and sitting down on the couch. He watched Dee Donk walk around Lisa, who was lying on her stomach. The small guinea pig was chirping with each step he took.

"Cuuuuuuute!" Lisa cooed as he snuggled next to her face.

"I think you like him more than you do me."

"Because he doesn't talk back, he cuddles, he's cute, and he lets me hold him and give him piggy back rides."

"Are you saying that you want me to ask you for piggy back rides?"

"No, I'm asking for you to be cute, cuddly, and not weigh so much."

"Ha, ha, you are funny."

"Thank you, I'm here until Thursday." Lisa laughed, kissing Dee Donk on the head. The guinea pig nuzzled by her neck and continued chirping happily.

"Cool! I just found two-hundred dollars in this wallet!" Anthony celebrated as he quickly ran into the front room. Sesshomaru's eyes widened. It was _his_ wallet, of course.

"Anthony, that's my wallet, hand it over." Sesshomaru said, walking over to the boy, who clasped the wallet in his arms and fell to his knees.

"No! You're just saying that because it has money in it!" he screamed defiantly.

"Lisa, do something." Sesshomaru pleaded.

"How much you want to pay me?" she asked slyly.

"Lisa!" Sesshomaru snapped.

"Anthony, give it to him." Lisa ordered dispassionately.

"No!" the kid shouted.

"Ok then." Lisa replied, continuing her Epic Floor Adventures with Dee Donk. Everywhere she crawled, the little black guinea pig followed, chattering and making Lisa giggle.

"Thanks, you're a big help."

"Maybe if you paid me better,"

"Shut up! Anthony, seriously, it's my wallet." Sesshomaru said, looking down on the heap of the little kid.

"I don't see your name on it!" Anthony retorted.

" I'm pretty sure that it has my picture _and_ name inside of it." Sesshomaru said, watching as Anthony opened it, frowning when it showed Sesshomaru's license.

"Crap. Here." Anthony said, handing Sesshomaru his wallet.

"Thank y…hey! Give me my money, you little creep!" Sesshomaru shouted, running down the hallway after him. Anthony ran inside Sesshomaru's room, slamming the door and locking it.

"Anthony! Open the damn door and give me my money!" Sesshomaru shouted, pounding on the door ferociously.

"I don't see your name on the money! I only see God's name!"

"Then it wouldn't make it yours either! Ugh, Lisa, control your bloodline!" Sesshomaru ordered, seeing that Lisa had put Dee Donk back in his cage.

"How? My pimp hand is still injured." She said, flashing the bandaged up wrist.

"Use your other hand!"

"This hand is reserved for eating and wiping only."

"Lisa!"

"I'm coming, cracker!" Lisa snapped, walking back to the door. She leaned against the wall and signaled Sesshomaru to shut up.

"Ooooh, what's this? Is this a Nintendo DS that I just found, lying in a gray backpack? It was in my room, so I guess it's _mine_ now!" Lisa said loudly, smirking as the door flew open.

"No Lisa, give it back it's m…ahhhhhhh!" Anthony screamed as Sesshomaru picked him up, grabbing the two hundred dollars from his pocket.

"Heeeey! My backpack is in Sesshomaru's room!" Anthony realized as he was put back down on the floor, making Lisa laugh.

"Haha, and yet you still fell for it." She said, walking back into the living room. Anthony pouted and walked into Lisa's room to watch TV with Rin.

"Thank you, here," Sesshomaru said, handing Lisa a hundred. She looked at it worriedly.

"I was only joking, dude. Put it away." Lisa said, settling down on the couch and turning the TV on. Sesshomaru frowned, knowing she was going to get one way or another. He sat down next to her, leaning back.

"Your brother is Satan."

"Told you."

"How did you live with him?"

"I don't know, but I moved out as fast as I could. Haha, then my mom thinks I'm still going to baby-sit whenever she wants me to."

"No, I will not let her bring him."

"Haha, good luck." Lisa replied.

A few hours later, when the sun was setting, Sesshomaru felt someone lightly poke him in the stomach. He blinked himself awake and realized that he had fallen asleep sitting up on the couch, his head tilted back against the wall.

"Hm?" he grunted, looking down at Rin.

"I'm hungry." She said.

"Alright, go get your shoes on. Tell Anthony to get his on, too." Sesshomaru said. He looked down and saw that Lisa had fallen asleep with her head in his lap, almost making him laugh.

"Lisa," he called, shaking her shoulder.

"Mmm…what?" she asked, obviously smiling from a good dream.

"Get your head out of my crotch, before I put you to work." Sesshomaru teased, smirking as Lisa sat up so fast that Jesus said, "Damn, slow down!"

"How'd I get there?" she moaned, rubbing her head as she stood up.

"You tell me, I fell asleep first." Sesshomaru replied, already standing and smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt. He blinked, realizing her hand hovered mere centimeters from his face, flipping him the bird. Sesshomaru raised his hand in her face and flipped her off as well. They both walked to the door, fingers still in each other's faces.

"Sesshomaru?" Rin called.

"Lisa?" Anthony asked. Both adults' heads turned to the kids, still flipping one another off.

"What're you doing?" Rin asked.

"We're…uh…showing how much we appreciate one another." Sesshomaru said quickly. Anthony's face lightened up a bit.

"Really? I thought that meant 'fuck you.'" He chirped, earning a punch on the top of his head.

"Ow!" Anthony whined.

"Don't cuss or I'm telling Mom!" Lisa scolded as Sesshomaru grabbed his keys.

"Do it!" Anthony challenged.

"I will, and I'll tell her that you're the reason my hand was almost chopped off!"

"You're the one with the knife!"

"If you weren't being an obnoxious dick, you wouldn't have ran into me, so it's your fault! Actually, it's Mom and Dad's fault for spawning Satan onto this Earth, but I don't like getting into technicalities! It was your fault!" Lisa said back as they rode the elevator down.

"Be nice, children." Sesshomaru said.

"We're the same age, jerk." Lisa growled.

"Actually, I'm two months and five days older than you."

"Oh my God, like that gives you much seniority!"

"It does."

"Fine…old man."

"I'm not old, I'm just older."

"Go shave your dusty old balls." Lisa chimed, closing the door to the passenger seat.

"Shut up, before I stick you in a microwave." Sesshomaru responded, turning his Escalade on and driving away.

"Ok kids, where to?" Lisa asked.

"Burger King!" Rin chirped.

"McDonalds!" Anthony shouted. Sesshomaru glanced at Lisa with disgust, making her laugh. He hated fast food and believed that if he did ever ate fast food, that he would drop dead of repulsion much faster than he would of a heart attack.

"I…I don't care." Lisa said.

"We'll take them where they want, and then you and I can go someplace else healthier."

"You eat Chinese food, and it's greasy as hell!" Lisa accused.

"But they cook it slower, and it actually tastes good." He defended, pulling into the Burger King drive thru.

"What do you want, Rin?" Sesshomaru asked as Lisa fiddled with his radio.

"My God, you don't listen to music?" she asked.

"No."

"I want a hamburger with French fries!" Rin called.

"Be more specific, there are twenty different hamburgers." Sesshomaru said, slapping Lisa's hand when she landed on the rap music station. He pressed another number, leading to static.

"That was my sliced wrist, you prick!" Lisa shot.

"I don't know, just as long as it's a hamburger with fries." Rin said.

"Rin, please, just tell me,"

"Sesshomaru, calm down! Use your brain! Do you want to get her the Whopper, which is three times the size of her stomach, or the Whopper Jr. that is much more manageable?" Lisa asked him, noticing that they had a few cars to go before they could order.

"Hm, oh, I don't know, maybe she doesn't want the Whopper." Sesshomaru said snidely.

"Yeah! The Whopper Jr. is what Mommy always gets me!" Rin said. Sesshomaru turned his head to where he was looking forward, because Lisa's triumphant smile was enough to make him want to kick a baby.

"Can I take your order?" a voice sounded, making Lisa's head turn so fast it almost snapped off.

"James?" Lisa shouted.

"Oh damn, Lisa? What do _you_ want?" James asked in a teasing tone.

"I want some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza," Lisa listed.

"We don't sell that here…_ma'am_." James said, making the "ma'am" sound like "whore."

"Oh, ok. Then some chicken tenders…with sweet sauce all over my body! Oh, and some pickles, a large number six, a milkshake and some pickles, and some pickles, and some pickles!"

"Damn it, Lisa! Just order!" James snapped.

"Fine, asshole! A Whopper Jr. with small fries! Actually, do you guys Super Size things?" Lisa asked with a laugh.

"No."

"Oh, do you guys,"

"We don't do Chuck Norris sized, either." James added on.

"Somebody's about to get smacked in the mouth!" Lisa yelled, almost crawling on top of Sesshomaru and out the window to go smack James.

"Would you want something to drink with that?"

"Beer."

"We don't sell alcohol."

"Uh…diet water."

"Ok one diet…wait? There is no diet water! Lisa, haha, stop it!" James shouted, letting out a few chuckles. He was enjoying this as much as she was.

"I want Sprite!" Rin said.

"Sprite!" Lisa repeated.

"Sierra Mist?"

"What the fuck ever!" Lisa snapped with a laugh.

"Ok, Sierra Mist it is then." James said.

"Do we get free refills?" Lisa asked.

"No, you stupid ass! You're in the drive thru! God, you're retarded!" James shouted, trying to hold back his laughter.

"Hahahahahahaha!" Lisa's laughing rang through the speakers.

"Now please…DRIVE AROUND!" James hollered, turning around and seeing some of his co-workers staring at him awkwardly.

"You are ridiculous! Sit down!" Sesshomaru ordered, pushing Lisa back into her seat. He drove around and grabbed the bag of disgusting smelling food, handing it back to Rin. He handed back her drink as well, reaching in his pocket to pull out some cash. Lisa spotted the hundred and snatched it, causing Sesshomaru's reflexes to react and grab her wrist…the stitched up one.

"Ow, ow, ow, you asswipe! Let go of my wrist!" Lisa yelled.

"Let go of my money!" Sesshomaru shouted, squeezing harder.

"Let go of my Eggo!" Anthony cheered from the backseat.

"Oh fuck." James sighed as his co-workers looked over to see the fighting "couple."

"Tch…if I were her, I'd leave that man!" Lakisha, James' manager, chimed in with a nod.

"Too bad they aren't married. They aren't even dating. They're just roommates." James said to her, smiling as Lisa grabbed the hundred with her free hand, making Sesshomaru reach over and try to grab it, letting go of her injured wrist.

"Lisa, damn it! Give it back!" Sesshomaru barked.

"Step off, fool!" Lisa shouted, pushing him away, crawling on top of him to hand the hundred to James.

"No, I have a ten! Stop!" Sesshomaru ordered, grabbing her injured wrist again, making Lisa sizzle with anger.

"Bitch!" Lisa snapped, slamming his arm down on the car door, making him shout in pain and let go.

"Here you go!" Lisa said, handing James the hundred. He sighed with annoyance, since the charge was six dollars and seventy-five cents.

"Christ on a cracker…ugh!" James growled as he took out some bills and counted up the change.

"Ninety-three dollars and twenty five cents is your change…you two sweethearts have a nice day. Especially you, Sesshomaru." James said with a mocking tone and smile to go with it. Sesshomaru nodded with disgust as he pocketed the change, driving away.

"Lisa, what the hell?" Sesshomaru asked angrily.

"I'm sorry, James and I got into a little argument a few days ago and that was my way of getting back at him." Lisa defended.

"By slamming my arm on the car door? I honestly think you fractured it!" Sesshomaru whined, driving with his right arm while babying the left one.

"I'm sorry, I forgot your arm was hurt just like you forgot my wrist was hurt." Lisa said.

"Please, don't start. I just want to get something to eat and go home." Sesshomaru said, finding McDonalds and pulling into the drive thru.

"Anthony, what do you want?" Lisa asked.

"Chicken nuggets and fries! And a coke!" he sang from the backseat. Sesshomaru ordered, Lisa paid, making him angrier.

"I have money." He said, driving to Subway.

"So do I." Lisa replied as he pulled into the parking lot.

"One of us has to go in, the other has to stay out here with the kids." Sesshomaru said, looking at Lisa.

"Fine…I'll go in." she said, only to be pulled back in.

"No, I will." Sesshomaru replied, getting out and walking in.

"Too bad you don't know what I want, dickface!" Lisa shouted inside the car. She felt her phone vibrate and she answered, knowing whom it was.

"What?" she asked.

"What do you want?" he asked with a laugh. Apparently, he heard her call him dickface.

"Toasted chicken sandwich, barbeque chips, some cookies, and I can get a drink at home." Lisa said with a sigh.

"Got it, be out in a few minutes." He said, clicking his phone off.

"Suck my balls." Lisa said quickly, hoping he heard her. A few minutes later, he came out and climbed into the driver's seat.

"Present them." He said to Lisa quickly, setting the food in her lap. Lisa had forgotten her comment and frowned.

"What?" she asked him.

"Present them." He repeated, making Lisa's memory return to her. She smiled at him.

"Maybe later." She replied sarcastically.

They all walked into the condo, Anthony and Rin had finished their dinner in the Escalade, much to Sesshomaru's displeasure. They threw away their trash and ran back to Lisa's room to watch more TV. Lisa and Sesshomaru sat on the couch with their food and drinks, digging in hungrily.

"I didn't notice…how hungry…I really was." Lisa said in between chews. Sesshomaru actually waited until he swallowed his food before talking.

"Me too…your wrist is bleeding." He said, taking hold of it gently. Lisa's first thought was, "Smack him!" but she held back the impulse.

"It does that everyday." She insisted, trying to pull away, but he wouldn't let her.

"Did you check to see if the stitches were broken?"

"No. Oh, don't, I'm still eating." Lisa whined as he took off the bandaging with one hand while eating a chip with his other. She groaned with annoyance. She hated seeing blood while trying to eat. Sesshomaru raised her wrist closer to his face, making Lisa's idea wheel turn.

"Oh no, it's going to get you…ahhhh!" she said, almost smacking him with her bloody wrist, but she stopped the motion skillfully, making him blink slightly. He looked at her and glared.

"Grow up!" he scolded, getting up and walking to his room. Lisa frowned, thinking she pissed him off…again, but he came back out with a white box. He opened it and pulled out new bandages.

"They aren't broken, but it can still get infected." He stated, placing anti-bacterial cream lightly on it and placing the bandage over it, wrapping her wrist with gauze.

"Psh, can I eat now?" she asked as he finished up.

"I don't know, find out." He replied, getting up to go wash his hands.

"I will! And I'll do it with my shirt _on_!" Lisa spat mockingly as she watched him shed his shirt that had a few bloodstains on it. He threw it in his room, grabbing a regular white t-shirt and putting it on.

"Then do it."

"I did." She said, finishing up her sandwich. She opened her chips and began munching on them as Sesshomaru sat back down.

"Thank you." Lisa said as he turned the TV on.

"You're welcome." He replied. They finished up their dinner, throwing away their trash and each getting on their couch to go to sleep.

"Aren't you going to change?" Sesshomaru asked Lisa as he walked from his room. He saw that she had on her penguin pajama pants with a shirt that had a polar bear on.

"When did you," he began.

"I decided to strip when you went to your room." She said, pulling the blanket over herself.

"Oh…good night."

"Haha, night…I love your penguin boxers."

"Shut your mouth!"


	26. Chapter 26

WW3 In the Office

"Lisa, pick up." Sesshomaru chanted as he tapped his keyboard. He was sitting in his office at work with Rin and Anthony because Lisa had to go to class that afternoon. Anthony was sitting in a chair, slouching over the other side of his desk, playing his Nintendo DS while Rin played a game on his computer. He slid the keyboard over to her and continued tapping his desk.

"What?" Lisa's irritated voice came.

"When are you going to be here?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Where the hell is the fire at? It sounds pretty quiet there to me." Lisa snapped.

"It is quiet, I was just wondering. So, may I have a time frame?"

"I'll get there when I get there, ok?"

"What's your trip?" Sesshomaru asked, frowning when she hung up on him.

"Hey Sesshomaru, where is my super suit?" Max asked, walking into the room. Sesshomaru blinked and let the question sink in before answering.

"It's…not in here." Sesshomaru replied uncertainly.

"Damn, you really can't take a joke." Max said, sitting down next to Anthony.

"I'm not angry about it, I just don't get it."

"You could've been a smart ass about it. Oh well, where's Lisa?"

"I don't know, but when she gets here, I'm giving her a piece of my mind."

"She'll chew it up and spit back in your face, dude. She told me what happened this morning."

"This morning…oh, that was an accident! Is that why she's taking her sweet ass pimp time getting here? I have a job to do!" Sesshomaru snapped with anger. Max laughed as he leaned back.

"Well, spilling chocolate milk on her Metallica shirt is pretty much a felony in her mind."

"I don't give a damn! It was an accident, unintentional, I was not meaning to anger her."

"Sorry, wish I could," Max began, but he was cut off by Lisa storming into the room.

"Lucyyyyy I'm hoooome! What the hell? Am I not supposed to buy groceries so we can eat?" Lisa asked furiously as she walked into the room. Max watched Sesshomaru stand up and stride over to her angrily.

"I don't like your attitude, it was an accident!" he snarled.

"You should've apologized, you pompous ass!"

"I did!"

"Not!"

"You must've not heard me say it!"

"You must've forgotten to move it from your thought bubble to your speech bubble!"

"You…I…grrrr…DAMN IT! I CAN'T STAND YOU!"

"I CAN'T STAND YOUR FACE!"

"THEN GET OUT OF MY FACE!"

"I'LL GET INSIDE YOUR FUCKING FACE!"

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, let's calm down now, children!" Max yelled, stepping in between the fighters.

"All of you shut up! I'm dealing with a client!" Inutaisho ordered as he walked in.

"Oh boohoo! They don't even like you!" Lisa retorted as she sat down.

"Great news, Lisa! Sharon called in a few minutes ago and I don't care that you look like a dirty hobo, clock in and get to work!" Inutaisho snarled.

"Wonderful job, Lisa, now I have to watch them for _five_ more hours." Sesshomaru said sternly.

"Bitch, I'll have you dead and buried six feet in the ground in five hours if you don't shut the fuck up!" Lisa shouted back, walking out of the room.

"Is it me or are they getting worse?" Inutaisho asked Max as they walked to the break room. Max grabbed his water bottle and shrugged.

"Honestly, it's like a cycle. First they're nice and sweet, then they're snippy and rude, then they're all out evil and vicious, give it a few days, they'll be sweet again." Max explained, taking a long drink of water.

"Do you think watching two eight year olds is what set them off? They were never at each others' throat this many times in one week."

"Nah, they have a part in it, but it's that time of the year. It's ok, I promise they won't hurt each other." Max said.

"You are so lucky that I don't have my gun with me!" Sesshomaru shouted angrily.

"I can kill you without one, Cracker Jack!" Lisa shouted back.

"I can make you disappear without a trace!"

"Good! At least I'll be away from you!"

"You'll be dead and burning in Hell!"

"Which is better than being stuck under your mattress like that man-slut you killed a few weeks ago!"

"I changed my mind, you're going under my bed!"

"You'd better check for the Boogeyman first, right Sesshomaru?"

"Right after I check my closet for the guy with a black eye, Lisa!"

"At least he was sexy! You stuffed Michael Myers under your bed after you ass raped him!"

"No, after you ass raped him, you vulgar woman with a penis!"

"At least mine's bigger than yours!"

"Oh my God, will you two shut the fuck up? Sesshomaru, go back to your office and don't come out! Lisa, go do something productive! Damn, grow up!" Inutaisho shouted, remembering that he still had clients in his office.

"Actually, separating them is the worst thing to do, trust me, I've seen this happen." Max said.

"What am I supposed to do with them? And the kids?"

"Ok, put Sesshomaru and Lisa in the white meeting room, where there is a table and chairs and a window, alone with no interruptions. I can watch the kids."

"Good plan, ok, let's go." Inutaisho said, walking off to Sesshomaru's office. He opened the door and let Max in.

"Hey, I'm watching the kids, the boss wants you." Max said, taking Rin and Anthony back to his and Lisa's office. Sesshomaru got up and followed his father down another hallway silently.

"In here," Inutaisho said, opening the door. Sesshomaru walked in, but quickly turned around to escape. Inutaisho had already shut the door and locked it from the outside.

"Dad! Don't you dare! Let me out!" Sesshomaru hollered, pounding the door as his father walked away. Inutaisho walked into the printing room where Lisa was printing out some documents.

"Hey, come here," Inutaisho said to her, walking away. He walked to the room, where oddly enough, Sesshomaru was no longer shouting and hitting the door. Inutaisho unlocked it and opened the door, seeing a fist come his way. He ducked quickly, letting Lisa get punched in the face. She hollered in pain as she stepped back, hand to her cheek.

"Oops," Sesshomaru said as Lisa's face grew red.

"Why you stupid son of a bitch! Die!" she shouted, grabbing his white shirt with both hands, shoving him into the table and pounding his face with her fists. Inutaisho took this as the perfect opportunity to lock them in. Lisa and Sesshomaru stopped fighting when they heard the door close and lock.

"Fuck!" they shouted, getting off the floor and running to the door, pounding on it and shouting profanities at Inutaisho, who was waving and smiling at them victoriously.

"Open the door!" Sesshomaru shouted.

"I am going to whoop your ass the second I get out of here if you do not open this door!" Lisa hollered. Inutaisho saw other workers walking by and he chuckled.

"No matter what they say, what they do, or what they offer, do NOT open this door! Understand?" he asked with a laugh.

"Yes sir!" everyone replied as they continued with their business.

Lisa sat on the table and rubbed her hurting cheek. Sesshomaru sat down next to her, looking at the floor.

"Sorry, that punch was meant for him." He said quietly. Lisa nodded and sighed.

"Well, whoever it was meant for, it still hurt. Nice shot."

"I don't like hitting women."

"I have a penis, remember?"

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Don't tempt me."

A few hours later, Max placed his jacket over the sleeping Rin, who had fallen asleep on the couch that was in the office. Anthony was asleep on the other end, sprawled out with his mouth wide open. Max heard a soft knock on the door as it opened quietly. Inutaisho's big white smile lit up the room.

"What're they doing?" Max whispered.

"You _have got_ to come see this!" Inutaisho whispered back, muffling a laugh. Max smiled as he quietly ran out of the room, following Inutaisho to the white meeting room. Max saw that there was a small crowd of workers who were on break seated in front of the windows, watching what was going on.

"Are they making out? Having sex? What's going on?" Max asked curiously as he fought his way to the window.

"Trust me, it's better than that!" Inutaisho laughed, pushing someone over to make a path for Max. Max peered in the window and smiled as he saw Lisa and Sesshomaru standing on the table, sword fighting…with chairs.

"My money's on Lisa!" someone shouted as Lisa almost hit Sesshomaru in the head with the chair. Sesshomaru swung back, but his wasn't as close.

"Hahaha, what're they fighting about?" Max asked Inutaisho, who was collecting bets in cash.

"Psh, who gives a shit? This is a gold mine!" Inutaisho chimed. Max shook his head. He grabbed the keys from Inutaisho and unlocked the door, walking in and handing the keys back to Inutaisho. Lisa and Sesshomaru turned to Max like wild animals, and they were hungry.

"Max, you stupid dick! This was all your fault!" Lisa shouted, throwing a chair at him. Max dove out of the way as the chair hit the door. He heard the crowd cheer loudly outside. She and Sesshomaru forgot about fighting one another and jumped Max, who started screaming like a girl when they pulled him off the floor.

"Hi Max." Sesshomaru said, letting go of him. Lisa laughed and patted Max on the back heartily.

"Hahaha!" she laughed.

"I thought you guys were going to kill me!" Max said with relief.

"We were, but now we're not." Sesshomaru said.

"What changed your minds?"

"Leverage." Lisa said.

"Soooo…I'm your hostage?"

"Yes. Sit down and pretend to be scared." Sesshomaru said, offering Max a not yet broken chair. Max sat down and put on his, "Save me" face. The door opened and Inutaisho came in, laughing.

"Alright, you guys can come out!" he said loudly. Max walked by him quickly as Sesshomaru and Lisa walked out slowly, eyeing their boss evilly.

"Truce?" Sesshomaru asked Lisa.

"For now." She replied with a laugh, shaking his hand.


	27. Chapter 27

Jealousy

"Lisa, I'll be there tonight to pick up Anthony!"

"No Mom! You're coming in to the city this afternoon then you pick him up this afternoon! I'm tired of looking at the little prick!" Lisa whined as she flipped through the channels on the living room television.

"Lisa, I don't know what your problem is, but I'm tired of it, so fine, I'll come pick him up around three, ok?"

"That's great." Lisa said, clicking her phone off. She was so ready to have the little bastard away from her, Rin, not so much.

"It's Saturday again, so who's house are you gathering at?" Sesshomaru asked, seating himself next to Lisa with the newspaper.

"It's Ashley's turn to host Game Night." Lisa said, landing on Discovery Channel to watch Mythbusters. Sesshomaru finished reading the newspaper and yawned, setting it down on the coffee table.

"Rin, are you ready yet?" he called. Rin came running out of the room with her orange bathing suit on and some toys.

"Yes!" she replied as Anthony came running out in his blue trunks.

"You want to come Lisa?" Sesshomaru asked. Lisa turned the TV off and stood up.

"I suppose so." She replied, following them out of the condo. Lisa answered her phone on the elevator, cracking her neck as she did.

"You rang?" she said.

"Yeah, uh, I was wondering if you were still cool for Game Night tonight?" Ashley asked with a yawn.

"Uh huh, I'm good."

"Well, uh, I was, uh, wondering if I could ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Is Sesshomaru free tonight, too?"

"I think so…why?" Lisa asked uncertainly. She was plenty sure that James definitely wouldn't want Sesshomaru there, Max, well, it depends, Lisa didn't really love the iced asshole at the moment, and so what was Ashley's trip?

"Uh…uh…ok, if I tell you something, promise me you won't tell anyone! Promise!" Ashley shouted anxiously.

"Ok, ok, calm down, I promise." Lisa said, sitting down in a tanning chair under a beach umbrella. Sesshomaru sat next to her, keeping an eye on the two kids.

"I kind of…I have a really bad crush on him." Ashley spat quickly, making Lisa jump in her seat and look at Sesshomaru with alarm. He looked at her and frowned.

"What?" he whispered. Lisa shook her head.

"Really? I mean…do you really have one or…haha, I can't even think of an excuse for you."

"I've liked him for a long time, but lately, it's been really bad, almost unbearable. I hate the fact that he graduated early!"

"Ugh, whyyyyyy? Give me some positives and I can cancel them out with negatives."

"He's full-blown hot, he's really smart, accomplished, and…I don't know, there's something hidden about him that I just love."

"Ewwwwww! He's ugly, he's so retarded that I can't laugh, it's not really his money, and let me tell you that the hidden thing you're talking about is the six foot ice pole shoved up his ass."

"Everyone has their flaws, Lisa! Even you!"

"No I don't, I'm perfect…at least I am compared to him."

"Whatever! If you don't ask him to come, I'll call him myself!"

"I will, I will, hold on one minute!" Lisa snapped, turning to Sesshomaru, who was still trying to catch onto the conversation.

"Hey, Ashley wants to know if you want to join us for Game Night?" Lisa asked.

"Oh…uh…sure." Sesshomaru replied unsurely, frowning as if to ask Lisa, "What's going on?"

"He said, "Yes!" Go away!" Lisa said, clicking the button. She pocketed her phone and let out a sigh of stress.

"Lisa? What's wrong?" he asked as she crossed one leg over the other, her head resting on her hand.

"Lisa, talk to me." Sesshomaru said, making sure Anthony and Rin were still in sight. He looked back at Lisa, who was shaking her head. Sesshomaru, without thinking, reached over and lightly rubbed her arm.

"Did they kick you out and ask me to join? I thought James hated me."

"No, it's, I can't tell you."

"Yes you can."

"I can, but I promised I wouldn't."

"Should I go? If there's a problem, I can stay home."

"No, no, I want you to hang with us, there's just some weirdness going on. Don't worry, it'll be all cool."

"I really hope I can trust your word."

"Me too."

Lisa's mom picked up Anthony and Sesshomaru and Lisa waited until about six-thirty that night to drop Rin back off at Sesshomaru's aunt's house. Lisa drove off towards Ashley's house, her anxiety kicking in on the way there.

"Look, I know you promised that you wouldn't say, but please, I'm your friend too, and if it has something to do with me, I have every right to know." Sesshomaru stated, his golden eyes focused on Lisa, making her anxiety go into overdrive. She began shaking involuntarily, twitching every now and then.

"Ok, fine, but if I tell you, I don't want you acting weird about it either!" Lisa said, fierce deep blue eyes locking with golden ones.

"I promise." He said.

"Ashley has a crush on you and she has now for a long time, and so since you don't go to high school anymore, she's having Sesshomaru Withdrawal Disorder, so she told me to bring you along, ok?" Lisa spat out, hating herself for breaking one promise to make another.

"Oh, that? Heh, I've known about that for a while. Calm down, there's no reason to stress." Sesshomaru said with a smirk.

"You like the fact that she likes you, don't you?"

"It makes me smile with pride."

"Of course, well, we're here…wooooo." Lisa said unenthusiastically as she pulled into the driveway of Ashley's house. It was two stories, with a lot of room inside. Her family wasn't super rich, but they could get by. Lisa walked in the door, making Sesshomaru sigh heavily.

"What?" she asked him.

"What happened to knocking?"

"I come here so much that I'm part of the family, plus, no one but Ashley, James and Max is here anyway." Lisa said, walking into the kitchen, past the island and opening the fridge, grabbing a few cans of Vault.

"Drink?" Lisa asked him.

"Water."

"Pussy." Lisa said, grabbing a cup, putting some ice in it and pouring water inside it. She handed him the glass and walked into the hallway, opening a door where stairs led down into the basement.

"Helloooo?" Lisa called, making her way down.

"Yoooooo! Lisa!" James called out loudly.

"The cavalry has arrived! Woooo!" Max shouted in his Army man voice. Lisa walked past the storage room, and an extra bedroom, that had a queen-sized bed and a nice TV inside it with a lamp on a bedside table. Sesshomaru saw that there was a huge, plasma screen TV hooked up to surround sound, a DVD player that could hold up to five DVDs at once, a stereo system, along with the gaming systems. Ashley sat on one couch, Max and James shared the other couch, and there was a recliner chair.

"You take the chair." Lisa whispered to Sesshomaru as she made her way over next to Ashley.

"Hey Sessh, what's up my brother?" Max asked, bumping Sesshomaru's fist.

"Nothing much. You?" he replied.

"What can I say? Work, school, and eat." Max laughed.

"I guess we can all switch out so everyone can play." James offered, but Sesshomaru declined.

"It's quite alright, I'm content with watching." Sesshomaru said, seeing in James' eyes that he earned some sort of respect. Sesshomaru set his glass down on the table next to him, leaning back in the chair and watching Max and James slaughter each other.

A few hours later, they turned the games off and went upstairs to refill on drinks and move around a bit.

"Haha, Ashley totally bombed your ass!" Max said to James as he pulled out a can of Vault, grabbing another for Lisa.

"Thanks, bro." Lisa chimed while clashing cans with him. Max laughed as James tried to punch him, but James pulled out a stool from the island and sat down on it.

"Oh damn, look at this, guys!" Ashley called from the living room. They all peeked in and saw that she had the weather channel on, and according to it, they were about to get pounded with a storm.

"Lisa, it's going to be here soon, we should get home." Sesshomaru said, checking his watch.

"Oh, I have extra rooms, you guys can crash here tonight." Ashley offered, but Lisa shook her head.

"I have to feed Dee Donk." Lisa insisted, looking for her keys. She didn't see Ashley's face turn red with irritation.

"Then _you_ go home! That doesn't mean Sesshomaru has to!" Ashley shouted angrily, making Lisa look up with utter disgust.

"I never said that he had to come with me! I said _I_ _should_ get home! What the hell is your deal?" Lisa shouted back. Sesshomaru saw Max and James looking at one another with complete astonishment. He concluded that Ashley and Lisa never, or rarely, fought at all.

"Then get the fuck out of my house! You're out, Sesshomaru's in!" Ashley hollered.

"Hey! Who died and made you queen? If anybody is getting kicked out, it has to be by a majority vote!" James shouted defiantly. Max stood up and nodded.

"Yeah! All in favor of Lisa staying in our group raise your hand!" Max said, raising his first. James joined in and stared at Sesshomaru.

"We voted you in a few hours ago, your vote counts." James told Sesshomaru, who raised his hand. Max glared at Ashley.

"Three against one, you lose!" Max snarled, grabbing his keys and looking at James.

"You riding with me or are you staying?" he asked James, who stood up.

"I'm leaving, this is getting weird." James said. Lisa followed and opened the front door, revealing a nice, thundershower waiting for them outside.

"Bye Lisa, love you!" James said, giving her a hug and running to the car.

"I'll call you later, sweetie, ok?" Max asked, getting a curt nod from Lisa. She unlocked her H3 and thanked God that she decided to park close. She ran out and jumped in the driver's seat, Sesshomaru joining her in the passenger's seat. He put on his seatbelt as he looked at Lisa worriedly.

"Are you going to be ok driving?" he asked her.

"Yeah…I'm good." She replied, turning the H3 on. Sesshomaru could tell that she was upset, but her face was wet from the rain, so he couldn't tell if she was crying or not. She backed out and turned on some thrash metal songs, indicating her bad mood. She pulled into the condo parking lot, which was the bottom level of a parking garage, so, no rain to run through.

Lisa immediately ran into her room and shut the door, making Sesshomaru worry if she was going to hurt herself or sleep her anger off. He changed into his pajamas and walked out in the front room, searching for his wallet again.

"Sesshomaru," he heard her voice quiver. He turned around and was met with his usually strong, proud friend, having an awful breakdown. She wasn't crying…yet.

"Lisa, you did nothing wrong, ok?" he said, walking over to her and wrapped his arms around her shaking body as she began crying. It made him feel sad hearing her cry, almost like an angel being tortured.

"It will be fine…don't cry." He whispered as the storm raged outside, the sky crying along with her.


	28. Chapter 28

Rawr

'Ahhhhhhh! Feed me, feed me, feed me, feed me, feed me, feed me! Goddamn it! I can't squeak any louder than this! Feed me, slaves!' Damn, these humans are never up in time to feed me. I'm soooo hungry! Lisa was upset, so she forgot to feed me last night and that asshole, Sesshomaru, doesn't even like me, so he's not going to feed me!

"Shut up, you little bastard! I'm coming!" Sesshomaru snapped, walking out of his room and into the kitchen.

'Nice penguin boxers, prick! Feed me faster!' I squealed back, but I know humans are too dumb to notice that I'm talking back to them. I saw his tall form walk over to my cage as he opened it.

"You need to stop hanging around Lisa so much." He commented as I snatched the carrot from his fingers. Psh, maybe if he would hold me more often, I would learn some manners. Mmmm, carrots are really good. He gave me a big one this morning. He's hoping that I'll be full after this fiesta, but I won't, in ten minutes I'm just going to start gnawing on my cage and squeaking again until I get more food. Hell, I've got them trained.

'Ahhhhhh! Prick! Bitch! One of you feed me again! One carrot isn't going to fill up my big belly!' I squealed as I chewed and rattled my cage again.

"I just fed him ten minutes ago!" Sesshomaru said, walking into the kitchen while buttoning up his shirt. Lisa walked out while mocking him.

"One carrot won't do, he's a man guinea pig and he needs more!" Lisa said, pulling out an apple and chopping it up. Oh yeah, that's why I love her more! She understands my appetite.

"A _man_ guinea pig? Lisa, I'm a man, he's not even a year old yet."

'So? I may be a few months old but I'll beat your ass! Get over here so I can…oooohhhhh! Apples!' Sorry, I get sidetracked a lot when it comes to food.

"Awwww, he's so cute! I love Dee Donk!" Lisa chirped as she turned around. Sesshomaru walked up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"You'll be fine?" he asked. I looked up from my apple and watch. Lisa nodded and sighed.

"I'll be ok."

"Positive?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Don't worry, now, have a nice day." She said, giving him a hug. I watch the guy tense up and look down at her, his face was pretty much saying, "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" Haha, I don't blame him. The girl can hug.

"I'll be home this afternoon. Try not to do anything regrettable."

"I won't. I'm just going to chill with Dee Donk."

'Yeaaaaaahhhhh boyyyyyy!' I squeak in return.

"Cuuuuuute!" Lisa chirped as Sesshomaru rolled his eyes.

"You're weird."

'You're dumb!' I squeaked.

"Your face is weird." Lisa replied as he walked out the door. She closed the door and sat down on the couch, flipping through the channels mindlessly. I saw her look over at me a few times to see if I was done yet so she could hold me. Lisa is wonderful; I'm still wondering why she's single. Maybe she and Sesshomaru are secretly dating and are so secretive that I don't even know about it.

"God, I'm going to scissor kick him in the head! Did he clean me out of my vicodin _again_? Ugh! Asshole!" Lisa shouted as she checked her hiding places. Haha, maybe not. Of course, I saw him trashing the pills earlier, so she assumes correctly. Lisa exhaled as she collapsed on the couch, grabbing the remote and flipping through the channels again. I'm finished with my apple, so she'll be holding me before too long.

"Hey, at least you love me unconditionally, right buddy?" Lisa said, opening the side door of my huge cage, picking me up and pulling me out, cuddling me to her chest as she lay down on her back.

'Of course I do! I would never clean you out of your drugs! Or tell you to get out because I thought you were trying to steal my potential boyfriend! I'm your best friend, regardless of what you do to me! I love you!' I chirped happily as I nuzzled her neck.

"God, you're cute." She cooed. I continued chirping happily, she makes me happy. I think I make her happy too.

Oops. I fell asleep on her, and she fell asleep, which makes us easy prey for the white haired asshole to walk in, pick me up, wake me up, put me in my cage, and steal Lisa's attention from me. That guy really needs to find another girl.

"Sleeping with the guinea pig again? Lisa, you're going to end up accidentally killing him before too long." His silky smooth voice said coolly. I felt his hands lift me into the air.

'Ahhh! Dickwad!' I squealed with terror. I was still half asleep! And I was comfortable! I bit his fingers angrily, which did nothing; he has no feelings of pain. He gently put me in my cage and I ran into my igloo, squeaking angrily.

"Awww, he's mad." Lisa yawned as Sesshomaru sat next to her.

"I'm not buying you another guinea pig if you smother him to death."

"I had a great day, thanks. You?" she replied shortly.

"Well, I got to work, only for my dad to tell me to go back home. The storm hit the building pretty hard, we may not be working for the next few days, but we still get paid." Sesshomaru explained.

"Awesome. I really didn't want to go in tomorrow."

"So, what should we do today?"

"I watched the weather and we're supposed to get hit by more thunderstorms, so maybe you and I can go rent some movies and watch them."

"Sounds decent. Do you want to invite Max and James over as well?"

"James had to go out of town for a few days, but Max can."

My ears perked up. I liked Max, too. He held me for a few minutes every time he came over. And he fed me while holding me, that's two gold stars.

000000000000000000000

Shit. I ate so much that I took another huge nap, so I missed the movie! Damn, I missed everything. Oh well, next time, I suppose? I took a few drinks from my water bottle and jumped when someone opened my cage, lifting me out gently.

"Calm down." His smooth voice whispered. That made me want to freak out. What guy holds a guinea pig late at night? He sat me in his lap as he turned on the TV, stroking my back lightly.

"Do you even understand me?" he asked as I continued chirping calmly.

'Yeah.' I squeaked.

"Do you even like your name?"

'Psh, it's easier to spell than yours, buddy boy.'

"I can't believe I'm talking to an animal."

'Me either. Did you actually throw out Lisa's vicodin or did you take it yourself?'

"If I tell you something, you promise not to tell Lisa?"

'I'm all ears.'

"I didn't throw out Lisa's vicodin, I took it for myself."

'Score! Put one on the board for Dee Donk!'

"I feel bad, should I give it back?"

'Yeah.' I squeaked loudly. He looked down with a frown.

"I suppose that means yes. You're the only other man in the house, according to Lisa, so don't think me as weird."

'Too late.'

"I guess I can feed you and go back to bed."

'Sounds like someone can read my thoughts. Mmmmm, I love lettuce.'

"Good night, Dee Donk." He said, placing me back in my cage with the leaf of lettuce. I guess he isn't that bad…I guess.


	29. Chapter 29

Let's Be Creepy

"So, what's up with you?" Max asked Lisa as she took a drink of Dew and leaned back in the chair. They were both on Max's porch, killing some time together. The sun was setting, but it was still light out.

"Nothing much. Actually, I found out what happened to my vicodin."

"What?"

"Sesshomaru took them…for himself. Haha, I never thought I'd live to see the day,"

"Wooow, that's weird. Haha, at least he can't yell at you about it."

"Yeah he can."

"Not without being a hypocrite."

"He doesn't care. He'll go stab somebody and then tell Rin not to ever do it."

"True…I'm bored."

"I'm Lisa."

"I feel the need to be super creepy, and I don't know why."

"Nobody knows why, Max."

"True…hey, look at that kid!" Max whispered, pointing to a young teenager boy walking down the sidewalk.

"Why?" Lisa whispered.

"Because, I'm going to scare him, watch!" Max giggled as he took off his shirt, revealing his evenly tanned, muscular chest. He waked down to the second step and unzipped his pants, staring at the boy while fingering his belly button.

"Hey kid…want some candy?" Max asked seductively.

"What the…Mom!" the kid screamed as he took off running down the sidewalk.

"Hahahahaha! Did you see his face?" Max laughed as he zipped his pants back up. Lisa handed him his shirt while holding her stomach, tears pouring down her face.

"Yessssss! Hahahaha, you're a creep!" she laughed, sitting back down in the chair, taking another drink.

"I know! Haha, oh well. Man, that was fun."

"It was. Good times, good times."

"So, anyway, I'm graduating in two weeks."

"I know. I'm excited."

"Me too, we can go party."

"For sure. Damn, does that dog ever shut up?" Lisa commented as the yippy dog across the street barked continuously.

"Nope. It's like he keeps saying, "Hey" over and over."

"Hey!" Lisa shouted at the dog, making the dog bark more.

"Heeeeeeey! Heeeeeeeey! Heeeeeeeey!" Max said loudly, causing a kid to walk up on the porch curiously.

"Are you ok?" the kid asked, thinking Max was injured. Lisa was hidden in the shadows. Suddenly, Max leaned forward and started barking "Hey" at the kid.

"HEY! HEY! HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! HEEEEY! HEY!" Max barked furiously, causing the kid to scream and run away, making Lisa laugh harder.

"Hahahahaha! You're insane!" she laughed, doubling over in pain.

"I knoooooow! I'm so fucking bored!" Max whined while holding back a laugh.

"Soooo, what do you think about Inutaisho inviting us for dinner tomorrow?"

"I think it's bullshit. You and I are going to end up babysitting Inuyasha and his skanky girlfriend all night."

"Thank God, I'm not the only one who thinks that. Hold on," Lisa said, answering her phone.

"Lisa, you are not going to believe this! Actually, you won't be surprised, but you won't believe it either, are you sitting down?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Yes?"

"Stand up, trust me."

"Ok…now what's going on?" Lisa asked, shrugging as Max stared at her with curiosity.

"Inuyasha and Kikyo broke up about ten minutes ago! It was the biggest, most entertaining fights I have ever seen in my life! Hahaha!"

"Holy shit, Max! The idiot and skank broke up!"

"Hell yeah! Praise the lord!" Max laughed, toasting to the sky.

"So, it was more entertaining than any of our fights?" Lisa asked Sesshomaru.

"Not by much, maybe if you would hurl a used pregnancy test stick at me more often. It almost hit me, but I was too fast."

"Hahaha, I'll be sure to put that on my list. Anyway, was it positive?"

"I was scared to look. I could've caught some disease if I did, but I'm positive she said she was pregnant."

"True, true. So what started all of it, speak clearly, I put you on speaker." Lisa said as Max scooted closer to her.

"Well, Inuyasha was sitting on the couch playing Rockband 2 and I guess Kikyo wanted to have sex, but he said he was in the middle of his favorite song, so she slapped him across the face,"

"Oooooh." Max and Lisa chanted with interest.

"I was sitting across the room with Miroku, who is a really down to Earth guy, but he's a womanizer no doubt. Anyway, I looked up in time to see them screaming in each other's faces, you know, just making up awful names."

"Sounds like two other people I know." Max chirped with a laugh,

"I get it, Lisa and I are pretty bad, but then somehow it went from Kikyo wanting to have sex, to Inuyasha being the father, to her screaming at me for laughing, then she threw the pregnancy test at me, missed, made me laugh more, and then Inuyasha said that they were done and he told her to get out."

"Hahaha, wooooow! I love it!" Lisa laughed.

"Ewwww, a used pregnancy test? What would you have done if it hit you?"

"Burn whatever clothing it touched, take five showers, read the Bible," Sesshomaru listed, making Lisa and Max laugh more.

"Well, at least we don't have to deal with her tomorrow, right Lisa?" Max asked.

"For real." Lisa chirped with a smile.

"Ah, yes, the dinner party," Sesshomaru groaned.

"Don't worry, we'll be good." Lisa said evilly.

"Do we have to dress nice or dress casually? Dress up like animals?"

"In between casual and nice." Sesshomaru responded.

"What?" Max asked.

"Wear a T-shirt with a nice tuxedo jacket over it, some nice blue jeans, you know, in between?" Lisa said.

"Got it." Max said.

"Well kids, I have to go. See you tomorrow." Sesshomaru said.

"Peace out." Max and Lisa chanted.

"Want to stay the night?" Max asked as he stood up, yawning.

"Sure, man, I'm beat. I think I'm going to wash up and then pass out on your floor." Lisa said, walking inside. She and Max raced upstairs and into his room.

"Hey, there's this dude that's been checking me out online, want to see him?" Max asked, turning on his computer as he sat in the chair. Lisa was in his bathroom putting on a pair of his sweatpants and his white T-shirt.

"Sure!" Lisa replied, washing off her face. She dried her face off and walked into his room, pulling up a chair next to him and sitting down.

"What's his name?" Lisa asked as Max clicked onto his Facebook.

"Jason. Personally, I think he's a little creepy. He acts like we're going out." Max said, showing a picture of Jason to Lisa.

"Yeah…he looks like one of those." Lisa commented. The guy had blue eyes, black eyeliner, and one piercing on his lip and died black hair with purple in it.

"He looks like a chick to me." Max said.

"Uh huh, he does." Lisa agreed.

"So, he keeps calling me "baby" and "sweetheart" and what not. It's getting on my nerves."

"Tell him to stop, stop talking to him, do something." Lisa listed off as Max went to Youtube.

"I ignore him, but I read his comments sometimes and it's weird, you know?"

"Trust me, Max, I know." Lisa laughed.

"Have you seen the Barack Obama song spoof? It's so funny!" Max said, clicking on a video. A young guy singing a spoof version of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" song. He was doing all of the dance moves and the lyrics matched to the beat very well. Instead of, "All my single ladies," it was "If you voted for me."

"Hahahaha! I love it!" Lisa laughed as she did his hand movements.

"I know, I thought it was pretty creative myself!" Max laughed.

The two watched videos and listened to music for a few hours until they both passed out on the floor, sprawled out next to one another. Max's mom, Sarah, opened the door and sighed as she shook her head.

"I swear, you two are going to be eighty years old when you hit twenty-three! Come on, get in bed!" she said, pulling Lisa off the floor and helping her into Max's bed.

"Mmmm, Mom! What're you doing?" Max asked with a whine.

"You get in bed too, young man!" Sarah scolded as her son crawled next to Lisa under the covers.

"I thought you didn't want us sleeping together!" Max shouted.

"She's eighteen and you'll be eighteen in a few days, not much I can do about it. Plus, it's not like you two are going to do some hanky-panky or anything. Now, what do you want for breakfast in the morning?"

"I don't care, here, let me ask Lisa. Lisa, what do you want for breakfast?" Max murmured.

"Cookies." Lisa growled.

"Cookies, Mom."

"How about chocolate chip pancakes?" Sarah suggested.

"Hell yeah!" Lisa shouted from the pillow.

"Ok then, good night." Sarah said, closing the door, blocking out all light from the bedroom.

In the morning, Max's alarm clock went off, but he hit the button and turned it off quickly.

"Mmmm, what time is it?" Lisa asked, pushing herself off her stomach. Max's bed was really comfortable, it was almost like the mattress, sheets and blankets absorbed her body when she slept.

"It's almost ten-thirty."

"Cool. I'm going to need a Dew."

"Me too, I'll be back." Max said, walking out of his room and downstairs. Lisa walked into the bathroom, using it and washing her hands and face. She slowly trudged downstairs and into the kitchen, where Max handed her a Dew as he chugged his own. The sweet smell of chocolate chip pancakes entered Lisa's nose.

"I love your cooking, Sarah." Lisa said as her mouth watered.

"Thank you, Lisa. They'll be done in a few minutes." Sarah said, already washed and dressed nicely for the day. Lisa was sure she looked like a hobo in Max's clothes.

"You look like a hobo, Lisa! Where are your clothes?" Sarah asked with a laughed.

"Hahaha, I didn't bring my pajamas, so I stole some of Max's." Lisa replied.

"Oh, well, Max, that means you look like a hobo too!" Sarah said, putting a pancake on a plate.

"Only when I sleep, Mom." Max replied coolly as he took his two pancakes. He taunted Lisa with his plate as he sat down at the table, taking a bite and making it sound like an orgy was occurring in his mouth.

"Oh Max, stop it! Here Lisa, you get the two big ones with extra chocolate chips." Sarah said, handing Lisa the plate.

"What now, bitch?" Lisa asked Max as she dug into her plate, getting envious stares from the other teen.

After eating, Lisa and Max rode back over to her condo so she could shower and get dressed for the dinner party that should've been called the "Lunch Going Into Dinner and Dessert" party. It started at two in the afternoon and was an all-nighter if you didn't feel like driving or got too drunk to able to drive.

"Damn Lisa, hurry up!" Max said as she turned onto the road that led to Inutaisho's mansion.

"Shut up, douche!" Lisa shot back. She pulled into the driveway and got out, walking up to the door. Max rang the doorbell continuously as Lisa repeatedly pounded the door.

"I hate you both!" Inutaisho spat as he opened the door.

"Hey buddy!" Max laughed as he and Lisa walked inside. Max whined as he saw other rich, important people dressed up nicely. He hurriedly buttoned up his nice jacket to hide his T-shirt.

"Relax, you aren't going to scoop anyone here." Lisa said, feeling her mouth drop open in surprise as Cory from L.A. ran up to her and Max.

"Hey Max, Lisa!" he said, his eyes flashing with happiness.

"Oh hey, I didn't know you were here!" Max said, giving Cory a hug.

"Where'd you come from?" Lisa asked, pointing bashfully at Cory.

"From my mother." He replied.

"Didn't we all?" Max asked.

"No, I budded from my dad, I'm the female clone of him." Lisa corrected sarcastically.

"Good afternoon, everyone." Sesshomaru said, popping from behind Lisa.

"Aaaaaaand speaking of budding, here's Sesshomaru!" Max said as Lisa and Cory laughed.

"What?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Nothing, it's just a joke." Lisa replied quickly.

"Explain it." He demanded.

"…Maybe later." Max said as Lisa and Cory laughed again. It was so much fun messing with people.

Max and Cory flirted with one another as Lisa went around, sampling different foods and ignoring Sesshomaru asking her what Max meant about him and budding.

"Later, ok?" Lisa said, taking a drink of water.

"Why?"

"Because I said so." Lisa replied sharply.

Later on, around seven that night, some people were leaving while others were hanging around the door. Lisa groaned as Inutaisho ran up to her.

"Hey, me and my friends are going out on a binge and we're taking an Escalade limo," he started excitedly.

"Rub it in." Lisa growled, knowing what was coming next.

"And since you, Sesshomaru, Max, Cory, Inuyasha and anybody else under twenty one are too young, you guys stay here! Bye!" Inutaisho laughed.

"Fuck you." Lisa sighed, sitting down on the couch.

"What'd we miss?" Max asked, coming downstairs with Cory. They were both sweaty and their hair was messed up.

"Nothing much." Lisa replied as Sesshomaru and Inuyasha walked in, sitting down as well.

"Queers." Inuyasha growled, regretting it when Max punched him on the head.

"Don't forget how many times this queer kicked your ass." Max warned as he sat down with Cory, both looking bored out of their minds.

"I'm going upstairs to finish me report, don't break anything." Sesshomaru stated as he left.

"Goddamn, I'm bored." Lisa declared.

"Hey, you guys want to make a video and post it on Youtube?" Max asked when he found a video camera.

"Hell yeah, let's do it!" Lisa said, standing up.

Sesshomaru was upstairs in his father's office, typing a report for his class he had tomorrow. He heard some laughing downstairs, but thought nothing of it.

"Dudes, it's like, the zombie apocalypse outside!" Cory said as he looked out the window.

"What?" Max asked, getting up with the camera recording.

"Bullshit!" Lisa chimed in as she ran up.

"Yeah look, Inuyasha's a zombie too!" Cory stated, pointing outside. Inuyasha was moaning as he pressed his face up against the glass door, blood smeared around his mouth.

"Damn it, now we can't do the Care Bears spoof." Lisa said.

"Lisa, they're all chewing on your tires, dude!" Max shouted. Lisa ran up to the window and smacked the glass door at Inuyasha.

"Hey! Get away from my car!" Lisa shouted. Inuyasha moaned as he tried to get at Lisa.

"Can we let a zombie in the house? We really need Inuyasha for the spoof." Lisa said as she turned to Cory and Max.

"I'm sure we can if we had some rope. Then we can do a voiceover." Cory suggested.

"Yeah, who can do a good Inuyasha impression?" Max asked, still recording.

"Hold on, I got this…I'm a retard!" she said in a deep voice.

"Hahahahaha!" Cory laughed.

"That's so dead on! Hahaha!" Max laughed.

They pulled Inuyasha down in the basement and tied him with two sweatshirts. He kept trying to bite Lisa, who smacked his hands.

"Dude, Inuyasha, we're trying to plan this out!" Max scolded, still recording.

"Yeah, quit it!" Cory said.

"Quit being a dick!" Lisa said, slapping Inuyasha's hand away again.

"Gahhhhhmmmoaaaaahhhh!" Inuyasha groaned.

"Maybe we can get Sesshomaru to be the pink Care Bear." Lisa said.

"True, if we ask nice." Max replied.

"Here, I'll go ask, give me the camera." Lisa said, taking the camera and running upstairs. She knocked on the office door.

"What?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Uh, we're making a spoof and we need you to be the pink Care Bear."

"Go ask Inuyasha."

"Well, uh, he can't."

"Why not?"

"He's a zombie."

"I'm busy, go away."

"Shit! Lisaaaaaa! He's looooose!" Max screamed.

"Tie him back up!" Lisa shouted.

"He got Cory! We need more sweatshirts and more actors!" Max called as Lisa heard moaning and groaning from Cory and Inuyasha.

"Sesshomaru, please? Cory's a zombie, too!" Lisa pleaded.

"Go away!"

"Oh, I'm coming for you, Inuyasha!" Max yelled.

"Will you guys quiet down?" Sesshomaru yelled.

"HIYA!" Max hollered.

"Hahaha, go Max!" Lisa cheered as she recorded it.

"AHHHHHHHHH! LISAAAAA! AHHHHHH!" Max screamed as Cory and Inuyasha attacked him.

"Damn." Lisa said, running downstairs and back into the basement, where she tied up Cory, Inuyasha and Max. They all had blood on them and were moaning.

"Unggghh! Mooaaahhhhhrrrrrg!" Max moaned.

"Mmmmoooo…ok, you're a zombie. Damn, now we definitely can't do the Care Bears spoof." Lisa said into the camera.

"What the hell is going on down here?" Sesshomaru's voice was heard. Lisa turned around and shrugged.

"Told you they were zombies." She said simply.

"You guys are idiots." Sesshomaru said as they moaned. Max got loose and attacked Lisa. She screamed as she threw the camera to Sesshomaru, who was frowning as blood poured from her.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Lisa screamed as Sesshomaru ran back upstairs. He slammed the door shut and sighed. He looked into the camera and frowned, opening the door back up.

"Mwaaaahhhhhgaaaa! Unghraaaaaahhh!" Max, Cory, Inuyasha and Lisa moaned as the slowly walked upstairs. Sesshomaru slammed the door shut and then opened it again. They were closer and still moaning. He slammed it shut once more, looking back into the camera.

"Goddamn it!" he barked, grabbing the broom and opening the door, swiping Inuyasha with it. He went tumbling backwards, knocking everyone else down as well.

"Oooowwwww!" Max whined.

"Shit!" Inuyasha growled.

"That wasn't part of the plan!" Cory shouted.

"Goddamn it, Sesshomaru!" Lisa hollered.

The camera cut off.


	30. Chapter 30

Take the White Pill and Feel All Better

"Damn it, you weren't supposed to knock us downstairs!" Lisa snapped at Sesshomaru, who was relaxing on the couch, staring at her as if to say, "Are you serious?"

"What was I supposed to do? Be scared?" he asked crudely.

"Uh, yeah, zombies, why wouldn't you be?" Max asked as if everyone is supposed to be afraid of the walking dead. Well, everyone is…except Chuck Norris, Jesus and the always-wonderful Sesshomaru.

"Because, I knew it was an act." Sesshomaru remarked.

"But we were on camera! We have shoot the ending again! And you're going to be scared this time!" Lisa threatened as Sesshomaru stood up, face to face, unless you want to get technical, face to chest.

"I will do no such thing. I have a report to type and it's due tomorrow." Sesshomaru insisted as Inuyasha came downstairs with Sesshomaru's flash drive in hand. Inuyasha handed it to Lisa who taunted Sesshomaru with it.

"If you do not help us, say goodbye to your report." She said.

"You wouldn't dare." Sesshomaru spat.

"Sesshomaru, my friend, you know me, I know me and I know that you know that I know me well enough to predict my actions. You see, I'm a very impulsive person; I act immediately and do not think about the consequences until I'm being punished, I know this, I've seen me do it. I could destroy it and you could get back at me in everyway possible, but right now, I just want my video. Let's be a good boy, and make everybody happy, it'll only be a few minutes."

"I will donate _ten minutes_ of my time." Sesshomaru compromised.

"Deal." Lisa said, handing him the flash drive.

"_After_ I finish my report!" Sesshomaru hollered, taking off and running to the stairs, but Max was the star of the track team at school and was just as fast at reacting as Sesshomaru was. He grabbed Sesshomaru by the shoulders from behind and pulled him off the stairs, slamming the taller white haired male onto the floor.

"Nice job." Lisa said while clapping. Inuyasha walked up to Max and sighed.

"I could never lay a hand on this asshole, how'd you do it?" Inuyasha asked.

"First thing's first, you got to have balls." Max replied with a smile that could melt anyone, gay or straight, but he wasn't on guard as Sesshomaru jumped back on his feet so quickly that it was almost inhuman. He gave Max a swift, clean uppercut to the gut with a right fist, sending Max to the floor. Inuyasha swung but Sesshomaru slapped his arm aside and punched him directly in the face with his left, sending his brother to the floor as well.

"Anyone else?" Sesshomaru asked as he looked at Cory, who quickly backed down, he didn't even dare to make eye contact, but Lisa took a small step forward, locking her blue eyes with Sesshomaru's golden ones. It was on. Lisa harshly hurled a pillow at his face, and he caught it easily, but she meant it as a distraction as she jumped on the table, onto the couch and tackled the stunned Sesshomaru to the floor over the back of the couch.

"Get off!" Sesshomaru snarled as Lisa turned him on his stomach and sat on his back, immobilizing his movements as she snatched the flash drive from his pocket and put it in her own.

"Ow, ow, ow," Max said as he stood up, still clutching his stomach. Inuyasha used the stair railing to pull himself up, hand placed directly on his cheek where Sesshomaru let loose.

"Maybe we should just post it as it is? I mean, someone getting hit with a broom and people falling downstairs…that's actually pretty funny." Cory suggested as everyone got up, rubbing injured places with their hands.

"Fine." Lisa said, handing Sesshomaru his flash drive as he turned and walked upstairs without a word being said.

"He can never have fun…ever." Inuyasha commented, flipping his long black hair behind him.

"Yeah, let's just go post this thing." Lisa said, walking to the nearest computer.

A few hours later, Max shouted to his friends with pride.

"Dudes! We already have over a thousand comments! Hahaha!" he laughed loudly.

"Any of them negative? Like we're retarded?" Lisa asked.

"I don't know. All the ones I've seen have been ones who like us. Someone said you're hot by the way, Lisa." Max responded.

"Oh my." Lisa said with sarcasm as she drank the rest of her Pepsi.

"Well, it was a pretty great video. I think we should thank Sesshomaru." Cory laughed as he saw a comment that said, 'Kudos to the guy with the broom! Awesome! I want him with me when the zombie apocalypse arrives!'

"Thank him for what? Hitting _me_ with the broom? If that's the case then I'm not thanking anybody!" Inuyasha barked defensively, but he felt better when another comment said, 'I feel bad for the hot guy who got hit with the broom.'

"Uh oh, negative!" Max laughed as one person said, 'This was a waste of my life…the Lisa chick was pretty hot though.'

"Well, sort of negative." Max restated as he saw Lisa glaring at him.

"You tell that dick to go watch some porn if our video wasn't good enough. I could've sworn at the beginning that we told people if they didn't like random, stupid things not to watch it." Lisa said.

"Well, I scanned over them all, and only one semi-negative out of 1,567 comments, pretty good odds if you ask me." Max said, giving everyone a high five. He then looked at the stairs, gulping.

"Someone should go apologize, not it!" Max shouted quickly.

"Not it!" Inuyasha and Cory quickly responded.

"Of course, get his roommate to do it. Oh well, might as well get the fight over with before we go home together." Lisa said depressingly as she walked upstairs.

"That's the spirit!" Max laughed.

Lisa stopped at the office door, her fist held in the air, not moving. She was contemplating on what to say once she walked in. "Hey dude, you abusing us with the broom made it better! Sorry about harassing you!"

"Ugh, Christ." Lisa moaned, knocking on the door. No response. She knocked a little louder, hearing Max hush everyone downstairs to listen.

"Come in, Lisa." Sesshomaru's voice chimed. Lisa walked in and saw him propping his head up on his hand, obviously watching a video.

"I'm a retard!" Lisa heard her own voice come from the laptop as Sesshomaru chuckled.

"Inuyasha really does sound like that." Sesshomaru said as Lisa walked over to him.

"Yeah, quit it!" Cory yelled at Inuyasha who kept trying to bite everyone.

"Quit being a dick!" Lisa snapped as she slapped Inuyasha's hand.

"Were you all really this bored?" he asked Lisa who smirked bashfully.

"Yeah, sorry." She said, watching the rest of the video with him quietly.

"The ending was perfect, if I do say so myself." Sesshomaru chirped arrogantly.

"Yeah, yeah, it made the ratings go through the roof, got it." Lisa said as if she rehearsed that line every waking moment. She stood up, her knees cracking from discomfort.

"Ouch." She said, even though it didn't hurt. Sesshomaru stood up from the chair, his hands working on her shoulders.

"You need a massage." He said as his hands placed their spell on her. She closed her eyes and smiled with pleasure.

"I'm already getting one." She replied.

"No, from a professional."

"Well, I don't want one."

"Too late. I already made you an appointment with me tomorrow after class."

"Why do we even have these conversations?" Lisa asked, reluctantly pushing his hands away as he pocketed them.

"I really don't know." He replied, grabbing the flash drive and walking out with Lisa and down the stairs.

"You don't want it from the president!" Max yelled.

"Hell nah, Kanye!" Cory echoed as Sesshomaru and Lisa frowned at them with disgust.

"Too bad Bush isn't the president anymore." Lisa said.

"Still, it's a great song." Max retorted.

"I'm going home, Lisa, you coming?" Sesshomaru asked, jingling his keys.

"I drove here, so I will follow in a few minutes." Lisa said back as he waved and closed the door.

"So…what happened?" Inuyasha asked Lisa.

"He was watching the video, thought it was great, no hard feelings." Lisa explained.

After Inutaisho and his drunken friends got back from boozing and binging, Lisa decided it was time to split. She bid a few goodnights and was out the door, in her H3 and headed home. Lisa pulled into the parking garage and walked in the elevator, pulling out her phone.

'Lisa, it's almost one in the morning, where are you?' the text from Sesshomaru read.

"Lucy, I'm home!" Lisa called, closing the door behind her. Sesshomaru was in his pajamas as he walked from his room.

"Good night." He said.

"Night, buddy." Lisa yawned, falling onto her bed and passing out.

"I know you think that I'm your mom with a penis, but get up! Class is in an hour and it takes you a while to go anywhere!" Sesshomaru scolded, pulling the blankets off. She stood up and growled.

"I'm already awake and dressed, what more could you want?" she mumbled.

"You're not going to change?" Sesshomaru asked with slight disgust.

"I don't know, how long do you plan on staying in here?" Lisa asked, pulling out a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt, refraining on the underwear until she heard the door shut behind him. She undressed, cleaned up a little and threw on clean clothes, grabbing her keys and phone and storming out into the living room.

"Here," Sesshomaru said, handing her a banana and a Dew.

"Thanks." Lisa said, munching down on the banana and chugging the Dew, finishing both off before the elevator hit the main floor. She threw the remains in a trashcan, hopping in the Escalade with Sesshomaru and sighing about class.

"I definitely am going to fail that French test." Lisa moaned, grabbing her books from the back seat.

"Did you study?"

"No."

"Should've studied instead of making zombie videos."

"Shut up, you were in it too."

"But I studied."

"Shut up!" Lisa whined as he smirked at her agony. The two ran into class and sat in their seats.

"Bonjour!" the woman called out happily.

"Ungh." Lisa growled.

"Ca va, Lisa?" Mrs. Lam asked.

"Uh…je suis fatigue et stuipde." Lisa replied, as Sesshomaru snorted. She just responded by calling herself tired and stupid…good going.

"Je suis fatigue. L'examine heure!" Mrs. Lam called out, starting to give everyone a test.

"Good luck." Sesshomaru whispered to Lisa.

"I'd say the same to you if you ever needed luck." Lisa replied, gulping as the test made no sense to her whatsoever.

Lisa knew more than she had thought and occasionally would look over at Sesshomaru's answers, but he threw a paper ball at her when she did, so she decided to try her guns and do it herself.

"You ok, Lisa?" Mrs. Lam asked, making Lisa blink.

"Huh, oh, you actually spoke in English. I'm fine, just tense." Lisa replied with a smile, turning around and grabbing her books and walking into the hallway, where Sesshomaru awaited.

"I thought you left ten minutes ago." Lisa stated.

"You and I have a massage appointment, remember?"

"Over my dead body! I don't want somebody I don't know rubbing on me…hell, it's how my parents ended up married!"

"Trust me, you'll enjoy it."

"The massage or the marriage part?"

"Both, if you give them a chance."

"Whatever." Lisa murmured, climbing into his Escalade once more, dreading the destination. It was a ten-minute drive and Sesshomaru pulled into the parking lot, getting out and practically dragging Lisa inside with him. He talked to the woman at the counter for a few minutes and she looked at Lisa.

"Oh yeah, your super stressed friend, I'll be right back." The woman said, winking at the two younger adults.

"Oh shit, I don't like this." Lisa stated as a few people looked up at her.

"Relax, I requested a man for you." Sesshomaru said, keeping a firm, iron grip on her arm as she tried to walk out.

"What in your hairy head makes you think that I will like this anymore?" Lisa snapped quietly as Sesshomaru chuckled, pulling her away from the door.

"You really do need to relax, you're going to die of a heart attack."

"I'd rather die than do this." Lisa sang in a whisper.

"Sesshomaru, I think I found a willing man to relax your friend," the woman's voice chimed as both adults turned around. Sesshomaru felt Lisa's stare go from the tall, good-looking man to glaring daggers at his own head.

"Oh, give it a chance." Sesshomaru insisted.

"Don't you guys have some big, hairy sweaty woman back there to do it instead?" Lisa asked, eyes shifting to the almost model-like man, whose smile was perfect and white.

"I'll be gentle." He said.

"I'll kick your ass." Lisa remarked.

"You will do no such thing, now, get back there." Sesshomaru ordered, grabbing her other arm and forcing her down the hallway, but Lisa was a fighter, her dad was Irish damn it!

"No! You can get me to be nice, you can get me to laugh, you can even get me to stop abusing vicodin, but I will tell you, nothing will get me back in that room! Let go!" Lisa hollered, pushing against Sesshomaru's chest with her back as the secretary and masseuse walked down the hallway leisurely.

"Lisa, I promise nothing will happen!" Sesshomaru yelled.

"If you make me do this I will start doing hardcore drugs and drinking profusely!"

"You're being irrational!"

"You're being a dick! I don't want to get a massage! I'm not stressed, I'm perfectly fine!"

"You seem a little tense to me." The man said, still smiling.

"You seem like you want your teeth knocked so far down your throat that you'll have to drop your pants to chew your food!" Lisa spat back, still fighting against Sesshomaru as she got one arm free.

"Ahhh! Lisa! Just do it!" Sesshomaru ordered, but Lisa wasn't going to. She turned around as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Go to Hell!" Lisa yelled, kneeing Sesshomaru in the stomach as hard as she could, causing both of them to fall to the floor.

About an hour later, Lisa and Sesshomaru sat outside, each one handcuffed as the cops talked to one another.

"So, who started this?" one cop asked.

"They did." Sesshomaru and Lisa said, staring at each other.

"Well, we know that you are both eighteen, but your parents were phoned and they're on their way here." The other cop stated.

"Could you just go ahead and take me to jail?" Lisa asked him with a sigh of annoyance.

"We could, but both of your guys' parents were very adamant about you not going. They explained that you're both friends and you both fight all the time and,"

"Lies! We hate each other! Ok, let's go to jail now!" Lisa interrupted.

"Now why would your parents make something up like that?"

"Soooo…we wouldn't go to jail?" Lisa said as if it were obvious.

"Goddamn it, Lisa! I knew you were going to get that poor boy in trouble one day!" Lisa's mom shouted angrily.

"Here we go." Lisa mumbled. Her mom walked up to Sesshomaru and hugged him tightly.

"Ohhh, I am so sorry! I know I didn't raise her to be like this! Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, you should check on your daughter." Sesshomaru insisted.

"Oh, psh, she's just fucking peachy! I know her too well! I'm so sorry!" she pressed on, hugging him again. Sesshomaru looked at Lisa, who was glaring back intensely.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Yeah." Lisa replied, looking away.

"Damn it, Lisa! I knew you were going to get my boy arrested!" Inutaisho's voice roared as he ran up to his son. Lisa rolled her eyes. What was she supposed to say? Sorry that your son tried to make me strip off my clothes and have a weird stranger rub on me? No, hell no, because his comeback would be, "Well, you are going to be a stripper, why not start now?"

"So, what should be done here?" one cop asked.

"Take me to jail…I'm begging you." Lisa said.

"This girl is unbelievably stressed and as payment for breaking my vase, she should get a massage and pay for it!" the secretary shouted. Lisa glanced at Sesshomaru, who was too calm and smirking way too coolly. Lisa froze. The bastard planned this from the start.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I should pay because I didn't break it. WE broke it over MY thigh, arrest that asshole." Lisa retorted, nodding her head to Sesshomaru.

"Never take responsibility, as always." Lisa heard her mom mumble.

"Shut it, Mom! Would you strip when someone was forcing you back there?" Lisa asked.

"I would for a massage!"

"Then you're a fucking slut! Someone put me in the car and take me to jail!" Lisa hollered.

"I think you should take the massage deal." Inutaisho chirped.

"I think you should take your fist and slam it into your balls for me. I'm not doing it."

"Lisa, come on, it's a half hour. Just do it." Sesshomaru said as the cop removed his handcuffs. Her handcuffs were removed as well. Her left wrist stung, the slice was healed up but the damage was done. She rubbed her wrist gently and exhaled.

"Nope." She said, keeping her ground. Sesshomaru walked up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Just do it." Sesshomaru pleaded, hoping that his voice would catch her good side, but no luck. Lisa shoved him away and walked inside the building.

"You're doing it?" Lisa's mom asked as her daughter pulled her wallet out. Lisa began counting off cash and handed it to the secretary.

"There's your money and thank you for a wonderful time, bitch." Lisa growled, walking back outside and walking away, hands stuff in her pocket. Sesshomaru followed her and everyone watched as the two disappeared around the corner.

"You need help." Sesshomaru stated, grabbing his friend by the shoulders and pressing her against the side of the building.

"I couldn't agree more, hold on," Lisa said, taking out a pill bottle and popping a vicodin.

"Where did you,"

"Sea turtles, mate."


	31. Chapter 31

And Action!

Sesshomaru and Lisa sat in Psychology class, doing whatever since the professor said that she had no lessons to teach that day. Lisa drew in her notebook and Sesshomaru was reading a book, focusing on the words intensely. Lisa yawned and leaned against Sesshomaru's arm, trying to see what was so interesting about the book.

"Can I help you?" Sesshomaru asked.

"No." Lisa replied, her eyebrows rising as she got to the part where the guy and girl were about to have sex.

"Oh my God, do you masturbate to this?" Lisa whispered to Sesshomaru, who pushed Lisa off his arm as he continued reading.

"No."

"What's the book called? Jack and Jill Make A Porno?" Lisa asked, trying to see the cover. Sesshomaru exhaled with annoyance as he handed her the book.

"Full Blast? More like Full of Smut." Lisa commented as she turned the book over to read the back.

"Haha, wow. Jamie is a journalist and Max is a rich friend of hers who is trying to help her solve a murder case while at the same time, trying not to strip her clothes off. They fly to New York, where a dead end led them and again, have to hold back their lust for one another. Even Jamie's dog, Steve, tries to avoid the neighbor's horny dog, Jeff. What the fuck are you reading?" Lisa said after reading the back description as Sesshomaru snatched the book away from her.

"It's actually very interesting." Sesshomaru shot back.

"Do they ever solve the murder case or are they too busy doing the nasty?" Lisa asked with a laugh as she took Sesshomaru's notebook.

"They are trying to solve it," Sesshomaru replied.

"While trying not to rip one another's clothes off, yeah, yeah, I read that part. I like how the guy's name is Max, makes me laugh."

"Shut up, and put my notebook back."

"I'm just reading over your notes, chill your nuts." Lisa retorted, pulling out her different colored Sharpie pens. Sesshomaru was too busy in Book World to notice her writing all inside his notebook. After Lisa was done, she giggled as she put the notebook back. A woman, early twenties walked up to Sesshomaru and smiled.

"Hi, I wasn't here last class and I was wondering if I could borrow your notes please?" she asked kindly as Sesshomaru grabbed his notebook.

"Sure." He said, handing it to her. She sat down next to him, pulling her notebook and pen out, opening to a blank page. She then opened his notebook, her eyes widening as she saw the contents.

"Uh, I assume you like porn?" she asked Sesshomaru, who looked at her offensively.

"I think porn is for scumbags." He retorted simply.

"Then why does it say, "I love porn," "Porn makes me hard," "Flirt and Squirt," "Sexy Single Secretaries," and other things all over your notebook?" she asked, showing him the words and oddly drawn pictures. Sesshomaru took the notebook and swung at Lisa, who was laughing and nailed her on top of her head.

"Goddamn it, Lisa! I do not like porn!" he hissed angrily.

"Hahaha, I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!" Lisa laughed, rubbing her head where he struck her. Sesshomaru flipped to the Chapter 13 notes and sighed.

"Sorry, my friend is very immature." Sesshomaru said.

"You're the one reading the book where people are too busy doing it instead of solving the case." Lisa said back, dodging another swipe from Sesshomaru, who was now using the harder Psychology book.

"Shut up!" Sesshomaru ordered, returning to his book.

A few hours later, they both returned home, Sesshomaru relaxing on the couch with a glass of tea and his book, Lisa sitting next to him with a Dew and a video game turned on. She played for a few minutes, giggling as she crashed other drivers.

"So, how many times have they done it?" Lisa asked, cursing as she almost spun out.

"They've attempted it three times, each time getting interrupted." Sesshomaru replied.

"Haven't they ever heard of the 'Do Not Disturb' sign you hang on your doorknob? Or a cowboy hat would work famously."

"They are now attempting it again, but they won't get interrupted this time."

"Why?"

"They're on his private jet and the only people on there are the two lovers and the two pilots."

"Hahaha, I can see the pilots putting the jet on auto-pilot and sneaking back to listen in on them."

"No, they aren't."

"Or they have secret cameras set up so when Max and Jamie go at it, the pilots can watch it while operating the jet. Of course, knowing their luck a duck would fly into the windshield and scare the piss out of them! Hahaha!" Lisa laughed, not really paying attention to what she was saying, but it made Sesshomaru give a hearty laugh, which was a rare occasion.

"What?" Lisa asked with a smile, pausing her game to look at him. Sesshomaru looked back with disbelief.

"Do you even listen to yourself when you talk?" he asked with a grin.

"I drift in and out." Lisa replied, standing up and walking into the kitchen. She grabbed another Mountain Dew and walked back into the living room, putting in another game in the N64 and sitting down with the controller. She took a drink and felt eyes bearing down on her.

"What?" Lisa asked, turning to Sesshomaru, who was looking at the TV, then back at her.

"You badger me about reading a book with minor sex scenes in it, and yet here you are, playing Pokemon? Do you do it on purpose or are you a natural hypocrite?" Sesshomaru asked with slight bewilderment. Lisa blinked at him and smiled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, whose country did Pokemon come from? Oh right, definitely not my country. If I remember correctly, it came from _your_ country. And don't bullshit me, you and I were Pokemon buddies back in the day, so don't even give me that shit!"

"Yes, back in the day means back in the day! I grew out of Pokemon in the fifth grade."

"And I haven't, what's the big deal about going retro? Do you want me to start preaching about how Johnny Cash is out of date?"

"No I don't, for two reasons. One, you love Johnny Cash, two, a song artist and a kids' show are two completely different things."

"Ok then, you still haven't grown out of the Backstreet Boys, I grew out of them…Hell, I was never into them." Lisa replied with a small laugh. Sesshomaru growled. Neither was he.

"You can't even defend the fact that you like Pokemon, I win."

"Here's my defense, Scooter! I like the _idea_ of Pokemon! The idea of cute, little creatures running around that you can raise and destroy things with is awesome; I just can't stand the show. It's so cheesy. Fucking Team Rocket should've been killed a long time ago. I'll blast them all the way to Hell."

"Haha, fine, you can have this argument." Sesshomaru said as Lisa returned to her game. She was playing Pokemon Snap, where you take pictures of Pokemon. Boring? Not to her. Her goal in every game she plays is to beat it no matter what.

About an hour later, Sesshomaru sat the book on the table and let out a long, sigh of disappointment.

"How did it end?" Lisa asked, still taking Pokemon pictures.

"Complete and utter garbage. I can't believe I read the damned thing."

"You didn't like it? Why did you keep reading?"

"The same reason you keep playing a video game even though you don't like it. Just to get through it."

"True, ah! Pikachu! You jackass!" Lisa yelled, snapping away on the game. Sesshomaru walked into the kitchen, pouring himself more tea. He looked up when he heard a knock on the door. Lisa paused the game and ran to the door, flinging it open.

"What?" Lisa snapped as she saw Ashley, who sighed and frowned.

"May I come in?" she asked quietly. Lisa opened her mouth, but a strong hand cupped itself over her mouth as Sesshomaru jerked Lisa to the side.

"You may." He said kindly. Lisa's muffled screams almost made him laugh…until she licked his hand.

"Ewwww! Disgusting!" Sesshomaru whined, running to the kitchen sink as Lisa ran back to her bedroom and slammed the door shut, shouting profanities. Ashley looked at Sesshomaru worriedly.

"She's still pissed?" Ashley asked.

"Not until you came over." Sesshomaru retorted, drying off his hands. He definitely wasn't in the mood for this.


	32. Chapter 32

Evaluation

"Goddamn it! Lisa! Sesshomaru! Both of you, in my office, now!" Inutaisho bellowed, drowning out the two younger adults' screaming at one another. They glared at each other as if to say, "Good going," and then walked angrily into his office. Inutaisho slammed the door shut behind him, walked behind his desk and sat down in his chair, letting out a sigh of annoyance.

"I don't think either of you have a clue of how _much_ I cannot stand your arguing, I really don't." Inutaisho stated calmly, but his face was stiff and his golden eyes were fixed on both adults coldly. Lisa and Sesshomaru were seated right in front of his desk, both staring straight at Inutaisho, both dead silent.

"Now, I have given you both innumerable opportunities to straighten up, to grow up…to _shut up_, but I suppose that I have to take matters into my own hands. You both know what I'm saying is true…right?" he asked, his voice beginning to match his facial expressions.

"Yes." Sesshomaru and Lisa replied quietly, actually fearing their boss at the moment. The door was closed; everyone was on lunch break and that meant…no witnesses.

"I am going to say that you both have to do something to straighten this up. You both are to have psychological evaluation and you are to be in therapy sessions for at least, I repeat, at least, two months…understand?" Inutaisho asked, calming himself down a bit.

"Yes sir." They both replied.

"You are both to leave the building at once, take the rest of the day off, no pay. Now, get out." Inutaisho said, actually seeing Lisa's eye twitch as her deep blue eyes seemed to turn red with hatred at that moment, but nonetheless, she stood up, opened the door and walked out without a word, as did Sesshomaru.

The next day, Sesshomaru was reading the newspaper on the couch calmly. He took a drink of water and turned the page, hearing Lisa walk into the kitchen. She opened the fridge, grabbing her a Mountain Dew and a huge leaf of romaine lettuce for Dee Donk. She walked over to the guinea pig's cage, opening it and dropping the lettuce in it. She sat on the couch and went to grab the remote. Sesshomaru watched as her hand stopped midway and twitch. Her fingers balled into a fist as she leaned back, lightly patting her leg with the side of her fist. Sesshomaru forgot to pretend to read the newspaper as she turned her head to him, biting her lower lip.

"I'm really sorry. I don't know why I went off on you yesterday like that. It's just…it's just that you talking to Ashley like nothing happened…I'm sorry, there's no excuse. Ugh, shut up Lisa." She finished while grabbing the remote, forcing herself to stare at the TV as she searched for a show, but she could feel Sesshomaru's judgmental eyes bearing down on her.

"Because I didn't shout at Ashley is the reason you went off on me?"

"Part of it, yes."

"What's the other part?"

"You kept saying that my report wasn't good enough, so I felt something go "Snap!" inside my head and I let loose."

"It wasn't good enough, and no, I'm not going to be rude to Ashley just because you two had a fight."

"I never wanted you to be, but it would've been nice if you weren't so excruciatingly friendly to her, of course, she likes you so no way in Hell are you going to let that go."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that it's the closest thing you're going to get to a girlfriend! I'll make sure of it! Ahhhhhh!" Lisa yelled as someone knocked on the door. She swung open the door and glared as her Aunt Susie stood in front of her, both little boys, Matt who was five, and Jacob who was seven, were standing next to her as well.

"Hi Lisa, I was wondering if you could watch these two for me? Your mom said that it was ok with you." She said quickly.

"Oh my God, is there a fucking sign on our door that says, "Leave your kids here and have a party!" What in the hell is wrong with my mom?" Lisa shouted.

"So, are you able to or not? I need to know within the next two minutes Lisa!" her aunt snapped.

"NO!" Lisa shouted, slamming the door shut, but Sesshomaru reopened it and sighed.

"I'll watch them." He said, letting them in.

"Why couldn't Marie give birth to you instead of Lisa? Thank you." Susie said, walking to the elevator. Lisa heard the comment and felt her ears burning with rage as her two cousins ran in, immediately taking over the TV and the gaming systems. Lisa answered her vibrating phone with fury.

"What?" she snapped.

"Don't give me that attitude, damn it! I went ahead and took the liberty to assigning you and Sesshomaru appointments with a psychologist today! You both have appointments at three!" Inutaisho shouted.

"We're babysitting you asswipe!" Lisa shouted back.

"That's too fucking bad! Either you guys go get evaluated or you both get fired!" he hollered, clicking Lisa off.

"We have appointments with a psychologist at three." Lisa said to Sesshomaru with annoyance.

"Great, what are we supposed to do with them?" Sesshomaru asked.

"I believe you said that _you_ would watch them, so solve it yourself." Lisa retorted, walking to her room and slamming the door shut.

2:30 P.M.

Susie picked up her two sons and thanked Sesshomaru for watching them. He pretended that he wasn't pissed about it and closed the door, picking up his keys.

"Lisa, do you want to come with me?" Sesshomaru called. He heard her door open as she walked out. He could tell that she was mellow, but still tense.

"Let's get this over with." She said, closing the door behind her.

3:00 P.M.

Lisa and Sesshomaru sat in the waiting room patiently…well, Sesshomaru was. He was calmly reading a 'Sports Illustrated' magazine as Lisa sighed with annoyance at each minute that ticked past three.

3:13 P.M.

Two men opened the door and walked out. Lisa looked at them almost hatefully. One man was older, mid-forties with light brown hair tinged with gray that matched his grayish blue eyes. He smiled at Lisa kindly.

"I take it that you're Lisa, right?" he asked humorously.

"Depends on who's asking and what you want." Lisa replied shortly. The man laughed heartily and motioned for her to follow him as the younger man with dark brown hair took Sesshomaru with him. They went into the first free room and Lisa went in with her evaluator four doors down from them.

"Alright, so my name is Mike and I'm going to be your psychologist for the day. I'm going to have you take some tests and ask you some questions and try to see if there's anything wrong with you ok?" Mike asked Lisa, who crossed her arms and nodded.

"My name is Joel and I'm going to be evaluating you today. I'm just going to have you take a few tests and try to see if there's anything wrong, alright?" Joel asked Sesshomaru, who nodded curtly.

3:37 P.M.

"Alright, let's start with the Inkblot Test. Here are the cards, you look at them and tell me what you see." Mike said to Lisa, handing her the cards. Lisa leaned back in her chair so she wasn't touching the table.

"This one looks like Sesshomaru yelling at me, and uh, this one looks like Sesshomaru saying that I'm not good enough…this one looks like Sesshomaru pissing me off and this one looks like Sesshomaru knocking my teeth down my throat and this one looks like Sesshomaru shaking hands with Satan…this one looks like Sesshomaru with breasts…this one looks like Sesshomaru with small breasts and this one looks like Sesshomaru with medium breasts…and this one looks like Sesshomaru with large breasts…huh, funny, this one looks like you…with breasts." Lisa said as she carelessly flipped each card on the table, staring at Mike intensely.

3:46 P.M.

"Ok, this is the Inkblot Test, I'm sure you know what to do. Here you go." Joel said, handing Sesshomaru the cards.

"Well, for starters, this one looks like an angry Lisa, so does this one, and this one, this one too, and this one, and this one, and this one, yes this one too, and this one does too, and hold the phone…this one looks like a pissed off grizzly bear, which, ironically, looks like an angry Lisa also." Sesshomaru said, haphazardly dropping the cards on the table.

4:01 P.M.

"How long is this going to take?" Lisa asked impatiently.

"Just tell me what comes to mind when I say…blue."

"The ocean."

"Orange."

"Oranges."

"What about…pink?"

"Pink…the singer."

"Ok, how about…red?"

"Blood."

"Green."

"Green beans."

"Yellow?"

"Seizures."

"Purple?"

"Jolly Ranchers."

4:05 P.M.

"I'm going to say a word, and you tell me what comes to mind." Joel said.

"Fine." Sesshomaru exhaled.

"Red?"

"Blood."

"Blue."

"The ocean."

"Green?"

"Grass."

"Yellow?"

"Pikachu." Sesshomaru said sarcastically.

"Orange?"

"Oranges."

"Pink?"

"Pink…by Aerosmith."

"Purple?"

"Jolly Ranchers."

4:19 P.M.

"Alright, here is a doll, take it, and I want you to pretend it's someone that you can't stand or love unconditionally, then you tell me who it is after you "talk" to that person." Mike said to Lisa, who stared at the doll like it was diseased.

"Alright…BITCH!" Lisa shouted, hurling the doll across the room and watching it smash into the wall and hit the floor with a thud. She looked at Mike and smirked.

"That was Ashley, she was just passing by." Lisa said with bitterness.

4:21 P.M.

"Take the doll and pretend that it's someone you dislike or love, then "talk" to them and tell me who it was afterwards." Joel said.

"This is ridiculous…DIE!" Sesshomaru hollered, launching the doll across the room, watching with pleasure as it hit the wall and fell to the floor.

"That was my brother, Inuyasha." Sesshomaru said.

4:30 P.M.

"Tell me, who do you see the most often in a day?" Mike asked, jotting down some notes.

"Sesshomaru." Lisa said simply.

"Whom do you talk to most often?"

"Verbally or does texting count?"

"Texting counts."

"Alright, it's a tie between Sesshomaru and Max."

"Alright…whom can you connect with on a mature basis?"

"Sesshomaru."

"Immature?"

"Max."

"What friend, out of all the friends you have, have you known the longest and most intimately?"

"Stalemate between Max and Sesshomaru."

"What comes to mind when you hear Sesshomaru's name?"

"Miserable bastard friend."

"Max?"

"Loving friend."

4:32 P.M.

"Sesshomaru, what comes to mind when you hear Lisa's name?" Joel asked.

"Bitchy friend."

"Max?"

"Other friend."

"So, how often do you and Lisa get into fights?"

"Almost daily now."

"How does that make you feel?"

"It doesn't."

"I'm sure you feel something."

"I feel nothing."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How about when you yell, do you not feel angry?"

"No."

"Why do you yell?"

"To be louder."

"Do you care for Lisa?"

"Of course."

"Care to elaborate?"

"No." Sesshomaru said, his face cold and stoic the whole session.

4:44 P.M.

"Lisa, what about Sesshomaru makes you so angry?"

"The fact that he's taller and has prettier hair than me."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

4:47 P.M.

"Sesshomaru, what about Lisa makes you…irritated?"

"The fact that she's shorter than me, so I feel the need to dominate and bully her."

"Really?"

"Yes."

5:00 P.M.

"Lisa, our time is up. You should have your results tomorrow when you go back to work."

"Woooooo." Lisa said dispassionately as she left the room, meeting Sesshomaru in the waiting room and going home.

7:32 P.M.

Inutaisho was making out with his wife passionately. Inuyasha was gone, no one was there, perfect time to have rough, animal sex, but his phone vibrated in his pocket violently and relentlessly.

"Honey, I have to take this, hold on…hello?" he asked, taking a deep breath.

"Yes, this is Mike, the one who evaluated Lisa, and Joel evaluated Sesshomaru, and well, we have some…interesting results."

"Interesting how?"

"Well, for starters, they both had almost the exact same answer to every question, with a few switch-ups, of course."

"Really now? I knew they were alike, but _how_ alike is my question?"

"If no names were mentioned in their answers, I would've thought the same person took these tests twice." Joel stated as Mike agreed.

"So, if they're so alike, why are they always at odds?"

"They're on the same page with one another, just a different sentence. They purposely, but at the same time, unconsciously, find little differences and pick at them." Mike said.

"Weird…so, any mental problems?"

"I believe that both Lisa and Sesshomaru have IAD."

"IAD? What's that?"

"Instant Aggressiveness Disorder. I'm sure you can figure out what that is."

"Wow, you just defined them both with two words…instant aggressiveness. Is there any treatment, preferably pills…preferably Lisa."

"Haha, unfortunately, IAD is just a fancy way of saying that they have a slightly shorter fuse than most people. Nothing a little counseling can't handle."

"Well, thanks for doing this, I have to go now my uh…yeah, I have to go!" Inutaisho said, clicking the phone off and chasing his wife upstairs.

Lisa lay on the couch half asleep as the TV show bored her out of her mind. All the lights in the living room were off, making her tempted to sleep even more. Finally, she gave in and passed out.

Sesshomaru walked out and turned the TV off before gently pulling the blanket over her. He knew why she was sleeping on the couch. Allegedly, Joe, the ghost, was making weird noises in her room…allegedly. Lisa never told him that was why, but he heard her shout, "Damn it, Joe! Go back to Hell!" angrily as she stormed out into the living room.

"Good night." Lisa whispered when he turned around.

"Good night, Lisa. I'll try to exercise Joe out tomorrow." Sesshomaru replied with a laugh. Lisa laughed too, which made him exhale with relief. Sesshomaru crawled into bed and quickly fell asleep.


	33. Chapter 33

Right You Are

"Instant Aggressiveness Disorder…are you serious?" Sesshomaru asked his father with disgust.

"What in the hell? If I have IAD than so does every other goddamn citizen of America! Have you met anyone here who doesn't lose their temper? This is bullshit!" Lisa snapped, making Inutaisho laugh.

"Haha, honestly I think you have it, not him, because technically, Sesshomaru is Japanese." Inutaisho said with a smile.

"He's been in America for more than four years, which makes him an official American citizen, thank you, case dismissed, I win."

"Hahaha! Wow, I love your comments!" Inutaisho laughed. Lisa glared at him suspiciously.

"You got laid last night, didn't you?" she asked while crossing her arms impatiently.

"Why yes I did, thank you for noticing." He said back with a smirk.

"You're welcome." Lisa growled.

"Now all you guys have to do is complete two months of counseling and you'll be set, ok?"

"No it's not ok! God…grrrr…ahhhhh! I just want to bite someone in the face! I'm going on break!" Lisa shouted, walking out of the room heatedly.

"Sesshomaru, you can get back to work now, I suppose." Inutaisho said quietly as his son left the room peacefully.

"IAD? Who the hell does he think he's kidding? Almost every American has fucking IAD." Max said as he bit into his sandwich. Lisa nodded.

"Right, that's what I said." She replied, taking a drink of Mountain Dew. Max finished his lunch and exhaled impatiently.

"I mean, you two _have_ been fighting more often, and it's pretty loud, but the rest of us think it's hilarious at what extent you two will go just to win a simple argument. It's not like Inutaisho hired a damn angel who never heard the word "fuck" or "shit" anyways. He pretty much hired a bunch of assholes who enjoy a good, colorful argument."

"Thank you! Praise the word of Max!" Lisa laughed.

"I know, I know, I'm great. Well, it's official, Cory and I are dating."

"…Am I supposed to rejoice? I thought you guys were dating way back in California."

"Shut up, that was a…test."

"More like some afternoon delight."

"Shut up!"

"Haha, chill your nuts, I'm only kidding!" Lisa giggled.

"I won't chill my nuts. Anyway, can I ask you something, and please, don't get pissed, but…when are you going to start dating again?" Max asked. Lisa blinked a few times while thinking.

"I don't know, do you think that it's super important? I mean, wouldn't he find it a little weird that I'm living with another guy?"

"True. So…uh, why not date Sesshomaru again? You guys were going good a few years ago, what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it, ok? I don't feel like dating until I'm on my own two feet, which means out of college and a good, steady job."

"Alright, just wondering…can I ask you one last question?"

"Sure."

"Exactly how many people knew that you two were dating?"

"Um…three, maybe four?"

"Wow, secretive much?"

"We weren't much for public affection. Plus, I would've had a mob of girls wanting to kill me."

"Haha, true, he was, and obviously still is, wanted by women, men and children alike."

"Ew, children?"

"Uh, yeah, there are little nine year olds running around saying, "He's hot, she's hot." Haven't you noticed?"

"Sorry, no, my little brother is more interested in playing video games."

"He's Satan's reject, he doesn't count."

"Hahaha, true that."

"Alright, sorry, just a little curious…one more question,"

"Jesus, really?"

"You never talk about this kind of stuff. I was wondering, do you think that whatever went on between you two a few years ago is the reason why you two argue now? I mean bitterness can be a part of this."

"I hold nothing against him, can't say the same for him though."

"Why not?"

"I'm not a mind reader, ask him yourself."

"Or I can not ask him and keep my life."

"Ugh, fine, I'll ask him if you're so curious, but it will have to be later, ok?"

"Sure, I can wait."

Lisa and Max worked diligently and quickly all day, avoiding anyone at work who would particularly annoy them…particularly their bosses. Lisa went home and showered, getting into more comfortable clothes and pulling out her French book to study for the quiz she had the following day. She fed Dee Donk and opened her book, falling into Study Mode.

A few hours later, Sesshomaru walked in the door, quietly closing the door.

"Oh my God, are you actually _studying_?" he asked with disbelief. Lisa looked up and nodded.

"Yeah, quiz tomorrow, duh."

"I think I'm stuck in the Twilight Zone, I'll be right back." He said, disappearing into his room to get in more comfortable clothes and grabbing his French book and notes as well, joining Lisa on the couch.

"You don't mind, do you?" he asked.

"No." Lisa replied calmly, feeling slightly awkward. She didn't even remember dating him until Max brought it up, now she couldn't look Sesshomaru in the eyes anymore without feeling weird. Sesshomaru noticed how unusually quiet she was, but he decided to take advantage of it now, ask questions later.

"So, do you want to quiz each other over the material, or,"

"Can you explain the stupid Le, La, L' or Lui and Leur rule to me, I don't get when to use what and it's causing my IAD to act up." She said sarcastically at the end.

"Hah, sure, here…is that your cell phone I hear?" Sesshomaru asked suspiciously as her phone vibrated. Lisa smiled but still couldn't look at him.

"Uh, no." she replied, slapping her hip, hitting a button and making it stop vibrating.

"I thought so, anyway, do you still have the worksheet that she handed out last week?"

"Uh, yeah, right here." Lisa said uncertainly, pulling it out. Sesshomaru frowned, as it was halfway eaten.

"Did you get hungry?"

"No, Dee Donk was running on the floor when I was, yeah, and he got a hold of it and ate it."

"Hahahaha! You lie!"

"If I'm lying, I'm crying and I haven't shed a tear! He seriously ate it!"

"What am I going to do with you? Here's mine, we should just use my stuff from now on, ok?"

"What? It's not like I did it on purpose or that I do it on a daily basis, it made me laugh, though."

"It is funny, alright…is that your phone again?"

"No sir." Lisa replied, smacking her hip again. She took his paper and read it, frowning, as each sentence she read made absolutely no sense.

"Ah…shit, I'm so screwed." Lisa moaned, as she reread it slowly. She felt her face burn as her cell phone vibrated again. She took it out, three messages from Max.

'What?' she texted.

'Ask him!'

'No! We're getting along right now!'

'No better time, just ask!'

"Ugh…Sesshomaru," Lisa began, putting the French paper down.

"Yes?"

"Do you, uh, remember when we…dated?"

"Of course, why?"

"Max wants to know why we broke up."

"Tell him."

"Uh, right. Why did we break up?"

"I believe that we both, nonverbally, agreed that it was much more fun being friends, plus, we didn't feel like devoting that much time to one another."

"So, basically, it was pure laziness?"

"Essentially."

'Ok Max, we didn't feel like devoting time. So we decided not to date.'

'So…too lazy?'

'Yeah, now we're studying, stop texting me.'

'Bye.'

"Awkward much?" Sesshomaru asked, flipping to a marked page in his book. Lisa rolled her eyes and sighed.

"That's Max for you. Sorry that I didn't remember, it's not like we made it official, we just…"

"Stopped. I know. So…was I good to you?"

"Yeah, how was I?"

"Perfect. Can we get back to studying, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable talking about this."

"I was just about to suggest that. Let's do this!" Lisa shouted loudly.

A few hours later, Lisa yawned, declaring boredom from French. She closed her book, along with her half eaten French homework. Sesshomaru set his book next to hers and stretched his arms, letting out a groan of pleasure from cracking his shoulders.

"Awww, Dee Donk, buddy, where are you?" Lisa called, opening the side door to his cage and pulling the black furry critter out. He squeaked happily as she cuddled him, lying on her back with her head in Sesshomaru's lap.

"Do you mind? I can't reach the remote, unless you want my stomach in your face." Sesshomaru said.

"Stomach me, I'm not moving!" Lisa said as he leaned over too far on purpose, smothering her face with his stomach. He leaned back with the remote in hand, turning the TV on.

"Thank Jesus that you smell good, because if I hinted even a little BO, I would've hit you in the face."

"Then don't lie down in my lap…can you at least put a pillow in my lap and lie on it instead, this feels weird."

"Bet you wish that I would give you a blow job."

"Yes, I would love a blow job from someone who looks like they'd bite it off. Sit up."

"Then hold Dee Donk while I go use the bathroom!" Lisa ordered, giving him the guinea pig and jogging back to her bathroom. He pet Dee Donk softly until she returned, taking him back and sitting back down, laughing as Dee Donk purred when she pet him.

"You're adorable." She said to the guinea pig. Sesshomaru smirked, feeling the need to mess with her for once.

"I remember when you used to say that to me. Except, you didn't use the word 'adorable,' I believe it was…delectable."

"You're a dick! Did I even know if that word existed two years ago?" Lisa asked defensively, making Sesshomaru's smirk turn into a smile of victory, he barely had to poke her to get her going. Maybe she really did have IAD.

"I'm pretty sure that's what you said, or maybe it was…delightful? I don't know, my tongue was in your mouth at the time, so I couldn't really understand."

"Psh, if anyone was dominating that relationship, or as I would call it today, relation_shit, _it was yours truly."

"So, our relationship was awful?"

"Only when you weren't being a good boy." Lisa replied with a small smile, making Sesshomaru scowl. She undeniably just turned this around and was now messing with him.

"I wasn't the only naughty one…Lisa."

"No, you just didn't do as you were told, that isn't naughty, it's disobedient, there's a difference."

"Oh really? I told you not to unzip my pants, but you did anyway."

"Haha, must I remind you who was the dominant one and who was the submissive one?" she asked with a big smile, even a small chuckle came out. Sesshomaru gritted his teeth. Their relationship was probably the most pure teenage relationship ever to happen. They never even made out, he was just teasing her, but now she was making him mad. Definitely not what he wanted to happen.

"No." he finally replied, wanting to end this before it got ugly.

"No what?" Lisa pushed on.

"Grrr…no, master."

"Good boy. Awwww, Dee Donk, you're sooooo cute! Haha, he licked me!" Lisa laughed as she pet the guinea pig's head. Sesshomaru crossed his arms with defeat as he continued flipping the channels.


	34. Chapter 34

Friends

"Ahhhhh! Lisa! You're driving like a fucknut, slow down!" Max screamed, pressing the button on his controller all the way down, thinking that it would make him go somewhat faster.

"NITRO BABY! WOOOOOO!" Lisa shouted, pressing the nitro button and watching as her car sped past all the others, flying into first place and crossing the finish line.

"Goddamn it! Why didn't you help me?" Max whined.

"Because, I would've gotten fifth and you would've gotten sixth, no points, but since I got first and you got fourth, we got a total of 125 points! Chill your nuts!"

"I know, but that one guy was riding my ass!"

"I thought you liked that!"

"No, I like riding other peoples' asses!"

"Well, don't dish out what you can't take! That's my life motto!"

"I thought your life motto was Hakuna Matata." Sesshomaru commented grumpily as he walked out of his room…shirtless. Max stared for a little bit, but then remembered that he had a boyfriend, so he turned his head as Lisa laughed.

"What? I'm not allowed to have two life mottos?" Lisa asked with a laugh as Sesshomaru poured himself some coffee.

"I don't know, am I not allowed to sleep in on Saturdays?" he asked back, his eyes locking with hers irritably.

"Sorry, I got the nitro and I was so excited!" Lisa explained, pointing to the TV. Sesshomaru shook his head and drank the rest of the coffee, looking for something to eat.

"Go put a shirt on, there are children out here!" Lisa snapped as he sat on the other couch with a banana. He peeled it while staring at her intensely.

"I go by age, not I.Q." he replied simply, biting into the banana. Max immediately burst into a laughing fit, making Lisa and Sesshomaru turn their attentions on him.

"What? Was it what he said?" Lisa asked Max, who shook his head no and pointed at the banana. Lisa frowned.

"You hungry?"

"Hahahaha…no! I just heard this really dirty joke about bananas yesterday! Hahahaha! It was really gross!" he laughed as Sesshomaru stared at his banana like it was diseased. He definitely just lost his appetite. He had no clue what was coming next.

"Tell me!" Lisa laughed as Max calmed down.

"Ok, there are these three guys lost in the woods and they're all hungry and tired. Then, they find an old house and it looked like someone lived there, so they knocked on the door and a little old lady opened the door and smiled. "Can I help you?" she asked. One guy stepped up and explained that they had been lost for five days and were super tired and hungry. "Well, I don't have anywhere you can sleep, but I do have bunches and bunches of bananas."

"Dude, I thought it was supposed to be corncobs." Lisa said.

"Ew…you've heard this?" Max asked.

"Except with corncobs." Lisa replied.

"Somebody just finish the damn joke, preferably the corncob version so I can finish this peacefully." Sesshomaru commented while waving the banana.

"Alright, but only because you said please. So, she only has tons of corncobs and the guys were all like, "Corn sounds great! Can we have some?" She shook her head no and said, "No, unless you want to show me a good time in bed, none of you can have any." The first guy backed up and said he would rather starve. The second guy agreed. The third guy stepped up and said, "I'm starving and I don't want to die." So he followed the old lady upstairs to her bedroom and she got naked and pointed to the basket of corncobs. "You can take it after we're done." She said. The guy shuddered and was wondering if he should do it after all."

"Oh…he didn't." Sesshomaru groaned.

"Trust me, you're thinking the wrong thing." Max laughed.

"So the guy took a corncob and shoved it inside her, threw it out the window, then repeated it over and over until she fell asleep. He went downstairs and grabbed some more corncobs and walked outside, where his two friends ran up to him, laughing in his face. "Ha, ha, dude! While you were up there screwing the old lady, some corncobs came flying out the window!" One laughed. "Yeah, they were even covered in butter!" the other screamed." Lisa finished and looked over at Sesshomaru, who looked utterly disgusted and queasy. He quickly stood up and walked into the kitchen, throwing the banana away and walking back to his room quietly.

"Ugh, God, I don't blame him at all, dude." Max groaned.

"Yeah, me either. Who told you it was bananas? They would break off." Lisa asked.

"James." Max retorted.

"He's retarded."

"I know." Max sighed.

Max had to leave to go baby-sit his cousins, leaving Lisa alone in the front room. She frowned when Sesshomaru hadn't come out yet. Usually he was showered, dressed and out on the couch with her, sharing some piece of advice or information. She decided not to bother him as she turned the TV on; just then, he came out of his room, still in his pajama pants, still shirtless. He walked into the kitchen and opened the medicine cabinet.

"Lisa, do you have anything to keep me from constantly throwing up?" he asked with a moan.

"Was the joke _that_ sick to you?" Lisa asked, getting up to go check her room for anything.

"No, I've been throwing up since one this morning and I don't know why." He replied, rubbing his feverish face with his right hand. Lisa saw that his hair was actually NOT perfectly combed and brushed. It was messy and out of place. Lisa opened her cabinet and went down the medication line, frowning as each one disappointed her.

"No, but my mom used to make me this drink that made me stop puking. I'm pretty sure we have all the ingredients." Lisa stated, walking back out into the kitchen.

"Well, would it be too much trouble to make for me?" he asked, leaning in his doorway. He looked outright tired and wore out and Lisa felt bad for waking him up earlier.

"I'll do it, it won't take too long." She said, pulling out a glass.

"Thanks." He groaned, quickly running to his bathroom. Lisa heated up the water while pulling out what was necessary.

A few minutes later, Sesshomaru was lying on his side in the fetal position on his bed, trying to sleep, but his phone vibrated as the caller ID revealed that it was his mother, the last person he wanted to talk to.

"Hello?" he asked weakly, trying not to move.

"You sound sick, are you ok?" she asked worriedly, but loudly.

"No, please don't talk so loud."

"Sorry, it's just that…NO, I SAID THE LIVING ROOM!" she shouted as Sesshomaru held the phone away from his ear.

"Sorry, we just moved into our new house and,"

"We?" Sesshomaru asked, feeling a dry heave coming on. There was nothing left in his stomach, so his body still felt the need to do the dry heave reflex, which all in all, still sucked.

"Me and my new boyfriend. Oh, you'd love him! He's so funny,"

"I don't care, now, why are you calling me?"

"Just to check up on you, jerk! I'm sorry that you're not," but Sesshomaru clicked her off and set his phone back on the nightstand. He groaned as he felt nauseous once more, but like an angel, Lisa walked in quickly.

"Who were you talking to?" she asked, sitting on the side of his bed. Sesshomaru sat up slowly and reluctantly, staring at her with pain.

"My mom called me and she was being obnoxious, so I hung up on her." He said.

"Oh…haha, here." Lisa replied, handing him the drink. He took it and sniffed it.

"Tea?" he asked curiously.

"With a few other ingredients."

"Such as?"

"Sorry, family secret."

"Fine." He sighed, taking a drink. He couldn't help but raise his eyebrows in approval…it tasted pretty damn good in his book.

"Like it?" Lisa asked.

"Mhm, it's wonderful." Sesshomaru said, chugging the rest of it quickly. He lost the strength to sit up and quickly landed on his pillow, instantly causing a dulling pain in his stomach to rise.

"Here's a wonderful trick that I learned, check this," she said, placing her hand right above his abdomen, pressing down slightly. The pain was weakened; it still hurt, but not too bad. Sesshomaru sighed and once again tried to think about what he ate yesterday. He went through breakfast, lunch and dinner, and the small snacks in between, but nothing unusual came up. The same stuff he had eaten for a while.

"Hello?" Lisa answered.

"What's up?" James asked. Lisa looked down at her hand that hadn't moved from Sesshomaru's bare torso.

"Uhhhhh, nothing. You?" she asked, grabbing Sesshomaru's own hand and placing it on the same spot so she didn't have to. Sesshomaru made a kissing motion at Lisa teasingly as she flipped him off.

"Same here, so, I was wondering if you and Sesshomaru wanted to hang with me today?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind but Sesshomaru is sick."

"What? That _health nut_ is sick? What did he eat? A potato chip?" James asked. Sesshomaru heard the comment and pulled the phone out of Lisa's hand.

"And to whom do we owe this wonderful call?" Sesshomaru asked grumpily.

"Psh, you sound perfectly healthy to me. Whatever, I'll just come over." James said.

"That's fine, I was about to suggest that."

"You mean you don't hate me as much as I thought you did?"

"I never hated you, I just couldn't stand you, but, I can tolerate you a little better now."

"What sick person talks so perfectly? God, I sound like I'm baked when I'm sick!"

"Years of practice, here's Lisa." Sesshomaru said, handing her the phone as she giggled.

"When are you coming?" Lisa asked.

"About an hour." James replied.

"Cool. Well, see you then."

"Yeah, bye."

"Isn't he just a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day?" Sesshomaru said irritably as Lisa laughed.

"Haha, I'm going to have to write that quote down, but yes, he's James, what do you expect?"

"I expect for him to be slightly more mature, considering he's eighteen."

"I'm eighteen and immature."

"No, you're going after what you want and making your future, he's a slacker."

"Eh, true. I'm going to go take a shower, oh, how are you feeling?" she asked quickly as she stood up. Sesshomaru was surprised that he no longer was feeling queasy, he still felt weak, but he definitely felt better.

"Better, thank you." He said, standing up to shower as well.

"Good, it never fails." She replied, closing his bedroom door behind her.

"Liiiiiiiiissssssaaaaaa! Open up, hoe!" James called out annoyingly as he knocked on the door. Lisa opened it and shoved him playfully as he laughed.

"Hahaha, I was joking, chill out!" he pleaded.

"You're lucky I'm not a crazy bitch! I would've beaten your ass!" Lisa warned with a smile as she grabbed him a Dew, as well as one for herself.

"Awww, damn." She said with disappointment.

"What?" James asked, opening his can. Lisa pulled out the empty Mountain Dew box and threw it away.

"We're out of Dew." She whined.

"I'll go get some while I'm out." Sesshomaru said, grabbing his keys.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, where do you think you're going, sickling?" Lisa asked him alarmingly. Sesshomaru blinked.

"I'm going to the store." He said simply.

"You need some sleep, go back to bed, I'll go later." Lisa ordered.

"No. I feel fine." He insisted.

"I know how to solve this…let's all go." James suggested. Sesshomaru looked at Lisa peacefully, shrugging his shoulders. Lisa nodded.

"I can live, let's go." She agreed as they all left the condo. The climbed into Sesshomaru's Escalade as James was inspecting the interior.

"This is nice…very nice." James said, petting the seat as he buckled himself in.

"You're a creeper." Lisa laughed as Sesshomaru backed out and drove out of the parking garage.

"So, what all do we need from the store again?" Sesshomaru asked as he pulled up to a stoplight.

"Uh, we need Mountain Dew, more potato chips, hm, more eggs and more pancake batter." Lisa listed off.

"How about more important things such as orange juice, milk…fruits? Meats?" Sesshomaru asked, turning onto another road.

"Oh yeah! Ice cream! And some candy!" Lisa said excitedly.

"Yeaaaaah! I love ice cream!" James cheered from the back.

"I feel like I'm babysitting children. Food, Lisa, not snacks." Sesshomaru scolded.

"When we get there, we can get serious about our food shopping, ok? Chill your nuts." Lisa said rather calmly. Usually she would get angry or serious, but now she was calm.

"Dude, so did you hear about Max and that Cory dude?" James asked as Sesshomaru parked his Escalade.

"Yeah, he told me this morning. When did he tell you?" Lisa asked.

"Before he went to hang with you, this is my first time hearing about anybody named Cory. I assume you met him?"

"Yeah, he's pretty tight. He made that Youtube video with me, Max, Inuyasha and our special guest, Sesshomaru." Lisa replied, looking at Sesshomaru with a smile. He chuckled quietly to himself.

"You guys made a video? Why didn't anyone tell me?" James asked breathlessly.

"Because Max told me he would show it to you. Oh well, I'll show you when we get back to the condo."

"You have a computer?" James asked.

"Laptop." Sesshomaru and Lisa replied simultaneously.

"Where do you get service?"

"We steal it." Lisa chirped.

"No, we don't. The condo just installed internet service in the building, so anyone who has a laptop can get on the Internet now." Sesshomaru said, grabbing a cart. Lisa and James grabbed one for themselves as well.

"Are you serious?" Sesshomaru asked.

"What? I'll pay for it all." Lisa said.

"No, I will." Sesshomaru argued.

"No! I'm paying!" Lisa hissed as she and James rode their carts to the toys and electronics. Sesshomaru growled, walking over to the foods. So much for helping him, but he did insist on going alone before they offered to come, so no complaining. He found some apples, oranges and bananas, placing them in his cart before walking away, trying to think of what else they needed.

"Steak sounds great, maybe I can get Lisa to make some tomorrow." He said to himself, placing four in the cart and moving on. He saw Lisa and James up ahead in the soda and chips section of the isles, racing around to get their stuff hurriedly. They rode their carts over to Sesshomaru, who cocked an eyebrow.

"How old are you?" he asked Lisa.

"Legal." She replied with a wink, making James laugh.

"Oh my, I think she wants some." He said teasingly to Sesshomaru who sighed with annoyance.

"Do we need bread?" Sesshomaru asked.

"I'm on it!" James shouted.

"Get wheat bread!" Sesshomaru called.

"No! Don't listen to him!" Lisa called out loudly as Sesshomaru pushed her. She pushed him back and laughed.

"I thought you said you two weren't dating." a voice came from behind. Sesshomaru watched as Lisa turned around viciously, glaring at Ashley.

"And what's it to you?" Lisa asked cruelly.

"This doesn't concern you, bitch!" Ashley snapped.

"Not as much as your face concerns me, that's for sure." James piped up from behind. Lisa would've laughed, but her good mood was cut short.

"Why are you mad at me, James? I've done nothing to you!" Ashley whined.

"You totally dissed one of my best friends, who I've known almost all my life, and you expect us to be cool? Psh, whatever." James said, running his hand through his curly brown hair.

"So, when are you going to take me out?" Ashley asked Sesshomaru, who frowned.

"Sesshomaru, you'd better pray that she's delusional." Lisa's angered growl was heard.

"She is." Sesshomaru said.

"What? No! You said you would!" Ashley yelled.

"You are out of your mind. I said nothing of the sort. Lisa, James, let's go." Sesshomaru said, walking away with his cart. Lisa and James followed, leaving an angry Ashley behind. Sesshomaru hurried and paid for everything before Lisa could protest and drove away, fearing the awkward silence.

"So…do you guys want to rent some movies? There's a storm coming in and we can't necessarily do much." Sesshomaru said.

"Alright." James said.

"Sounds cool." Lisa said, her voice and face no longer revealing her anger. The three walked in and went to their favorite sections. James took horror, Lisa took comedy, and Sesshomaru tried to find some good action/adventure movies. They met up, each holding one movie apiece.

"What movie?" Lisa asked James.

"Some stupid slasher movie. You?" he said.

"Robin Hood: Men In Tights." Lisa said.

"Hahaha, that movie is awesome!" James laughed.

"It's so dumb." Sesshomaru commented.

"Psh, you laughed!" Lisa accused him.

"I never said it wasn't funny." Sesshomaru pointed out.

"What movie?" James asked Sesshomaru.

"National Treasure: Book of Secrets."

"Ah, good choice, I'm impressed." James said, laying the movies on the counter. The clerk checked out the movies and Lisa threw him a ten before Sesshomaru could open his wallet. She laughed as she heard him curse under his breath.

When they got home, the storm was just arriving. Lisa popped in the slasher movie first, commenting on getting she shit out of the way first.

"Ugh…what the hell is this? Were they purposely trying to make an awful movie or something?" Sesshomaru commented halfway through it, making Lisa laugh with agreement.

"This sucks ass, James! You suck too!" Lisa said, hitting him with the pillow.

"Ow! Pass the popcorn!" he whined. Sesshomaru handed it to Lisa, her threw a piece at James and handed the bowl to him.

Next, since James' movie sucked, he had to get up and switch DVDs.

"We're men, we're men in tights…tight tights!" Lisa sang along with the movie.

"We maaaaay look like pansies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!" James sang, pretending to punch Lisa.

Since Lisa's movie was better than James', he had to get up again and switch movies. Lisa and James were wired, but Sesshomaru was tired. Halfway through the movie he fell asleep…on Lisa's shoulder. She looked at him and then at James, her face showing confusion.

"Well now, I'll leave you two alone, plus, I have to go. See ya!" James said as he left. Lisa stroked Sesshomaru's long, silky hair before waking him up. She fed Dee Donk and quietly went to her room to sleep.


	35. Chapter 35

Try Your Luck

"Hey, morning Lisa." Max chirped. Lisa was slouched in her chair at her desk, looking like a zombie.

"Unnhhhhh." She moaned while collapsing on her desk. Max blinked a few times before poking her in the head.

"What's wrong? Did you not sleep well?" he asked, sitting down at his own desk.

"Nooooo." Lisa replied.

"I'm sorry. Go sleep on the couch and I'll do your work."

"Ok." Lisa said as she stood up. The office door opened up forcefully.

"Sit down, Lisa!" Inutaisho ordered loudly, being followed by Katie, who Lisa hadn't seen for quite a while, and Sesshomaru.

"Ok." Lisa replied sleepily as she sat back down in her chair. She leaned back and slouched again, looking like death came to her on swift wings.

"Well, well, guess what?" Inutaisho asked.

"What?" Max asked.

"Grrrrrrr." Lisa replied, her eyes closed.

"You both get to do the fun job today! Yaaaaaay! Sesshomaru, hand them their folders and I'll explain." Inutaisho cheered. Sesshomaru gave Lisa hers, and Max opened his own and frowned.

"You've got to be shitting me! Are you serious?" Max hollered angrily. Lisa opened her folder and Sesshomaru watched with amusement as her expression went from, "I need a nap" to "What the fuck".

"Inutaisho, please, not today!" Lisa whined as she threw the folder on the floor, stomping on it with her foot.

"Nope, you both get to type, research, type more, print more, hand out more, type even more, and I want at least half of it all done by the time you leave here today. Bye!" he chirped, walking out with Katie. Sesshomaru stayed behind and stared at Lisa, who was holding her head in her hands.

"I'm going to kill him!" she growled dangerously.

"This is bullshit! What did we do? Goddamn it!" Max snapped, turning his computer on to get started.

"Lisa, I'm sorry, it's my fault you're tired. Here, I'll help you with it." Sesshomaru said, walking over to her.

"Oh, because I'm not tired I have to do all mine?" Max asked.

"You're capable, she's about to pass out, so, yes, that's basically it." Sesshomaru stated, picking Lisa up in his arms and making his way over to the couch, placing her down on it softly. He covered her up with his jacket and walked back over to her desk, turning on the computer.

"Sooooo…what did you do to her again?" Max asked as he began typing. Sesshomaru picked the folder up and sighed.

"I fell asleep on her and I refused to move." He said simply.

"You refused to come out of your comatose state." Lisa mumbled.

"Correction, I refused to wake up." Sesshomaru chirped as he also began typing. Max shook his head while sighing with annoyance. Sesshomaru looked at him, but still kept typing.

"What?" Sesshomaru asked, turning his head back to the screen with a smirk.

"That was a fantastic way to answer my question without actually telling me anything. Thanks, I appreciate that." Max growled with hurt in his voice.

"You're welcome." Sesshomaru replied.

Inutaisho sat in his office and scanned over his emails, frowning every time he came to a Spam one, or just a pointless one as of that. He looked at his watch and blinked, feeling the need to check up on Lisa and Max. He wondered whether to just call their office or walk all the way over to them…he'll call.

"Lisa, Max, how's the work coming along?" Inutaisho asked over the P.A. Max almost cussed him out, but he sighed and decided not to.

"Uh, almost halfway there." Max replied.

"Good. Lisa?" Inutaisho asked. Sesshomaru panicked and ran over to Lisa, shaking her awake.

"What?" she moaned quietly.

"Repeat this sentence loudly: I have half of it done." Sesshomaru whispered.

"Mmm…I have a calf that's well-done!" she shouted loudly. Sesshomaru moaned with disbelief as Max covered his mouth to muffle his laughter.

"Uhhhhh…oooookaaay. Just let me know when you're half way there." Inutaisho's voice said as he clicked the P.A. off.

"Damn Lisa, crank up the hearing aid next time!" Sesshomaru snapped as he sat back down, but she was already asleep, therefore no comments to what he just said.

"Hahahaha, I have a calf that's well-done! Hahahaha, oh shit, you cannot write that!" Max laughed as he continued folding papers and placing them in an envelope, sealing them and moving on to the next pile.

"I understand that she's tired, but what the hell was that?" Sesshomaru commented as he finished off his second pile.

"Hey, give her some credit, at least it rhymed." Max replied with a snort.

"True." Sesshomaru said with sigh.

A few hours later, Max and Sesshomaru decided to take a well-deserved break, leaving Lisa asleep on the couch. They went into the break room, talking and grabbing their lunches.

"So what…man, are you serious!" Max snapped as he started rummaging through the refrigerator. Sesshomaru took a bite of his sandwich and frowned, swallowing his food before talking.

"What?" he asked.

"Someone stole my goddamn cake! It was my birthday a few days ago and there was one leftover piece that I brought today and it's gone! God, that pisses me off!" Max ranted, going red in the face when Inutaisho and Katie walked into the room, just finishing off a piece of cake that they shared.

"Are you serious?" Max barked, pointing at them.

"Serious about what?" Inutaisho asked innocently.

"What's your deal?" Katie asked snobbishly.

"That was _my_ fucking cake!" he hollered loudly.

"Didn't see your name on it." Katie retorted.

"My lunch bag with my name on it was sitting right in front of it! God, grrrr, ahhhhhhhhhh! I AM GOING TO COME IN THIS PLACE WITH A GUN TOMORROW AND SHOOT UP THIS…BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!" Max screamed, knocking a chair over as he stormed out of the room. Inutaisho threw the paper plate away and saw his son, who was sitting peacefully on the couch, glaring at Inutaisho.

"What's your problem?" Inutaisho asked his son, who threw his trash away and walked to the doorway gracefully.

"Two things, one, that was Max's birthday cake, and I find it funny that you tell us not to steal and eat _your_ things, but you steal one of your employee's lunch. The other thing is sharing a piece of cake with _another _employee, who _doesn't_ own the cake, and eating it with her. Aren't you married?" Sesshomaru stated peacefully, but wickedness was hinted in his voice.

"One, it looked pretty damn good and two, at least we weren't sharing the same fork, and yes, I'm married. What's it to you?" Inutaisho replied sharply.

"Oh, I was just wondering, plus…wasn't eating a piece of cake in the office place with Inuyasha's mother the same way you cheated on _my_ mother?" Sesshomaru bit back resentfully, striding out of the room and back to Lisa and Max's office. Inutaisho stared after his son sorrowfully and sighed.

"Goddamn…he's so hot when he's coolly mad. I could just…oh, I could do a lot of things with him if I could." Katie stated, walking out of the room as well.

"I can't stand that prick, and dude, I'm sorry, but you're well on your way to being just like him in a less verbal way!" Max said angrily as he finished up his work. Sesshomaru growled at the comment.

"I am nothing like him, I promise, I won't be like him." Sesshomaru said bitterly.

"Yeah well, you look alike, you both are arrogant, rich, pompous assholes, and you both drive the same vehicle, the only difference is that you're still a virgin!" Max hissed, pounding the keyboard once with his fist when the Internet just shut off by itself.

"Not true! I am not a pompous asshole, he's tanner than I am, my Escalade is a newer year and how the hell do you know if I'm a virgin or not?" Sesshomaru hissed back.

"Oh wow, little things here and there, as far as I'm concerned, you are both Inutaisho, you just have a different name. You're like his fucking clone or something."

"I am his son, but not his clone! Have you even met my mother? I'm more like her than I am like him!"

"Oh, so she's a maniacal horny ass too?"

"No, but you hit the maniacal part right on the head."

"Whatever, you're Inutaisho's clone."

"I am NOT!"

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Oh my God, will you two ladies quit bickering? Sesshomaru, yes you are a pompous ass and Max, no, he isn't exactly like Inutaisho, and if he was, I wouldn't be living with him and he wouldn't _even_ be living!" Lisa snapped irritably. The two men looked at one another sorrowfully and back at Lisa.

"Sorry." They mumbled before returning back to their work quietly. Lisa let out a sigh of relief, and just as her head hit the pillow, the door burst open, with Inutaisho and Katie walking in.

"Hey are you two…what the hell is going on in here?" Inutaisho asked, pointing at Sesshomaru and looking at Lisa, who stared at the ceiling with disbelief.

"You hate me…don't you?" she asked Jesus as she stood up.

"Well? Explain!" Inutaisho snapped at Lisa, who instantly went from tired to pissed off.

"I'm tired as hell and you just decided to pour twenty million pounds of work on me, so your son, if he really is your son, decided to be nice and help a friend out!" Lisa barked.

"What do you mean _if_ he is my son?" Inutaisho asked.

"I don't know, maybe he's your clone or maybe Kimi cheated on you, who gives two shits and a fuck? All I know is you suck and Sesshomaru rocks! Boom!" Lisa said as Max clapped.

"Haha, that just happened!" he laughed.

"Why don't you just fire her?" Katie asked Inutaisho with a whine.

"I'm considering it." He growled.

"Here, let me help you out with that," but Lisa was cut off by Sesshomaru's hand covering her mouth.

"Lisa, I understand that you're tired, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be stupid! Shut up!" Sesshomaru ordered, letting go of her. Lisa stepped back and kept her mouth closed, surprisingly. Sesshomaru grabbed the stack of envelopes and papers, handing them to his father.

"All done." He said shortly. Max handed his stack to Katie.

"Yeah, me too." He said. Inutaisho nodded and walked out of the room with Katie following closely behind.

"Douche." Max said.

"I agree." Sesshomaru said, turning around in time to watch Lisa fall to the floor. He laughed with Max as he pulled her up, making her cuss.

"Shit, leave me alone." She moaned.

"Let's go home and then you can sleep."

"Mkay…carry me." She grumbled, collapsing in Sesshomaru's arms. He looked at Max worriedly.

"Hey, you can pick her up a lot easier than I can." Max insisted while taking a step back.

"Fine." Sesshomaru growled, picking her up and walking out. Max grabbed Sesshomaru's jacket, then closed the door and locked it before catching the elevator down.


	36. Chapter 36

Happy Birthday

"You know, I really do hate your dad." Lisa sighed as she closed her medical dictionary. It was the psychology edition, giving every psychological disorder that existed.

"Why?" Sesshomaru asked, turning a page in his own book.

"There is no such thing as IAD." She said with a forced smile. Truthfully, Sesshomaru looked so much like Inutaisho that she almost slapped him across the face just for the resemblance. Sesshomaru lowered the book from his face so he could look at Lisa.

"You lie." He said quietly.

"Nope, I read this whole thing, thinking maybe your dad got the letters mixed up or some stupid excuse like that, and there is nothing in there about IAD. There's no such thing."

"…That bastard." Sesshomaru said with disbelief.

"Mhm, so for five months, he's been telling everyone that I have some psychological disorder that doesn't even fucking exist! Do you have any clue how pissed off I am right now?" Lisa yelled, standing up with her medical dictionary still in hand. Sesshomaru almost flinched, thinking she was going to start beating him over the head with it.

"He said I had it too, didn't he?" Sesshomaru asked, making Lisa scoff at the question.

"Hell no! You're his _perfect_ son, the one who does no wrong and nothing is wrong with him, but me, oh, Sesshomaru's best friend, Lisa? Don't worry, she's just IAD! What's IAD, you ask? Well, it's just some retarded disorder that I made up with my best friend psychologists just to fuck with her! Right? No. Cruel? Hell yeah!" Lisa shouted, flinging her arms around, once again making Sesshomaru blink too many times. He seriously thought that he was going to have to dial 911 and explain to the police that his five foot seven, one-hundred and thirty pounds, girl roommate committed the crime of domestic abuse with a medical dictionary on his own, six foot two, one-hundred and seventy five pounds self. What a story for the headlines.

"Sesshomaru!" Lisa snapped, pulling her roommate out of his daydreams. He looked at her with slight worry.

"Yes?" he asked, still somehow sounding like a big, strong man. Lisa blinked, her ocean blue orbs going from hurricane furry to nice, beach waves. She sat down quietly and sighed.

"Are you ok?" she finally asked Sesshomaru, who didn't reply, but could only stare at her with curiosity.

"…Yes. Why do you ask?" he finally replied, quite cautious about what she was going to do.

"I don't know. You've just been off lately. Daydreaming, spacing out, late reactions, I mean, you're just not you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I assure you, there's nothing wrong."

"Alright." She said, turning the TV on and mindlessly flipping through the channels. Sesshomaru sighed, not even a year of living wither her yet and they've already driven each other up the wall. How much longer before they both invent an actual Instant Aggressiveness Disorder? He gave himself and Lisa eleven minutes on that one.

"Guess what I just remembered?" Lisa asked, suddenly becoming excited. Again, Sesshomaru lowered his book to look at her, this time he was starting to get annoyed.

"What?"

"You mean you don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Your own birthday is next Friday."

"Oh, yes, I remember now."

"We're celebrating it this time, Sesshomaru."

"No."

"You promised me on my birthday last year that you would celebrate yours."

"I lied."

"Oh please, come on! How old are you going to be? Thirty? Forty?"

"Nineteen."

"Close enough. Please?"

"Why are you so interested in partying on my birthday? Yours is in a month, party on yours."

"Because one month is too long. Come on, it'll be fun. Please?" Lisa pleaded; breaking out the best puppy dog face she could muster, which happened to be her best one yet because it worked. Sesshomaru stared at her and then exhaled loudly.

"Fine…but no drugs or alcohol."

"Of course, I'm not into either."

"Or hookers."

"Damn."

"Or strippers."

"Shit."

"Especially no _male_ strippers."

"Fine, fine, fine! But there will be a game of Truth or Dare, uncensored!"

"No sex…in my room at least."

"Psh, who said I'm throwing you a party here?"

"Because, I know that you know that the desk clerk said that if you pay ahead of time, you can get the party room for one whole day."

"Damn, you're pretty good at predicting me."

"You become quite obvious after a while. I heard you make the phone call earlier, so the conversation we just had was pointless. Whether I wanted a party or not, I was getting one."

"Haha, what can I say? You're stubborn."

"As are you, my friend."

"You and me in thirty years, we're writing a book about this."

"This party?"

"No, however long we end up living together, we're going to write a book about it."

"You know, I was watching Dr. Phil earlier," Sesshomaru began.

"Ugh, Dr. Full of Shit? Why?"

"He was talking about the best way to get married and do you know what the number one most effective way to know if the person you're dating is the one?"

"Let me guess…you live with them for a while."

"Correct. So if you and I were to ever get married, we're prepared to live with one another for the rest of our lives."

"Haha, yeah, if we get married." Lisa said back as she started flipping through the channels again. Sesshomaru let that comment drift around in his head, wondering whom he would end up with for the rest of his life, if he ever did end up with anyone.

The next morning, Sesshomaru was heading out the door to go to work, exhaling with relief that he didn't have any classes to worry about. Three whole months without studying actually relieved him of some stress.

"Hey, Sesshomaru, hold on!" Lisa's voice called to him as he held the elevator for him.

"Yes?" he asked, frowning when she handed him a small gift, wrapped in white wrapping paper with a red bow.

"Uh, you still have six days to do this." Sesshomaru said as they both hit the main floor button.

"It's a game that I'm going to play with you. Each day you get a present, leading up to the best one, which you get on your actual day of birth. Each gift is a small clue to what that present is." Lisa explained as Sesshomaru looked at her, then back at the small box in his hand, then back at her once more.

"How boring is your day?" he asked with a smile as he started unwrapping it.

"Eh, pretty boring." She commented quickly. Sesshomaru nodded in agreement as he opened the box, feeling his face instantly show utter confusion, which gave Lisa a good laughing fit as they walked out of the elevator, squeezing past a group of people.

"No, really, how bored are you?" Sesshomaru asked, staring at the picture in his hand. It was of him and Lisa…almost ten years ago. They were both about eight or nine, hugging each other while smiling into the camera with crazed looks. If he hadn't known any better, he would've guessed that they were crack heads, or ADD at the very least. He even saw that they were both holding a Pokemon while hugging, damn, whoever created Pikachu, was definitely on his hit list.

"Oh wow, when was this?" Sesshomaru asked with a chuckle as he turned the picture over.

_Pikachu Buddies forever! _

"Hahaha, I was going through my boxes of pictures and I found that one, and it gave me a good ten minute laugh. Remember when it was taken? Back at the stupid Christmas party that involved both of our families?" Lisa asked, watching Sesshomaru's face light up.

"Yes, how could I forget? You kissed me on the cheek and I started pretending that I was dying, and you cried…a lot."

"You were a jerk then and a jerk now."

"Right, so what clue does this hold?"

"You're the genius, figure it out, but I've got to go pick up Max, we're going to go out for a while. Have a good day…Pikachu Buddy."

"Ugh, shut up!" Sesshomaru growled as she laughed at him, climbing into her H3 and driving off. Sesshomaru drove to work and walked into his office, sitting down. Then, reality just slammed into him like a truck going 80mph.

"It's six in the morning, what the hell is she even doing up?" Sesshomaru asked himself as he pulled out his cell phone to ask her himself. The phone rang a few times before she answered.

"What?" she asked, sounding like she had just been laughing hysterically.

"It's six in the morning! You shouldn't even be awake, let alone out doing things with Max!" Sesshomaru accused as he slid the picture of him and Lisa into an empty frame, setting it on his desk.

"Ew no, that one looks ugly!" he heard Max comment in the background.

"Take a wild guess." Lisa finally said.

"You're either shopping for me or for the party for me."

"Good job. Well, I have to go, call you later…ew, what the fuck is that? Put it away, there are children here!" she said, hanging up on him. He pocketed his phone, staring at the picture, wondering what clue it held.

"Son, it's your birthday Friday, what are you doing?" Inutaisho asked, walking in and sitting down in a chair.

"Just hanging out with some friends." Sesshomaru replied, wondering what was in store for him.


	37. Chapter 37

And You Call Us Lame?

"What about this one?" Max asked as he walked out of the fitting room, twirling around and ending with his hands on his hips. Lisa looked up from a magazine and instantly frowned.

"Ew." She said with disgust. Max looked down and nodded.

"I agree, I just wanted to see what you thought." He replied, walking back into the fitting room. Lisa sighed as her phone vibrated violently.

'Alright, next clue. Are you getting me something I want?' Sesshomaru's message read.

'Well, yeah, that's kind of the idea.' She replied.

'Lisa tell me.'

'Tell you what?'

'What it is you're getting me.'

'No.'

'Now.'

'Never.'

"Ahhh! This is horrible! Why'd we pick this one out?" Max's enraged voice came from the room.

"Which one?" Lisa asked.

"The polka dots!"

"Dude, why'd you take me seriously? I was joking about him wearing polka dots, you retard! Hahahaha!" Lisa remarked, laughing harder when Max cursed at her.

"Ugh, damn." Sesshomaru mumbled as he sat with boredom at his desk. He had finished all of his paperwork, and nothing important was being relayed back to him, so he didn't have anything to keep himself busy with…except pestering Lisa about what she was getting him for his birthday. Two days were left and she had given him a small gift each day. First, a picture of the two of them when they were young kids, second, a stuffed monkey, third, a box of condoms just to piss him off, and fourth she fixed him his favorite dinner, a chicken salad with lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, croutons, and of course, chicken.

"Some gifts. They have no clues or relevance, and the stuffed monkey? Is she serious? What is she doing?" Sesshomaru whined to himself as he continuously bounced a tennis ball off the floor, catching it and repeating the movement. He was leaning back in his chair with his feet propped up on his desk. Usually he would do no such thing, but he was bored and no one was around. He felt his phone vibrate and he took it out, opening his phone.

"Disgusting." He murmured. Lisa had just sent him a picture of Max, who was wearing nothing but a leopard print thong. He was flexing and had that stupid Max Smile on his face, winking into the camera.

'Bet you want this sexy piece of ass.' Lisa texted. Sesshomaru called her, intent on yelling at someone.

"Hello?" Lisa's voice rang.

"Stop sending me disgusting pictures of him! I'm straight!" Sesshomaru hollered.

"Oh…ok. My badness." Lisa replied, clicking the phone off on him.

"What'd he say?" Max asked from inside the room.

"He said he'd hit that," Lisa began.

"Sweet!"

"With his car." Lisa added on with a laugh.

"Damn, I still have three more hours of this!" Sesshomaru sighed as his leg shook involuntarily. He hated having nothing to do. He began tossing the tennis ball in the air and catching it, seeing how many times before he dropped it. He got to fifty before his phone vibrated again. He opened his phone and immediately felt his eyebrows rise and a tug between his legs. Instead of Max almost naked, it was Lisa in a bikini. She started going to the gym three months ago, making her flat stomach show some abs. Sesshomaru called her phone once more.

"What?" Lisa yawned, apparently tired.

"Quit sending me pictures!" Sesshomaru hissed.

"I bet he saved that one!" he heard Max's voice in the background as Lisa laughed.

"Chill, I'm bored and I'm damn sure that you're bored. Just enjoy the show." Lisa retorted.

"He _definitely_ enjoyed the last one!" Max's comment came again.

"Tell him to shut his mouth or I'll do it for him." Sesshomaru said to Lisa, who repeated his command loudly. He heard Max's voice and couldn't make out what he said, but Lisa was on the case.

"Max said does you making him shut up involve the unzipping of your pants?" Lisa asked with a giggle.

"Go to Hell." Sesshomaru snarled, flipping his phone shut. He let out a moan of annoyance as he turned his computer on to see if there was anything to do on the Internet.

Later that night, Lisa walked in the door, closing it quietly and frowning. Sesshomaru wasn't in the front room.

"Maybe he's tired." She said to herself, placing her keys on the counter and kicking off her shoes. She cut up an apple and gave some slices to Dee Donk, who as always, squeaked with happiness. Lisa closed his cage and turned around, eyes scanning the condo. Something didn't settle right with her. She walked back to Sesshomaru's room and knocked on the door. No answer.

"Is he gone?" she whispered, opening his door and seeing that it looked like he hadn't been in there all day. Lisa walked back out into the living room and jumped so high that she almost latched to the ceiling when the sliding glass door quickly shot open.

"Ahhhh! Shit! Sesshomaru!" Lisa screamed, placing her hand on her chest when she saw him walk inside. He looked at her innocently and then smirked.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there. I thought you went to your room." He said, closing the door.

"What were you doing out there?"

"It's a very nice night out and I was on the phone with my mom and you know how noisy that can get."

"So you go outside to bother the neighbors? You're so sweet." Lisa said, sitting down on the couch. Sesshomaru planted himself next to her and yawned.

"Did I really scare you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I almost pissed myself."

"Oops."

"Whatever, you don't feel bad about it."

"So, what's my next gift?"

"You'll see tomorrow."

Sesshomaru lay on his back, staring at his dark ceiling, almost glaring. He really hoped that whatever Lisa and Max were planning that it wasn't too crazy. He could take some insane moments, but he didn't want to be kicked out of his home for anything. Sesshomaru looked at his clock and sighed. It was three in the morning.

"Good thing I have the next few days off." He whispered as he turned on his side, soon falling asleep.

The next day, when Sesshomaru woke up, Lisa greeted him with coffee and pancakes.

"Morning!" she sang when she brought the food into his room.

"Good morning, oh, thank you. Is this my gift?" Sesshomaru asked, scooting over to let Lisa sit next to him.

"Nope, eat first, gift later." Lisa insisted. Sesshomaru felt his eye twitch, but nonetheless, he ate the pancakes so fast, even Lisa's pancake eating standards, which are legendary, couldn't compete. He chugged the cup of coffee and smiled.

"Gift?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll bring it to you." Lisa chirped, grabbing his dishes and walking out of the room. A few minutes later, Lisa came back with a box about as big as a 12-Inch TV screen. She sat it on Sesshomaru's lap and smiled.

"Awww, aren't you adorable?" Sesshomaru asked sarcastically as he tore off the wrapping paper. Today was Thursday, tomorrow was his birthday, and what could she possibly be planning?

"Before you open the box, you have to promise me that you'll wear this to your party tomorrow." Lisa said to Sesshomaru.

"It isn't Max's leopard print thong, is it?" Sesshomaru asked suspiciously.

"No. I swear, but promise me you'll wear it."

"Fine…I promise."

"Ok, open it!"

"Oh…Lisa, did you really?" Sesshomaru asked, pulling out the black, silk suit that he went to go buy, but someone else had bought it before him.

"Haha, I was hoping it was the one you were talking about."

"All I have to say is good call, it is. How did you keep it from wrinkling?"

"I've got the magic touch." Lisa replied as he pulled out the pants that went with the jacket. Sesshomaru placed them on the bed beside him and pulled Lisa into a vicious bear hug.

"I can't breathe!" Lisa cried from his chest.

"I know, me either!" Sesshomaru replied teasingly. He let Lisa strike him a few times before letting go of her, laughing at her red face.

"Embarrassed?" he asked.

"More like deprived of oxygen!" she yelled back while rubbing her forehead.

Lisa took a shower and by the time she was done dressing and brushing her teeth, Max had come knocking at the door, ready to finish up buying and preparing for Sesshomaru's party.

"Alright Sesshomaru, I know you want to know what it's going to look like, but please, don't ruin it for us." Lisa begged. Sesshomaru grabbed his keys and smiled.

"Which is why I decided to baby sit Rin all day today and into tomorrow afternoon. You do remember where my aunt lives, yes?" Sesshomaru asked, riding down the elevator with Max and Lisa.

"Uh huh, so I'll find you there?"

"Yes. Have fun and please don't make it anything too crazy."

"We won't." Max said, walking away with Lisa.

Sesshomaru drove off to his aunt's house and pulled into the driveway, where she and her husband waved as he got out of his Escalade.

"Thanks for babysitting again, sweetie! She's watching TV right now, so, you know what to do. We'll be back tomorrow. Bye, bye!" she called out to Sesshomaru as he waved back. He closed the door and walked into the living room.

"Yaaaaay! Sesshomaru's here!" Rin cheered, running to Sesshomaru, who bent down and whisked her into the air with a smile.

"And how is my favorite little cousin?" he asked, sitting down on the couch with her in his arms.

"Good! I missed you!" Rin hugged him warmly, which made him smile again. She was the only person who could make him smile that much. No, Lisa making him smile sadistically, forcefully or with disbelief did not count.

"I missed you too. So, what're you watching?" Sesshomaru asked, putting her down.

"Hannah Montana!" Rin cheered. Sesshomaru felt his face twist.

"I hate Hannah Montana." Sesshomaru whispered to himself, forcing a smile on his face when Rin turned to look at him. This was going to be a long day indeed.


	38. Chapter 38

Happy Birthday, Creep

Sesshomaru sat on the couch, his head resting on his hand as he tried not to look like he was dying from boredom and holding back his infuriation with Hannah Montana. Rin had recorded every damn episode under the sun and was hell-bent on watching them all with him.

"Isn't he funny?" Rin asked Sesshomaru, who tried his hardest to look lively, but he gave up.

"Hilarious." Sesshomaru bit out with slight irritation filling his voice. The show was so fucking cheesy, how could anyone, regardless of age, find it funny or entertaining? The "audience" laughed at everything said, even if it wasn't even remotely amusing. The only thing going through Sesshomaru's mind at this point was, "Take head, place directly through wall."

"Do you want to watch TV?" Rin asked, holding out the remote. Sesshomaru didn't even remember what she said, he just noticed the opportunity of snatching the remote and turning off the garbage show before he went insane. He turned off the DVR and hurriedly flipped through the guide, hoping some violent show was on, but then he remembered Rin was only eight, so violence was not allowed, maybe some comedy, with puns that would fly right over her head. Yes, sounded fair.

"Hello?" Sesshomaru answered his phone, knowing it was Lisa.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's up?" she asked happily. Sesshomaru almost loathed her for being so happy.

"Nothing, just trying to find a good show." He replied, wincing as Rin begged him to turn it to some lame cartoon. He saw that Tom and Jerry was on another channel and smirked. Best show ever, violent, but not too violent and funny as hell.

"No, I wanted Skunk Fu!" Rin whined.

"I want Tom and Jerry! I watched Hannah fucking Montana for three hours, it's my turn to watch a show!" Sesshomaru snapped loudly. He soon regretted it as Rin's eyes filled with defiant tears.

"Who the hell are you talking to?" Lisa asked, already knowing the answer.

"Rin…I…please, don't," Sesshomaru began, but the little girl jumped off the couch and ran upstairs.

"You're mean!" she screamed, running to her room and slamming the door shut.

"God…damn it." Sesshomaru growled, slapping his forehead with his hand.

"Need me to call you later?" Lisa asked.

"No, I need someone to talk to me." He replied tiredly.

"Uh…so, Max and I have everything set up for tomorrow, just one problem," Lisa said.

"Which would be?" he groaned.

"Well, it's your party, who do you want to come? Just tell me and I'll call them for you, you know, since it's supposed to be a surprise."

"I don't care, as long as it's people I don't hate."

"Would family be involved in that list?"

"Depends…what kind of family?"

"Just some people, like Inuyasha,"

"No."

"Why not? We can pick on him all night, and it's not like he can beat us or anything lame like that. It'll be fun."

"Ugh, fine, but I don't want my parents there."

"Hell no, I'll kill your dad."

"Who else?"

"Naraku, Kagura, uh, let's see, Cory, even though he isn't your family, but he's associated with it."

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on one minute, did the name Naraku just come out of your mouth?"

"Yeah, dude it's all cool between him and me. He's got a really nice girlfriend, I've met her, she's really chill and they like each other a lot, so no drama."

"Did you forget the fact that I can't stand that bastard?"

"No, but he can't stand Inuyasha more than he can't stand you, those two will fight all evening, it'll be fun to watch, and ignore since all the big kids will be doing something else."

"What exactly is going on at the party, Lisa?"

"It's a surprise, now, I have to help Max change since he's an idiot, and I believe you have to go apologize to Rin for being a cock, have fun."

"Bye." Sesshomaru said, placing his phone in his pocket. He leaned back on the couch and decided not to bother Rin at the moment; he wanted to give her more time to get over being angry with him. Sesshomaru soon fell asleep from boredom. He lay on his back on the couch, his right arm draped over his stomach and left arm hanging off the couch, along with his left leg. His phone going off soon woke him up and he answered it.

"What?" he answered groggily.

"Apologized yet?" Lisa asked, taking a drink.

"No, fell asleep."

"Awww, aren't you cute?" Lisa chirped with a giggle.

"Man, get your eyes checked! I look like a hobo!" Max's voice shouted.

"Hahaha!" Lisa laughed.

"Lisa, I'm going to go apologize, I'll call you later."

"Fo' sho' hoe!" Lisa said, clicking him off. Sesshomaru once again pocketed his phone, standing up and reluctantly walking upstairs. He quietly strode down the hallway and up to Rin's door, knocking lightly on it.

"Rin?" he called out softly.

"Go away!" Rin's angry voice replied. Sesshomaru jiggled the handle, but her door was locked.

"Who the hell puts a lock on their child's door?" Sesshomaru whispered fiercely.

"Rin, open the door." Sesshomaru ordered as kindly as he could.

"No! Go away! I never want to talk to you again!" Rin shouted.

"Rin, I'm sorry for yelling at you. Come downstairs and we can watch whatever you want."

"I hate you! Go away!" she hollered. Sesshomaru felt a jolt in his heart. Never, for as long as she could talk, had she ever gotten angry with him, or said, "I hate you." Sesshomaru sighed as he walked downstairs, calling Lisa as he paced the floor.

"Huh?" Lisa asked, this time munching on some food.

"Lisa, she said she hated me and never wanted to talk to me again." Sesshomaru said quickly.

"Wow, she's never said that to you."

"I know. I have no clue what to do about it either. She won't unlock the door and I have to feed her somehow."

"Lure her out with pizza. Kids love pizza." Max's voice rang.

"Am I on speaker?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Yeah, and we're in a restaurant, so keep the tears to a minimum, ok?" Lisa replied, her fork clanging on her plate as she finished her steak. Next, she went for the French fries.

"Lisa, damn it, take me off speaker, this is important!" Sesshomaru snapped.

"You see, it's that kind of attitude that got you in this situation to begin with. Calm down and listen to me, now, kids hold grudges and they'll use it against you for the longest time, so you have to take this by force." Lisa explained.

"Use pizza!" Max shouted.

"Fuck pizza, fuck you and fuck your couch! You don't know anything, so let me handle this! Now, Sesshomaru, you said her door is locked?" Lisa said.

"Yes."

"Find two paperclips."

"And do what?"

"Pick the lock, retard. I said you have to show kids that you mean business. You're not going to take this shit, even if she hates you forever. You're the boss."

"Fine, what should I do after I pick the lock? Punish her?"

"Tell her that Hannah Montana is lame and that Tom and Jerry will tag team her and beat the shit out of her, and that if she wants to see Hannah without a black eye and not missing a few teeth, to listen to you before you sick our favorite cat and mouse on her ass."

"That seems harsh. She's only eight."

"And you need to nip this in the butt now, so when it happens again, she'll remember what you did last time, and cut this little epic short."

"Ugh, you're no help." Sesshomaru growled, clicking her off.

"Then don't fucking call me, douche." Lisa growled, closing her phone and finishing her fries.

Sesshomaru sighed as he picked up the house phone. Lisa gave a few good pointers and Max only had one. Kids loved pizza. So, he ordered some pepperoni and cheese pizza while discovering a few paperclips as he rummaged through the desk in the kitchen. When the pizza came, he tipped the delivery boy and placed a few pieces on a plate and walked upstairs.

"Why does this happen?" Sesshomaru whispered, setting the plate on a stand in the hallway. He bent down on his knees and twisted the paperclips before quietly picking at the knob. It took him a few minutes, whereas it would've only taken Lisa a few seconds, but either way, it clicked unlocked. Sesshomaru pocketed the clips and grabbed the plate, quickly opening the door. Rin was asleep on her bed, her small body curled under the blanket. Sesshomaru sat on the edge of her bed and gently shook her awake.

"Mmmm," Rin whined, not wanting to wake.

"Rin, wake up, I brought you some food."

"What is it?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Pizza."

"I love pizza. Thank you." She said, accepting the plate. Sesshomaru felt weird. Had she forgotten that she "hated" him? Rin finished up her two pieces and looked down.

"Is there more?" she asked.

"Still hungry?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Mhm." She nodded.

"I'll get you more." He said, standing up. He made it to the door before he felt arms wrap around his leg.

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru! I don't hate you!" Rin cried. Sesshomaru felt the heavy weight lift off him suddenly. He smiled as he pat her head.

"I'm sorry, too, Rin. Let's go get more pizza. I'm hungry."

"Ok." She said, wiping her face with her arm.

Later that night, after putting Rin to bed, Sesshomaru got into his pajamas before walking into the guest bedroom. He collapsed on the bed and nuzzled his face in the soft pillow. He soon fell asleep, not knowing what would happen tomorrow.

"Hey, Birthday Boy, wake up." A voice whispered in his ear as he felt the bed shift as someone climbed on it. Sesshomaru didn't stir. He wasn't ready to party. He felt a soft hand brush his hair to the side as they leaned completely over his body.

"Sesshomaru, come on, I know you've been dreading this, but get it over with." Lisa whispered.

"Mmm…why must you bother me now? What time is it?"

"It's time for you to wake up."

"I prefer the number translation of that."

"It's now…almost eleven in the morning."

"When does the party start…numbers would also be much obliged with this answer."

"Eh, seven, eight, whenever people start to show up. Everything is ready, we just need you."

"Why must I get up?"

"To get ready, plus, I have one more present to give you. I don't want anyone but you to see it."

"Couldn't you have brought it?"

"No, please, get up." Lisa pleaded. Sesshomaru opened his eyes and turned his head to face her. He checked out to see if she was wearing a clown outfit or something, but no, her usual black T-shirt and jeans.

"Persuade me." Sesshomaru said with a small smile. Lisa sighed as she tried to think of something, but nothing came to mind.

"Fine, be a douche." She finally said, getting ready to jump off the bed, but Sesshomaru caught her and pulled her down next to him.

"Calling me a douche won't get you anywhere." He scolded playfully.

"So? Makes me feel better." She replied.

"I only wish to sleep, why do you push your luck?"

"Beeeeecause, I want you out of bed so I can get you home."

"And do what, might I ask?"

"Uh, I don't know, have hot, animal sex with you? Get up! I don't have to explain anything!" Lisa snapped as she tried to pull away from him, but Sesshomaru had an iron grip on her, keeping her down on the bed next to him.

"If you do not explain, I will not get up and neither will you." Sesshomaru said sternly. He meant business, but, unfortunately, so did Lisa. She merely crossed her arms and placed on leg over the other, staring intensely at the ceiling.

"I suppose we'll be here a while." Lisa said with a yawn. The bed was comfortable, minus her roommate holding her down. Sesshomaru nodded with agreement. He placed his head down on her shoulder and wrapped his arm around her waist, feeling her tense up with uncertainty.

"Relax, I'm going to sleep, but I'm still not letting you go."

"Whatever, it's your birthday and you can cry if you want to." She retorted sharply. Sesshomaru refrained from busting out laughing. She always got so cross whenever he touched her intimately. She did it with everyone, of course, but it was even more intense with him, since they dated once upon a time. He made sure to hold her tightly, like a husband would with his wife.

"Please let go of me, before something bad happens." Lisa growled. Sesshomaru smirked as he raised his head.

"Something bad? I don't think what could happen right here, right now, before everyone wakes up, is a bad thing. I would think of it as luck." He whispered in her ear. She tried to jerk her arms free, but he had her right arm trapped between their bodies and gripped her left arm with his right arm.

"Get…off…me." She bit out slowly, not making eye contact. She kept her glare at the ceiling, hoping it would fall on them, more or less, Sesshomaru.

"It's my birthday, you should give me something worthwhile. Nothing serious, just…sensible." He teased, taking it one step too far. He saw a smile crack across her face, which was a bad sign. It meant she was pissed beyond reasoning.

"Sensible? Here, how about this?" she asked, giving him a quick jab in the crotch with her right arm that she secretly snaked down his body while he teased her. Sesshomaru let out a yelp of pain, instantly letting go of her as she walked out of the room, slamming the door closed. Lisa stormed downstairs where Max waited patiently on the couch, talking on his cell.

"Yeah, oh, hold on…is he up?" Max asked Lisa quickly.

"The filthy, rotten bastard can burn in Hell for all I fucking care!" Lisa roared, slamming the front door closed behind her. She turned on her H3 and sat in the driver's seat with cool air blowing on her, waiting impatiently for Max.

"Uh huh, yeah, she's pissed and I'm sure Sessho-moron had something to do with it. I'll find out and calm her down, I promise. Alright, bye." Max said, flipping his phone closed. He walked upstairs and knocked on Sesshomaru's door.

"What?" he snapped impatiently. Max rolled his eyes.

"I'm coming in whether you're dressed or not, asshole!" Max shouted, opening the door and closing it behind him. Sesshomaru was brushing off his shirt, quickly looking over at Max.

"Sorry, I thought you were her." He said irritably. Max leaned against the door with his back, crossing his arms.

"What'd you do?" Max asked him with a small whine.

"Why is it I all of a sudden?" Sesshomaru suddenly snapped, making Max cock an eyebrow.

"Why are you getting defensive? I know you did something, so, what did you do?"

"Nothing."

"Uh, yeah, and my name is Seymour Pussy. What'd you do? Bring up something from her past?"

"No."

"Tease her about something dumb?"

"Not exactly."

"Did you…I cannot believe that I'm about to even suggest this, but…did you make a move on her?" Max asked, seeing Sesshomaru's flinch in the mirror.

"I…I was only playing around, I didn't mean to upset her."

"Ungh…oh God…she's going to be pissed forever." Max groaned, placing his fingers on his temples, letting out a slow exhale. Sesshomaru turned to him quickly.

"I don't know what came over me, I know she doesn't like it, but, I just did it, ok? She can't be mad forever."

"Lisa does what she wants. Now, I'm going to ask you something, it's man to man, so it will never reach Lisa's ears, but promise to answer me truthfully?" Max asked, blocking the doorway again. Sesshomaru crossed his arms and sighed.

"Promise." He said, looking away.

"Do you have any of _those _feelings for her? Any?" Max asked seriously. Sesshomaru felt his hands stuff themselves in his pockets. He also felt his face getting hot, which meant the answer was obvious.

"Yes, I do." Sesshomaru spat out, angry with himself for not hiding it better. Max nodded.

"I'm not inferring anything, ok? If I were straight, I'd want to bang her too. Now, let's go before she sets this place on fire."

"I'm driving myself, so, have fun." Sesshomaru retorted, jingling his keys as he headed for the stairway. There Lisa stood, leaning against the wall. Sesshomaru felt like someone just kicked him in the stomach. He saw Max's surprised face as well. Had she heard anything?

"So, are we leaving or what?" she asked the two men, who nodded. Sesshomaru felt relief wash over him. She didn't hear anything.

Sesshomaru and Lisa walked in their condo. Lisa headed for the kitchen to feed Dee Donk, who squeaked impatiently as he heard the bags rattle. Sesshomaru stopped at the hallway entrance, looking back at Lisa.

"I'm going to shower and I'll get ready for the party." He said.

"Actually, I was wanting to go out to lunch with you." She said.

"Is Max coming?"

"No, just you and me. Do you want him to come?"

"No, I was just wondering if he was. I'll be quick."

"Eh, take your time. No hurry." She replied, sitting on the couch and grabbing the remote. Sesshomaru disregarded that. Like Hell was he to risk pissing her off more. He had to live with her, damn it.

After a quick shower, he got out and dried off. He got into the nice, expensive silk suit that he promised he would wear. It looked nice, fit comfortably and he looked damn good in it.

"I'd do me." Sesshomaru said with a smirk, gently smoothing out a wrinkle on his sleeve. He opened his door and jumped back as Lisa stood there with a box. She smiled sheepishly.

"My bad, I was just getting ready to knock." She said with a laugh. Sesshomaru sat down on the edge of his bed as she sat next to him, handing the box to him.

"Let me guess…more condoms?" he asked.

"Uh, no, that'd be pretty damn big just for a box of rubbers." She retorted.

"You have an imagination and you use it, so I'm only checking."

"Hahaha!" Lisa giggled, shrugging.

"Is it something I want?" he asked.

"I don't even think you know it exists." She replied candidly.

"So, you got me something useless?"

"I think it's awesome. Do with it what you want."

"I will." Sesshomaru retorted, ripping off the wrapping paper. He turned the box over and stared…then he began chuckling. Lisa smiled, as his laughter grew louder and warmer. He put his arm over her shoulders, still laughing as he pulled her to him.

"Haha…you got me a bow and arrow that can shoot marshmallows?" he asked, wiping away a tear.

"I had no clue what to get you, so whatever I saw, I was like, get it." She replied.

"Really? Hahahahaha!" Sesshomaru couldn't help but to laugh. He got his ass out of bed and almost got killed just to receive a bow and arrow to shoot marshmallows with? Ah, Hell.

"I'm glad I could at least make you laugh. I bought myself the Bazooka that shoots marshmallows."

"Hahahahahaha!" Sesshomaru couldn't stop from laughing. She was so weird, childish and yet, it wasn't cheesy. It was Lisa, what else?

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Haha, yes, let's go eat."

"Let's get some marshmallows."

"God, you're ridiculous."

AN- Sorry, the party is not turning out as I wanted it and it's pissing me off that I'm not making my readers happy. Sorry guys, I'm trying to make it good.


	39. Chapter 39

Is This The End Of Us?

Max sighed as he, Cory and James finished up some last minute decorations. It was past 6:30 and the party started at 7 or 8, somewhere in between there. Max sat on the couch in the party room of the condo building, frowning in thought.

"Hey, are you ok?" James asked Max worriedly. His usually talkative, energetic friend had been silent and sighing for the past hour.

"I'm fine, it's Lisa I'm worried about." Max replied sadly as James and Cory joined him.

"What do you mean?" Cory asked, rubbing Max's leg gently. James looked away; even to this day it was hard to watch Max and some guy touch. He didn't mind it, but he didn't want to watch either.

"It's…ah, I can't tell you." Max groaned.

"Dude, I've known her almost as long as you, I deserve every right to know what's going on with my best friend." James scolded Max.

"Ugh, fine, but don't say anything to her, ok?" Max said.

"Got it." James said.

"I promise." Cory chirped.

"Well, the gift that she gave Sesshomaru earlier was,"

"Pretty bad ass." James interrupted.

"No, well, yeah, but it wasn't his REAL gift, or so to say."

"Dude, just spit it out." James snapped.

"She wants to ask him back out, but he keeps being a douche and it's hard for her to ask when the guy is being a jerk."

"How is he being a douche?" Cory asked, always remembering Sesshomaru as quiet.

"Ugh, oh my God, have you spent any time with him? He has 'Arrogant Asshole' written all over his face." James retorted.

"Well, he just doesn't treat her right, and she admits that she treats him wrong too, but she tries so hard to make him happy, so he won't be a dick, so she can ask him out, but it's impossible in her mind." Max continued.

"Ah, I see. Does she plan on asking him tonight or wait?" James asked curiously.

"Tonight, but he's already pissed her off this morning."

"Damn, the guy never quits." James whined.

"He seems nice to me." Cory said.

"Only because he doesn't want to catch your gay germs or have some fag curse placed upon him." James said with a snicker, getting two glares.

"What? It's true." James defended.

"Anyway, I think that we should try to make it possible for her to ask him, so, from here on out, we are the Drama Patrol. Any drama that happens, no matter who it is and why, take them outside and tell them to either leave or leave." Max ordered.

"Everybody will be gone by eleven after eight." James growled.

"Unless you can calm them down, tell them to leave." Max suggested.

"Got it." Cory and James chirped.

A few hours later, people showed up left and right, asking where the birthday boy was, and Max had to tell everyone that it was a surprise party and that they had to hide…now. Everyone hid behind the couches, the bar, chairs, anything as Max turned the lights off.

"Hm, I wonder where you're taking me?" Sesshomaru asked Lisa suspiciously as they approached the party lounge.

"Haha, what are you talking about?" Lisa asked sarcastically, grabbing his arm before they turned the corner.

"What're you doing?" Sesshomaru asked as Lisa refused to let go.

"I, uh, have a question to ask you, and you don't have to answer now but…is there any chance that maybe you, uh, want to, I don't know, date me…again?" Lisa asked, looking away with embarrassment. Sesshomaru stood still, completely shell-shocked at the question. Did he want to? Yes, he wanted to give it one last try, to see if their attention spans improved any over the past two years, but he was still unsure. He and Lisa had gotten into so many arguments, serious and pointless, and that scared him more than anything. He placed his hands on her shoulders and smiled.

"Lisa, I do, but I'm not sure that either of us is ready. We get into so many fights, but, I wouldn't mind giving it a try, so, my answer is yes." Sesshomaru said, deciding on making up with her and who knows? Maybe the arguments will stop, or slow down at least. Lisa hugged him tightly, obviously happy.

"Now, let's go party! Oh, shit, blindfold!" Lisa said, handing it to him. Sesshomaru put it on and grabbed her arm. He heard the door open as she led him in. Somebody sneezed.

"Well that was…attractive of me." Lisa said, falsely trying to cover it up.

"Bless you." Sesshomaru chirped, trying not to laugh. It was definitely a man that sneezed, plus, someone else whispered, "Bless you" as well.

"You people ruin everything!" Lisa shouted as the lights went on.

"Surpr…Happy Birthday!" Max screamed, knowing it wasn't much of a surprise. Sesshomaru took his blindfold off and smirked as everyone screamed "Happy Birthday" to him.

"You guys are not good at this, really." Sesshomaru commented loudly as the music was turned on and everyone began to hang around and talk. Lisa walked over to Max with two Mountain Dews.

"So, when do you," Max began.

"He said yes!" Lisa said happily.

"Y…you already asked him?" Max asked.

"Uh huh, he said yes, and I'm actually happy." Lisa commented, taking a sip.

"That's good! Very good! So, uh, are you going to give him a gift that keeps on giving, you know, tonight?" Max asked. Lisa frowned.

"Nah, that'd be weird." Lisa said.

"Ok, if there were no consequences to be suffered from doing him tonight, just pretend there is nothing to be gained, but a good time and nothing to be lost, except your virginity, would you do him?" Max asked smugly as he crossed his arms. Lisa thought about it and teetered on an answer.

"Well, yeah, I guess so, but I still want my purity, so, yeah, I would but I'm not going to." She replied.

"Alright, sounds valid enough to me." Max said, looking over at Cory, who was waving at him from the bathroom.

"Haha, that's definitely not noticeable." Lisa giggled.

"I'm going to go have a good time, be right back…well, give or take a few minutes." Max replied, running off and closing the door. Lisa even heard the click of the lock.

"Ahhhhhahaha, ewwww, did he just do that?" Inuyasha asked as he popped up behind Lisa.

"Do what?" Lisa asked, pretending not to know as she walked away. She grabbed another can of Dew, turning around and being met with Naraku with his girlfriend, Kiera, holding his arm. She had shoulder length dark brown hair and light brown eyes to match.

"Hey Lisa!" she chirped.

"Hey!" Lisa said back.

"So, is there something going on between you and Sesshomaru?" Naraku asked smoothly, smirking slightly.

"Uh, what gave you that idea?" Lisa asked, face turning red.

"You just did. Heh, how cute. Have you guys done it?"

"Naraku! Why would you ask her that?" Kiera asked playfully. She wanted to know too, though.

"We just got back together, so no, we haven't done it and we never will." Lisa said back snidely.

"Marriage?" Naraku asked.

"It's a possibility, but we are waaaaay too far away from that."

"Ah, well, there's Inuyasha, I must say 'Hi' before I forget, tootles." Naraku said, his dark smile returning. Lisa blinked a few times before a hand planted itself on her shoulder.

"Hey," Sesshomaru said, sitting on a stool next to her. Lisa sat on the one next to him and sighed.

"You rang?" Lisa asked.

"So, what made you want to ask me out?" he asked, taking a sip of water and munching on some Goldfish. Lisa shrugged.

"I've been wanting to for a while, but, I don't know, I just want to."

"Me too. I'm glad you did it, I would've said something wrong."

"Hahaha, yeah. What can I say?"

"Hey everyone! Since Max is finished with Cory's BJ, we're going to play Truth or Dare, uncensored, so if you're faint of heart, we would especially love for you to join! It's over here!" James hollered loudly. Lisa looked at Sesshomaru, who seemed hesitant.

"You don't have to, I'm not." Lisa chirped. Sesshomaru blinked as he saw Kiera next to Naraku. He felt a tug at his chest, making him flinch.

"Do mind if I do? Since it's my birthday, I get to order people around first." Sesshomaru said, hearing Max announce that part.

"Uh, well…no, go ahead." Lisa said, trying not to sound disappointed. She really didn't want him to play, since James was, well, James. Let's just say he was the last person you'd want to play Truth or Dare with, but unbeknownst to her, the problem wasn't James at all.

"Haha, hey, B-Day Boy gets to ask first! But, Kiera, lovely Kiera, you go first." James laughed as Naraku glared at him hatefully.

"Truth or dare?" Sesshomaru asked her. Why wasn't he able to stop staring at her?

"Uhhh, dare, I suppose." She said sweetly, licking her lips nervously.

"Ooooh! Got yourself a wildcat, Naraku." Max giggled.

"Shut up!" Naraku snapped. Sesshomaru, looked at Naraku and remembered his hatred for the bastard, then at Kiera, who was absorbing his attention, and finally he smirked.

"I dare you to give me a kiss…on the lips." Sesshomaru said, seeing Naraku's infuriated reaction.

"It's just a peck, I still love you." Kiera said to Naraku, eyeing Sesshomaru strangely. Max and James panicked. Max had told James and Cory the news of Lisa and Sesshomaru, and the three guys cautiously looked over at Lisa, who was sitting at the bar with a full can of Dew, smashed in her hand as the liquid dripped all over her hand and onto the floor. Her face was indescribably furious.

"So, uh, who should we ask to leave?" James whispered to Max, who watched as the 'peck' turned into a full-blown kiss.

"What the FUCK?" Naraku roared, standing up. A huge smash was heard, as well a door slamming loudly. Kiera stood up and frowned.

"It's nothing!" she shouted.

"Nothing? It's nothing, and what about you, dick? How do you think poor Lisa over there feels?" Naraku hollered, pointing at where Lisa was, but she was the one who smashed an expensive glass with her hand and left. Small blood drops led out the door.

"She…smashed it with her hand…lord, help us all." James whispered.

"I'm going to go find her, everyone, continue partying, or leave, whatever! Fuck this!" Max shouted, slamming the door behind him. Inuyasha looked at his elder brother with curiosity. Sesshomaru sat on the floor, staring at it with disbelief. He said yes to Lisa, only to cheat on her an hour later, just as she was watching. He had completely forgotten about her when he joined the mass of people.

"You know, I can't wait until Dad gets a whiff of this, it won't be from me, but I'm sure he'd be so _proud_ of you." Inuyasha said crudely as he stood up to leave with Miroku. Everyone left to get some fresh air and to talk over what had just happened. Naraku dumped Kiera on the spot, so she and Sesshomaru sat inside, talking.

"I'm sorry for what I did." Sesshomaru said.

"I wanted to kiss you. Naraku is wonderful, but I've always wanted to know you." She replied with a shrug.

"Why?" he asked.

"Look, I've heard a lot about you and never had the courage to even talk to you, but hanging out with Naraku, Kagura and Lisa, I grew some backbone. I'm mostly sorry for Lisa, I forgot about you two dating."

"How did you find out?"

"She was telling Naraku and I heard."

"Oh." Sesshomaru choked. He could only imagine how angry Lisa was.

Lisa stood at her bathroom sink with tweezers, carefully picking out the glass from her right hand. Blood fell into the sink, but it didn't hurt, not as much as watching what just happened hurt. No, the cuts didn't hurt at all.

"Lisa?" Max asked, walking in. He was careful not to get too close, but he wanted nothing but to hug her warmly.

"What, Max?" Lisa asked calmly, dropping another piece into the trash.

"I, uh, I, damn, I don't even know what to say." He groaned miserably.

"Hahahahaha, it's whatever." She laughed, but Max shivered. It was the darkest laugh to ever leave her mouth. He could almost see her aura, and it was blood red, the color of a killer's.

"You want to stay with me?" Max asked. Lisa turned her head to him sharply.

"Why should I leave? I pay to live here too! Fuck him! Let him leave!" she hollered, showing her first sign of anger.

"I'm just looking out for you, sorry."

"I, ow, I know Max, sorry." She said, saying 'ow' for no reason. It didn't hurt. Not one damn bit.

"God, this is fucked up."

"That's what I get for thinking…nothing. Never mind." Lisa said sternly, checking her hand for more glass. She then began wiping the blood off gently.

"Lisa! Lisa, please, let me explain!" Sesshomaru hollered. Max watched as she gripped something and he slammed the door in Sesshomaru's face, watching the tweezers stick into the wooden door.

"That would've killed him!" Max hissed.

"Hm, too bad that door got in the way, huh?" Lisa asked, wrapping a bandage on her hand.

"Lisa! I'm sorry it had to happen like that, but, I was moving out anyway, so, fuck you too!" Sesshomaru hollered, storming to his room to pack.

"Please, calm down. I'm moving in with you. You and I get along a lot better…Lisa, no!" Max shouted as she ripped the door open, walking to Sesshomaru's locked shut door.

"Fuck me? Yeah, fuck me hard! If you didn't like me, why did you say yes and go do that in front of me? Why? What did I do?" she hollered, no tears yet, but pounding the door with her injured hand hurt a bit.

"To get you off my case! Plus, I thought you were in the bathroom when that happened! Go away!"

"Ahhhhhhhh! Fuck you and your couch, you stupid dick! I'm sure Daddy will be extremely proud of you! I'll bet you two had this planned for a long time! Some Goddamn friend you are! Max, stop talking!" Lisa shouted angrily as the man pulled her away from the door.

"You're coming with me, Lisa! Now! Shut up! I'm tired of this shit!" Max bellowed heatedly. He pushed her in his car finally and drove away as she stared out the window murderously.

Max sighed as he drove to his house. He forgot to call his mom and tell her he was bringing his pet murderer home, but she could get over it.

Lisa sat on Max's bed, staring at the floor. What was she going to do next? What had she done that was so awful that she deserved this?

Sesshomaru sat on his bed, looking down. He had so much going for him and he still did, the only thing he lost was Lisa, in more than one way. Why did he do it? Why?

AN- Do you hate me yet? Hahaha! Next chapter is the last chapter, and I know you're wondering, "How the hell is she going to finish all this shit up?" Well, calm down children, and let the master do her work. Haha, I'm sure you'll like it somewhat.

No, I do not do romance, I just thought these two going together was Hell on Earth, and it was. Hahahaha! Proved it! Most of my readers know that when I go serious, the next and last chapter is always lighthearted and fun. So, don't hate on me.


	40. Chapter 40

Six Years Down The Line…

Sesshomaru sat at the island in his kitchen. He was now 25 years young; he had his own house, a big house, but not a mansion like his father's. He never could stand huge mansions, he either got lost, or if he lost something, it was an epic journey with Indiana Jones to find whatever is lost.

Sesshomaru sighed, biting into a piece of salad from last night's dinner. He chewed slowly as he turned a page in the newspaper. He moved out of his birthcity, but not out of state. He moved to a quiet little prosperous town where he was his father's business ally and a respectable doctor. One day he was a businessman and the next day a doctor. It wasn't stressful because he had decent hours.

"Bye Sesshomaru, I'm going to school!" Rin yelled, running through the kitchen as fast as possible, trying to avoid his watchful eyes, but she was too slow.

"Rin, get back here!" Sesshomaru called, smirking when he heard her sigh of annoyance. Rin was thirteen, going to be fourteen soon, and so she was growing up, which bothered her current guardian. Rin's mother and stepfather died in a car crash a few years ago, so Sesshomaru took her in, seeing as he had no one else to care for.

"What now?" Rin asked, walking back in. She had on a jean mini-skirt, a blue tank top, and white, furry boots. Rin had her hair pulled back in a ponytail with a blue flower in it and too much makeup, well, in Sesshomaru's opinion. She was holding her backpack strap over her shoulder as she stared impatiently for his response.

"What the _hell_ are you wearing, Rin?" Sesshomaru asked, preparing for another clothing argument.

"Uh, clothes, duh." She responded.

"You look like an Eskimo hooker that got lost in Hawaii." Sesshomaru growled. Rin groaned as she walked down the hallway, trudging back upstairs to change. Sesshomaru chuckled to himself. She looked absolutely ridiculous. He began munching on his salad, a looking up a few minutes later as Rin came running back downstairs.

"Better?" she asked. Instead of a skirt, she wore jeans, and traded in her anti-animal boots for sneakers.

"Jacket?" Sesshomaru quizzed, nodding to her bare shoulders.

"Oh, yeah, oops." She said, putting a dark blue one on. She turned around and Sesshomaru noticed her bag looked fuller.

"Come back here, young lady." He ordered calmly.

"Crap." Rin growled, walking back to him.

"Bag." Sesshomaru ordered, taking the bag from her hand. He pulled out the skirt and boots, looking at Rin suspiciously.

"Haha…how'd those get in there?" she asked with a smile as he handed her backpack back to her.

"Bye, love you!" she called, running out the door.

"What am I going to do with her?" Sesshomaru asked, throwing the skirt and boots away. Sesshomaru looked down as he heard whining and felt a paw scrape against his leg.

"Hm?" Sesshomaru looked down, staring at the yellow lab, sitting patiently on the floor. Yes, a dog. Rin wanted the puppy so badly. He was sitting in a box, outside a store. Free puppies, and Rin wanted him. Nothing was wrong with him, except that he was so damn weird. He was a little over a year old with beautiful coat, cute face, and bizarre personality.

"Woof!" he barked, his tail wagging. He was still sitting on the floor, looking up at Sesshomaru happily.

"What is it, Yujiro?" Sesshomaru asked, rinsing off his bowl and fork before putting it inside the dishwasher. The dog ran over to his leash and picked it up, running back to Sesshomaru, sitting patiently.

"A walk?" the white haired man asked. Yujiro ran in a circle, his tail wagging fiercely. Sesshomaru walked past the dog, falling forward as the dog's tail performed a Charlie Horse on Sesshomaru. (Charlie Horse- hit someone behind the knee and making him or her fall.) Sesshomaru caught his fall by grabbing the island, standing back up.

"No, Yujiro. I have to go to work. I'll walk you later. Sorry boy." Sesshomaru said, petting the dog gently. Yujiro whined as he watched his master grab his keys and leave the house.

"Damn dog." Sesshomaru growled, noticing the slight limp in his right leg. It hurt a bit, but nothing horrible.

"Hey Sesshomaru! Morning!" a man yelled, waving to Sesshomaru.

"Morning Mike!" Sesshomaru called back.

"Haha, working again? Do you ever have a vacation?"

"Not really. Only around Christmas time, I suppose."

"That's not much. Oh well, you can endure more than I can, I guess. Hey, we got new neighbors."

"Really? Who?"

"I think they're grad school students. Two guys and two girls."

"Hm, I'll have to meet them later, I have to go."

"You have a good day!"

"You too!" Sesshomaru replied, driving off. Mike was the "veteran" of the neighborhood. He'd been there the longest. He was 45 years old, had a wife and two kids. Jacob, who was fifteen and Jordan, who was thirteen. Sesshomaru shook his head, almost driving to the hospital instead of his office building. Today was, "Work With Dad Across The State" Day. He dreaded it. Usually Inutaisho had twenty billion papers for Sesshomaru to check over and sign. It was awfully boring. Even though he was only 25, Sesshomaru went though grad school like a madman. He went to the most advanced one in the United States and wowed them all with his skills.

"Morning!" a girl at the entrance desk chirped to him.

"Good morning, Kelly." Sesshomaru said back, catching the elevator with a few other employees.

"Ugh, damn, I can't stand my girlfriend. It's over." A man, about Sesshomaru's age, chirped.

"Haha, why?" A girl asked.

"She was in my bed last night."

"That's a bad thing?"

"With another guy."

"Oh, well, that's pretty bad."

"Yeah…oh, good morning, Boss." The man chirped, blushing slightly. He stroked his blonde hair nervously.

"Morning Brent, Lexi." Sesshomaru said, smiling at Brent's nervousness.

"Morning." They replied. Sesshomaru got off on his floor, walking to his office.

"Oh my God," Lexi said.

"What?" Brent asked.

"He remembered my name!" she cheered, clapping her hands.

"Psh, freak." Brent grumbled to her, waiting for his floor.

Sesshomaru opened his door and closed it behind him, sighing loudly as he saw the stack of folders, full of papers for him to sign. He took off his jacket and sat down, pressing a button on his phone.

"Yes?" a girl's voice rang.

"I'm going to need coffee…a lot of it." Sesshomaru said.

"Coming right up." She laughed. Sesshomaru began scanning over the papers, signing and turning a page, then scanning again. Then his phone rang, he already knew who it was.

"What, Dad?" Sesshomaru growled.

"Did you," Inutaisho began.

"Yes, I received your damn forest…in paper form, too. Thanks a lot." Sesshomaru snapped irritably, still not done with folder number one.

"Sorry, the real world is never kind." Inutaisho replied.

"Nor are you. Why are you calling?"

"To see if you got the papers."

"Well I did." Sesshomaru said, slamming the phone down, cutting off the call. Obnoxious as always, that's Inutaisho's motto. Sesshomaru then thought about his brother, Inuyasha, who, oddly enough, had become quite mature over the years. He and Kagome had been dating for four years straight, the longest Inuyasha had ever had.

"Coffee for the Tyrant-In-Training!" A woman sang, walking in with Sesshomaru's coffee cup. She sat it down and smiled.

"Cream?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Cream, milk, one teaspoon of sugar." She listed off as he nodded.

"Good job, Jessa. Now, get me a donut." Sesshomaru said, pretending to be cross about it.

"Oh no, don't hit me. Haha, can you say please?" Jessa asked, flipping her dyed red hair behind her shoulder.

"Chop, chop, Jessa." Sesshomaru retorted as the girl turned around. She got to the door and stopped abruptly.

"Wait a tick…you don't like donuts!" she yelled, pointing at him. Sesshomaru nodded as he chuckled.

"Alright, you pass. Now get back to work, slacker." He ordered.

"Aye, aye, Captain!" she laughed, going back to her desk. Sesshomaru smiled. He liked her the most in his office of doom, but he would never dare to go beyond 'friend' with her. After what happened between him and She Who Will Not Be Named, he made a promise to always be single, and never have a relationship…ever.

"It was my fault, but still, I'm not getting into that position ever again." He whispered to himself. He then felt a bad mood coming on. He and Lisa stopped talking after that. He called her numerous times, but as expected, she never returned them and she made sure to move away and leave no forwarding address.

"Damn, I miss her." He groaned, feeling that empty void in his heart. Even though they fought, constantly, they had been friends since eight years old, and that lasted a good ten years, then he went and fucked it up badly.

"Hey, do you have a pencil?" a man asked quietly. Sesshomaru nodded and tossed him one.

"What happened to yours?" Sesshomaru asked.

"It, uh, well, I don't know. I lost it." He replied.

"Oh, well." Sesshomaru shook his head while smiling. Every single person that worked for him had his or her own little quirks. Kelly was always happy and energetic. Brent was always finding the wrong girl, but he was a great storyteller. Lexi was the athletic, go get it, type, even in the office. If she wanted something, she would take the stairs if she had to. Sesshomaru often heard her say, "Fuck elevators, I'm taking the stairs." So, on her birthday, Sesshomaru had her favorite quote put on the cake when the office celebrated with her.

Jessa was someone all on her own. She did anything and everything Sesshomaru asked, no matter how absurd, but she always added in something to make it funnier. He asked her for coffee with a cherry on top one time, and she brought it, whipped cream with a cherry. It tasted really good. Sesshomaru asked for a diet water the next day and she slapped a piece of paper on Brent's water bottle, saying, "Brent's Diet Water: It'll make you less thirsty so I can get some work done." Jessa made him laugh, a lot.

The man that came in the room earlier, George, the poor guy, was a very sweet, innocent man. He was in his mid-forties, balding and just had that aura that made everyone love him, but he was so forgetful and he lost everything. Sesshomaru often made the comment, "You'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on," to him. Other than that, George was a hard, honest worker.

Sesshomaru worked diligently through the day, ignoring the phone calls from his father, making Jessa sit in his office answer them the whole time. She would answer with a different accent each time. First she did Asian, then Mexican, then French, then Southern American, Scarface, G Straight From the Hood, anything that came to mind. It entertained Sesshomaru to no end. Which made him think about the time Max and Lisa did something similar, and how he was a jerk to Lisa about it, but now, he loved it?

"Good night, uh, oh, damn, what's your name again?" Sesshomaru asked Jessa, who rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, queer." She snapped playfully, waving to Sesshomaru as she drove off. He got into his own car, driving home hastily. He had called Rin to make sure she was at a friend's house, and then called their parents to make sure she wasn't lying. It was a Friday, so he let her stay the night, even though he didn't want to be alone, but there was always weird-ass Yujiro, so, whatever.

"Hey boy, hungry?" Sesshomaru asked the dog, who wagged his tail happily. He ran and got one of Sesshomaru's shoes and brought it back in his mouth.

"Damn it, stop that." Sesshomaru growled, ripping the shoe out of the dog's mouth. Yujiro then ran away, and came back a few seconds later with one of Rin's bras in his mouth.

"You pervert! Stop! Bad dog!" Sesshomaru scolded. Yujiro dropped it and squinted his eyes as he lowered his head, like he was about to get hit. Sesshomaru grabbed the bra, walked upstairs and threw it in Rin's room, only for Yujiro to "fetch" it for him.

"No! God…you're dumb!" Sesshomaru yelled, throwing the bra back in her room and closing the door. Yujiro whined.

"Hah, now what?" Sesshomaru asked, getting into his pajamas and walking back downstairs, where Yujiro had gotten into the laundry room, holding a pair of Sesshomaru's dirty boxers in his mouth, tail wagging happily. His body wagged along with his tail.

"I get it, you're happy, now stop stealing clothes." Sesshomaru growled, throwing the boxers in the laundry room and closing the door. Sesshomaru poured some food in Yujiro's dish, watched the dog eat it quickly. Sesshomaru walked from the kitchen and into the living room, collapsing on a couch. He turned the plasma screen TV on, flipping mindlessly through the channels. He stopped on the news channel, where a man was reading off a story.

"A man in Australia today, entered his house after a long day of work, only to find that a kangaroo had snuck into his house through the doggy door in his back door. He wrestled with the animal, putting it in a headlock and finally forcing it out of his house and back into the wild." The anchorman said, holding back laughter.

"And this has to do with the local news how?" Sesshomaru quizzed irritably. It showed the Australian man, giving an overview at what happened.

"At first, I thought it was some crazy ninja or something, but I looked again and it wasn't." he said with a big smile.

"Hahaha! You're an idiot." Sesshomaru laughed. Yujiro had finished eating and walked in the front room, whining as he looked at Sesshomaru.

"What?" he asked, looking at the dog.

"Woof!" Yujiro barked, backing up a little. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and pat the couch.

"Come on." He said as the dog leapt onto the couch, curling up and going to sleep.

"Dumbass, you get on here when I'm not home, I know this." Sesshomaru said, stroking the furry animal. Yujiro's ears twitched at the sound of Sesshomaru's voice, but he didn't move otherwise.

After a while, Sesshomaru went upstairs, crawled into bed and went to sleep. Yujiro slept on the end of his bed, snoring loudly.

"Morning Sesshomaru." Rin said happily. It was noon and Sesshomaru didn't have to work until three.

"More like, good afternoon." Sesshomaru replied, grabbing an apple. He bit into it and sighed.

"So, since you work late tonight, can I go back to Julie's? Her parents said it was ok as long as you said ok."

"Sure. Spending another night?"

"If you don't mind?"

"No, you can. It's not like you'll be awake when I get home anyway."

"Alright, so, can I just walk back with her? Julie is in the bathroom right now."

"Yes you may. Have a good time. I'm going for a run with Yujiro." Sesshomaru said, kissing the top of her head and walking upstairs.

"Yujiro! Buddy!" Rin chirped as she played with the happy lab. Julie came out and rubbed his belly as well.

Sesshomaru put on shorts and a shirt, looking around for his running shoes. He growled when he saw one in the middle of the hallway.

"Damn dog." Sesshomaru growled, putting it on. He found the other on the couch downstairs.

"Hi Sesshomaru!" Julie chirped, waving to him. Sesshomaru put his shoe on and smiled.

"Hi Julie. How have you been?" Sesshomaru asked her, looking around for Yujiro's leash.

"Eh, you know, school, boys, drama." She said, watching his every move.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Julie. Come on, Yujiro, you dumb dog." Sesshomaru said, putting the leash on his collar.

"Want me to lock the door when I leave?" Rin asked.

"No, I forgot my keys upstairs. Well, see you guys later." Sesshomaru said, closing the door behind him.

"God…he is _fire_!" Julie yelled, practically melting in the chair.

"You're a freak." Rin laughed as she put clean clothes in her bag.

"I'm sorry that you're related to him and that you can't see the hotness. I would hit that." Julie snickered as she saw Rin's disgust.

Sesshomaru walked to his mailbox, seeing someone out of the corner of his eye running by him. He heard Mike bid the runner good morning, and she said good morning back.

"Ah, got yourself a running buddy, today, huh?" Mike asked Sesshomaru.

"Yes, but the lights are on and nobody's home." Sesshomaru replied, looking down at Yujiro, who was looking at the girl runner eagerly. He wanted to run at her pace, not talk to old guys.

"Haha, he's still got some puppy in him. Give it a little while, he'll be calm." Mike laughed.

"There is one thing I hope he grows out of."

"What's that?"

"His obsession of pretty girls. Every time he sees a pretty girl, he runs after her and tackles her, then he won't stop licking her."

"Has this happened before?"

"Yes, that's why I have him on a leash. I used to run with him without one." Sesshomaru said, looking down when he heard Yujiro's irritated whine. The girl runner had stopped at a house, talking to a guy.

"That's a great habit though. He can find you the one, you know." Mike laughed.

"Psh, he'll find me the one all right…the one out of dozens who decides to take me to court for aggressive animals." Sesshomaru replied, starting up a pace.

"Well, bye!" Mike called out.

"Bye!" Sesshomaru replied. He began running, Yujiro at a calm pace beside him. Sesshomaru decided to slow down when the girl runner was in sight again. Yujiro began whining loudly and eagerly, wanting so badly to get her attention. Sesshomaru looked at the girl from behind. She was somewhat tall, very slender with some muscles and great curves. She was tan with her long, black hair in a ponytail.

"Nice choice, buddy." Sesshomaru said to Yujiro, smirking at the dog's eagerness. Yujiro began running faster than Sesshomaru, who held fast to the leash. The girl was still a distance ahead, but nowhere near where she could outrun a horny yellow lab.

"Yujiro, stop!" Sesshomaru ordered, but the young dog was at full speed now, pulling Sesshomaru along. Yujiro pulled hard enough to where he yanked the leash out of Sesshomaru's hand, at the same time breaking his collar. He then sped up, chasing after the girl.

"Ma'am! Watch out! Yujiro, damn it, stop!" Sesshomaru hollered, speeding up to try and prevent the thirteenth happening of Yujiro tackling girls. Thirteen was an unlucky number too.

"Shit!" the girl yelled as Yujiro leapt up, tackling her in the back. She fell forward on the curb, landing on her right wrist. She turned over, holding it gingerly.

"What the…whose dog is this?" she hollered angrily. Sesshomaru knelt down beside her.

"I am so sorry, he only does this to pretty girls." Sesshomaru said, standing up as she did. Her back was too him and he heard her laugh...a very familiar voice and laugh.

"Hahaha, he only likes pretty girls, huh? Well, I'll give you points for originality. I've never heard _that one_ before." She said crudely, turning around. Sesshomaru felt his face drop, watching her eyes go wide as well.

"Oh, God…Lisa?" Sesshomaru asked with disbelief. It was she. He knew her blue eyes and snide comments anywhere.

"You…don't talk to me!" Lisa yelled, walking away, still holding her injured wrist. Sesshomaru felt that horrible jab in his heart again, but he wasn't about to let her go, not this time.

"No, Lisa, please! Please don't go!" Sesshomaru begged, running in front of her.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't!" she growled.

"I'll give you two! One, your wrist is hurt and it's my responsibility and two…I've been such a mess without you." He said sadly. Lisa blinked and looked down as Yujiro whined for attention. She petted him with her left hand and sighed loudly.

"Same here." She mumbled, scratching the dog's ears. An awkward moment of silence passed.

"Here, let me see your wrist," Sesshomaru said, taking her wrist gingerly. He pressed on it slightly, but she didn't hiss. He also saw faint scars on her hand.

"Oh…those…I'm sure you remember," Lisa said, seeing his eyes stare at the scars.

"I do and I've hated myself intensely for it. Now, can you move your wrist?" he asked.

"Uh, hold on…ow, it hurts." She said.

"I think it's sprained. Come with me." Sesshomaru ordered, making her follow.

"How do you know it's not broken? I can sue for some cash." Lisa remarked.

"You can and I know it's not broken. I'm a doctor, and I've dealt with this a lot. It's sprained."

"Don't tell me…you work at the hospital ten minutes away from here."

"Yes, I do. Why?" Sesshomaru asked, leading her to his kitchen so she could sit.

"Ah, shit. Me too." She sighed.

"Really? For what?"

"I went through grad school like a mad, white woman. I'm an official neuropsychologist and I was transferred here a few days ago. I moved in two houses down from you, too."

"With whom?"

"Max, Cory and some awesome chick named Jessa."

"Jessa? Jessa Mills?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Yeah, you know her?"

"She's my assistant at my office, my other career."

"Oh wow…awkwaaaarrrrrrrd." Lisa sang, wincing as Sesshomaru placed an ice pack wrapped in a towel on her wrist gingerly.

"This is odd. So, how have you been?" Sesshomaru asked, refusing to let go of her.

"Well, after what you did to me, it took a lot out of Max to convince me not to overdose on vicodin. He stayed up three days and nights with me to make sure."

"I know, sorry won't make it better but, I really can't ever forgive myself. I was such a jerk, and you deserved better."

"I agree, but after a while, I started missing you. I really enjoyed your company. Max is a pushover, but you weren't, and you were the best thing that happened."

"But,"

"You made a mistake and I forgave you a long, long time ago. I just didn't have the balls to call you up and say that."

"Oh…thank you." Sesshomaru said, finally feeling safe of letting go of her. He was scared that she would take off and leave again.

"So, what about you?" she asked. Sesshomaru walked over to the fridge and grabbed a Mountain Dew and water.

"Haha, you remembered." She laughed as he opened it for her.

"How could I not? Well, other than not having you around, it's been good."

"I thought you hated Dew."

"I do, that's for Rin."

"Oh. Does she visit?"

"She lives with me. Her mom and stepdad died in a car crash, so she's been living with me for three years."

"See? You're not a jerk."

"I'm going to Hell for what I did to you."

"If you truly feel bad, then God will let you in."

"I hope so."

"Haha. So, I thought you hated dogs."

"I love dogs, just not him." Sesshomaru growled, looking at Yujiro, who licked Lisa's leg.

"Ew. Weirdo."

"What happened to Dee Donk?"

"He's in my bedroom two houses down."

"Still alive?"

"Uh, yeah, my guinea pigs always live to be at least seven."

"True."

"I want to be friends again, Sesshomaru."

"We are."

"But nothing more, never again."

"I understand."

"So…working tonight?"

"Yes, late."

"Me too. Want to hang?"

"Of course."

AN- I lied, I'll extend this a few more chapters. Haha, Yujiro is my favorite so far.


	41. Chapter 41

Like The Old Days

"So, see you at work?" Sesshomaru asked Lisa, who was standing outside his door. She turned and looked at him, smiling sweetly.

"Uh huh, can I get a ride with you? Max and Cory took my car to go pick up Max's." Lisa asked, eyeing Yujiro wearily. The yellow lab kept trying to pry his way around Sesshomaru to follow her, but he wouldn't allow him through, making Yujiro whine loudly.

"Sure, I usually leave about two-thirty, though."

"Ok, see you then! Bye Yujiro!" Lisa called out, running down the sidewalk, hearing the dog bark and yip noisily. Sesshomaru closed the door and let out a long, relieved sigh. He then bent down and hugged Yujiro, who sat still, wondering why his master was hugging him. He never hugged him.

"Yujiro, even though you didn't mean to, you found my best friend and brought her back to me, thanks." Sesshomaru sat, patting the dog's head lightly. Yujiro's tail wagged happily as he followed his master upstairs.

A few hours later, Sesshomaru jogged downstairs quickly as he heard the doorbell. Yujiro was nipping at his heels playfully.

"Stop that!" Sesshomaru snapped, opening the door.

"Stop what?" Lisa asked with her finger prepared to hit the doorbell again.

"Not you, him." Sesshomaru replied, letting Lisa in. Yujiro ran through the house, picked up the first thing he saw and ran back to Lisa to show it off. Sesshomaru felt his cheeks burn, as the dog arrived with a pair of his dirty boxers. Lisa placed her fingers over her mouth, giggling quietly as she saw the smiley faces on them.

"My mom bought me them, I only wear them to bed." Sesshomaru growled irritably, grabbing the boxers, but Yujiro wanted to play. He stuck his butt in the air, keeping a firm grip on the clothing item. He dragged Sesshomaru into the kitchen until finally he let go. Sesshomaru threw them in the laundry room and walked back to Lisa, who was still muffling her laughter.

"I swear, I don't wear them out in public." He continued, walking outside as she followed.

"I was laughing at Yujiro. He's cute." Lisa insisted as she got in the passenger side. Sesshomaru shook his head as he turned the car on, backing out of the driveway and heading down the road.

"That damn dog makes me so mad. I see right through his 'cute, innocent dog' act. He does it to embarrass me." Sesshomaru growled, stopping at a red light.

"Yeah, I think he wants people to sue you." Lisa retorted, gently rubbing her wrist. Sesshomaru looked down and huffed.

"If you get time, come to my office and I'll wrap that up so in case there is something wrong, it'll heal properly."

"Eh, it's just stiff and sore. Nothing I can't handle."

"I'm serious, either come to my office or I'll come to yours."

"Then you come to mine."

"Fine."

"Fine." Lisa mocked, smiling as he smirked as well. But, no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get rid of that awkward feeling, that gap of six years of no contact with him. It was like they just met for the first time after a date gone wrong. Sesshomaru felt the same way, but he wouldn't dare voice it. Lisa groaned as he pulled into his parking spot.

"What?" he asked, getting out.

"Your parking spot is so much closer to the building than mine!"

"Where's yours?"

"All the way in fucking Uzbekistan!" she whined, pointing the opposite way of the building.

"Walking is good for you."

"Until a hurricane comes! I don't want to get hit with a SUV or something!" she argued, grabbing the door handle with her right hand, only curse as the pain shot up her arm.

"I'm not joking, come to my office." He ordered.

"Ok, I will right now." She sighed, following him to the elevator. It hit the second floor and he strode out with Lisa right behind him. She got a few curious glances, and she even saw some jealous stares from the women that worked there.

"I take it that you're the ladies' man around here?" Lisa asked with a laugh as a girl rolled her eyes.

"I try not to be, honestly. They're just like cockroaches, they won't leave me alone." Sesshomaru replied with a slight whine to his voice. Lisa giggled at the negative attention. They arrived at his office, which was an all glass window office.

"Ah, dude, that sucks." Lisa chimed.

"I know, they all just sit at their desks and stare at me when I'm trying to work! It's so annoying!" Sesshomaru growled as he closed the door. He also had no privacy, so he had his desk in front of the window so that when somebody walked in, he could click off whatever game he was playing or continue playing it without their noticing. Lisa sat in a chair and looked at the envious stares of the women. She waved tauntingly with her left hand as they rolled their eyes.

"Ugh, bitches." Lisa giggled as Sesshomaru opened his closet, pulling out his white lab coat. He put it over his nice dress clothes and sighed, pulling out some bandages.

"Don't provoke them." He said, walking over to her and kneeling down in front of her. He took Lisa's hand and she pretended to be extremely happy about it. She cupped her mouth and acted like something wonderful just happened.

"What're you doing?" Sesshomaru asked her skeptically.

"Making it look like you just proposed to me…hi there, you homely bitch." Lisa replied, waving to a nurse who looked like she just saw them having hot, wild, animal sex. Sesshomaru couldn't help but laugh as he saw the pure infuriation of at least ten nurses at that moment. He stood up and walked over to his door, opening it.

"I'm not proposing, my dog just about broke her wrist!" he called out, watching the faces lighten up exponentially.

"Too bad he didn't!" one lady said loudly. Lisa flipped her off as Sesshomaru walked back over to her, getting down on both knees this time. He took her wrist in his hand, gently pushing up her long sleeved black shirt.

"Ah, ow." Lisa growled.

"I barely touched it."

"Still hurts."

"Well, it's going to hurt a lot for a few minutes." He replied, slowly wrapping the gaze around it.

"Damn, I was going to play basketball tomorrow, too. Me and Jessa against Max and Cory." Lisa said.

"Well, no basketball, or anything for that matter, for at least a week. It needs its time to heal appropriately or it will cause problems in the future." Sesshomaru scolded. Lisa felt her phone vibrate and she pulled it out of her pocket.

"Hello…ow." She added, letting Sesshomaru know that he was squeezing her wrist too hard.

"What's all this bullshit about you riding to work with Sesshomaru? What the hell, Lisa?" Max asked heatedly.

"Well, you picked out the house that was two houses down from his, not me. Plus, we're cool, nothing's wrong." Lisa replied, smiling as Sesshomaru finished up. He leaned up and grabbed the phone, standing up as well.

"Goddamn it! After all he did to you, you just up and forgive him like that? Fuck him! He's just going to do it again! And another thing," Max hollered.

"Hello, Max." Sesshomaru said, his silky smooth voice sending chills down Max's spine, but that didn't stop his anger.

"Fine, if she's willing to give you another chance, then I guess that's her choice, but if you ever, and I mean, ever, hurt her again, I don't even care if it's little argument, if I see her upset or crying because of you one more time, trust me, Lisa's anger issues will be the last of your worries, because I'll just kill you. I won't dick around about it like she would, I'll come over with a gun and fucking shoot you."

"Oh, come now Max, no need for violence." Sesshomaru retorted. As he talked to Max, he had his back to Lisa, who was pretending to smack his ass continuously, while taunting the jealous nurses who walked by. Sesshomaru turned around and she stood still like a statue, but once he turned around, she pretended to grab his hips and thrust him.

"Lisa, damn it, they'll gang up on you if you continue to taunt them." Sesshomaru said as he heard her snort with laughter.

"I'm sorry, I love their faces!" she replied.

"Psh, whatever dick. Just watch your back and check your boots from now on." Max growled, clicking him off. Sesshomaru handed her phone back to her.

"Hasn't he become the angry man?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Yeah, him and Cory both. And the weird thing is, when they both have a bad day at work, they come home, yell at each other, then have sex. I don't know what to do when those days roll around. I get so confused. Haha, that's why my room is in the basement/party pad." She said, checking the time.

"Here, I'll walk with you." Sesshomaru offered, opening the door and following her down the hallway.

"Don't you think it's weird how we've…ran into each other after all this time?" Lisa asked, pulling out her keys and stopping at a door.

"You mean how my dog ran _you_ over? Yes, I find this all odd, but it's a good weird. I'm glad Yujiro sprained your wrist…if you get what I mean." Sesshomaru replied, feeling stupid for saying that.

"Yeah, I got it. Haha, I think." She said, opening her office door and walking in. Sesshomaru felt a rush of jealousy wash over him. It wasn't as big as his, but it was a hell of a lot more private, with a nice comfy chair behind the desk, two other chairs in front of it, a nice couch under a window, that had a great view, and a sliding glass door that led out to a porch.

"Damn you." He growled jealously.

"Hey, you have a great parking spot, so it's only fair I get a great office." She retorted, putting on her white lab coat and sitting in her chair.

"So, tell me, what exactly do neuropsychologists do?"

"Absolutely nothing. I get paid as much as you do but I do almost nothing. I evaluate patients' like a psychologist, but I also am allowed to do brain biopsies, or brain surgery, or recommend anything that I think would help them, which is a rarity at best."

"You researched this career, didn't you?"

"Yep, I read it and I was like, damn, sounds like the job for me."

"You're lazy."

"Haha, I know." She retorted. Sesshomaru checked his watch and sighed heavily. His first appointment was in ten minutes and he had to be ready early.

"I have to go, do you want to hang out after work?"

"Sure. I won't be tired."

"Slacker!" Sesshomaru hollered, closing the door behind him.

Lisa yawned with boredom. Only ten minutes before her shift was over with. She had only two patients that day and they both turned out to be overly stressed jerks trying to get some medication. Lisa may be lazy, but she's not going to hand out medicine like it was candy. Hell, she rarely gave out her candy to friends. Lisa yawned one last time, placing her head on her desk and falling asleep.

Sesshomaru clocked out and put his lab coat up in his closet, shutting down his computer and cleaning off his desk a little before going to get Lisa. He had so many odd appointments that day. He had clinic duty today, the worst shift ever. Most patients being women, and one guy he swore was gay. Almost every woman came in with "lumps on their breasts." So what did he have to do? Go find another damn nurse that wasn't "busy" as an "overseer" of the breast examination. Sesshomaru hated it. He would much rather had someone dying of the Flu or have their arm broken in five places.

"Maybe I should've been a neuropsychologist, too." He grumbled to himself as he opened Lisa's office door. He almost laughed. She was out cold on her desk. Sesshomaru walked over and shook her awake.

"Mmm, I'm sure you're just stressed, sir." She murmured as she woke up slowly.

"Yes, that explains it. It's like you live with me and know everything that goes on in my life." Sesshomaru retorted, helping her take off her lab coat.

"If I knew I was going to be that bored, I would've hired a male stripper and had a pole installed in my office." She yawned, hanging the coat up and turning around.

"Ready?" Sesshomaru asked her.

"Yeah, let's get the hell out of here." She chirped.

Sesshomaru stopped at his front door and turned his head to Lisa.

"Are you sure you're not tired?" he asked.

"I'm fine, I was just bored." She replied.

"Is Max going to kill me if you come over here so late?"

"Why are you so apprehensive about this? What happened to you? Did your balls drop off? I kind of miss the stubborn Sesshomaru who did what he wanted." Lisa said, following him inside. He turned the hallway light on as Yujiro jumped at Lisa, licking any part of her he could.

"I'm still feeling awful about what I did. I just feel awkward, and I know you do too."

"Give it a few days, we'll both feel better." She said, pushing Yujiro away from her.

"Yujiro, bad dog!" Sesshomaru scolded as the dog ran away, returning with a sock. Sesshomaru exhaled with annoyance, but he just let Yujiro have the damned thing. He was too tired to deal with that bundle of energy.

"Lisa, are you hungry?" Sesshomaru asked, looking at the time in the kitchen. It was almost midnight.

"Yeah, what do you have?" she called from the front room. Sesshomaru heard growling and Lisa's laughter. He sighed heavily.

"I thought I told you not to do anything active with your hand!" Sesshomaru called.

"I'm using my left hand, jerk!" she hollered back, laughing as Yujiro tried his hardest to get the sock from her, but in vein.

"Do you want some chicken?"

"Sounds…ah…great! Hahaha! How can you not love Yujiro?" she asked, walking into the kitchen as the dog followed happily, the sock hanging in his mouth. Sesshomaru looked at him, then at Lisa.

"I just have a knack for it, I suppose." He responded sarcastically. He loved Yujiro, just, not as much as she did.

"Mhm, sure." She said, bending down to get at eye level with Yujiro. Sesshomaru put the chicken in the microwave, grabbed a bottle of water and turned around to watch Lisa with his dog.

"Sit." She ordered. Yujiro dropped the sock and sat down obediently. She patted him gently and held her left hand out.

"Shake." She ordered. Yujiro lowered his head and rested it in her hand, looking up at her curiously. Lisa tightened her lips together to hold back laughter, but looked up when she heard a snort of laughter. Sesshomaru was bent over the sink, spitting out his water. He wiped his nose with a napkin and turned around.

"It…came out of my nose." He explained, taking the chicken out. Lisa began laughing hysterically as Yujiro turned over on his back, his tail wagging so fiercely that his body wagged with it, scooting himself across the tiled floor as he panted gleefully.

"He's so dumb! I love him!" Lisa laughed, grabbing a piece of chicken and sitting at the island. Sesshomaru opened a can of Mountain Dew and handed it to her, smiling.

"It took me three months just to teach him to sit and stay sitting. I don't think I'll attempt the shake trick…ever."

"Eh, I don't blame you." She replied, watching as Yujiro began nipping at his tail every time it flicked. He then panted while looking at Lisa.

A few hours later, Sesshomaru woke up from falling asleep during the movie. He forgot what movie it was, but he soon realized that Lisa had fallen asleep on Yujiro, who was in Sesshomaru's lap.

"Are you serious? You dumb dog." Sesshomaru groaned, but he saw Lisa's relaxed face as she nuzzled Yujiro's soft, clean fur. Sesshomaru sighed and reached over the side of the couch, pulling on a lever and propping his legs up so he could sleep comfortably too.


	42. Chapter 42

We Made It Happen

Inutaisho sighed impatiently as he pulled up in his son's driveway. He called Sesshomaru earlier, three times, but he hadn't answered nor returned the calls. Inutaisho felt the need to constantly keep tabs on his son because of what happened between him and Lisa. Inutaisho sat in his car, wondering whether he should try to track the girl down for Sesshomaru. He had never seen Sesshomaru so depressed before. And he hid it, a lot. He even hid it from his mother, who ended up finding out what happened anyway, but Sesshomaru always put a mask on to hide how he really felt.

"Ugh, I wouldn't be surprised if Lisa committed suicide after what he did. I loved her like my own, but she had a problem with keeping her mouth shut. Well, I'd better go in." Inutaisho said to himself, getting out of the car and walking up to the door, which immediately swung open before he had a chance to knock.

"Hi Uncle!" Rin chirped, her friend Julie waving to him.

"Hey Rin, Julie. Where's Sesshomaru?" Inutaisho asked them.

"Sleeping in the living room with his girlfriend." Julie said with a peculiar face. She looked disgusted with that fact.

"Girlfriend? I didn't know he had a girlfriend." Inutaisho asked.

"They're lying!" Sesshomaru's irritable voice rang from the front room.

"What? Can't come give Daddy a hug anym…_Lisa_?" Inutaisho almost shit a brick. Where'd she come from and why? He felt something warm and wet touch his fingers and he looked down immediately, facing Yujiro who growled and whined at him. The dog sat back on his hind legs, pawing at Inutaisho's hand. Inutaisho petted the dog softly before looking back at Lisa, who was looking for a way to get out.

"Hi Lisa." Inutaisho chirped uncertainly. Lisa nodded to him with a nervous smile.

"Hey…um, I'm going to go now." Lisa said to Sesshomaru, who instantly showed defiance at that statement.

"Why? You don't have to." He insisted, standing up and blocking her way. Lisa glanced at Inutaisho worriedly. It was quick, but the elder, white haired man saw it. She feared his presence…for once. He could tell that Lisa wanted nothing more than to leave and never come back as long as he was around.

"Yes, Lisa, stay. It's been a while." Inutaisho was adamant about her not leaving. He loosened his face up and tried his best to look and sound happy to see her, but that seemed to repulse her even more.

"No, no, I have to go. I look like a hot mess and I…uh…Max is probably throwing a fit and he will end up calling the cops, so, later." She said quickly, pushing past both father and son and disappearing out the front door. Inutaisho looked at the floor and then at Sesshomaru, who was glaring intensely at him.

"What?" Inutaisho snapped, trying not to be too shitty about it.

"Don't "what" me! You do this every damn time! Is it really your goal in life to jack with me? You constantly call me, you come over every Sunday, you pester me at _both_ of my jobs, whenever I have friends over, you interrogate them harshly, especially friends that are girls, and when I finally have Lisa back at my side, you scare her away!" Sesshomaru hollered, instantly regretting it when he remembered that Rin and Julie were in the kitchen, listening to the conversation. Inutaisho felt a stab at his heart, but he didn't dare show the pain. He straightened his jacket and smiled slightly.

"The only reason I do those things is to make sure you're ok and not hurting yourself. It wasn't my intention to scare Lisa off, I didn't even know she was still alive." He said to his son in a straight tone of voice.

"What? You wish she wasn't?"

"I just figured that after the way you cheated and dumped her a few hours after becoming her boyfriend, that she would have committed suicide. Hell, I would have, and if I didn't, six years down the line, I still wouldn't be your fucking friend. Who knows, maybe the reason she left was because her heart said, "Be friends," but her brain said, "No fucking way." Heh, whatever, I'm leaving." Inutaisho said, his voice becoming angrier by the minute. Inutaisho brushed by his son, who turned around pleadingly.

"Dad, I'm sorry, don't leave."

"Tch, piss off." Inutaisho growled, closing the door behind him.

Lisa opened the door to the basement, but rolled her eyes when Max's voice echoed through the house.

"Lisa? Is that you?" he asked frantically, running downstairs, quickly zipping up his pants.

"Huh? Yeah." She said, trying to hide any disappointment on her face. Max stared at Lisa, who stared back with a sort of, "What in the Hell is going on" look on her face.

"Hm? What?" Max asked her.

"Max, is that…chocolate and whipped cream on your…uh, crotch?" she asked warily, pointing down at his bare torso. Max looked down and felt his face burn hot with embarrassment.

"Uh, uh, yeah, me and Cory, well, you know…I'd better go." Max said running back upstairs. Lisa stared at the stairs and listened when she heard his door slam shut.

"Things that make you go buuuugggggghhhhhhh!" Jessa commented with a laugh as she brushed past Lisa to go outside. Jessa turned and looked at Lisa with a smile.

"So, how'd it go?" Jessa asked. Lisa nodded.

"Better than I would've guessed…then Daddy decided to show up." Lisa added on with irritation.

"Haha, uh oh. I'm going to check the mail and I'll hang with you after you shower."

"Sounds like a plan." Lisa replied, walking downstairs. She had the basement renovated to have nice carpet and it was like her own apartment down there. There was a bathroom, with a shower/bath, toilet and sink. A bedroom big enough for a queen sized bed, a TV and a closet for her clothes. Then the hangout room, which had a huge ass plasma screen TV with every game system on planet Earth ever invented, hooked up. It had surround sound speakers, DVD player, Dish TV, everything, even a bar. Lisa never drank alcohol, except one glass of red wine a day, which kills unwanted stomach bacteria.

"Oh, God, what should I do? I still have those feelings for him, but I don't want to date him, I just want to go back to the way it was." Lisa murmured in the shower, leaning her head back to let the warm water hit her face. It felt great after being tense and stressed all day yesterday. Lisa heard the TV turn on and guessed Jessa was waiting for her.

"I'll get dressed, fuck drying my hair." Lisa commented as she walked to her bedroom. She threw on some jeans and a white T-shirt, draping her towel over her shoulders to keep her shirt from getting wet from her hair. She sat down on the couch next to Jessa, who took a sip of red wine from her glass.

"Alright, so how did you find out about Sesshomaru and me?" Lisa asked Jessa, who smirked while shrugging.

"Well, when I first started working for him, he was so uptight and quiet. No joke, he would only talk to give little orders here and there. So, I thought, "Damn, this place needs comedy, for real." Haha, I started doing little pranks on everybody, even Sesshomaru, and I was expecting to get fired or something, but he said, "You remind me of an old friend of mine." I was proud of myself. He never talked." Jessa began, eating a chip.

"Yeah, me and Max did shit like that all the time." Lisa commented with a smile.

"So, one day, there were only three of us working late, he, Brent and I. We all decided that it was dumb to be there, so we just gathered in the lounge and sat at the table, telling jokes and stories. Brent told us stories about how stupid his girlfriend was, I told morality stories that were hilarious, and Sesshomaru stayed quiet…until Brent and I started quizzing him on relationships."

"Uh oh, I'm the only one that I know of."

"He told us what he did, making out with the girl right in front of you, then blaming it on you when it was his fault and let me tell you something, Lisa, it is a rarity to see a man feel guilty about cheating on a girlfriend, it really is and I'll tell you…I have _never_ seen a more guilt-ridden bastard than him, and I'm positive that he accepts all the responsibility and he really wants to beat himself with a bat for doing it."

"He told you everything? Just like that?" Lisa asked with shock.

"Yeah, later on, since he, Brent and I are pretty much the "Office Best Friends Forever Committee," he told us that the only reason he spilled his guts to us like that was because his family either completely blamed it on you, or on him, they never really listened to how he felt about it, and he really needed a friend or two. Oh, for the record, he never mentioned your name, that's why I didn't know it was you he was talking about."

"So, Max told you the story and you said, "Oh, I heard this from my boss! Oh My God, they dated for three hours?" Hahaha!" Lisa laughed as Jessa nodded her head.

"Yeah, pretty much. So, how do you feel about the whole situation?" Jessa asked, eyeing Lisa carefully. Lisa sighed heavily. This was the question she dreaded most, but the doorbell saved her. Lisa and Jessa ran upstairs and rolled their eyes and laughed when they heard Max screaming, "Can one of you get that? Cory's passed out and I'm still tied up!"

"Sure, bitch, whatever you say!" Jessa hollered evilly as Lisa opened the door. Jessa didn't even have to look. She just felt the tension build up as soon as that door swung open.

"Hey, Lisa." Inutaisho said softly. Jessa cringed as she heard his voice.

_'Oh shit! It's the evil man who hates all of my impersonations!' _she thought horridly. She and Inutaisho had never met before, thank the lord, but Sesshomaru always put Jessa on his personal phone duty whenever Inutaisho got into the habit of calling every ten fucking minutes. Jessa turned around and almost passed out. He looked exactly like Sesshomaru except slightly tanner and older.

"Oh, hey, you miserable bastard." Jessa chirped, instantly getting shocked stares from Lisa and Inutaisho.

"What?" they asked simultaneously.

"Oh! Haha, I thought you were Sesshomaru! You both look alike! I swear it! Sorry!" she lied, hoping they would believe her. Apparently they did, because Inutaisho chuckled softly.

"Yeah, I get that a lot. May I come in?" he asked kindly. Jessa frowned. He was waaaaaaay too nice. Usually he cursed her to Hell and back over the phone, but then again, he had no clue it was she, since she did different accents each time he called.

"Sure." Lisa said, stepping aside and closing the door behind him.

"Uh…thirsty?" Jessa asked as Inutaisho smiled.

"Yes. Some water would be wonderful." He said. Jessa almost melted to the floor from the sound of his deep voice. (She had a fetish for older men.)

"I'm on it." She replied, catching a look from Lisa, who rolled her eyes.

"Old man creeper." Lisa murmured as they made their way to the kitchen. They sat down at the table in this order…Lisa…Inutaisho…Creeper, I mean, Jessa, who handed Inutaisho his glass of water while sitting down, scooting closer to him.

"So, what are you doing here?" Lisa asked Inutaisho, trying not to sound pissed. Inutaisho sipped some water before replying.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if I kind of made you want to leave earlier. I wish I hadn't because Sesshomaru is pissed at me now."

"Why?"

"He thinks that I purposely scared you away from him just to toy with him."

"Oh…Jessa, mind getting me a drink? Now!" Lisa said loudly, noticing that while Inutaisho's focus was on Lisa, Jessa was about to drool all over his arm and dry hump his leg.

"Sure, Dew?" Jessa asked.

"Yeah…minus the drool, this time." Lisa commented, making Jessa twitch nervously. Inutaisho frowned as he drank more water, deciding that it was an inside joke.

"Here," Jessa chirped as Lisa took the can from her, looking back at Inutaisho.

"Anyway, I just wanted to tell you thanks." He said, looking down at the table.

"Why?"

"For forgiving him and…do I hear screaming?" Inutaisho cut off, swearing that he heard someone scream from upstairs. Jessa and Lisa glanced at one another horridly. They both thought the same thing…Cory must've woken up.

"Uh, I didn't hear anything, did you Lisa?" Jessa said loudly.

"Nope! Nothing here!" Lisa added, also being loud. Inutaisho glanced at both of them, frowning with suspicion.

"AH! CORY!" Max hollered with a loud moan. Jessa and Lisa both groaned as they hid their faces. Inutaisho chuckled as he finished drinking his water.

"I see that Max and Cory are still going at it…forgive the pun." He said.

"Yeah, every other day." Jessa laughed.

"Anyway, you found it in your heart to forgive him and I really am happy that you did, I was so worried that he had given up on life. Also, would you ever reconsider dating him?" Inutaisho asked. Lisa sighed. That damn question that she couldn't answer to herself.

"I…no." she shot out quickly. She felt the Angel Lisa on one shoulder and the Devil Lisa on the other, shouting in her ears, but she heard 'no' the loudest. Inutaisho nodded with disappointment.

"Hm, that's too bad. Well, I'll stay out of it and let you two work it out at your pace…are you sniffing me?" Inutaisho asked Jessa sharply, who laughed timidly.

"Sorry, you smell good and you are damn sexy. Can't help myself." She said boldly.

"Oh well, if you're that interested in me why didn't you just say so? Here's my number, call me sometime. Well, bye." Inutaisho chirped, writing his number on her hand with a pen he pulled from his pocket.

"Wait? Aren't you married?" Lisa asked.

"No, she died five years ago. Didn't Sesshomaru tell you?" he replied sadly.

"Apparently not." Lisa replied.

"Oh, well, I haven't had a date, or any sex, since then, so, uh, call me!" he yelled, running out the door to avoid any more questions. Jessa looked at her hand, then up at Lisa with a huge grin on her face.

"Did he just say he'd fuck me?" Jessa asked with disbelief. She was more in shock than she was happy. Lisa shrugged with a smile.

"More or less, yeah. He'd fuck anything that walks."

"Hahaha! I'm calling him later! But hey, I have to go shopping with my sister, see you later!" Jessa giggled, putting his number in on her phone and grabbing her keys to leave. Lisa sighed to herself. Everybody around her was getting laid, and there she was, age 24, still a virgin.

"Psh, whatever. I'm going to bed." Lisa grumbled, walking downstairs to go to sleep.

Later on that night, Lisa woke up and looked in her mirror. She had black hair parted over on the left side and it was looking a beastly mess. She brushed her hair and smirked. Much better. Lisa put her shoes on, thinking it was still light outside. She didn't even bother looking at her phone. Lisa walked upstairs and into the living room, being greeted with Inutaisho sitting on the couch in jeans and a t-shirt.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?" Lisa snapped angrily. She didn't like him.

"I told you I was going to call him tonight. What? Did you think I was joking?" Jessa retorted, handing him a glass of wine and sitting down next to him.

"I prayed to God and Satan that you were joking. Oh well." Lisa sighed, sitting in the chair.

"Don't worry, we're going to my place, so you don't have to listen to us." Inutaisho chimed with grin.

"I'm pretty sure your dead wife is tossing and turning in her grave right now." Lisa spat back at him irritably.

"Dude, Lisa, calm down. He's really not that bad of a guy, he's actually really sweet." Jessa insisted. Lisa frowned, but then an idea hit her.

"Hey, Jessa, do your little Scarface impersonation for us." Lisa suggested, smirking as Jessa gasped.

"No, no, I'm not in a Scarface mood." Jessa said.

"How about your Asian accent? Haha, Inutaisho, she's so fucking hilarious when she does it." Lisa giggled evilly. Inutaisho looked at Jessa, smirking widely.

"Come on, Jessa, I want to hear." He pleaded, putting his arm around her shoulders and patting her head. Jessa glared daggers at Lisa, who shrugged.

"No, it's not that funny." Jessa said.

"Pleeeeeeaaaaaassssssssseeeee?" Inutaisho begged, bringing out the puppy eyes.

"Ugh, fine. Yaaaaaay, we going to have good time, yes? I tell jokes, you laugh, yes? Do you want rice and noodles? No? Oh, my name Wy Chu and I do have driver's license, thank you." Jessa said quickly, hoping he wouldn't catch on, but that was a failed attempt. Inutaisho frowned once she started, staring off at the wall.

"I know I've heard that somewhere, damn. Hahaha! You were hilarious!" Inutaisho laughed, standing up with Jessa.

"So, want to see a movie?" she asked him.

"Sure, it's only nine right now." Inutaisho said.

"Don't forget to take your pills, Grandpa." Lisa chirped, heading to the door.

"Shut up!" Inutaisho snapped as Jessa giggled.

"He's not the one who should be worrying about pills tonight." Jessa retorted, laughing as she saw Lisa cringe with the images.

"You want to tag along? We may make a little stop on the way there, if you catch my drift." Inutaisho purred, as Lisa shook her head no.

"You go do that, now. Yep, have fun, you be good at it!" Lisa yelled, slamming the door behind them. Inutaisho and Jessa hopped in his car as he drove to a house across the street and parked out front, turning the car off.

"Now, watch." Jessa insisted.

"This will take forever." Inutaisho growled impatiently.

Lisa sat on the couch, staring at the floor. Max and Cory went to go meet up with other friends, Jessa was going to go bang Sesshomaru's dad, so where was Lisa left? At home, alone. It took a few minutes to gather up the courage to go over to Sesshomaru's house.

"God, if you love me, make him be busy doing something." Lisa grumbled, walking down the sidewalk. Inutaisho and Jessa watched with smirks.

"Told you. Ten minutes is her "gathering" time." Jessa said with a laugh.

"I wonder if she'll reconsider." Inutaisho whispered.

Lisa stopped at Sesshomaru's door, her hand raised in the air. She wasn't still arguing about whether to hang with him or not, she was wondering if she should ring the doorbell or knock.

"Oh, Lisa, come on, just do it." Jessa whined, thinking Lisa was about to turn around and walk back home.

"She will." Inutaisho said sternly, as if he was going to do something about it.

Lisa let out a breath of annoyance and decided to ring the doorbell, in case he was somewhere in the house where he couldn't hear her knock. She heard him order Yujiro to go lie down, but the dog loved company, especially girls. Sesshomaru opened the door and felt his face drop. He wasn't expecting Lisa.

"Oh, hi, um…bad timing?" Lisa asked, seeing as he was in a T-shirt and pajama pants, but he was soaked head to toe in water. Sesshomaru looked down at himself and groaned.

"No, Yujiro snuck outside and was running around the pool, so I tried to get him back in, but then I dropped my shirt in the water by accident, so I went to grab it and Yujiro did a Charlie Horse on me and I fell in." he explained quickly. He expected Lisa to laugh, giggle, something, but instead, her stare was focused on his wet clothes. She was looking him up and down without even thinking. She could see his muscles and his pants hung off his hips. Lisa thoughtlessly licked her lips and looked up at Sesshomaru, almost determined to rip them off him. Sesshomaru saw the animal-like flash in her eyes and frowned.

"Uh…Lisa?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm getting a bad feeling." Inutaisho whispered.

"Me t…oh shit!" Jessa hollered as Lisa jumped at Sesshomaru, giving him a fierce kiss on the lips. The two in the car watched as he returned the passion, pulling her inside and closing the door. Inutaisho sat back in his seat, staring straight forward, mouth wide open and his eyes wide with shock. He was just expecting a hug or something, not that.

"I…I, dude _what the hell_?" Jessa asked, also filled with disbelief and shock. They were silent for a minute before looking at one another.

"S…so, you still want to go to that movie?" Inutaisho asked quietly, as if someone was going to hear them.

"Yeah, yeah…sure…oh shit."

"Oh shit."

"Shit."

"Damn, now I can't think."

"My eyes! They buuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrn!" Jessa whined as they drove away.

AN- FIN! Hahaha, I got quite a few personal messages saying, "Just put them back together, please?" So, I do as my readers command…even though I hate romance all the way to the bitter end, so, yeah, you're happy and I'm disgusted with myself. (The way God intended it.) I should go shower off with Holy Water or something…read the Bible…talk to a burning bush that claims to be God.

Also, someone begged me to make another story starring our favorite tag team bitches…Shana and Kay. Haha, give me a few days and I think I can get it started, but first, I have another story to worry about. I haven't posted for almost a week.


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